Take these broken wings
by Ierpier
Summary: Regina is to wed the Lord of Sherwood Forest; Robin of Locksley. Terrified of the entrapments of a loveless marriage, she finds that the same marriage might just be able to bring her the freedom she has always desired.
1. Chapter 1

Regina nervously combed through her thick, dark hair, repeating the same movement over and over again until her scalp and wrists ached. Her hair had never shone brighter, but the small sparkles of youth that had danced in her eyes before were all but gone. She furiously tried not to notice the extravagantly beautiful white dress that was just waiting for her. Fittings had filled her heart with dread before, but now that she couldn't tune it out anymore, it was fear that encompassed her mind as she glanced at the white fabric that was to be her leash.  
"Regina any more of that and you'll pull it out!" Cora scolded, slapping the brush from her daughter's hand with a wisp of magic. It had been many years since she had touched her daughter. It had been hardly a day since Regina had felt the sting of her anger, brought to her by magic. It was better that way, Cora had explained to her in odd cheerfulness, because it didn't leave any marks. She also taught her daughter how to conceal any marks that others could make upon her and had warned her girl never to speak about it, to heal her own wounds and carry her burdens herself. 'It is about what they want, not what you do.' Cora had told her. The man Regina was to marry was one of the men that her mother had told her about. The kind of men that had every right to her body and soul, the one that she should please to whatever end. Regina would have to do whatever it took to please the lord of Locksley, and that was all she knew and all her mother cared for her to know.  
"Put on the dress, dear, we want him to see a woman, not a girl barely capable of carrying his children yet." Cora sneered, waving her hand and coating her daughter in the white, shimmering fabric. "You are, aren't you?" Cora asked, almost as if the idea that her daughter would be unable to fulfill the only task she had to accomplish was too absurd to even mention. She walked up to her daughter and made another careless gesture, tightening the corset and slamming the air from Regina's lungs.  
Regina gasped, tried to catch her breath and blushed at her mother's question. "Yes." She quickly supplied, earning a pleased smile from her mother before the corset was tightening again around her fragile figure. The question itself hurt more than the tightening of the corset, because her mother knew full well that she was capable of carrying a child. It hurt, but she barely moved, remained standing and held her head high. Her mother had told her that; never show them how much it hurts. She would never show her mother how much pain she had caused her, would never show her mourning for all that she had lost.  
"You look beautiful." Cora praised, but the words rang hollow in Regina's ears. Words from her mother had stopped meaning things to her a long time ago. She had chosen to listen only to those who cared for, but her mother silenced them until she couldn't hear anything of them anymore. Daniel hadn't called her beautiful for a long time, her father hadn't called her his 'little girl' anymore. Even the servants weren't allowed to marvel at her riding or her grace anymore. It had been a lonely life, yet right now loneliness was what she desired above all.  
"He will be expecting us." Said Cora with an excited smile, taking her daughter's hands. Regina gasped, barely keeping herself from pulling back her hands. Her mother hadn't touched her like this in a very long time. The older woman smiled and traced her finger over her daughter's joints. "The ring will feel heavy, my dear, but you will carry it. You will satisfy him and you will be his wife. Do you understand?"  
Regina quickly nodded and her mother let go of her hands. "Good. Let us depart, we would not wish to arrive late to your own wedding."  
Regina nodded, terrified of the prospect of marrying this man, but infinitely more terrified of her mother's wrath. So she followed, she kept her head high, forced a smile and faced the future her mother had paved for her. After all, it was all she had.

* * *

The kingdom of the Sherwood forest was wildly different from the landscape Regina was accustomed to: the lands around the enchanted forest were light and with a gentleness, as if the gods had smiled down upon the lands. The Sherwood forest was as savage as the tribes that were said to inhabit it: the woods were thick with trees and sunlight barely touched the ground, causing the ground to be bare, but the thick canopy of leaves to press down upon them. The trees were thick with black bark, red from the inside and tipped with golden leaves. The natives called it Dragonswood, because it was virtually impenetrable and went untouched by the hottest of fires. Because it didn't burn and was hardly unable to cut down, the trees grew until they seemed to touch the sun, bathing in the gold rays. The sunlight filtering through the sheet of golden leaves gave the forest and oddly light glow. It was a beautiful place, Regina registered, too terrified to really marvel at the beauty of the place. It was also a harsh place and Regina's home for possibly the rest of her life and that made it haunting above everything else.

"Halt, what business do you seek in Sherwood forest?" Regina jumped the sudden voice and she saw her mother startle momentarily from the corner of her eyes. Cora straightened herself and glared up to one of the trees above them.  
"We have the only business that matters." She snapped. "I am bringing you your Queen, Lady Regina, betrothed to King Robin of Locksley."  
The next moment the figure appeared before them, having jumped down from one of the tall trees. He was a tall, lean man with dark skin and darker eyes. His dark hair was kept away from his face in a loose braid and he was clad in the same impervious black of the tree trunks, making him nearly impossible to spot when he was immobile. Dark, smoky leather was bound over sturdy yet light fabric.  
"Your titles mean nothing to me." He told them with disdain. Now that he was speaking, Regina could hear the distinct accent in his voice. The way the twisted his tongue around the vowels, lifted the ends of some words and hollowed out others. The words seemed to play with him as much as he did with them. He sounded like the forest: quiet, raspy with danger just beneath the surface. A dark bow was flung over his shoulder and a dozen of golden tipped arrows graced the quiver on his back. Regina could barely make out the glittering of knives underneath the thick of his light cape, but she had already seen enough to know that this man was dangerous, even if he didn't seem as savage as Regina had though the forest dwellers to be. "But it seems you speak true. Lady Regina is indeed a much awaited guest." He bowed before Regina, but only gave a slight nod towards Cora, before turning around and gesturing to the couple to follow. Regina could feel the eyes of the forest dwellers that probably watched them from the trees upon them for the entire trip to Robin encampment. Cora had told her that being Robin's queen would come with wealth and respect, but Regina had trouble understanding It now that she laid eyes upon the camp. Laid out in a clearing was a well-guarded encampment of barely over a hundred men. The tents looked sturdy, but didn't compare in the least to the extravagance of royal palaces. Robin was said to be lord of the Sherwood forest, but Regina briefly wondered if perhaps there just wasn't that much alive in the strange golden-black forests.  
"You still carry your words upon your skin." Cora said with annoyance, swatting her daughter's hand and gazing angrily at her. "I can feel your all wonderings and I advise you to express none of them. Robin has a thousand of the best archers in the lands and owns all the richness of the Sherwood forests. There is more gold in these woods than you will be worth in a lifetime, but soon it will be _yours_." She hissed, feeling the gazes upon them as much as her daughter did. Suddenly she pulled away from her daughter and fell into a low curtsy. "My Lord."  
Regina followed without looking, keeping her gaze down upon the ground until she would be told to rise. She wasn't told for a very long time, instead feeling the gaze of her future husband upon her. Finally a hand took hers and she was pulled upward.

"Lady Regina. It was a pleasure to finally behold your beauty. Your mother has not exaggerated, I daresay." Robin spoke with the same lilt in his voice was the ranger that had greeted them, but softer, less threatening. Regina dared to look up and was met with a face gentler than she had expected. The man standing before her was in his mid-thirties, but his eyes still carried some of the spark of youth she had seen dissipating from her own. There was also pain in them beneath the surface, but his mouth was curled up in a gentle smile. The wildsmen in the stories she had read was always sported dark beards, but Robin only had a nearly trimmed beard, barely more than a stubble to grace his face. His eyes were light and blue, very much unlike the black eyes that the stories told about. He was dressed in lighter clothing than the ranger they had been greeted by, probably because he didn't have to hide like the scouts, Regina figured. The idea of being married off to a strange men still terrified her, but she felt mildly relieved at the fact that many of the stories she had been told already seemed to be false. Maybe this man wouldn't be as savage to her as she had prepared herself for.  
Regina suddenly realized that an answer was expected and quickly smiled at him, curtsying again to be sure she had expressed enough respect for this man. "Thank you, my Lord. I am a very fortunate lady that I am to wed you."  
Robin frowned at her words and Regina startled, glancing at mother in fear of having said something wrong. Before Cora could speak to mend her mistake, however, Robin spoke again; "Yes, Milady." He seemed to rest the word upon his tongue, to taste and value it. "Forgive me when I say you are of a younger age than your mother made it sound." He finally said, oddly careful in choosing his words for a lord on his own lands. Regina froze in confusion, for this was something she could hardly change to fit her husband. A small fluttering inside her rose; surely her mother wouldn't hold it against her if Robin rejected her on account of her age? Before Robin could do such a thing, however, Cora gave him one of her smiles and reassured him with a voice sweet as honey.  
"I assure you, my Lord, she is of age and old enough to fulfill the duties expected of her. She has first flowered many seasons ago and is young and fit to bear your children."  
Regina blushed awkwardly at her mother talking about things she considered private to a men she had never met, while watched by eyes she had never gazed upon and listened to by ears she had never wanted to speak to. She tried desperately not to fiddle, to stand proud and express all that Cora had made her out to be.

Robin turned towards his future queen again, his gaze tracing the contours of her body before nodding and taking her hand. He pressed a gentle kiss to it and gave a low bow towards Cora. "So shall it be. Milady, I will have you escorted towards your tent. Night will fall soon and I would have you settled by then. Tomorrow we will be wed and you can first see the Sherwood Forests and its inhabitants as its Queen." He smiled towards her and for a second Regina could read the same uncertainty in his eyes that she had perceived in her own. Then he turned towards her mother and sent a ranger along with her to escort her from the forest. Cora protested, wanting to stay near her daughter until the wedding, but Robin was insistent, telling her the forest wouldn't be kind to outsiders like her. It both warmed Regina's heart and scared her that already she wasn't considered an outsider anymore. She was escorted to her tent by a tall, gaunt woman three years her senior and almost a head taller. Women dressed and behaved as men within the Sherwood forest and were as capable with weapon as any of the men, Regina had been told. She had asked if she would fit in with the tribe with her lack of knowledge about weapons and combat and the wilds.  
Cora had told her that Robin desired a wife, not an maid and things were left at that.

* * *

It was light in the tent. The light of the moon filtering through the golden leaves made it seem as if daylight tickled her face even in the dead of night. The camp never seemed to be asleep, shadows always prowling, strange dark figures on the canvas of her empty tent. She was used to the loneliness, but somehow within this strange environment it was worse, because even the memories of better days couldn't reach her here. Normally in her loneliness she would cry herself to sleep, but without darkness to reach out towards her, sleep stayed away. So she stared at the golden canvas above her and tried to forget that she was to be married on the morrow, tried to forget that this would be her life for all of her days to come.

And she cried. She cried until her body ached and her eyes stung. She cried until she was numb.

* * *

**This is totally game of thrones inspired and I have no regrets. Please review :-)**

**Cover image made by me. Forest background by kuschelirmel-stock ****deviantart**


	2. Chapter 2

She awoke at the crest of down, apparently having gotten some sleep after all. If the night had been light, the morning was positively blinding. She was rushed from her sleep by a girl no older than fifteen years old with gentle eyes and fair sin. Her long brown hair barely reached her shoulders and was matched by equally brown hair. She smiled at Regina and gave a small curtsy in greeting.  
"Milady, I am Mhairi, tasked with preparing you for the ceremony." The girl told her with a shy glance towards her. Mhairi lacked the confidence that had so far bolstered in any man and woman in the encampment and thus seemed a lot less threatening to Regina. Instead she reminded her of herself.  
"Preparing?" Regina asked uncertain, hoping that she wouldn't have to go through some kind of horrid initiation. The girl seemed to pick up on her anxiety and quickly rushed to explain.  
"It is nothing special, My Lady, I will simply bathe and dress you according to Lord Robin's wishes."  
Regina nodded thankfully and crawled up from the bed. It wasn't terribly uncomfortable, but as she was accustomed to sleeping on beds with feather pillows and a sturdy mattress, it still had taken a strain upon her body. She straightened herself and quickly put her chin up in the air, trying to look as regal and imposing as she possibly could.  
"Okay. Where is the bathtub?" She asked, trying to sound like the queen she would soon become. Mhairi stayed silent and shuffled awkwardly, looking as if she'd rather be anything but where she currently was.  
"It is customary to bathe in the river, Milady." She finally explained, evidently hoping that she wouldn't upset the lady she was to serve too much. "Using a bathtub would be considered a waste of nature's resources and an insult to the richness of our forest. But if you insist-"  
"I will abide by your customs, as is my duty." Regina cut the girl off, smiling softly at Mhairi's relieved sigh. Regina cleared her throat and walked towards the entrance to her tent. She had cried last night, she had barely gotten any sleep and both had undoubtedly left their marks upon her, but she wouldn't let it show. She had to dry her tears and act like a queen, because whether she wanted or not, she would soon be one.

* * *

Even though the camp was never truly asleep, it seemed that Regina had been awoken before most of the encampment. A few curious eyes and probably a dozen more she didn't notice followed her around, but the grounds around the camp were relatively empty.  
"Robin told me to wake and bathe you early. He wants the men to see you first as their queen." Mhairi explained to her as they walked towards the stream. They reached their destination after a few minutes of walking a carefully carved path through the forest. It was evident that many feet had walked this road many times before, but for now it was desolated, most of the world still asleep.

The place was truly beautiful and Regina couldn't help but stand in awe when he beheld it for the first: a stream flowed over and in between rocks that shone as black as night. Even here the canopy was thick, only a thin line of sky visible where the even the most thirsty threes couldn't soak in the sunlight. Through the gold leaves the sunlight painted the stream with a golden shimmering on the surface. Floating in the stream were petals ranging from small pinks to large golden. The scents of the flowers that flocked towards the water reminded Regina of the warm baths she used to take at home, but more real, as if the scents could never be caught and bottled completely. Mhairi stood behind her awkwardly for a few moment as she took in the beauty of the stream, but eventually walked towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Milady, Robin wishes us to be present when he wakes. You should take your bath." She urged gently and Regina nodded. For a second she hesitated, but then she decided that the time for being a young girl shy about her body was already far behind her. She would have to give her body to another stranger soon, one who would desire far more of it than one shy girl that helped her bathe. Quickly deciding she let the white silks that Robin's men had handed to her slide from her arms, shivering for a moment when the cool wind that emanated from the stream touched her skin. She saw Mhairi undressing herself beside her and realized that the people in this tribe were probably used to bathing along with others. She took a deep breath and stepped towards the water, hesitating just a moment before submerging herself in the glittering gold sea of flowers.

It was ice cold and chilled her to the bone in just a few seconds. The ice stung on her skin and burned her lungs, pressed on her chest until all the breath was expelled. She shivered and had to fight to stop the tears from coming from her eyes. She bit her lip to stop her teeth from clattering and rubbed her arms as she desperately tried to keep warm. The thought that this, too, was going to be a regular part of her life made the breath leave her lungs in a hurry once again, made her feel like a lost little girl who would never, ever be home in the dark, dense forests.  
"Breathe. Just breathe. Keep moving. You will get used to it." Mhairi reassured her, walking up towards her and barely even blinking at the sight of her naked body. She was as submerged in the ice cold water as Regina was, but it barely seemed to bother her. Regina clattered her teeth, but willed herself to stay in the water until the cold stopped stinging her. Mhairi gestured for her to dive beneath the surface to wet her hair and Regina finally found the courage to dive under. When she returned to the surface, she felt chilled to the bone, dripping wet and oddly refreshed, as if she had been born again.

Mhairi taught her to wash herself in the way the people of the forest are accustomed to: After some initial caution from Regina, she finally allowed every bit of self-consciousness to slide form her shoulders as she allowed the girl to demonstrate the way to remove dirt and filth from her skin. The girl carefully rubbed scantly oil mixed with rock salt on her skin and even more carefully used a knife to scrape it off. Regina was terrified, sitting perfectly still every time the knife touched her skin, but Mhairi handled the knife with expert proficiency and not once the knife slid from its path. Mhairi explained that it was customary for a men and woman to share their baths and clean each other this way. She explained that it was the best way to build trust between an man and woman and that if one didn't trust to other with the job, then the marriage perhaps should not be. Regina shuddered at the thought of her future husband not only seeing her vulnerable like this, but also that he would be doing something both dangerous and intimate like this. The idea that she would have to do the same to him frightened her even more, because she figured her husband wouldn't respond kindly to her accidentally drawing blood with the knife instead of oil and salt.  
After the salt had been scraped off her body, Regina once again had to submerge herself in the icy cold of her river, finding that it chilled her a little less the second time. Afterwards Mhairi carefully combed through her long hair, rubbing the same oil that she had used on her body through it and braiding flowers within the dark locks of her hair. When she was fully dried, Mhairi helped her into the dress that had been selected for her. Regina noted with a note of amusement that it wasn't the dress her mother had painstakingly picked out for her. It was still beautiful, but more practical. It was shorter than her old dress, reaching only down to her knees and was made from very light fabric. The first layer of the dress was a simple white figure, covered by a second layer formed by a longer dress that largely consisted out of lace and painted a thousand white flowers and streamed over arms and legs. A tasteful belt with silver took the place where a corset had been in her old one, a fact that Regina was infinitely thankful for. The dress showed her figure, but also made her look a look younger than the other dress did. It was a dress for a girl her age, but Regina feared that that would be precisely why it wouldn't be good enough.  
"You look beautiful." Said Mhairi and Regina smiled softly at her. Watching her own reflection she had to admit that she looked like a princess. She just hoped it would also be enough to be a queen.

* * *

Robin had insisted on an early wedding, so the sun had not yet reached the top of its journey when she was nervously seated inside a small tent waiting for her wedding to commence. She hadn't seen Robin since their first meeting yesterday and if he had seen her, he hadn't paid any attention to her. Mhairi had escorted her to the tent, but left soon after and never returned, so she was left completely alone and miserable in the strange emptiness of the tent. Just when she thought about peeking outside and see if her wedding would commence sometime, her mother came barging into the tent. Regina could tell with one glance at her mother that she was annoyed and angry, probably still because Robin had refused to have her stay at the camp the night before.  
"Oh no dear this won't do. You are to be queen, not a maid." Cora instantly commented as soon as she took in her daughter. With a careless gesture of her hand she forced Regina to turn around painfully, allowing her to take in the girl in full. Her face turned especially scolding at the sight of her breasts and flat shoes. "Are they making an effort to hide your curves? They dressed you like a child."  
Regina wished she was still a child, somehow thinking that it would make things so much easier if she were. Cora had been delighted to hear of it the day Regina had flowered for the first time, praising her as if it was her daughter's only accomplishment in her life. Cora prowled closer, placing her hands on her daughter's waist and Regina could feel the fabric magically tightening around her waist, feeling it wring the breath from her lungs. "You are a queen. Dress like one."  
_'I am the queen_' Regina thought and the words bolstered her with unknown courage. In a streak of fury and bravery she swatted away her mother's hand. Cora gasped and narrowed her eyes, a snarl already appearing on her face, but the rebellion had sparked in Regina's heart and wouldn't be squelched so easily. She pushed her mother away with both hands and felt the strain around her waist lessen with every second, felt the weight of her mother's oppression lifting already. Cora's eyes raged in fury at her daughter's disobedience and a second later her hand was burning in a purple flame, one that Regina knew wouldn't leave any marks, but would hurt just as much as any flame.  
"You shouldn't have done that, silly girl. You are still my daughter and you will obey me!" She moved towards her to throw the fire, but before she could make two steps, the shrieked in pain as an arrow embedded itself in her hand. The flame instantly went out as Cora turned around in fury and was faced with a ranger, this time dressed in white and golden clothes. A stark black bow was aimed at Cora and his eyes never left her. "I suggest you leave this forest this instant, my lady, before Robin learns of your treatment of his wife."  
"She is my daughter and I have every right to treat her as I wish!" Cora fumed, pulling the arrow from her hand and healing up the blood with a quick gesture, barely even looking at it. The ranger snarled dangerously and pulled back string of his bow. "She is the queen of the Sherwood forests, those who harm her will be punished by death." He aimed the bow up to her head and his fingers played the string like a fine instrument. Cora gasped and narrowed her eyes, turning around to her daughter and giving her a dark glare that rattled Regina to the bones. "Do not mess this up." She threatened before disappearing in purple smoke.

"Are you all right, Milady?" The ranger asked, swinging the black bow over his shoulders and taking off the cap. He was much younger than Regina had thought him to be and a lot less threatening without the bow pointed and ready. Regina nodded and quickly steeled herself for what was to come. As she walked behind the ranger she realized with a dull thud that she still wasn't free of her mother. Robin's men would protect her from her mother's wrath, would keep her safe from the harm that the sorceress could inflict upon her, but if Regina failed to please him there would be nothing to stand between Regina and her mother. Regina didn't know how far Cora's fury would go then and had no desire to find out. So she kept her head high and followed the ranger, realizing that the marriage was no longer a matter of pleasing her mother, but of surviving her.

* * *

_The Romans actually used to bathe this way as a substitute for soap. Now a mixture of salt and oil can still be used as a homemade scrub.  
please rate and review_


	3. Chapter 3

She had expected her mother to escort her towards her new husband, but with Cora gone Regina found that she had to take the long walk on her own. Without her mother to push her towards her marriage, it felt almost ridiculously easy to just run away and never return. There was only one ranger and if she was quiet she was sure she would be able to run away before he noticed that she was gone. But she kept walking through the now empty camp, though small pathways to the place where she was to wed Robin of Locksley. Summer rays lightly painted her pace and made her dress glow a faint gold. She already looked like she belonged in the forest, she realized with a dull pain. She kept her head high with the force of sheer will and followed the footsteps of the ranger in front of her.

After only minutes of walking a music reached her ears; an enchanting, slow music that slightly calmed her nerves. It was different from the music she was used to at home: not the music she knew how to dance to or to make herself. It was quaint, simple and sounded like the forest it inhabited. She lifted her head and noticed once again the beauty of the forest that had escaped her when she arrived the first time. They were upstream from where Regina had taken a bath earlier; the golden water crowded with flowers cascaded down upon black rocks in a majestic downpour of water. A shallow pond engraved into the earth by the downpour rested at its feet and trickled down into the river Regina had bathed in earlier. It was a breathtakingly beautiful place and the sight of it calmed her, even if it was inhabited by hundreds of people who scared every cell of her being. At her arrival hundreds of Robin's men stood up and bowed before her. She used to turn away and blush when people bowed down when she was younger, something Cora had scolded her endlessly for. Regina found, however, that without the presence of her mother, it was much easier to keep her head held high, to walk like the queen she was supposed to become. Robin was standing in front of the waterfall, his back turned towards her as he filled a golden bowl with the downpour of water. Regina nervously searched for Mhairi in the audience, as if the girl could tell her what to do, but the girl either wasn't present or Regina couldn't find her in the sea of unknown faces.

Just before she reached Robin, the archer turned around and gave a slight bow. He was dressed in the same black as his rangers, but with golden embroidery down his sleeves and vest. Drops of liquid gold from the waterfall had already gathered itself upon his clothes and sparked in his short blonde hair. He smiled towards her was he offered her the golden bowl with the clear, glittering water of the fountain gathered inside and gestured for her to take a sip. Regina carefully took the bow and brought her lips to the rim, letting the ice cold water slide down and paint a chill through her body. Robin then took the bowl from her and wrapped his own calloused hands around her small, tender ones. Still without speaking a word he guided her towards the water and stepped beneath the downpour of the waterfall, letting the ice cold water consume him. Regina hesitated, but then followed him and allowed herself to be soaked to the bone by the golden rain that came crashing down upon both of them. Robin still hasn't spoken a word to her, but as she started to shake from the cold he moved his hands up towards her arms and pulled her towards him, enveloping her with the warmth of his body while the water still poured down upon them. Regina didn't know if it was a ritual or a test or something of both, but she was determined to keep herself standing up. So she did, involuntarily leaning into the warmth the strange man offered her.

Robin only let her go when the song had ended and the only sound between them was the clattering of the water down upon their figures. Robin then combed his fingers through her braided hair, carefully taking out the flowers and letting her hair fall down over the curves of her shoulders. He moved his fingers down over her body, but his touch was only a ghost and he made no effort to remove the dress. He then slid his a hands over hers and Regina already lifted her hand in expectance of a ring being placed upon it. Instead Robin bowed down and placed a light kiss upon her hand, before he lead her away from the ice cold water towards where his men were seated.

Regina stood between them and the waterfall, dripping wet and chilling cold and feeling more on display than she'd ever been. The men were silent, not even a single murmur rose from the crowd. Suddenly she felt Robin's strong hands upon her shoulders and felt the warmth radiating from him. Then the softest fabric she had ever felt replaced his hands and a cape as black as his own clothes was placed around her shoulders. Robin rubbed her back and arms with the fabric and wrapped it around her to bring the warmth back to her body. After Regina stopped shuddering Robin gently turned her around to face him and took her face between his hands. Regina's breath hitched, knowing that the hunter who still hadn't spoken to her would want to seal their marriage. The man indeed leaned down, but only pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. When his lips touched her skin, she heard the applause and cheering explode behind her. Without knowing anything about the ceremony of the culture of the men of the forest, she knew that her marriage was sealed and that she had somehow gained the approval of Robin and his men. She was the queen of men she knew nothing about, in a land strange to her and she wondered if she would ever find a home within the strange beauty of the Sherwood forest.

* * *

The ceremony was followed by festivities and a tourney. Robin hardly paid any attention to her, mingling with his men while they danced to strange music and drank strange beverages that smelled like wildflowers and earth. She was seated upon a chair that slightly resembled a throne, the cloak still wrapped tightly around her moist dress and chilly figure. Robin partook in the tourney and showed himself to be the finest archer of all, easily beating the best of his men by shooting targets that Regina could hardly perceive. Robin's men drank and drunkenly danced and talked up the other ladies that were taking part in the festivities, but none ever came near her. The men shied away from her as if she was a predator that would harm those who got too close. She had been terrified of Robin's men when she had first arrived, but now that none of them even talked to her anymore, all she felt was desperately lonely. Mhairi was nowhere to be found and she knew the name of no other of Robin's women.

"Who are you?" Regina startled at the tiny voice that suddenly rose up beside her. Turning to her left she was a young boy gazing up towards her. He eyed her curiously with big, brown eyes from behind a curly mess of brown hair. The black cape he was wearing almost reached towards the ground. Regina was at a loss for words at the child suddenly appearing and the boy giggled, apparently having found her expression amusing. Regina couldn't help but smile herself at the sight of the giggling boy as he walked closer towards her and tried to climb the chair next to her where her husband had been seated before. He was an agile little monkey and managed to get upon the chair before Regina could even try to stop him. The boy gazed at her curiously, evidently still expecting an answer to his question.  
"I am …" _your queen_ rang through Regina's head. "Regina." She said.  
"My name's Roland." The boy declared proudly, as if simply carrying his name was an accomplishment on its own. Regina smiled at him and turned her attention back to the tourney, watching her husband shooting arrows and laughing with his men. A part of her longed to be with him, to be able to able to shed the skin of the outsider that she still felt herself to be, but an even bigger part held her back, kept her chained to the chair she had been seated in for the entire evening.  
"Are you lonely?" The boy asked, climbing from his seat towards hers and nestling himself on her lap. He reminded Regina of the cats they used to have back at home. Her favorite one had adored her and would climb on her lap whenever he got the chance. Regina thought she missed that cat above all things at home.  
"Why would I be lonely?" She asked the boy, her mind still wistfully back in better times when that question would be a real one. She stroked the boy's hair and smiled softly down to him.  
"Because you're sad." Roland answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Regina couldn't help but laugh a bit at the boy's words. Of all the hundreds of men and women in Robin's camp, the only one who understood her was a boy of barely five years old.  
"Yeah I suppose." Regina answered him honestly. "Less now though." She told him and Roland smiled towards her, his eyes lighting up as dimples appeared on his cheeks. He cocked his head and followed her gaze that was aimed towards Robin and his men.  
"If you're lonely, why are you here all alone?" Roland reasoned, gazing up towards her curiously. Regina sighed and unconsciously put her arms around the little boy on her lap.  
"I don't know any of them." She explained with a sullen voice. "This is a fest for me, but they don't pay attention to me." Tears stung in her eyes as she laid her heart bare before the little boy on her lap.  
"You know me." Roland answered cheerfully and Regina chuckled.  
"Yes, I do." She answered softly, smiling at him and squeezing his hand.

"Why are they having a party for you?" Regina couldn't help but smile at the words the little boy used. What she called a party at her home was nothing like what she was witnessing now, but instead of telling the boy that she stroked his hair and told him the truth.  
"It's a wedding." She explained and Roland's face lit up at the word. "You know what that is?" Regina asked, smiling at the boy's reply and Roland nodded.  
"It's when two people love each other very much. My daddy loved my mommy very much and they had a wedding too." He explained with the same pride he had told her his name. Regina smiled solemnly, the memory of a younger version of herself forcing itself to the surface, of a young girl who had thought of marriage and love and weddings in the exact same way. The world hadn't hesitated to prove her wrong.  
"Your dad's right." She answered him gently and Roland giggled at her.

Afterwards, the boy's curiosity seemed tampered and instead of asking more questions, he curled himself up in a ball in her lap. She heard him murmuring to himself for a few minutes, before his breathing slowed and he fell asleep, his thumb firmly pressed in his mouth. The men were still drinking, the music was still foreign and no man or woman still talked to their new queen, but for the first time in the entire day Regina didn't feel alone anymore.

* * *

"Roland?" the sun was starting to set when Regina nearly jumped up from her chair at Robin's voice. The man stood in front of her, a hand placed upon the head of the little boy nestled contently in her lap. The boy woke up and yawned, smiling at Robin when he woke up and stretching his arms towards him. Robin picked up the boy instantly and Regina's heart already mourned the departure of the little boy's soothing presence.  
"I'm so sorry Milady, he was not supposed to be here. He must've snuck out from under the maid's watch." Robin apologized. "He's a sly little fox like that." He added with a half-proud, half-scolding glance towards Roland. Roland giggled happily in reply and gave his new friend a toothy grin.  
"He wasn't bothering me." Regina answered gracefully and Robin smiled.  
"Still, I wouldn't have planned you to meet my boy this way. But now I suppose introductions are in order. Regina, this is my son Roland. Roland, this is my wife Regina." He gestured between them. Roland frowned in confusion and opened his mouth to ask a question, but Robin spoke to her before the little boy could.  
"Now if you excuse me, Milady, I have to escort this little boy back to his tent." He nodded towards her before taking his son with him and disappearing out of view, leaving Regina alone once sat in confusion at the words Roland had told her. '

_My daddy loved my mommy very much and they had a wedding too.'_ The boy had told her and the heart wrenching realization downed upon her that not only had Robin lost his wife, but the little boy she had grown to like so fast had lost a mother.  
She wondered what had happened to her.

* * *

_The "Are you lonely?" conversation I stole from Doctor Who. I love it and I thought it fitted really well._


	4. Chapter 4

_Rating changed to T for mentions of violence and martial rape._

* * *

The day passed in a flurry of music, drinking, archery and continued loneliness. Robin hadn't paid any attention to her for the rest of the fest, aside from the apologies he made for the only good thing that had happened to Regina all day. By sunset most of Robin's men were either stupidly drunk or asleep, save a few poor souls that were tasked with keeping watch and were forbidden drinks. Regina recognized the way the alcohol had also touched her husband, but Robin seemed fairly sober compared to the other, something that Regina was infinitely thankful for. The only few drunken remarks made toward her by Robin's men told her about his 'prowess between the sheets' and that she 'would be satisfied'. The thought alone made Regina nauseous, Robin had been gentle, almost careful, with her during the wedding, but she feared a nature as savage as the forest he lived in inside his heart.

"Your majesty, would you desire to get some sleep?" Mhairi interrupted her spiral of thoughts and she smiled at the girl. Mhairi looked truly beautiful tonight, dressed in a golden dress that waved around her lithe figure like the river had danced around it that morning. Regina thought she looked more like a princess of the Sherwood forest than herself.  
"Robin will not turn to bed in a few hours, but it would do to get some sleep before he does." Mhairi explained and Regina felt a sickening twist in her stomach at the mention of what she had been dreading all day. She was old and smart enough to understand the duties and acts that came with marriage, old enough to understand that she would have no say in whatever activities were to happen that night. '_lie down and be a good little girl' _had been Cora's advice on the matter once. For a moment Regina wanted to tell Mhairi off for using her title, but she held her tongue at the hollow realization that it was all she had. She was the queen of this strange land, for all it was worth to her.  
So she nodded, walking numbly with the girl towards Robin's –_her, she reminded herself- _tent.  
It was bigger than her tent and more resembling of an actual bedroom; instead of a cramped fabric ceiling that seemed to press down upon her, the ceiling of the tent was high above her, giving her space to breathe and move around. In the middle sat a large, wooden bed with flowing golden sheets upon it. It was also the only bed in the room, Regina noted with little surprise and great dread. It was oddly warm in the tent. Mhairi explained to her that the tent was kept warm by a combination of hot coal and steam and also that Robin had insisted on warming the tent especially for her, as he himself was used to the chilly summer nights of the Sherwood forests. Other than a few chairs, cushions, some books and a finely organized collection of bows and knives, the tent was largely empty. Mhairi handed her a nightgown; a flimsy little white thing resembling of her wedding dress. Then, with a slight curtsy, the girl left the tent, leaving Regina to get dressed and go to sleep.  
All alone.

She didn't sleep too well. It was a rather cloudy day, so when night fell there was no golden moonlight to keep her awake. It was the idea that her husband could come into the tent at any given time that kept her awake. So she lied on the left side of the large bed, pressed as much to the side as she possibly could and pretended to be asleep. She closed her eyes and bit her tongue as she heard the soft footsteps of her husband entering. She had heard the stumbling of a drunken man many times before and let out a sigh of relief as he still seemed to have his footing.  
"Milady, I have a son of four years old. I know what faking sleep looks like." Robin's voice sounded soft, but with a slight air of amusement that Regina bit her lip at. She didn't want to try in front of him, didn't want to show him how terrified she really was, so she stayed silent and wished she was really asleep. She felt the bed dip as Robin sat down next to her, but to her surprise her husband didn't touch her.  
"Is something bothering you, Milady? You went to bed a couple of hours ago, I would have expected to find you well asleep by now already." He was seated at the other side of the bed, a few feet of distance still between them, but it already felt too intimate to Regina. She had only been in a setting with one other person in her life, and the memory of him twisted her gut nearly as much as the man she was with now did.  
"Is something troubling you?" Robin asked, walking over to her side of the bed and pulling a chair towards the bed for himself to sit on. Regina felt tears prickling in her eyes, but was determined not to let it show. She fought to calm her breathing, but a slight sniffle escaped her and she averted her eyes.  
"I'm sorry." She apologized, taking a ragged breath. Gathering her courage, she pushed herself up from the bed and swung her legs over the bed, baring herself slim figure to him. only covered by the flimsy white nightgown, she felt completely exposed and at the mercy of her newfound husband, but that was how it should be, she reminded herself. She forced a smile in the way her mother had thought her to, the one where she fluttered her eyebrows, the coy, flirty smile that Cora had told her moved the hearts of men. She stood up from the bed and hesitantly walked towards Robin, but he took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back to sitting on the bed as if she were a little child that had awoken before her time.  
"No." He told her and Regina immediately bit her lip. He cocked his head and gently moved a lock of dark hair away from her eyes, brushing past her cheeks still wet from tears shed earlier. "Do I scare you, Mila- Regina?" He asked softly. Regina shook her head, but knew that Robin wouldn't believe her, knew that even this strange man would be able to see the way she shook with it.  
"Regina, I will not share your bed until you want me to." Robin told her, having guessed the reason for his wife's fear a long time ago. He was no fool, he understood what was expected of them in a marriage. He also understood that forcing himself upon a girl just because she was his wife was wrong and not something he desired in the least. Regina looked up towards him with teary eyes and still tearstained cheeks.  
"No?" She asked softly, mirroring his own words earlier and Robin shook his head with a smile.  
"What if I never want you to?" Regina asked him and Robin laughed softly, his eyes crinkling with his laughter. After he caught the fear that had appeared in his wife's eyes, however, he sobered up and took her hands in reassurance.  
"Then I won't." he simply said and without speaking another word he stood up. He pressed a soft palm towards her palm. "Do try to get some sleep." He told her in a soft voice, before turning around to leave the tent.

Suddenly the loneliness seemed too much, a weight that Regina no longer could carry. So with hoarse voice she called him back;  
"Robin." She called. Her husband turned around in question at her words and Regina nervously bit her lip. "Could you just stay and … talk to me?" She asked carefully. Robin seemed surprised at her question, but smiled after a second and returned to her beside.  
"Only if you promise to try and get some sleep." He bargained with her and Regina nodded, pulling the covers back up around her small frame, letting them wrap themselves around her.  
"Can I ask you a question?" She asked timidly and Robin nodded.  
"If you will permit me to ask you a question as well." Her husband answered swiftly. The idea that Robin actually seemed interested in her was a stark contrast to the indifference he had shown towards her during the fest. She had planned on asking him another question, but suddenly she desired to know about this man more than she did anything else.  
"Why did you ignore me during the fest?" She asked him, a small hint of bitterness showing in her voice. The loneliness that had grown inside her had melded with her rage and left traces of self-loathing and bitterness inside the greaves of her heart.  
"I didn't want to intrude upon you." Robin answered her simply. "I know you did not wish to marry me, I figured you didn't want me around you, so I kept my distance." He studied her face intently, as if he could read all that his wife was from her face alone. At the sight of the loneliness in her eyes, the need to touch her welled upside him and he traced his finger over the hills and valleys of her face, as if he could read her the way a blind man a book. "Was I wrong, Milady?"  
Regina didn't answer. Didn't nod or shake her head, she just simply stared at the canvas of the tent above her, watching the shadows of trees dance far above her head.  
"I was lonely." She finally uttered, neither an answer nor an accusation, but a fact that had been a truth for far too many years. Robin didn't answer. Didn't fight her premise or apologize, simply contented himself with being a presence beside her, as if he could mend the everlasting loneliness inside her heart in one night.

It was after many a hoot of an owl and howl of a wolf that Robin finally spoke again, surprising Regina with his enduring presence.

"Will you permit me to ask a question, milady?" Robin asked her. Darkness was falling upon them rapidly as clouds covered the moon's face, making them both into shades in the dusky room. Regina nodded silently, listening to the faint sounds of nature: the brushing of leaves, the shuffling of feet, the singing of the birds of night.  
"Your mother… Did she hurt you?" Robin asked her and Regina froze momentarily at the question, before realizing that Cora wasn't here. For all the enemies that surrounded her in this strange forest, Cora wasn't one of them. She stayed silent for a very long while, listening to her own nervous breaths and his calm ones.  
"Yes." She finally answered him and she saw Robin nod solemnly beside her. Regina realized that he had probably already known the answer to the question before she had given the answer. After all, the ranger had seen Cora that same day, had seen her rage of fire and magic. It was foolish to assume that Robin didn't know exactly what was happening inside his own encampment. Yet he asked her. Perhaps he desired more detail, stories about all the ways Cora had mistreated her, all the wounds she had inflicted and the scars she had left, but Regina couldn't talk about it. Years of keeping quiet and hiding her pain had made her afraid to mention any of it. So she stayed silent and waited for her mother, Robin, for anyone to come and punish her insubordination. It was all she had known to expect.

"How old are you?" Robin didn't scold her for her silence, neither did Cora hurt and harm her for her talking. Instead her husband asked another question, one that carried less pain and agony with it, but still weighed down heavily upon her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes. She would have shrugged if she could, because what it really matter how old she was? She was old enough to carry children and that was old enough according to Cora. Her mother had stopped marking and celebrating her birthdays after she had turned four. She and her father would be left to have little celebrations in secret each year. He stopped with them after her thirteenth birthday. She had despised the day every day since then, and that was the only reason why she had remembered, the only reason why she could answer the question that a boy Roland's age would be able to answer with pride.  
"Seventeen." She answered numbly, keeping her gaze focused on the tent above her. She didn't need to see his expression; whether it was one of disappointment, of pity or maybe even of glee. She didn't care, the numbers had stopped meaning something to her a very long time ago.  
"I'm sorry." Robin simply said.  
Regina rolled her eyes. She had known enough empty pity in her life to disregard it altogether. Her father had pitied her, had watched with weary eyes as her mother used magic and fist upon her. Her father had heard the words her mother had screamed towards her, but couldn't even find the courage to tell her mother that a daughter shouldn't be called 'worthless' by her mother. The maids in her house had heard her crying alone in her bedroom, they had given her pitiful looks, sometimes even snuck tea or cake to cheer her up, but for all their pity, none of them ever stood up to Cora. And now this man gave his empty pity to her, taking her away from her life and apologizing for taking it away. Regina didn't desire his pity. If pity had ever gotten her anything, perhaps she would have been happy.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to intrude." Regina didn't know if Robin understood why she had frozen herself in silence, or if he simply thought that she was offended because he had asked her age. She didn't care that much, either. For a second, when he asked her about Cora, she had thought that perhaps, just maybe, this strange ranger would be different: perhaps he wouldn't just apologize and watch the world beat her down afterwards again, perhaps he would draw his bow and drive the world back from her, for once. Now she figured he wasn't; he was perhaps not the savage she had taken him for, but he wasn't going to fight the world for her. Nobody ever had.  
"I'll be leaving." Robin whispered, standing up from the chair and softly moving it away from the bed, placing it back in its place as if it were never there. Regina briefly wondered where Robin would sleep in her absence, but she figured that he would find a tent to sleep, perhaps another woman he knew better and would love more to keep him company. Roland had talked about his mother, a woman that Robin had loved and married. She pulled the covers up towards her sheet and watched Robin disappear from the tent. She called after him, almost on a whisper, half expecting, half hoping he wouldn't hear.

He did.  
"What is it, Milady?"  
"Roland's mother. What happened to her?" Regina asked. She saw the sadness fall upon Robin's face in an instant. His face was barely illuminated by the faint lights around the camp, but Regina had seen people drawing up guard in their eyes often enough to know what it looked like. Robin shook his head, but Regina had already glimpsed the pain in his eyes. When Robin finally returned his gaze to her, his eyes were hard, emotionless, guarded. It would have thrown her off, had she not seen it in her own eyes often enough.  
"She died." Robin answered her and he left it at that. Without speaking another word he walked out of the tent.

"Did you love her?" Regina asked. Causing Robin to freeze his step. For a long while he stood in the opening of the tent, his back turned towards her. The only sounds between them were the sounds of the forest, the haunting singing of the trees moved by the soft breeze. Robin's men had finally fallen silent and if Regina closed her eyes, she could have pretended that none of them were here. That she was back in her room, instead of in this strange land, in this strange tent, asking questions to this strange man.  
But she wasn't. And finally Robin answered her, his voice nearly a whisper; broken and firm at the same time. He didn't look at her, didn't smile or shrug or even nod. The just stood motionless as he answered the question that Regina already knew the answer to.

"Yes."

He walked away from her, leaving her alone in the darkness with only her thoughts and fears to keep her company.  
She didn't sleep that night; She cried. She cried for the love that she lost, for the woman that Robin had loved, for the mother Roland grew up without. She cried for the love she never got from her mother, for the love her father was afraid to give. But most of all she cried at the cruelty of the gods, who most of all seemed unable to love their own creation. She had stopped praying to the gods a long time ago. If they could hear her, they had never changed anything.

And she didn't need their pity, either.

* * *

_AN:_ _It's my headcanon that the enchanted forest is mostly a polytheistic society and that Regina was raised with that in mind, but lost respect for the gods during many years of hardship. Since it's really hard to disregard my headcanons while writing, I just included them. As always, please rate and review._


	5. Chapter 5

_This chapter turned out very different from what I planned and definitely a lot more romantic. I wanted to include a lot of other scenes, but the one got a bit out of hand, so the scenes that I was planning will have to wait for the next chapter. Anway, your reviews are wonderful and they really keep me writing, enjoy the chapter ^_^._

* * *

She woke up to the shouts of Robin's men. The rustling of their leather boots on the forest floor, their rumbling laughs and the music of their bows and arrows drew Regina back from the land of haunting dreams, to her equally haunting reality. She gazed around her tent for a chamber pot hidden somewhere, praying that she wouldn't have to squat in the forest surrounded by hundreds of man and numerous women that might to her as well be men too. As she stepped out of bed the cool forest air pricked her bare skin, the light material of her nightgown barely protecting her against the cold at all. She padded through the tent and sighed in relief when she found a simple wooden chamber pot hidden behind an elaborately carved screen. The chamber pot, cut from the wood of black trees that populated the forest, looked unused to her. Either it was made especially for her or Robin had chosen not to use the contraption himself. Whatever the case was, she was grateful she didn't have to do such a private affair within the forest of a thousand watching eyes.

After she had brushed her hair, dressed herself and otherwise prepared herself to set foot outside the relative safety of her tent, she looked at herself in the mirror that had been placed in her tent. She had not seen many mirrors around camp and hers seemed to be one of the few ones around. The mirror had been a bridal gift to her and Regina suspected that Robin's men had traveled the long distance to the neighboring kingdom to acquire it. It was a beautiful mirror, but with its light wood and silver decorations it stood out like a stain of ink upon a carefully choreographed composition of gold and black. Still, Regina was glad to have the mirror as she inspected herself and carefully braided her hair back. She had quickly learnt that while Robin seemed to love her hair when it was loose, it was most impractical while living in a forest. She had picked one of the more practical outfits that Mhairi had laid out for her, but had purposely shied away from the study, almost leathery dark outfit that the girl had laid out as one of her options. Instead she had chosen an outfit resembling her old riding clothes, but instead of light blue the fabric was a chestnut color and there were no buttons, instead a leather belt and laces kept the jacket firmly around her body. She had opted for dark, light breeches that were surprisingly comfortable and short brown boots. She nervously bit her lip; while she definitely still looked respectable and well dressed, her mother would never approve of her clothing, especially not since she was a queen now. Regina nervously eyed the other options that Mhairi had laid out for her and her eyes fell on a dress her mother would approve of more: it was as dark as the trees of the forest itself and looked like it would hug and fit around every curve of her young body. It was a beautiful dress and it would probably make her look years older than she actually was, but she shuddered at the sight of the corset, knowing the way the dark fabric would wrap itself around her and swallow her whole. She tore her eyes away from the dress and decided that Cora wasn't around to judge her choices and that Robin probably wouldn't care either way.

"Milady." She knew it was Robin who greeted her, recognizing him by the title he used rather than by the sound of his voice, and forced a smile at him. She nervously looked around the camp, finding it already busy with Robin's men, the air full with work and activities. How drunken and uncoordinated Robin's men had been the night before, how precise and efficient were they now. She could see the effects of the alcohol linger on some of Robin's men, but even they worked as hard as their wiser witted companions. On occasion one of Robin's men would give a bow at her or mumble 'your majesty' at her passing, but for the most of them they only greeted their king and ignored their queen.  
"I hope you had a good night's rest, my men can be quite vocal at times. My apologies." Robin told her, handing her a dark wooden bowl filled with something that resembled a soup and a piece of dark bread so filled with nuts that it was hard to discern what had once been dough. "I have already broken fast this morning with Roland, the boy is a light sleeper I'm afraid." He smiled at her and Regina forced herself to smile back. She didn't desire to share her breakfast with this man, but the complete disregard with which he had started his day without her mildly disturbed her. The camp had woken up long before her and had not once desired it's queen. It made sense, but it also made the voices in her head tell her stories that she did not wish to hear or believe. It was, she mulled, taking a sip of the nearly cold soup, the fact that the men In the camp desired her around as little as she herself wished to be. Still, she was here and both herself and the men were going to have to deal with it. She straightened her shoulders and walked towards the fireplace were some of Robin's men were seated. The fire had obviously been burning earlier, carrying the men unlucky enough to be charged with keeping watch through the chilly night, but had been reduced to slumbering coals serval hours ago. She moved to sit on one of the dark logs that had been carved out to serve as a bench, it was crudely cut and would look like nothing more to an oddly shapen log to any stranger, but it served it's purpose just fine. Regina seated herself upon the bench with as much determination and elegance as she could muster. Robin's men nodded at her and she heard a few mumbled 'your majesty's. A younger man with red golden hair and a crudely shapen tunic snickered at her, but was quickly motioned into silence by his older companion. Regina ignored the strange men and instead focused upon the bread; hard, tough and cracking her teeth at she ate. As she tasted the nutty, near sandy taste of the bread she remembered the breakfasts the kitchen staff used to prepare for her back home: light, white buns with sweets like honey or marmalade, topped with and clotted cream, tars and pies with apple or cherry, fresh from the oven, all of it served with sweetened tea. When she was served soup it wasn't like this: not filled with so many pieces of crudely cut meat and mushrooms as to hide the actual existence of the soup itself, but a gentle, soft, thick cup of a hot brew that tasted like mushrooms and clean cut herbs. Still, hunger numbed her tongue and she ate the soup and bread with a vigor that her mother would be appalled at. It was surely a more efficient meal than the cakes and buns she used to eat at home, filling her up with only one piece of bread and a bowl of soup.

* * *

After she had finished her breakfast she watched Robin's men practice for a while. They played their bows like the fine musicians that she used to love at the market played their instruments. The strings of their bows sung with every arrow fired and the younger men cheered as one found its target, while the older ones mainly grumbled at the brashness of the youth. She had heard birds in the early hours of the morning and late at night, but no bird dared to wander close to the camp while it was busting with the archers and hunters, so the only songs she heard was that of men and bows and the children that would sometimes wander dangerously close to the practice targets.  
After watching the archers for nearly half an hour, Regina felt the bustle of the camp press down upon her, as if the air itself in the camp was harder to breathe with every one of Robin's men that strided past her. She had been lonely near her entire life and even now, surrounded by men, she was still miserably alone. Yet she longed for the true loneliness of the forest, with no one to watch or judge or pity. She glanced around, but Robin was nowhere to be found, so she stood up and made her way towards the path where she and Mhairi had been walking yesterday. There would probably be people walking the path towards the river too, but she was not foolish enough to wander away from the paths. With every step away from the camp the sounds of Robin's men dissipated and when she could hear the first note of a birdsong she allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy the silence of the forest. As she followed the path further, she heard the sounds of Robin's men once again, this time taking the form of thundering laughs. Robin's men were washing themselves in the river, but as gruff and stern as they had seemed around her in the camp, as youthful and brash they were now, enjoying the cold of the river that Regina had thought earlier would freeze her arms off her body. She was too far away from the river for the men to spot her and she did not desire them to either. For a moment she hesitated, but then decided that Robin's men were watching everywhere in the forest and that she'd be fine as long as she stayed on the paths. So instead of walking towards the river, she took the path that led her deeper into the golden realm of the forest.

The shouts and laughs of Robin's men were left behind her quickly and soon even the rusting of the river died down to the sound of a morning drizzle. Away from the richness of the river the forest was less dense; an undergrowth of dark grass mixed with golden flowers dominating underneath the golden treetops. She noticed she was going uphill, feeling the strain starting to creep upon her ankles and legs, but that would only make the trip back that much easier. She dimly registered that with the diminishing presence of trees Robin's men would be easier to spot and that she hadn't seen any of them for a long while, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She had been living in such a constant state of fear and anxiety the past few days that it had all somehow waned and turned into an abyss of indifference.

"Milady!" She jumped up at the familiar sound of a voice behind her. Though she had been indifferent to the dangers that the forest could pose before, the voice of her husband still startled her as if he was the wolf, come to take the girl that fearlessly wandered from the paths. She turned around, surprised to feel annoyance at her new husband. Robin hardly seemed to notice her expression, instead striding towards her with large, silent steps.  
"My men told me they saw you enter the forests alone. These are dangerous forests to brave alone."  
"I am not afraid." Regina snapped at him, sounding more brave than she felt in her heart. She wanted to tell him how she didn't need or desire his help, but behind him the path twisted and turned and suddenly Regina was not sure she would find the path back. She had just kept walking and walking before, never noticing the exact road she took. Suddenly the bravery left her heart and the numb indifference broke, making room for the fear that seemed as fresh as the first day it had sprouted. "Sorry." She added, wrapping her arms around herself as to protect herself from any harm that would be thrown her way. Robin chuckled softly and shook his head, undoubtedly at the stubborn nature that he was just now discovering his new wife possessed underneath the layer of an insecure and scared little girl.  
"Don't be, running away is understandable. I have had to retrieve Roland from these woods many times before."  
Regina raised her eyebrows, finding it in herself to carefully joke with this man. She had loved to tease and joke with her maidservants when she was younger and had always been a sharp-witted girl. "You're comparing me to your four year old son?"  
"I suppose I am." She had expected him to apologize, as he often did, but he just grinned at her with twinkling eyes and raised eyebrows. Regina couldn't stop a small chuckle and turned around, gesturing to the road in front of her.  
"I just wanted to see what I am …" She paused, willing herself to believe the words. "Queen of."  
Robin nodded in understanding. "That makes sense Milady. Nonetheless, these woods are dangerous even to those who know them well. She is as savage as she is beautiful, as much a trickster as she is a lover." He walked to one of the nearby bushes and took a handful of shiny purple berries.  
"These are Nightwish berries. They look exactly the berries you may know, the royals of your lands like to use them to sweeten their cakes. One bite of these berries, however, will fell a grown man."  
Regina stepped back from the bush, as if simply being near the berries posed a danger to her. She eyed the berried with a mix of curiosity and fear. "Why are they called Nightwish?"  
"It is said those who eat them have the most wonderful dreams before they die, in which all their wishes are fulfilled. Mothers used to feed them to their children instead of sending them to fight in the ogres wars."  
"That's horrible!" Regina gasped, her eyes widening at the idea of a mother feeding her own children such a potent poison, maybe even masked in a treat as not to disturb the child. Robin shrugged and sighed, opening his hand and letting the berries fall down to the forest floor one by one.  
"So is dying in a war. If death is a guarantee, better let it be a peaceful one."

He eyed the berries with a look that Regina couldn't place, before suddenly putting his foot down upon them, making the purple orbs splatter under his boots into a light purple stain, nearly invisible upon the dark grass.  
"Point being, this forest is full of dangers." Robin said, seemingly distracted by the berries for a second, before he turned towards her again and gave her a small smile. "With a guide, however, you will be fine." He held out his hand and Regina smiled back at him shyly, taking his hand, allowing her new husband to lead her though the unknown depth of the forest.

Their trip continued uphill, with Robin pointing out the species of tree and bush and flower that they came across. He told her which berries she could eat and which to stay away from. When they heard birds singing he taught her the name of the bird and how to sing back to them. When Regina looked at him she saw how the man belonged in the forest, how his very nature was intertwined with the forest he had described as a trickster and a lover. While she stumbled his feet caressed the earth underneath, barely making a sound as his feet glided over the forest floor like fingers upon a lover's skin. He had one true love, Regina realized, and that was the forest. Regina felt almost as she was intruding upon a private moment with her tripping and her trampling of flowers that he carefully avoided. Yet for the first time Regina saw the man behind the stranger that she had married: the gentle man that loved with a passion and lived with the fervor of the wild.  
Regina soon felt fatigue overtake her body, felt the stain that had lain itself upon her ankles earlier turn into a stinging pain. Her body complained against the heavy load of work that it suddenly had to carry. Robin seemed to notice her trouble and slowed down, taking her hand in his he pointed towards the top of the hill that was appearing in sight.  
"Just a little farther, milady." Robin encouraged her. "I promise you it will be worth it."

And it was. She reached the hilltop with every fiber of her body burning, but it was worth every painful step she had taken to get there. Standing upon the hill they left the golden treetops and blackened grass of the Sherwood Forest behind them and instead gazed upon a landscape that was both wilder and infinitely more beautiful: hundreds of meters below them a river with the clearest water Regina had ever seen had cut itself through the blackened rocks, meandering through the landscape that had formed itself around it. Water crashed against the rocks and glittered in the sunlight, a seeming dance of water and fire existing far beneath their feet. Thousands of white birds had made their homes upon the sharp, black cliffs above the river where no predator would dare to set foot. The grass was as golden as in the forest, but grew much higher. Regina suspected it would reach towards at least her knees if she were to walk through it. Through a gap between two mountains topped with black, Regina could see the sea in the far distance and the river crashing towards it. It was clear that no man had or would ever set foot in this landscape, this place where mankind had not reached, had never even cut a single tree down. Nature had been left undisturbed here for thousands of years and the result was breathtaking.  
"Wow." Regina stood in awe of the unknown beauty of the land. She had grown up in the clean cut castle gardens and seldom wandered off towards the wildness of the forest, but the enchanted forest did not compare to this. Even the imposing gold trees of the Sherwood forest seemed dull and bleak in comparison to the play of nature that took place below them.  
"Can you feel it in the air?" Robin asked her, seemingly still in awe of the beauty of the place, even after having lived in the forest for over three decennia. He stretched his hands out and Regina didn't just feel it, she _saw _it: the golden speckles dancing around him, like dust in sunlight. She felt it too, first upon her hands: a mother's caress that travelled up to her arms and seemed to touch her heart with gentle fingers.  
"Magic runs free here." Robin explained to her. Regina stood in awe as she watched the tiny particles of magic twist and turn around her as if it was a living, breathing thing that dared her to come and play. She had never seen or felt magic like this. Magic had always been about control and fear and power for her. It had been her mother's way of punishing her, of ensuring her obedience. Once she had stolen her mother's book while she was sleeping and had gazed at the strange figures in the book, had looked at strange words that didn't mean anything to her and frowned at names that were unfamiliar to her. She had also felt it then, holding that book in her hands, but the magic had not been warm and gentle, it had been burning and harsh. It had been anger and passion and it had terrified her. She had put the book back and hoped to never, ever, feel the touch of magic again in her life. But this magic, this pure magic encompassed her, made her feel safe and above all; _loved_.  
"Nobody knows why it's so powerful here. There are stories. Some say a god fell in love with a girl that used to live in the Sherwood forest. The Sherwood Forest, dense as they are, made it not possible for the god to see her. So to lure her out he created a landscape as beautiful as the girl to bring her out. She came indeed, but she rejected his advances and his love. His hurt and anger turned the land savage and in his wrath he made it impossible for humans to populate it. Forever teasing them with its beauty as the girl had teased him."  
"Have you ever tried to set foot there?" Regina asked and Robin shook his head.  
"No, whether the story is of truth or not is a question that no man can answer, but that land has been undisturbed by human touch for centuries and it should stay that way."  
Regina nodded, understanding what Robin meant more than ever now that she gazed upon the landscape and felt the magic on her skin. This magic, untouched by humans, was good and harmless and kind and gentle. She had seen how magic had corrupted her mother, or perhaps how her mother had corrupted magic itself. Suddenly she understood the trust Robin put in her, showing her the hidden beauty of the land that lay behind the dense protection of the Sherwood forest.  
"There is a lot of gold and silver hidden within the forest, but this is the true treasure of the Sherwood forest." Robin told her and Regina understood. Smiling she put her hand upon Robin's arm and squeezed it almost without thinking.  
"Thank you for showing me."

Robin just smiled back at her, softly stroking back a long black hair. His fingers lingered upon her face for just a second before he pointed at a flock of white doves that flew past them. The doves were gone before they had really appeared, but filled the skies around them with white feathers that softly swirled to the ground beneath their feet. Regina didn't notice it until the feeling suddenly filled her heart with such a strength that it might as well have been magic, but for the first time in many lonely years, she felt safe.


	6. Chapter 6

The trip back was much easier, not only did the road take them downhill, but Regina also felt refreshed; as if he magic had been a balm for her strained muscles and a soothing aid for the blisters upon her feet. It was a strange feeling, to be healed by magic instead of harmed by it, but she embraced she warm feeling that still made her fingers tingle with every beat of her heart. Robin led them back, now barely talking to her as he lead her by the hand through the forests. His hand was only softly wrapped around hers and she could easily pull her hand back, as she would have done days earlier, but to her own surprise she didn't feel the urge to take away his hold on her. Instead she allowed herself to be led by him, allowed herself to feel safe in his care. Often times she would find herself sneaking glances at him as he concentrated on leading her though the forest. He knew the forest like he knew a lover, but was always wary, expecting her to cheat on him with every step he took. He never allowed himself to relax, his guard always drawn, seeing everything while he himself avoided to be seen; both prey and predator at the same time.  
She startled when suddenly Robin stopped and stretched his arm out to push her behind him, the way a father would protect his child. He had heard the faint rusting in the bushes far before she had and stood motionless as he watched the bushes dance and crack as they were invaded by the intruder. Regina stood as motionless as Robin, not daring to move. She could feel her heart beating wildly against her chest and felt it lodged up her throat at the same time. After a few terrifying seconds, though it could have been half an hour for all Regina felt, a large imposing buck emerged from the bushes a dozen meters away from them. Regina sighed in relief at the sight of the relatively harmless animal. The buck was truly a beautiful animal and now that Regina no longer feared being eaten alive by some unknown monster of the Sherwood forest, she allowed herself to admire its beauty. The buck moved with a grace like the forest itself and calmly crossed the road ahead of them, obviously not having noticed the pair of travelers in the forest.  
Suddenly the buck reared its head and gazed right at them for a second. Everything went almost too fast for Regina to comprehend afterwards: she hardly saw Robin draw the arrow or even fire his bow, but seconds later the buck fell down to the forest floor. The animal quickly reared its head and crawled up, but another arrow seared through the sky and pinned the buck to the ground once again. Then there was Robin, racing past her as if he were a predator hunting his prey. Within no more than five seconds he had reached the buck, still struggling to hang onto its life, and had ended the animal's struggle with a sure and steady cut of his knife. Regina stood nailed to the ground, unable to comprehend the way this man had turned from the gentle man into a predator within under a minute. Robin seemed unaware of her state of shock, instead skinning and gutting the freshly killed buck with expert precision. He worked with meticulous precision, every cut of his knife perfectly placed and thought out. It made Regina feel sick, made the soft feeling that had fallen over her fall away from her, made the old anxiety take up home in her heart again. She turned around, breathing heavily, wide eyed and panicked as if she were at a crime scene. She had not been a fool, she knew that the meat served in the castle came from animals that had once been alive. She had seen men going out to the forest to hunt. She had been terrified of them as a little girl: the way they laughed with booze heavy throats and boasted of bloody kills. The scent of death would hang around the hunters after they returned and Regina would shy away from them, as if death itself somehow lingered upon them.

"Apologies milady, but I have near two hundred men to feed. To let such an opportunity pass would be to disgrace the generosity of the gods." Robin walked up to her, carrying the freshly killed buck with him. Regina tried to look away from the animal, but its dead eyes seemed to gaze into hers, almost accusing her as if she had killed the animal herself. She had to take a deep breath not to throw up at the sight. Robin frowned at her for a long while before he seemed to pick up on her disturbance. His eyed widened in understanding and for a second he seemed at a loss what to do, not willing to leave the deer for predators of the wild to take it, but also not willing to upset his wife more with the sight of it. The bewildered look on the ranger's face would perhaps have been amusing if Regina hadn't been so appalled and shocked by the dead dear he carried around his shoulders. Taking a deep breath she averted her eyes from the deer and marched away from him, forcing herself to act like the queen she was. It did not do to weep over the fate of dead deer. The world had always been a harsh place and she was a little girl no longer.  
"Let's go to the river, I want to bathe myself." She told him, trying to sound as commanding as she could muster. Robin followed her without a word, both dazed and amazed by his wife's sudden turnaround.

* * *

"Men, clear out. The lady wants to bathe." Robin commanded, startling Regina, as they reached the river. Serval of Robin's men laughed and commented on how they 'wouldn't mind the lady joining them' but one of Robin's stern gazes shut the men up fast.  
"I did your job for you." Robin snapped at them, obviously annoyed at the lack of respect his men seemed to have for his wife. The men quickly took the dear from Robin and exited without even a glance at Regina. The river that had previously been filled with shouts and laughs of men, was now only populated by the sounds of the river and the soft rustling of leaves in the wind.  
"Apologies, my men like to call themselves wolves, but I rather believe them to be pigs sometimes." Robin told her, earning a small smile from Regina that didn't quite reach her eyes. Robin sighed seeing the still disturbed look in her eyes and reached out to her, before he realized that his hands were still covered in evidence of the very act that his wife had been appalled at. Instead he walked to the river and allowed the clear water to clean his hands of the blood that was already drying upon his skin.  
"I hope I didn't upset you, Milady, that was thoughtless of me." He apologized, gauging her reaction and getting nothing. He prided himself on being an excellent reader of human beings, but it seems with Regina he could only read the pages she allowed him to. Oddly, it made him want to read the girl's story more, made him want to slowly open the pages that she had glued together and find the story behind the girl with the scared eyes.  
Regina cleared her throat, walking up to the river herself and looking at her reflection. "I feel dirty." She plainly told him. She did, it was as if she felt death itself linger upon her as it had lingered upon the hunters many years ago. She felt as if blood had gathered upon her hands as it had on Robin's, as if she had to wash off the scent of death. Robin didn't answer her, only nodded slowly.  
"Then you might need this, Milady." He procured an knife-like item from his pocked and handed it to her. It was indeed a blunt knife, small and slim enough to fit comfortably in the palm of her hand and looked like it was completely cut out of bone. A tiny but detailed carving was embedded in the hilt of the knife. It was a woman standing upon a hill, gazing down to a land that stretched around the girth of the knife. The carving was too small to actually make the figurine truly recognizable, but Regina did not doubt that this figure in the carving was indeed intended to be her. The knife was blunt and looked like it was hardly fit to cut through anything, but Regina still marveled at the sheer magnificence and handiwork.  
"It is tradition for a husband to grant his wife a bathing knife." Robin told her, smiling at seeing his wife in awe over the knife. "The husband has to make the knife himself, carved from the bones of a prey he hunted down himself. It is not only to show that he is a proficient hunter, but also that he will use those skills to take care of his wife." He explained to her, carefully gauging her reaction as he knew that Regina would be quick to comprehend the meaning behind the knife.  
"The buck you killed earlier. You cut the knife from its bones didn't you?"  
"The antlers, but yes, Milady."

Regina stared at the knife for a long while, trailing her fingers over the finely worked and polished bone. He was truly a craftsmen, having carved the bone witch such precision in such a short while. Somehow she felt that it should disturb her even more to carry a piece of the death her husband had inflicted upon an innocent creature with her, but she found that, in fact, made Robin's act much easier to accept. It was the beauty that Robin had created out of something as horrible as death that seemed to soothe her soul and calm her heart. While it still shocked her, she found that she understood; Robin was an honest man. He looked death in the face and inflicted it himself instead of sending of others to kill for him. The thought formed itself in her head that the deer had been lucky to be killed by a man such as him, as strange as that seemed.  
"Thank you." She simply answered, but Robin's smile couldn't have been brighter.

"It's a good tradition." She told him, turning the knife around in her hand and stroking the polished bone against her skin.  
"We have a lot of traditions, some better than others."  
"Mhairi told me about a … bathing tradition." Regina asked hesitant, remembering the fear that the story had brought to her when she'd first heard it. Robin nodded, understanding what his wife was referring to and gently closed Regina's hand around the hilt of the blunt knife.  
"Yes, it is tradition for a husband and wife to profess their trust in each other by sharing their first bath. It shows that both understand that the marriage is about caring rather than about physical lust and pleasure." He smiled gazed at the river, a faraway look appearing in his eyes. "It's a good tradition." He mirrored her words and Regina nodded, slowly she started pulling at the laces that held the leather jacket closed, but before the fabric could fall down her shoulders and bare the soft fabric of a ruffled white shirt to him, his hands stopped her. The faraway look in his eyes had disappeared and a look, almost terrifying in its seriousness had appeared.  
"But the best tradition we have is that we marry for love. I will not force any traditions upon you, since we have already forsaken the one most important one." He was deadly serious, his voice grave and heavy, his eyes speckled with guilt and mourning for loves long gone. Regina opened her mouth to answer him, but words left her when she met the look on his face. The look in his eyes was one she hadn't seen in anyone since the fateful day that Daniel had been taken from her. It was not love, nor did she desire it to be, but it was caring that she read in his eyes. Caring in the way he held her hand to stop her from baring herself to him. He did not love her, she knew, he loved the ghost of a wife that had been taken from him like she loved Daniel's, but he cared for her. That knowledge made her push his hand away and let the jacket fall from her shoulders to the forest floor.  
"Milady, you don't …" Robin tried to halt her, but she ignored him. Without answering him she took off her boots and trousers, leaving her bare in front of him in only her camisole. She stopped there, she did not desire his love or his lust, she simply yearned for his caring. She then walked towards the river with careful steps and submerged herself in the ice cold water. She shuddered at the cold, but did not give in to it. She closed her eyes, back still turned towards him and awaited his reaction.

It took him a long time to join her. Only after her body had long since gone numb with cold, she felt his warm touch on her shoulder. She moved to turn around, but Robin forced her to stay with her back towards him. He trailed his hands over her arms and shoulders with the most delicate of touches, never travelling over or under the parts of her body protected by the thin, white material. Slowly he moved his hands down to her hands and took the knife he had carved for her himself in his hands. Regina then felt his strong hands upon her shoulders and arms with more determination, feeling him rub the mixture of oil and salt upon her skin. It had warmed between his hands and she sighed at the contrast of the warmth against the freezing cold of the river. He was gentle with the knife against her skin, taking care to avoid the many places where the forest had marked her arms with angry wounds. She could feel him halting sometimes when he trailed his fingers over a scar; some had been left by Cora in the days before she began using magic, some had been left by better memories of horses and childhood games. He did not ask about the stories for either, instead caressing the freak parts of skin with a gentle touch. When he turned her around she was surprised to find him completely clothed, the fabric of his tunic plastered to the contours of his body. He did not move his hands towards her front of move to take off her camisole, instead moving his fingers through her hair, taking out branches and leaves that the forest had stuck in them. He freed her hair from the braid and brushed his hands through her dark locks, carefully working out the knots that had formed in the. Cora had done much the same in earlier years, but she had never been gentle or patient, instead combing through the wild, thick curls with annoyance. Robin was gentle, careful not to hurt her and continued until her hair fell loose over her shoulders. Then he softly traced his fingers over her face, his finger lingering for a second over the scar on her upper lip. She had always hated it, the only scar that Cora had not magicked away as a warning to her. She saw the question in Robin's eyes, but could not open her mouth to give him answer. She bit her lip and flicked her eyes downwards, watching her own fingers softly caress the surface of the river, before returning her gaze towards his. He nodded solemnly, understanding the story without her ever telling it.  
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, brushing the dark hair away from her face and searching her eyes for something, but she could not imagine what. One of his hands moved towards the chord around her neck, found the crude ring attached to it that she always kept close to her heart. He traced the contours of the ring, meeting her eyes once again. "I truly am."  
Regina smiled softly at him, feeling tears stinging in the back of her eyes as she took his hand, trailing her fingers over the ring he himself wore on his finger. He had not given her a ring in their marriage, but the look on Robin's face told her the story behind the ring he wore. She had read it before, because it was her own reflected back at her, she knew it well.  
"It's okay." She whispered, slowly reaching out to trace her fingers over his face much like he had done with her. She felt tears trickle down her own cheeks as her fingers felt wetness on his cheeks. "It's going to be okay." She promised and for once in her life she believed it.

* * *

**I will probably shake things up a bit in a chapter or two, so for now enjoy some fluffy bits. As always please tell me what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

Things got better after that day. She no longer startled every time one of Robin's men would laugh or shout, she didn't live in constant fear or her husband and she no longer counted the days since she had been given so freely to a strange man. Her nights were still bad; sometimes Robin would sit by her bed for hours before sleep finally swept her away from him. He would tell her stories; sometimes true stories, more often legends of the Sherwood forest. He told her the story of the woodcutter that tried to cut down the tree of the gods and was turned into wood himself, the story of the first men of the Sherwood forest: Thieves that hid in the dense forest where the soldiers dared not enter. He also told her about himself; the first time he fired a bow, the first time he killed a deer, the joy he felt when Robin was born, the panic when the boy had wandered off the first time. He never told her about Marian and she never dared to ask. She could tell when he thought of her, however, saw the shade appearing in his eyes when his name laid upon his lips unspoken. She in return told him stories about herself, but she never told him about she scar on her lip and how she got it, never about her mother, about the magic or about Daniel or the many others things she lost. They guarded both their hearts deep inside their chest, talking the words that rolled easily off their tongues but lifted no weight of their deeply sunken hearts. Two weeks went by and slowly the role of queen became an easier one to carry; the men did no longer leer at her as if she was she was for them to lay with, did no longer chuckle when she asked them to do something and would not speak only to Robin when they were together as if she was not around. Robin never forced anything, never touched her unless she allowed him to and she found herself getting more comfortable with him touching her with every day. Robin taught Regina how to clean herself using the knife, but the both of them had somehow come to the silent agreement that following the bathing traditions of old were important, or that's what Regina told herself. Truth was that the silent moments in the river with Robin had grown to be immensely important to her. Robin never removed his clothing and she had never bared more to him than she had the first time, but the moment had grown to be a strangely intimate ritual over the course of nearly two weeks. He still hadn't shared her bed, but sometimes she would wake up to find him sleeping in the chair next to her. There were times he would go off on a hunt with his men and he did not return to her side before she went to sleep. She would worry those nights and sleep would be hard to find. Roland had come to her tent one of those nights, worrying as his father just as she had. The boy had crawled into her lap and finally both of them had fallen asleep; Roland curled up in her lap, Regina still half-sitting against the board. She had woken up when he had entered the tent later that evening, his gaze on her so intense that she could feel it burning upon her skin, creeping through it and leaving a scorching warmth behind in her heart. Since then it had become an unspoken tradition for the littlest of Robin's men to crawl into the bed with her when his father was not there to put him to bed. Regina scarcely felt as safe as when the little boy rested against her, sometimes she would sit on the bed for hours, just watching his face and allowing her mind to wander about things that could have been a long time ago.

Roland was not with her tonight, but neither was Robin. For the first time in a long while she was truly alone in the tent again. It was as she had been for many years, but she had gotten used to the two men by her bedside with terrifying speed and found that sleeping without a presence next to her had become nearly impossible. She had not seen Robin all day, which was not unusual, but he usually would tell her where he was going. She found herself worried about him, she felt anxious to hold Roland and stroke his hair and fall asleep with him in her arms. Roland as absent as his father, however, and a sickening worry bubbled upside her heart. A voice deep inside told her that the cost of happiness had always been and would always be heartbreak and inevitable betrayal for her, but she did not allow herself to listen. She closed her eyes and willed for sleep to come, telling herself that tomorrow Robin and Roland would be by her bedside, greeting her with smiles and dimples as she woke up.

"Your majesty!" She nearly shot two feet upwards from the bed at the sudden shout as the ranger came running into her room. It was the ranger with the red hair that had laughed at her earlier. She had come to know him as Devin and he had grown to respect her at least slightly as his queen over the course of the last near two weeks. The usually cocky, easy-going and slightly brash youngster had a look of fear and anguish on his face as he ran to her bedside, wide-eyed. "You have to come quickly!" he yelped at her, panicking and seemingly forgetting that he was talking to a queen. Regina did not mind in the least, she had scarcely seen such a look of fear on any of Robin's men, so what caused it must've have been far more important than correct titles and respect. Regina quickly jumped from her bed and had the sanity of mind to grab a thick, black cloak to wrap around her lithe body. Night had already fallen outside and the darkness had turned a bitter cold. Quickly slipping in the comfortable slippers she had taken with her from the palace that had once been home, she followed the panicked ranger through the encampment. She had come to know the encampment fairly well over the course of the past few weeks, but in the dark the tents all seemed the same to her. She had trouble navigating through the maze of tents with Robin's men running around frantically and screaming things she could not comprehend. Regina could almost taste the fear and panic in the air and her first response was to look around for Robin, to run towards him and let him fight off the danger as he had done times before. But Robin was nowhere to be seen and she did not dare to look for him, instead following Devin who waded with his arms and screamed angrily at the others to let them through. Finally after what seemed like hours of wading through the impenetrable darkness she reached their destination, the bright lights of the tent nearly blinding her as she entered.

And she wished they had, for the sight inside made her tremble with every inch of her body: Robin was lain stretched out on a bed, as pale as the moonlight itself. His hands were clutched tightly around the bedding around him. He gasped with every breath and his body shocked with every heartbeat, as if life itself was being wrung out of him. His eyes were wide open, but stared to the ceiling of the tent with unseeing eyes. He was completely silent, not a single moan of pain or even a scream escaping from his lips, just his gasps and the jerking of his body on the bed. Regina stood shocked, not able to move a single muscle, not even able to breathe herself as the air grew thick around her. Robin's men screamed around her in confusion, desperately trying to figure out what kind of disease their leader had caught. Regina did not listen to them, she did not need to, because she knew what was happening to her husband. She knew because she had seen it before; it was exactly like it had been with Daniel, all those years ago in those stables when her heart had still been hopeful and unbroken.  
"No." She whispered, her voice broken as she stepped towards him. The urge to scream and cry wrought itself in her heart, but she did neither. It had not helped the last time and it would not help this time. "No please, not again." She whispered, walking to his bedside and taking his face between her hands, willing his eyes to see her. She trembled as tears fell freely upon his face. The foolish notion of leaning in and kissing him dawned upon her, but she suppressed it. It would not work, just like last time. Her hands trembled as they moved to his chest, desperate to feel the beating of his heart under her fingers. Beat it did, but strained, as if every heartbeat was an effort for his body. She dug her nails into his skin, anger filling her and drawing more tears from her eyes. Her mother had cost her one love and one possibility for it and she would not lose Robin to her, she would not allow her mother that pleasure. She pulled away from him and turned around with a fire that she had not felt inside her heart for a very long time. Devin jumped back as he took in the burning fury in her eyes and with a glare Regina ordered the men to leave the tent.

"Rumplestiltskin!" She screamed, her voice carrying off into the emptiness of the night. She still remembered the name of the strange little man that had visited her all those years ago. She had been crying into the emptiness of her room that night when the imp had appeared. With silver tongue he had promised her the power to be rid of her mother. He had told her about the magic he would teach her and how it would free her. She had rejected him, having seen the corruption magic had caused to her mother. Now, however, she was no longer the shy little girl who was afraid of magic, now she was Regina, queen of the Sherwood forests. This day she would not bow to her mother's tyranny, this day she would shed the skin of the scared little daughter and stand against her. This day she would fight back, it was about time.

The imp appeared seconds later, giggling excitedly when he saw who had summoned him. "My my my my my if it isn't little Regina. Allow me to say: the married life suits you." Regina opened her mouth to snarl at him, but Rumplestiltskin had already pranced towards Robin's beside, letting out another giggle when he took sight of Robin's condition.  
"Though I must say, it does not look nearly as good on him." He snickered, apparently not caring in the least that the man was dying. "Oh yes this is exactly Cora's work. I suppose it was the next best thing to crushing his heart. Poor girl, she must be terrible broken up about not getting the chance to actually feel it turn to dust."  
"Quit your jokes." Regina snapped at him, forcing the fear out of her voice and striding towards him, forcing herself to be as intimidating as she could muster. The scared little princess that Rumple knew wouldn't do, she needed to be the queen. "I know what magic looks like and I know this was my mother. I will not allow him to die."  
"Well well, look whose come to care for the savage." Rumplestiltskin teased her in a sing-song voice, prancing around her as if he were a child instead of a hundreds of years old wizard. "Love is weakness, I thought the message would have been clear by now dearie."  
"Either help me or begone." Regina snapped at him. Of course she remembered the lesson, she had Cora's endless lesson engraved inside her heart, but Robin had somehow found a way past the glass around her heart, had pressed his nose up against it and had drawn his name on the breaths that had clung to the battered piece of her body.

"I would love to help dearie, but I cannot." Regina startled back at his words, wide-eyed and gasping at him. No. He was still alive, there had to be a way to save him, she would not succumb to her mother's grasp once again. She couldn't deal with it, not again. Rumplestiltskin let out another blood curling giggle as he walked behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and trailing it down to her hands. "Only you can." He told her nearly on a whisper, sounding so excited about the turn of events that Regina wondered if it had been Cora behind all this at all. "Cora's defiled his heart. The only way to clean it is by someone who holds love for him in its own heart."  
"I do not love him." Regina whispered, trembling as she took in his still shaking figure. It was an automatic reaction and she was not even sure if it was a lie or not. She felt nothing, only fear. Fear and anger so overwhelming that it nearly drowned out all other thoughts.  
Rumplestiltskin giggled. "Well dearie maybe you should start then, because if you don't, he dies." He trailed his fingers upwards again and suddenly a book was pressed towards her chest. She did not need to look at it to know which one it was, the touch of it scorched and scared her just as it had the first time. It still smelled of the dark magic that her mother had used and the feel of it laid a cold upon her heart that she couldn't shake off.  
"This is my mother's." She said, her voice trembling as she desperately tried not to look at the book. Rumplestiltskin chuckled into her ear.  
"This is mine, but I lend it to your mother. Now I'm taking it back." He wrapped his arms around her as he guided her hands to open the book. The ink seemed to swim on the pages, eager to be let out, to be unleased upon the world. Regina felt herself turn back into the scared little girl at the sight of it; her mother had used the book on occasion when she was being punished, the smell that would hang in the afterwards was exactly the same as the one that emanated from the book.  
"No." She rasped, trying to push the book away, but Rumplestiltskin was relentless, forcing her to look upon its pages. "I don't want to."  
"Dearie, it's not about what you _want_, it's about what you _choose_." Rumplestiltskin told her mockingly. "Either you do this, or poor Robin dies. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?"

She stared at the letters for a long while, clenching the book between her hands until her knuckles strained and turned white. Suddenly Robin let out a loud gasp as she arched up from the bed especially heavily, before slamming down heavily as his gasping and moaning stopped.  
"Tick tock dearie!" The imp urged, pressing the book closer to her face until the scent of the magic on the pages overwhelmed her and made her sick. With every breath the magic was swept up from the page, dancing and stinging on her lips and around her nose as if it were a living thing that begged to be let in.  
"It's a shame, really, that the boy will have to grow up without a father." Rumplestiltskin remarked with more amusement than compassion and it was the final straw for Regina. With the image of Roland in her mind she gathered her courage and drew a deep breath, allowing the magic to fill every fiber of her being.

It was cold, colder than the night in Sherwood forest, colder even than the river that she bathed in. It streamed through her veins and seemingly left ice behind where blood used to be. She gasped and shuddered as it filled her body, tears appearing in her eyes as her body fought against the intrusion. She fought for breath as the magic repelled air from her lungs and took its rightful place inside her body. Her hands trembled and when she lifted them, she saw them glowing and sparkling with purple smoke, much like her mother's had often. She physically felt it when the magic touched her heart, felt it fall silent for far too long before it started an erratic rhythm against her chest that had her nearly falling down. The magic flared in her, found the anger hidden away inside her heart and suddenly she was seeing red, her anger so encompassing that it was impossible to suppress it anymore. She clenched her hands into fists at the sudden anger that rendered her immobile. For a second she caught sight of the excited look on the imp's face and she felt the urge to strangle him roar up, the yearning to see this insipid creature suffer overtaking any other thought. Before she could get to him, however, the rage subsided and she gasped, taking in a fresh breath of air as she magic finally subsided and found a resting place in the battered, broken chambers of her heart. It felt as if a darkness had taken up residence inside her heart.  
"Well well, I told you you did not look like your mother some years ago, but now I see it." Rumplestiltskin giggled, clapping his hands in enthusiasm. He took her by the shoulders and turned her towards Robin, now lying dead still upon the bed. Giggling manically he took her hand, still trembling and ice cold with magic and moved it to rest over his chest.

"Now rip out his heart."


	8. Chapter 8

_This one took a bit longer than usual, so it is a bit longer than usual too. That's fair, right?  
_

* * *

"No." Regina pulled her hand back from him as if touching him had burned her. The magic still prickled and sizzles against her skin. She felt it beating in her heart itself, fighting to be let free. She forced the magic to stay inside and shook her head, feeling bile rise up her throat the mere idea of doing the same thing she had despised her mother for most of all. She turned around to Rumplestiltskin wide-eyed and shook her head again. "No, you do it." She begged. "I can't. I won't."  
Rumplestiltskin let out a little giggle and put both of his scaly hands on each side of her face, stroking trough the loose black hair. "I will not do it, Dearie." He turned her around and forced her hands back to Robin's chest again. "Rip. His. Heart. Out."  
"No." Regina cried, furiously shaking her head, but the imp was relentless.  
"Yes. Do it, or he dies." Rumplestiltskin threatened.  
Regina's heart rested where his heart should be beating, but she could only feel a little thumping so faint that it might have when have not been there at all. He was dying, her mother was taking the life on an innocent man and it was her fault. It was that thought that drove her towards the words of the imp and, she briefly thought, towards his madness.

She sobbed as she allowed her magic to be set loose in her body. Allowed the anger at her mother to overtake her, to lead her. Her hand slipped inside his chest and Robin gasped, his eyes flying open wider at the intrusion. She faintly registered Rumplestiltskin's elated giggling behind her when she pulled her hand back, clenching the faintly glowing heart in her hand. It beat softly against her skin, but any kind of rhythm seemed to already have been lost. The organ struggled in her hands against some impossible force, as if it were a tiny animal struggling against an invisible captor. Cracks had started to form on the heart and smoke as black as night rose from it every time it clenched. The smell of it made her sick; it smelled of magic and death. It smelled of her mother. She wanted to ask what to do with the heart, but her throat had closed and she could not speak a single word. Instead she gazed down at the heart. Anger and fear fought for their rightful place in her heart and she did not know which of the two sparked the purple smoke that emanated from her trembling hands. It streamed around the heart, entering through the cracks where dark smoke had been once and she could see it clouding the inside of his heart like purple fog. It did not heal the cracks or return the heart it's beating and Regina bit her lip, fear winning it from anger as sobbing overtook her body once again. The purple smoke disappeared and left only the black of her mother's magic in it's wake.  
"It doesn't work." She bit her lip and tried to calm her trembling hands without success.  
"Well of course not, you are using dark magic dearie. It's good for breaking and ripping out hearts, but healing requires light magic." Rumplestiltskin told her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
"How do I use light magic?" Regina stuttered, still desperately clinging to the heart, as if simply holding it would return life to it. Her own heart beat frantically in her chest in an almost mocking contrast to Robin's.  
Rumplestiltskin giggled. "Well how should I know? I practice dark magic, dearie!" He cackled and Regina turned to face him in surprise, gasping at the vile twinkling in the imp's eyes. He walked to her, his face pressing so close to hers that he could have kissed her lips if he wanted to. "And so do you! Have fun with it." He told her mockingly, still cackling, before disappearing in dark smoke.

Regina was left alone in the tent, clenching Robin's heart in her hand while no magic, neither dark nor light, would emanate from her anymore. She still felt it stirring inside her heart, however; the darkness, the cold that the imp had planted inside her. He'd played her, she realized, he had had no desire to save Robin at all in the first place. The trembling in her hands increased until she could hardly hold on to the heart anymore. It had completely stopped it's beating, now lying still and rapidly cooling in her hands. She desperately tried to remember the feel of light magic, the way it had touched and stroked and mended her near two weeks ago on that hill. She remembered the beautiful stream and the magical land that had lain beneath, remembered the birds that had flown free, reveling in the touch of magic that lifted them up towards the sky. She remembered the story that Robin had told her, remembered the soft rustling of the golden trees and the feel of the grass beneath her feet. She remembered the way Robin had touched her, first her hands and arms, but then her face as he softly stroked her hair. She remembered how he had looked at her, how he had touched her as if she was the most precious thing she had ever beheld. As if she was more beautiful than the magical landscape behind them. She remembered the way the light magic had warmed her heart.

And she felt it. She felt it driving away the cold planted there by Rumplestiltskin. She felt a tingling in her fingers, but a whole new kind. It felt like the magic she had touched upon that hill, the magic that had mended her and caressed her and, somehow, _loved_ her. But instead of being in the air, it came from inside her; as if it spread out from her heart through her limbs with every beat, every breath. She felt the liquid warmth travel through her veins, felt it reaching her fingertips and finally slipping out from her hands. She watched the magic slowly seep into the cracks of Robin's heart, the organ taking on a golden glow from inside as it slowly started back to beating again. It warmed and returned to life inside her palms and Regina nearly sobbed in relief. She then heard a gasp from behind her, a struggling, first breath from a suffocating man.  
"Regina?" Robin rasped as Regina rushed to his bedside, taking his face between her hands and stroking his hair back. His eyes were open; they looked tired and confused and he looked like he could sleep for two weeks. Still Robin tried to lift his hand to touch her, but his face scrunched up in pain and he gasped in surprise as his strained muscles. "Regina what-"  
"I'm so sorry Robin." Regina sobbed and she saw her husband's eyes widen as he took in sight of the still beating heart in her hand. She did not answer his question, instead pressing the heart to his chest with trembling hands. Returning it was much easier than ripping it out, as if the heart found its rightful place without needing guidance.

Robin gasped again at the surge of emotion and magic that rippled through him as his heart was returned. For a moment his eyes gleamed the same gold of the magic that his heart had been, before returning to the normal greyish blue color. His body heaved as his entire being seemed to become infused with the warmth and magic that streamed from his heart and mended his pained body. His eyes met hers for a split second before he suddenly took her head between his hands not unlike she had before with him. He gazed at here for only a second, breathing heavily against the emotions that surged through him, before he pulled her towards him and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that surprised both of them. She gasped into the kiss, feeling her own magic tingling upon his lips, feeling it surging back into her where their lips touched. For a few seconds she allowed herself to feel him, to feel the warmth surge through her body, to feel his hands through her hair. For a few seconds she allowed herself to feel _loved_.

Then she pulled away from him and as she did, as the warmth and the magic disappeared from her heart, all that was left was the overwhelming fear that had always been there. Her eyed widened as her brain caught up with her heart, told her stories about her mother, about dark and light magic, about weaknesses and strengths and revenge and heartbreak. She panicked and in her panic reverted to the same thing she always did in the face of danger: she ran. So she ran away from the warmth and light of the tent into the cold darkness of the night, only vaguely hearing Robin's shouts as she left him, and the encampment, far behind her.

* * *

Regina dimly remembered how bright the first night she spent at the encampment had been. It had been near two weeks ago and the moon had hung proudly in the sky, reflecting the sun's light trough the treetops with such vigor that it could have been mistaken for daylight. Now the moon was nowhere to be seen and the night was nothing but impenetrable darkness. Yet this nightfall scared her not nearly as much as it had before; she could handle darkness, she had touched it enough not to fear it. Running into the darkness oddly enough seemed safer and more familiar to her than returning to the light and warmth of the tent, or Robin's embrace. She stumbled through the encampment, ignoring the questions and shouting of Robin's men. Some bumped into her and tried to halt her, but she pushed past them and none followed them. The rumor that their leader had awoken from what seemed like a sure death by an incurable disease followed her and captures the men's attention far more than she did. She did not know where she was headed, but she knew she had to get somewhere where she could clear her head, her head where ancient fear and newfound care battled for dominance. Her heart where darkness and light fought and clashed, sparks flying from it that scorched her from inside out. Robin's men shouted, laughed and cheered around her as the news that their leader survived reached them, she barely heard it. It all blurred into one sea of sounds, impenetrable for anything to reach her, to stop her.

Apart from the crying of a little boy.

She nearly bumped into him, stopping only when she heard his scared cry as she came running towards him. She gasped and froze in place when she took sight of him: wrapped in a thick cloak that nearly dragged the ground and obscured most of his body. She had forgotten how tiny he actually was, barely reaching up to her waist. Curled up beside her in her bed the presence of the boy always seemed bigger somehow. She dropped down to the boy's height instantly, watching how the boy's lip trembled in the dim light of the nearby campfire.  
"Roland, what are you doing here?" She asked, stroking the boy's curly brown hair back. The boy sniffled and without waiting for the answer Regina pulled the little boy towards her to hug him against her. The boy sniffled against her.  
"Daddy was 'sposed come to read me a bedtime story. But he didn't. So I wanted to look for him, but everyone was running and yelling and I got lost and-" Roland explained to her through sobs, still clinging to the soft material of her bathrobe. He was shivering, she noticed, even the thick coat not enough to keep the cold away from his tiny figure.  
"It's okay Roland. I was lost too." She confessed to the boy, rubbing his back and pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. "But you found me, now let's go back to your tent and I'll read you a bedtime story. Daddy will be with you soon, okay? I promise." She promised him and Roland nodded, his cheeks still stained with tears. Regina did not know Robin's condition, he had seemed fairly well when she had left him –well enough to _kiss _her- but she wouldn't risk Roland seeing his father when he hadn't recovered yet.  
"I don't know the way back to the tent." Roland sniffled and Regina smiled at him, lifting up the boy up to her hip easily.  
"Good thing I know then." She told him with a wink and the boy giggled as she carried him to his tent.

She had only been in Roland's tent once before and she surprised herself when she found it. She carefully put the boy, already half asleep by the time they reached the tent, on his bed and draped the covers over his small frame. He didn't stir when she tucked the boy in, only sighing contently as he snuggled up closer in the covers. Regina knew Robin could come in any second and he would apologize and turn away from her and probably ask questions she wasn't ready for. Yet she couldn't bear to leave the boy; so innocent and unprotected. She softly stroked his hair and watched his face as he quickly drowsed off to sleep. He hadn't even needed a bedtime story after all. As she watched him sleep she couldn't stop herself from bringing herself closer to him on the bed, sitting next to him until he was almost curled up in her lap. Cora would come for him, she realized with a shock that pierced her heart. She had expected fear to rear its head, but it was something entirely different, a feeling that had grown inside her ever since she had met Robin and his son, awoken by Rumplestiltskin's magic. This time while she watched the little boy, it was not fear that kept her awake, it was rage.  
_'I will not let her get to this boy'_ she promised herself.  
_'Even if you have to kill your mother to protect him_.' The magic whispered back.  
She didn't answer to it.

* * *

It didn't take more than half an hour for Robin to show up. As he stumbled into the tent the urge to jump and flee from him reared its head in her heart again. She suppressed it, however. She had been running for most of her life, but she had never managed to escape anyway. Cora still haunted her, surely she could deal with her own feelings for this ranger. She tightened her arms around Roland but did not look away from the boy as she heard him come in.

"He's asleep." She hissed at him and she audibly heard Robin's surprised gasp at finding her there.  
"I thought you were gone! I have half my men looking for you." He hurried towards her, only stopping a few feet from her as he suddenly remembered the reason that Regina had ran in the first place. She saw his shoulders slouch down from the corner of her eye as he stepped back from her.  
"Apologies. I upset you. I didn't mean to-"  
"Roland is asleep, I would not want to wake him. This is not a conversation to be held here." Regina cut him off, her heart beating frantically against her chest, screaming at her to run, to get away from this man and his son before her mother could hurt them again. But Robin would follow her, she knew, and infuriating as the man was sometimes he would probably find her too. So she told her heart off and walked to her own tent, feeling Robin hot on her heels.

"Milady I don't know what happened." Robin told her as soon as they set foot in her tent. Regina walked towards the bed, sitting down on it and pulling the covers up to her neck, as if they would protect her from the ghosts inside her heart. "It's just … after you returned my heart, it just felt so… so right. I'm sorry milady, I wasn't thinking and-"  
"My mother poisoned you, tried to kill you, and you are apologizing to me?" She words finally forced themselves from her throat and the raw emotion in her voice scared Regina more than Robin would ever be able to. She clenched her fist around the bedsheets around herself tightly and forbade herself to cry. She saw Robin frown at her words as he slightly backed away from her in surprise, before stepping towards her tentatively.  
"Milady-"  
"She poisoned your heart Robin. I should have known that she would" She shook her head, tears escaping from her eyes and lacing themselves through her voice. "I should have known this would happen, this is what _always_ happens." She whimpered, more to herself than to Robin.  
Robin sat down next to her on the bed, taking his rightful place beside her again and took her left hand firmly between his. He traced his strong, calloused fingers over her slim ones before bringing her hand up to rest over his heart. Regina felt a sob escape her as she felt his heart beating strong against his chest under her fingers.  
"I'm still alive, Regina. She didn't kill me." He told her, his eyes gazing into her eyes witch such conviction that it made her eyes flutter and turn away for a second. She tried to pull her hand away from his chest, the way it beat reminding her of the way it had resting inside her heart, but he wouldn't let her.  
"I had to take your heart, Robin." Regina whimpered, her voice hoarse with tears held back. Robin's eyes widened in surprise and Regina took the opportunity to rip her hand away from his chest, hiding it away under the covers from him as if it were forbidden for him to gaze upon. His eyes were full of questions that she found herself answering to without prompting. "Rumplestiltskin told me I had to. He gave me the magic to do it; _to rip out your heart." _She paused, his voice dropping down until it was barely a whisper, a soft summer wind coursing through pine trees. "It's what my mother used to do."  
Robin caught her thoughts before she could even form them coherently herself, she took her face between his hands and forced her to look at him, his eyes pooling with emotions that she could not understand. "Regina." He told her, her name sounding almost like a prayer upon his lips. "You are not, and will never be, your mother." He promised her, his hands never letting their hold upon her slip, forcing her to look at him with every word that left his lips. So she did, tears finally trickling down her cheeks as she allowed herself to show them to him, to bare her heart and soul to him.  
"The imp. Rumplestiltskin. He did something to me." Regina whispered, her voice shaking with the fear she had held inside her heart ever since the darkness had touched it. "He put something inside me, Robin, I can feel it: There's a darkness inside me."  
"There's a darkness inside all of us." Robin answered her, faltering not even a second, still holding on to her. He stroked her hair with one hand, thumbing away the tears that had fallen upon her cheeks with the other. She gazed up at him, confused by his admission, but Robin answered before she could even begin to ask: "There's a darkness inside all of us, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can make you stronger, it can make you a better person, as long as you remember that it is there." He explained, tentatively trailing his heart down to her chest, just above her breasts, to feel her heart beating steadily against her chest. "It can't change you unless you allow it to do so."  
"It already has." Regina mumbled, voice trembling with terror at her own admission. "I feel so … angry. Robin. When I think of her, my mother, I don't feel scared anymore. Just … rage." She explained to him, her voice almost flat as the emotion was forced from it. "I can feel it, Robin, the anger burning, just waiting to be let out, and it's … it's not me."  
Robin moved his hands from her face towards her shoulders and slowly pulled her closer to him until she was sitting near the edge of the bed. His eyes met hers again and she bit her lip, feeling how it started trembling again against her will. Robin took her hands in his again and stroked them softly.  
"It is, Regina." He said and Regina frowned in confusion. Robin smiled at her and tightened his hands around hers. "You are a survivor and anger is only part of being alive, but you don't have to be led by it."  
"The imp, he wanted this." Regina told him on a shaky breath. "He taught her magic and it changed her, now he taught me and I-"  
Robin shook his head and cut her off. "I don't care what the imp thinks, I don't care what he _wants_. He won't get it, Regina, because you are a good person." He dropped her hand and returned it to her face, stroking her cheek. "You are not evil." He promised her with such reverence and conviction that she actually allowed herself to believe his words, if only for tonight. She sighed and held on to his hand tightly, her eyes gazing into his for long minutes.

"She won't stop, you know." Regina finally told him after long minutes of silence. Her voice was raspy with sleep and tears, but neither came to her anymore. Just the dull realization that the only way to protect Robin and Roland from her mother might be to turn into her. "She will come after you. After your men. After _Roland_." Her voice was flat, all her tears used up, all her emotion hidden away. Robin stayed silent for too long and fear slowly seeped into the recently closed cracks in Regina's heart, already claiming its rightful place next to the dormant anger and rumbling love that fought for residence there. He finally turned his gaze away from her, staring emptily into the space of the tent.  
"Yes, she will." He finally answered, not questioning or arguing with her premise.  
"I'm sorry." Regina whispered into the emptiness above her, having turned her eyes away from Robin's looming figure beside her. Then she felt his hand upon her shoulder and had turned herself towards him before he could urge her to. Robin's eyes shone brightly even by the dim light, conviction and determination making them brighter than any moon-or sunlight ever would be able to.  
"But I knew that when I married you, Regina." He ignored her apology altogether, as if it had not reached him at all. "I knew your mother cares not about you or about this forest, least of all about me. I knew this day would come."  
"Why did you marry me, then? Did she threaten you?" Her throat closed violently around the fear as she pictured her mother, holding a knife to tiny little Roland's neck, ripping out the boy's heart and forcing him towards a cliff, snapping her fingers and making an arrow fly at the boy The images kept coming, made her sick to her stomach and she nearly physically heaved as the urge to throw up at them manifested itself. "Marian, did she…" her voice was raspy, nearly inaudible in the emptiness of the tent.  
"No. Marian was an unfortunate event, but that was long before your mother. And she didn't threaten me." Robin was quick to assure her, squeezing.  
"Then why? If you'd never married me you and your son would have been safe. Why would you endanger that?" Regina whispered, wide eyed and holding on to his hands for dear life, as if she could protect him against her mother simply by holding him.  
Robin gave her a wry smile in answer. "Because I met your mother." He averted his eyes from her for only a split second before returning them to her, shining with new, unbridled emotion. "I know how your society works." He told her in a raspy voice, "I knew she would not stop at me, that she would find some other lord or king to marry you off to." His eyes flickered away from her once again, his voice raspy as he admitted it all to her, everything he had hidden away from the day he had accepted and pressed a kiss towards her hand. "I had … an idea of what those kings would do to you. And when I saw you I couldn't let them. I couldn't let_ her_ do that to you." He smiled wryly at himself, as if he was berating himself for some misguided bravery. "I thought I could protect you from them. Keep you safe." He laughed softly to himself and shook his head, because for all his good intentions, she would never be safe from Cora. The woman would kill him and marry her off to the next king that would have her, and honestly, what king _wouldn't? _  
"You … you risked your safety, your son, to protect me?" Regina asked incredulously. Nobody had ever stepped up to protect her before, even when they had little to lose. Her father hadn't stood up against her mother, her friends had run away when they took sight of her mother, the gods had stayed silent and even Daniel, sweet, loving Daniel, could never do anything to protect her against her mother. Yet here was this man, this man who had so much to lose and nothing to gain and he was staring at her in such earnest as he answered her;  
"Aye. I did."

Cora could take a lot away from her, but those words she could not. The conviction and caring that this man expressed for her could not be touched or tainted by her magic, because they took residence up in Regina's heart, in a place that even Cora wouldn't be able to touch. And it lifted her heart, warmed it and whispered to it to be brave. She gazed at him for a split second before thoughts left her and suddenly she understood what Robin had told her earlier. How he did not think, how it had just felt _right._ She understood as she pulled him towards her and pressed her lips to his in a tentative kiss. Robin gasped in surprise against her lips but did not pull away. Robin slowly let her hand fall to the bed to move both of his towards her head, tracing his fingers through her dark hair. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched like this and she closed her eyes without thinking, melting into the kiss, allowing the warmth to spread from her lips via her veins towards her heart. She deepened the kiss, pulling him towards the bed until only his elbows were keeping his weight off her. He kissed her languidly, taking what she granted him, but never asking for more. After long minutes she pulled away tentatively and gazed up into his eyes. Robin smiled down at her and she didn't need to speak, because his eyes spoke the words to her that neither dared to utter. So instead she smiled back at him and pulled him back to her, kissing him softly again before she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his neck and breathing in his scent.

He smelled like forest.

* * *

**_Both really nervous and really excited about this chapter, so leave a review pretty please?_**


	9. Chapter 9

She found herself in the elusive realm between dreams and reality, in that slight phase where even the most grounded realist finds itself wondering which reality to believe, where impossibilities suddenly don't seem that far-fetched any longer. As Regina drifted into consciousness she found herself vaguely aware of the presence beside her. It was an odd sensation; feeling the warmth emanate from something, feeling it envelop her and hold her, almost love her. It felt like an impossibility and the realist in her soul wanted to deny it, to pass it off as one of the many dreams she used to have about a love long lost. It told her that if she opened her eyes, there would be nothing left of the warmth beside her. But then the presence moved and suddenly that impossibly changed into possibility and morphed into reality. The reality woke her, drove out the dreams as it had many times before. This time Regina did not mind. Softly more of her senses awoke and she heard him snoring softly in her ear, smelled the faint smell of forest, felt the light tingle of his fingers on her skin. Suddenly she yearned to open her eyes, for the last and most prominent of her senses to behold him, to prove that he was not some sphere of her imagination come to taunt her. So she did. He was still asleep and she's rarely gotten to see him like this. He would sometimes fall asleep on the chair beside her bed, but even then there would always be a tension in his body: as if he was always on his guard, even when asleep. Now there was no tension, no guard, no bow ready to be drawn. His mouth was slightly opened and she could feel his breaths against her neck as he was laid against her, his arms wrapped around her so tightly that she could hardly move. Regina had never liked hugs, Daniel had been the only one allowed to hug her and ever since he died, no one had ever tried or been allowed to touch her in that way. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and she could still smell the faint smell of forest and magic on them. He had dressed down to a plain, soft shirt and his trousers, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by taking off more. They had kissed and clung onto each other to the night until both finally fell asleep wrapped in each other. Robin did not propose more and Regina did not ask for it. She was content with just holding him, with getting her stuttering heart allow itself to beat vibrantly in her chest for him. They both knew that until she taught her heart to love with courage, this would be as far as they would go. And it was enough for both of them.

She absent mindedly trickled her fingers over his bared arms, travelling over his shoulders to his cheek, feeling the pleasant scratch of his morning stubble against her soft skin. She traced the skin around his lips with her thumb and softly chuckled as Robin scrunched up his nose in reaction. It was something she used to do with her father when she was just a few years old and childish as it was, it warmed her heart and brought back a portion of that little girl that dared to love without fear for loss. She saw Robin's eyes softly fluttering as he drifted into consciousness and suddenly the little girl in her jumped up and she couldn't stop a soft giggle as she covered his eyes with her hands. Rolling her body on top of him she put her mouth to his ear and asked: "Guess who?"  
"Hm… Whoever could it be? Roland?" Robin rasped, a sleepy chuckle already accompanying his voice. Regina yelped as his hands shot up and grabbed her just above her hips, wiggling his fingers at the sensitive, ticklish spot. "My you've grown!" He grinned as he opened his eyes. When his met hers the grin erupted from his face and morphed into a smile that reached up to his eyes and lit up the whole expanse of his face. It was as if he had doubted the reality of the situation like she had and that seeing her in front of him confirmed what he had hoped with his entire soul to be the truth. Regina laughed and yelped as he ticked her and quickly grabbed his hands to pull them from her, mimicking his grin from ear to ear. She knew that the world outside was still harsh and cold and that people were still outside to hurt both of them, but for now she longed to be young, silly and in love.  
"It's good to see you smile." Robin pushed back her long black hair to reveal more of her face; the slight blush on her face, the mole just left of her mouth and the scar on her upper lip. He traced her mouth with his thumb, resting upon the marred piece of skin for just a second. Regina steeled herself for the question that had been asked many times, but never answered truthfully before. Robin, however, did not ask.  
"It's good to see you smile." He said instead, smiling up at her.  
"It's good to be smiling." Regina answered truthfully and Robin's grin lit up even more.  
"It suits you." Robin told her and there was no truth that he believed more in that moment. The young queen looked truly vibrant for the first time since he'd seen her; her long hair was barely brushed and flowed around her slightly toned face in loose curls. Her brown eyes that had had portrayed sorrow, fear and a closely guarded myriad of emotions that he could not read, spoke to him in vibrant words that bypassed his ears and whispered to his heart. Her voice was lighter somehow, less weighed down by polite speech that her mind had been told to speak. Not dressed in ill-fitted or too well-fitted clothing, but in only a light, white nightgown she looked like an angel descended from heaven. Resting against her bare chest hung the simple ring that he sometimes saw her cling to like a lifeline. His eyes trailed from the ring to the scar on her lip. She wore her story branded upon and against her skin and he longed to read just a little piece of the novel that was Regina. For now, however, he could not bear to ask her the weighed questions that would quell her smile and throw her into the abyss of memories best left unremembered, so he did not.  
"How are you feeling?" He asked instead.

It had always been a simple question to answer for Regina. If it was her father the answer was "You know how." and if it was anyone else she was always doing splendid. It was a part of the act Cora made her perform and she had become the star player in her own solo theatre performance. Now the answer did not come to her so easily. She felt happy and that in itself was such a disconcerting state that the happiness itself dwindled every second due to fear of losing it. She was also not 'fine', because outside the sanctuary of the tent was still a world with people like her mother and Rumplestiltskin. Even in the tent there was danger; the magic laid dormant, but she had no doubt that it was still there. The cold, however, was nowhere to be felt, the warmth that Robin had wrapped her in never leaving even an inch of her body unprotected.  
"I feel warm." She finally said with a soft smile and Robin only replied by softly wrapping his arms around her again and mirroring her smile. Regina stared into his stormy grey eyes that spoke so freely of things she did not dare to hope for, eyes that peered into her soul and picked the seams out of her life. Robin's arms tightened slightly around her as he pulled her closer towards him, his breath softly trickling over her lips and she gasped softly.  
"Milady, permission to kiss you?" Robin asked softly and Regina just nodded, having barely enough time to smile before Robin pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Regina still felt her heart leap nervously as if it were the first time his lips had met hers. They had kissed plenty the previous night under the cover of darkness with confused hearts stuttering In their chests, but now that his lips touched her in the brightness of the morning sun with their hearts both being surely, it was something else entirely. The night had been a promise that the day had not failed to deliver on and she was infinitely glad that it hadn't.

Robin kissed her softly. It reminded her of Daniel, but at the same time it did not. He was gentle as Daniel had been, but more determined, less fumbling and young. With Daniel it had always been quick, sneaked kisses and sometimes more behind the stable or, at rare occasions, in her chambers. It had been wonderful, but her mother had always been a dragon that neither of them could slay. She did not believe that Robin could slay the dragons of her past for her, but the way he kissed her she couldn't help but think he would run blindly into battle with them if he had to. The thought was as frightening as it was heartwarming and she felt a tiny sting of cold fear in her heart at the thought of Robin rushing into a battle with her mother that he would never win.

"Regina, what is it?" Robin softly pulled back and Regina's thought flickered back to the words Cora had spoken to her weeks that felt like years ago: _'You carry your words upon your skin'. _She did not know if she was truly bad at hiding what she was feeling on the inside from the world, or rather that Robin could read her as easily as a children's book, but it was strangely comforting to be understood by somebody like Robin did with her. She softly pulled back from him, both of them moving to a sitting position until they were faced. She trailed her hands to the warmed material of the ring hanging around her neck. Robin nodded softly in understanding and shifted his eyes away for a second, trailing his gaze over the ring on his own finger. He did not ask and was mildly surprised when Regina still answered.  
"I was thinking about Daniel." She told him slowly, her eyes glazy and unfocused. Robin did not speak to her, knowing his wife was battling demons in a realm that his voice and touch could not reach her. Instead he watched the way Regina fiddled with the ring around her neck: clenching her fist around it, balancing it on the tips of her fingers, making it dance around the cord before letting it fall around her ring finger, twisting her hand around to have it drop in her palm and clench her fist around it again. It was a dance that her hands were familiar with, he suspected, a ritual she performed to drive out the ghosts of her past that haunted her heart. "He was my first love and I … believed him to be my only love, my true love." Her eyes still did not meet him, staring off into space as almost imperceptible tears welled up in her eyes. She stared in silence for a long time, stopping the fiddling with the ring and clenching her hand around it instead until her knuckles turned white. "And she took him from me." She breathed in sharply and Robin saw the sting of cold that Regina had told him about in her eyes. Sorrow covered the canvas of her eyes, but he could see the icy strokes of anger that appeared for just a few second as she spoke. "She ripped his heart out." She spat out almost on a whisper, shaking her head as if she was blaming the world for the injustice that was done to her. Maybe, Robin briefly wondered, she was even right to do so. "She ripped it out and crushed it. Because he was a stable boy and I was a princess." She slowly opened her hand around the ring again, turning her gaze towards the material lying in the palm of her hand. "Because he loved me." She shook her head and smiled bitterly, still wandering somewhere in the memory where she was a naïve young princess in love with an equally young stable boy. Robin did not speak, did not apologize, because he knew there was no room in her heart for meaningless apologies. He had been given his fair share of those himself after his wife passed and they had never brought him any comfort, so he stayed silent and listened to her tale for as long as she allowed it to continue.  
"Daniel once told me that true love is magic." Regina sighed, shaking her head and chuckling bitterly at the foolish notion. "I wanted it so badly. To feel magic, _real _magic." She lifted her hands up and danced her fingers in front of her face, feeling the faint tingle of power wanting to be let free from her fingertips. She was not sure if the magic that wanted to erupt was light or dark and the distinction did not mean that much to her. Any magic controlled by humans would eventually turn dark, anyway. "Now that I have it, I just want it to go away."  
"It's still there?" Robin asked softly, taking her hands in his and trailing her fingers over hers as if he could feel the magic upon them. He had felt both her dark and light magic; had felt the cold sting when she had ripped her heart out and the overflowing warmth when she had healed it. Now he felt neither.  
"It's dormant. My mother once told me that magic is emotion, she warned me not to anger her, because that's when the magic came." She closed her eyes, again succumbing to the memories that dragged her down like a whirlpool where the only way out from was to swim to she middle as fast as possible. "I sometimes wondered if it was my mother controlling the magic, or rather the magic controlling her." Regina paused, biting her lip and softly trailing her tongue over the married piece of skin on her upper lip. "She was a monster." She stated and Robin's gaze told her more than any of his words would ever be able to convey. He did not have a response to her, did not know any words to offer other than '_yes, she was_', so he didn't. Instead he lifted his hands towards her face and ran his thumb over the cut on her upper lip once again, gazing into her eyes for a second before asking:  
"Did she do this?"  
"Yes. She …" Regina swallowed and absent mindedly rubbed her arms where Cora used to lash out at them on bad days. "She mostly used magic, because it doesn't leave scars. But that time she was so angry that she just … forgot." She bit her lip and let out a shuddering breath. "It was no more than week after Daniel was … passed away. She found me in the stables with a new girth for my saddle. Daniel had given it to me no more than three days before he died." She still struggled with the words, especially Daniel's fate scraped her throat and left it sore and burning. "When she saw me with it she just got so, so angry. She took it from me and hit me with it. That's how I got the scar. She could have magicked it away, she'd done so before but she left it as a reminder. I've had to look at it every day since. It keeps me from forgetting." She sighed and stared down to the bed, tears slowly leaking from her eyes and dripping down to the sheets between them.  
"Sometimes remembering can be the worst thing of all." Agreed Robin, but to his surprise Regina shook her head firmly, glancing up to him with an odd determination in her eyes.  
"I don't ever want to forget what she did to me. I want to remember it all, because if I forget, there will be nothing left. For a long time that anger was all I had."  
"After I lost my wife I felt that for a long time … Empty, safe for that anger. Anger at myself mostly." Robin told her with a raspy voice. He had not intended to tell her about Marian, but she had showed him the demons that were housed in her heart and perhaps it was only fair if he showed her his. "Her death was my fault."  
"Can you tell me about her?" Regina asked on nearly a whisper. Robin's shoulders sagged as he turned his gaze towards the tent doors. The light just barely peeked through them and he was reminded of the way he had carried her inside the tent the night they were wed. They had truly been deeply in love and that made it all hurt even more. He slowly nodded, tracing the silver wedding ring around his finger softly.  
"I met her when I was just a boy. Barely seventeen and unbeknownst with the dangers and temptations that the world had to offer. I was young, brash and all I wanted was to get drunk on life as soon and as often as possible. The city calls out to a young boy raised in a forest and it called louder than my father, who warned me of the unfair world that lay behind the safely of the tree line. At first I just watched, watched the rich waste their luxury in the cities and the poor waste away in their poverty. But soon watching was not enough, I began to go down to the city and take trophies from the houses I visited. Sometimes in the dead of night, sometimes when I was feeling exceptionally brash in the middle of the day. What I stole I gave to the poor in the town, not because I was particularly taken with their fortune, but because I did not steal it for the spoils. I stole for the pure thrill of it." He paused, shaking his head at the young version of him that would have been foolish enough to try to pick the devil's pocket. "I met Marian in the village one day after I returned from what I called my 'hunt'. The town was crowding around me, hailing me a hero, as I gave them gold and silver stolen from the rich lords up in the cities. I loved it, the attention, thought I could get any girl in that town with a snap of my fingers and a wink of my eye. Marian did not think so." He chuckled softly at the memories, his eyes glazing over in gentle memories of the woman who had been less than impressed by the self-proclaimed vigilante. "I don't know what it tells about me that I was determined to get the _only_ girl in town that wouldn't have me, but I was." Regina chuckled softly at his story, finding it hard to believe that the man in front of her had once been an insufferable, arrogant bastard. She smiled softly at him, encouraging him to continue his story, so he did: "She was not impressed by the gifts I brought her, though in retrospect it was probably because I stole them. To me there was no difference at the time, but there was for Marian. It took nearly a year before she allowed me to even set foot in her house and I think she wouldn't have if it hadn't been so bitterly cold." He smiled at Regina only shortly before turning his eyes away again, returning to the memories that danced so clear in front of his eyes. "It took her over another year to fall in love with me and to be honest I'm not sure why she did at all. I truly was an insufferable bastard. But she did love me and she kept loving me for almost thirteen years." He smiled and closed his eyes, allowing the many years of fond memories about him and Marian to flood his mind and heart. He wished it had been more years, but he was glad for the years he had been granted. He traced the ring on his finger again and sighed heavily. When he found Regina's eyes he found them heavy with emotions he knew coiled in his own. It was surprisingly easy to continue the story in the sight of those eyes, as if he was telling the story to his own troubled eyes rather than to another woman who had captured his heart.  
"She gave me Roland and I will always be thankful for that. We almost didn't have him she was so sick during her pregnancy. But the gods smiled down upon us for once those months." He smiled at the memory of his little boy, his merry little man, the light in his life since Marian had been ripped away from him and thrown him into that pit of darkness. "We were happy. When my father passed I became lord of the Sherwood forests and my thieving days were left behind me. I didn't miss them; I was content with the safety of the forest and the love of my family." He sighed, his voice wearing heavy and Regina instinctively knew that the story was about to make that horrible turn that every story in her life somehow seemed to have to make.  
"Then Roland got sick." Robin continued, his voice raspy with emotion. "He was two years old and I thought we were going to lose him; pale, lying in that bed, hardly breathing, to see your child like that … It's the worst thing imaginable." He swallowed heavily, clenching the sheets in both his hands. "I knew they had medicine in the city that would be able to heal my boy. We had found the gold and silver In the woods years earlier and Marian begged me to trade it for the medicine. I wouldn't do it, I had seen what the rich men in the city would do with it, how they would buy slaves and whores from the gold of the Sherwood forest. I told her I would get the medicine without defiling the gold of the Sherwood forest." He scoffed and shook his head. "Two years ago now and I still can't believe that I did that. But I kept my word; I went out to the city of Nottingham. I never would have expected Marian to follow me; she frowned upon my thieving ways, but I know now it was because she loved me." He sighed heavily, as if the world had suddenly placed itself upon his shoulders and he just did not wish to carry the load any longer. "We found the medicine and it saved Roland's life, but at the cost of hers. The sheriff caught us. I ran as I had done many times before, but when I looked back she was not behind me. I never saw or heard from her again, no idea what happened to her." He gazed into the empty space of the tent, his voice breaking to barely more than a whisper. "Sometimes I think I don't want to know."

A tear slipped down his cheek and he felt more stinging in his eyes. Regina softly moved towards him on the bed, putting her hands over his and tracing the silver of the ring a second before clenching his hands tightly in hers. Tears were silently running down her cheeks and she did not even know what she who she was crying for anymore: Daniel, Robin, Marian or little Roland who had to grow up without his mother. She did not apologize, did not speak words of pity or sorrow. She stayed silent, just like he had, moving towards him and wrapping her hands around him tightly. The moment her face was pressed into the solid of his chest she felt her body tremble, felt the sobs wrack her body for the cruelty of the world. She then felt Robin's strong arms envelop her and press her closer to him. He was silent, but she felt the tears in his stuttering breaths and trembling limbs.

They sat like that for a long time; holding on to each other for dear life as the pain of their pasts crashed down upon them like a tidal wave. Neither could speak, could express words of comfort or encouragement, because neither believed that those really helped anybody. Instead they helped each other in the only way they knew how: by holding on to each other until the storm passed, carrying each other's burdens until suddenly, it didn't hurt that much anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

Suddenly she was smiling. After her tears had been used up and after her body had stopped shaking she was smiling. Robin was still holding her tightly, clutching her to him and though crying until her eyes were dried was not a strange occasion to Regina, being held after was as foreign as the forest she inhabited. As a faint salty taste reached her mouth, she glanced up to him again, only to find a small smile gracing his own mouth. He combed his fingers through her hair as he often did and the action had become a calming action over the course of the past few days.  
"Thank you." She told him with a smile and Robin slightly cocked his head in questioning, only pulling back slightly to behold her face. "For listening." Regina explained, softly pulling him back towards her and burying her face in his neck, breathing in the scent of forest.  
"Always, milady." The told her solemnly and Regina smiled into his neck. She could hardly believe that she was clenching tightly to his thief, this savage lord and yet nothing had felt more natural in a long time. So she smiled, sad, but content as she had ever been.

"Daddy!" She only got a moment's warning before the little boy crashed against her and Robin like an arrow fired from one of the ranger's bow's. He arrived in a flurry of green and brown and clenched his arms around his father –and consecutively around her- like a tiny monkey.  
"Hey little man!" Robin pulled back from her slightly to look at his son, who tried and failed to hold on to both his father and Regina at the same time. Robin untangled both of them from the boy's grasp and raised his eyebrows in a combination of question and scolding. The boy grinned happily, his eyes shining with the morning son until they were almost hazel brown.  
"'G'morning!" Roland said happily, oblivious to the heartfelt moment he had just interrupted. The boy sat back on the bed on his hunches, but never ceased the happy bouncing that made the matrass slide back and forth slightly. The movements made him look oddly like an excited rabbit and Regina couldn't help but laugh at it.  
"Good morning." Said Robin with a grin and a somewhat sheepish grin towards Regina. "What did I tell you about waking the lady here, young man?" He tried to full of a scowl and a serious frown towards his son, but the boy still mimicked a bunny with such startling accuracy that it was hard to remain serious in the sight of it. Roland's face, however, still sagged slightly as he set himself fall back towards sitting on the bed comically and glanced down to his hands.  
"I can wake the lazy butts the man if I want to, but not the lady's ..."  
"Not the _lady." _Robin quickly corrected the boy and Regina snorted while Roland frowned in confusion. He was a perfect imitation of his father and even more so when he turned towards Robin and his frown molded into an accusatory glance.  
"You did not tell me story before bedtime yesterday." He accused and Robin and Regina's grins fell silent at the boy's words. It had been easy to forget for a few moments that Cora had nearly killed this boy's father less than a day earlier, but they needed to remember, because Cora would not stop and they could not drop their guard. Yet they told the boy anything about magic and poison and curses.  
"I fell asleep." Robin simply answered and Roland's frown deepened.  
"I got lost, 'Gina found me." The boy crossed his arms in front of his chest, as if he were demanding answers from his father. Robin simply chuckled softly and swung his legs over the bed, walking up to the little boy and lifting the boy to the ground with ease.  
"I'm sure Regina will always find you." He promised the boy and Roland eyed him for a second as critically as a four year old could, before accepting the answer and running towards Regina's side of the bed, giving her a toothy grin.  
"You wanna have breakfast?" He asked happily, already taking her hand and pulling her along before Regina could agree. Regina chuckled and accepted the boy's offer as she was already being led out of the tent by the little boy's hand.

* * *

The bread was still hard enough to break her teeth and the soup was still so thick that it required more effort to eat than most of the food she used to get at the palace. Yet it all seemed to taste better than it ever had, because she felt content with Roland sitting on her left and Robin on her right. The latter ate the breakfast effortless, chewing the nutty, tough bread as easily as the airy buns that Regina used to love. The former, however, seemed to struggle with the bread in the same manner that Regina did, but as she observed him she noticed that little Roland had found a way around the bread: the boy would throw the bread into his bowl of soup until it would become completely sappy, after which he could use his spoon to eat bread and broth altogether. It was with a note of curiosity that she also noted that Roland would peel and scratch the nuts from the bread with startling expertise, after which he would hide them in his pockets. As the little boy caught Regina looking at him, he leaned towards her conspiratorially and told her in a hushed voice:  
"T'is for the squirrels."  
Regina snickered at the boy. She had overheard Robin venting to her about the vermin in camp to one of his men. The squirrels –tree rats he had called them- were apparently especially hard to wipe out. She doubted that Robin would be happy with the idea of his son feeding the same vermin that he had been trying fervently to wipe out. Roland gave her a toothy smile, apparently happy that his story had gotten a laugh out of Regina, although he was oblivious to the exact reason.  
She had nearly finished her breakfast when a loud shout made her startle and drop the remainder of her bread into her bowl of soup. She had been vigorously taught not to swear by her mother, so she made a grumbling-slash-yelping noise instead. She heard a loud whistle and then another shout in a language she could not comprehend. When she looked up she saw two of Robin's men standing near a dozen feet away from them. They laughed and eyed her with a look that made shivers run down her back. Robin was on his feet and marching towards them within seconds, angrily talking to them in the same language. It was a language that Regina had not heard before as such, but the sound of it was vaguely familiar to the accent Robin and his men spoke with. While the accent was melodious and rolled around the vowels, deepened and heightened sounds, this language seemed crafted solely from these sounds. Like the accent; the language sounded raspy, dangerous but also melodious and soft, it sounded ancient. Now, however, Robin spat it angrily at his man and there was little melody in it, the language seemed to form itself to the angry words and consisted out of many guttural sounds that resembled the sound of some animals. The two men quickly mumbled an apology before darting off and Robin stalked back towards their place, angrily sitting down and biting his lip for a second before turning to her. "Apologies. Idiots think because they speak three words in Ancient Sylvan they can prance around and insult everybody who does not." He turned towards his wife and rolls his eyes. "They speak it badly too. I swear, the Sylvan lords would be appalled."

Regina cocked her head and raised her eyebrows in question. Robin's tales about the Sherwood forest had interested her and she had found herself desiring to hear more about the history of this obviously centuries old story. She felt Roland huddle towards her and suspected that the boy had heard the story before, but was eager to hear it again. Robin caught her gaze and smiled, nodding slowly as he understood; "The Sylvans were the first to inhabit these forests. We do not actually know if they had a name for themselves and what they called themselves if they did; the term Sylvans was actually created by the city dwellers who wiped out the last of them a long time ago. The sylvan did not write and oral traditions have gone lost with their demise, so most things we know about them comes from the same conquerors that drove them out until they eventually went extinct." There was an undeniable tone of bitterness in his voice and he shook his head. "Like I said, we have little sources from the Sylvans themselves, so we don't know if there's truth in the stories we do have; but according to the old texts they were intertwined with the forest in every aspect of their being: some conquerors described them as resembling trees when they stood still, while others claim that they were powerful sorcerers who could bring trees to life. It is possible, of course, that the former explains the latter. Anyway; the exact motive the humans had for driving out the Sylvans is also not exactly known, but all stories define it as having something to do with the human fear of the unknown." He sighed. "And that's how an centuries old tribe got driven to extinction, taking nearly everything of their culture with them."

"That's horrible." Regina agreed with Robin's silent statement. She felt Roland cling towards her tightly as he still listened intently to the adults next to him talking. Regina frowned as she let the information she had received sink in, before she asked: "But If there is no writing in Sylvan language, how is it you speak it then?"  
Robin nodded slowly, as if agreeing with the premise of her question. "The language was also recorded by these same conquerors; you see they desired to trade with the forest-dwellers at first and many wise men studied the language of the forest. And wise men do what they do: they write books. Centuries after the Sylvans had gone extinct the library were the books on Sylvan culture were kept, got raided by a party of outlaws. After this the group of escaped prisoners, religious outcasts and overall unwanted human beings massed to the Sherwood forests, because it was near impossible for the King's justice to reach there. They found the explanations of Sylvan language in the texts and started to use it as a secret language." He chuckled. "And that, milady, is our ancestry. A bunch of outlaws and a stolen language. And yet my dad was surprised I took to thieving." He chuckled, but there was an unmistakable bitterness in his voice over the fate that had befallen the previous inhabitants of his home. "Eventually the Sylvan language eroded and only the accent remained, our ancestors taking on the common tongue. Traditionally only the Lord of the Sherwood forests has to learn to speak ancient Sylvan, so I do, but some of my men also desired to learn it, probably to nag those who do not speak it." He rolled his eyes and turned towards her, his face morphed in an expression of grave seriousness.  
"I pains me that many of my men think they can show such disrespect towards you, milady. They should respect you as their queen, for that is what you are. They are pigheaded idiots and I make my apologies for them." He shook his head. "If only they knew I owed my life to you."  
Regina gave a wry smile. Robin had named her the queen of the Sherwood forest, but the title still rang as hollow as the day it first got pinned upon her. Some of the men had come to respect her slightly, like Devin, who had led her to Robin that one fateful night that felt long ago, but was only last night in reality. Cora had told her that being Robin's queen would come with wealth and respect, but if Regina was honest, she still had neither. In reality all she really had was Robin and she was not even sure to the extent of the relationship that was forming between them.  
"What did they say?" Regina asked and Robin pursed his lips into a thin line, a streak of anger shining in his eyes for a split second before he shook his head.  
"It matters not." He told her, but his tone told her that he wished not to repeat the words his men had said. The idea that she had been insulted and had no idea what they had said made her stomach churn. Cora had taught her that it mattered more than anything what other people thought of her, because it was other people that formed the ladder towards greatness. She wondered briefly if Roland could understand ancient Sylvan and coincidentally hoped that he did not.

"Milady I'm afraid I have to take my leave." Robin stood up and walked towards her, kissing her hand before turning to Roland and kissing his boy on the head. "Mhairi will see that you receive whatever you desire." He gave her a soft smile and dropped to his hunches in front of his son. "Roland, make sure not to bother the lady overmuch. Little John has promised to teach you tracking today has he not?" Roland pouted when Robin ordered him not to bother Regina, but his face lit up at the mention of little John. Regina had seen little John around camp plenty in the course of the past two weeks. He was hard to miss, after all. With his sizeable posture the guy was hardly suitable to hunt from the treetops like Robin's rangers were accustomed to, but the man was surprisingly talented at tracking and would often accompany hunter's groups as they went out in search of prey. It was odd to see the rather large figure accompanying the slim, shadowy rangers, but they joked and laughed like the best of friends. Robin stood up and gave her a final smile before leaving them, venturing into the woods on his own. Regina knew that the Sherwood Forests held no surprise for robin, but the idea of him venturing into them on his own still unnerved her.

"Your majesty." Her ears peered up at the still unusual title that was rarely used to address her. She couldn't help but smile as she took in the face of the timid yet somehow courageous fifteen-year-old brunette. Mhairi smiled back at her timidly and gave a larger smile to Roland afterwards, who Regina could just see waving at her in the corner of her eye. "Would you permit me to ask you how you are doing?" Mhairi asked, weighing her words carefully in an display of respect that Regina had not come to know from most of the members of the tribe.  
"I permit you." Regina answered simply and she couldn't help but chuckle a bit at Mhairi's slight blush. "I'm fine." She added to her statement. It was not exactly the truth, but it also was not near as much of a lie as it had once been.  
"I'm too!" Roland chimed from behind her and Mhairi laughed, dropping towards Roland's level and whispering to him: "How are the squirrels today?" Roland happily drew his hand from his pocket and showed a handful of nuts he had peeled from the bread towards her. Mhairi chuckled much like Regina had. "I bet they're going to love that." She said, ruffling his brown hair before turning back to Regina. "Milady, I have been so free to clear the river for you, if you desire to bathe." She said and Regina felt her spirits lift at the idea of a bath. Sure, the water would be cold and the knife would feel rough upon her skin, but the events of the previous night seemed to have left a layer of sweat and magic upon her skin that she could not wish to be rid of. She nodded thankfully at Mhairi, who had been the first one to be kind to her when she'd arrived, even before Robin. "Thank you Mhairi." She told the girl and it was filled with gratitude for far more than just her attentive service.

* * *

As she reached the river she was pleased to find it indeed empty and unused. Mhairi would always try to clean out the river before she wished to bathe, but Regina had had to order Robin's men to leave the river many times over anyway during the last few weeks. When she had, they would obey, but it always came with the necessary annoyance, tardiness and overall lack of respect towards her. Frankly it was quite disheartening to find her status as a queen respected so little every other morning, so it was a pleasant surprise when it was actually abandoned.

Mhairi had supplied her with the mixture of salt and oil and a rough towel, while Regina herself had brought Robin's bone-crafted knife and her dress of choice. She had chosen her favorite light dress last night, but after hearing the disrespect in the voices of Robin's men, had chosen another dress. Her eyed had lingered upon the beautiful, imposing black dress that Mhairi had laid out for her earlier. Her eyes had lingered upon the dress for a second, contemplating if she should pick the dress that would grant her increased authority over Robin's men. She knew it would make her look like the queen she was, but black had never been her color, so she had decided against it. She had, however, also decided that the time for lithe princess dresses was full and well over and had instead picked a dress that felt like a nice compromise between the two: it was a velvet red dress with elaborate black embroidery, tailored to hug around the gentle curves of her forming woman's body. It was stunningly beautiful and would certainly make her look like a queen, whilst not being as dark or intimidating as the black one. She gently laid down the dress on one of the large, black rocks and let her gown and sleepwear glide from her shoulders towards the golden grass surrounding the riverbed. She toyed with Robin's knife for a second, before putting it down on the rock next to the mixture. She would not need it yet. She had grown accustomed to bathing alone and as she stepped into the water, the cold did not seem to hit her that hard anymore. Robin had some baths with her, as was his duty, but had refused to take of the last layer of clothing that covered Regina's body, even after Regina had assured him that she did not mind. It was curious, that in such a tribe were nudity and communal bathing did not seem to be a prudence, her own husband did not wish to bear his wife to him. Yet she accepted his wishes and he remained as gentle with her as he had been the first time as he taught her to bathe herself and him both. Often, however, she would still bathe alone and at a rare occasion with Mhairi to assist her, especially when her hair needed to be washed. Regina did not mind those times alone as much; in those times the river had become a recluse from the crowded encampment.

She sighed as she felt the water flow over her skin, taking away the burning sting that had been left after the events the day before had branded her. It was still cold, chilling her to the bone, but the cold did not bother her that much anymore. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the stream of the river around her, not hard enough to take her with it, but strong enough to pull at her, ask her by the hand to follow its path. The river touched her both like a gentle lover and a reprimanding mother, caressing in some places while stinging in others. It had no name, Robin had told her, or they had not named it. Robin had said, however, that it was the most precious gold in all the forest. He told her that no animal was to be killed drinking from the river, no matter how easy prey it would be, because the river was what granted them all life and connected them all. Killing anything for the sole reason of being alive was against the philosophy is the forest and thus not acceptable. In that way the river was literally a refuge, Regina mused, a place where no harm would befall any living creature. It was a reassuring thought, she mused, as she opened her hands to let the water flow through her fingers.

"Well well, look, if it isn't the miracle sorceress." She startled at the familiar voice and panic rose so quickly in her throat like bile that she would actually have gagged If her insides had not felt filled with ice. She felt a strong surge of magic kick through her body her heart reared in both terror and anger. When her eyes opened themselves of their own accord she saw the imp sitting on the rock where her dress had been laid, the velvet peeking out from under his crossed legs. Rumplestiltskin giggled manically and eyed her with abandon, letting his eyes roam over her bared body with almost feral interest. Regina immediately lifted her hands to cover her breasts from his sight, only to find purple magic springing from her fingertips like sparks from blades crashed together. She shook her hands instinctively as if they were on fire, but the sparks did not subside and flared just like the fear in her heart did. Rumplestiltskin's giggling only increased at her futile attempts and the imp did not quit his staring, his eyes growing wider and more eager as he took in the magic that demanded to be let out from the young queen's fingers.  
"Oh dear that looks like a problem. You could hurt someone with that if you're not careful." Rumplestiltskin told her with feigned shock that sounded more mocking than anything else. He stood up from the rock and prowled towards her like a predator towards his prey. Then he was gone in a haze of smoke, before appearing right in front of her. He stood so close to her that she could nearly feel his breath against her and the proximity of him made a chill ran through her bones that was a thousand times colder than the river of magic could ever be. His gaze travelled down her body, lingering a second too long upon her breasts and waist before landing upon her hands, where sparks were increasingly flying from her fingertips as Regina fought her fear and anger towards the imp. Rumplestiltskin took her lithe, gentle hands in his own scaled, monstrous ones and caressed her fingertips in a perverted sense of admiration.  
"Oh this will do just fine." He murmured more to himself than to her, giving her a grin of hideous yellowed, dull golden teeth. The urge to gag manifested itself inside Regina again, but she forced herself to remain upright, to not bow to the wiles of this horrid creature. The forest would protect her, she told herself, the forest and the river and Robin, they would protect her against whatever this imp would do to her.  
The magic whispered it was a lie.

She ignored his remark, not wanting to know whatever the imp meant by his words, instead answering to his previous statement. She pulled her hands back from him and it took great effort to keep herself from hitting the imp as punishment for touching and staring at her. But Regina was not a foolish girl and knew power when she saw it. She would not win a fight with this creature, so starting one was unwise. Instead she gathered her courage and remembered the words her mother told her: _'always keep your composure dear, a woman men bed and wed, but a beast they will behead."_  
It was certainly a shame that Cora had never taken learning her own advice.

"I do not desire to use my magic, Imp. I will not harm anyone with it." The words 'unlike my mother' went unspoken, but she knew from the gleam in Rumplestiltskin's eyes that he had heard them nonetheless. He giggled manically and suddenly one of his hands was against her throat as she closed in on her, the fabric of his clothing just centimeters from touching her breasts.  
"It's not about what you want, dearie." He repeated the words spoken earlier after Regina had refused to rip out Robin's heart and they both knew it. _Knew_ that Rumplestiltskin had won that fight just as he was going to win this one. "It's not about you, it's about the people that are going to get hurt in your place." He tightened his hold around her neck until Regina had to gasp for breath, feeling the imp's nails piercing her skin. "I have given you a gift; a way to protect them against your mother. I can teach you to control your magic, Regina, and you will be stronger than your mother ever was." He leant towards her, pulling her closer to him by the neck until he could whisper in her ear. "Do you really think sticks and stones will bring your mother down? Robin cannot free you of your mother, but I can. If you let me teach you." He let her go abruptly and gazed into her eyes with such ferocity that it made Regina startle back so fast the almost tripped and fell backwards into the water.  
"Do we have a deal?" Rumplestiltskin giggled manically again, his gaze never leaving her, trailing over her body as if she had the right to possess it, to use it as he pleased. Regina straightened her shoulders, she magic inside her screaming to eradicate him, to kill this creature and be done with it.  
"Begone vile creature." She spat at him and for once, she let the magic free. She had expected practicing magic to be hard, but it came as natural as breathing to her right then. A fireball flying from her fingertips without a warning, hurtling towards the imp. Rumplestiltskin disappeared within seconds, leaving no trace but his manic giggling that continued to linger in the air for minutes after he'd disappeared.

Her hands tingled with the magic that had surged through them and her heart roared. Her body felt both frozen and set alight at the same time and tears formed in Regina's eyes at the sensation of the magic having been set free in her body.  
Because she _loved _it.

* * *

She scraped her skin with the knife until it got red. Even after the oil had been all used up she continued to use the knife on his skin, desperately trying to wash off both the horrid sensation of the imp touching her, and something that was almost pleasure that the magic had left tingling upon it. After her skin was red, scraped and sore she dried herself off with the rough towel until it hurt and the pain drove out the pleasurable feeling of the magic. She put on the velvet dress and tightened the corset as tight as she could do herself, as if she were punishing herself for that one moment of weakness. She then sat upon the same rock that the creature had sat and watched the river, silently reproaching it, the Sherwood forest and most of all Robin for not protecting her.

Robin only found her hours later. She had heard some of Robin's men coming in, but a glare in their direction had sent them scattering back. She would laugh at the absurdness of the situation because of course they'd respect her _now_, but it was too bitter and sore to laugh about. Robin found her still sitting on the rock by the riverside and was next to her in a few hurried paces, looking every bit the concerned husband that he seemed to aspire to be.  
"Regina, are you all right?" He gazed up and down her body, evidently looking for some kind of injury. He could obviously tell something was wrong with her, but also could not point out the source of her distress. The long sleeved dress covered the raw, red skin of her arms, so Robin could not see the harm she had caused herself in the river. He turned himself to face her and dropped down towards her level, much like he did with Roland. "You're worried." He concluded and Regina could barely hold back a sarcastic laugh because _worried_ was an understatement at this point. She was terrified of everything: Rumplestiltskin, Cora but most of all of herself.  
"Milady, I will not let harm come to you or to anyone else. I promise you." He told her once again and she could tell the earnest in his voice. These were not the empty promises of a dutiful husband; Robin truly believed them. She smiled softly at him, but also remembered how the same man had not been there just hours earlier when Rumplestiltskin could have snapped her neck with ease.  
"You won't always be there to protect me." She told him. Robin nodded.  
"That's why you need to able to protect yourself." He said with a smile. Regina's eyes flicked down to her fingertips, surely Robin could not mean that she would take up on the imp's offer? Yet the magic had saved Robin's life and had protected her against the imp. She despised it, yet it had protected her better even than Robin himself.

Robin shook his head and with a somewhat proud smile procured a beautiful bow from behind is back. It was smaller than his bow, thinner and lighter looking. The bows of Robin and his men were carved from the stone hard, black Dragonswood and were said to be the finest in the lands, but this bow was a light, almost creamy cold color that Regina had seen in no tree in the forest before. It was elegantly crafted and adorned only with the slightest rimming of gold where the strong met the curved wood. When she looked closer, however, engravings similar to the ones on her knife were carved all through the bow around what seemed to be a grip.  
"It's … beautiful." She breathed as Robin took her hands and folded it around the bow. It was light and she felt it thrumming nearly unperceivably against the palm of her hand, as if the wood itself had a pulse.  
"It's carved from the wood of an ancient tree that grows in the center of the Sherwood valley. The wood it said to inhabit magical powers, there is a story about a man who carved a puppet from it and wished for it to come to life, the tree granted the man his wish and the puppet lived." He placed his hands on Regina's, caressing the curve of the bow gently with the tips of his fingers before trailing his other hand over the arm holding it. "It will protect you. Once you know how to use it, it will never miss." He promised her. Regina gazed in awe at the bow, feeling the power thrum beneath the wood that had been crafted specially for her. When she turned back towards Robin she saw him smiling at her as he gently took the bow from her hands and laid it carefully on her lap.  
"One is not considered a true member of the Sherwood tribe until they learn to use a bow. Allow me to teach you, milady." He professed, taking both her hands in his, wrapping his own strong fingers around her lithe ones. "You're right; I may not always there to protect you, but allow me to teach you how to protect yourself."

Regina could not find the words to answer him as her heart surged at his words and her eyes blurred. Instead she placed her hands on either side of his face and gazed into his eyes for a split second before pulling him towards her and pressing a kiss against his mouth, smiling against his lips for only a second before she pulled back. "I will." She answered him, trailing her fingers through his hair to pull him closer to her. "Thank you." She whispered against his lips before softly pressing another kiss against his lips. Robin gasped against her lips in surprise, before allowing his hands to travel through her hair, pulling her towards him until the only thing keeping them apart was the bow in Regina's lap.  
She felt the soft caress of his lips against her, the thrum of his pulse against her fingertips, the own frantic beat of her heart and the faint pulsing of the bow on her lap. She smiled against his mouth and Robin joined her, pulling back for a minute to gaze into her eyes. She gazed back and for the first time in a long time she could feel the surge of something ancient that she had banned a long time ago set free in her heart again. She had silenced it for fear of her mother taking it away, but right now even that fear could not keep out the love that Robin professed for her by touching her lips.  
She allowed it in, allowed herself to feel it without fear. For just a short while she allowed herself to forget about her mother, about the imp and about the curse of magic

because she never felt safer in her life.

* * *

**AN. Super long chapter, but I really wanted to include both of the choices that Regina has been offered to protect herself against Cora. I would love your speculations/opinions: did Regina make the right choice? Did she actually _reject_ Rumplestiltskin's deal? Will she take up Rumple on his deal? Will a bow be enough to hold back Cora? Also Rumple being a creep is canon for me, the way he interacts with young Regina on the show gives me the shivers, so that is why is such a creep in this story too, haha.  
**

**I love reviews, they keep me writing. And as always: thank you for reading =)**


	11. Chapter 11

Her fingers ached and she felt blisters starting to form in the crease between them where the string of the bow would skate past after release. She felt the wood digging into the palm of her hands, even the smooth grip where she held it somehow cutting into her skin. Her entire body was sore, aching in places that she was not aware could hurt like they did at all and pulling back the string wreaked havoc upon her shoulder and arm. It had been near a week ago that Robin had given her a bow, and he was as patient a teacher as any. He had first taught her to use the bow the day after he had first given it to her and the lesson had been discouraging to say the least. She had been firing arrows that day until she could not find the strength to pull back the string anymore, and only a few odd ones had found their way even remotely in the vicinity of the target. Most of the arrows had copped out halfway through her flight and drove themselves head-first into the ground. Robin had stayed calm and encouraging next to her, but she could tell his slight bewilderment at Regina's prowess, or lack thereof, with a bow. Robin had taught many men and women to fire a bow, but they had all been born with the archery in their blood and bows in their hands. To them, firing a bow came as natural as walking or talking, but to Regina it was like he was asking the caged bird to take flight. The next day he had given her the bow in hand, but withheld the arrows from her.

"I have been going at this the wrong way." He had explained to her and they had spent hours on her stance alone. When Robin had drilled her on the position, left side towards the target, straight with her shoulders squared and with as few strain on her back as she could manage, he taught her how to hold the bow and arrows between her fingers until her head was pounding. With his coaching she had eventually managed to make a few arrows hit the target, but after he'd disappeared neither had found their destination again.

After the fourth day of practicing, Robin, lying next to her in bed, had noticed the immense strain upon her muscles, the way she flinched and cringed whenever she moved. Her body had been carrying the strain since the second day, but she had been able to hide it from him before. Robin had taken her by the hand and carefully moved his hands to her shoulders, trailing down her back, feeling the knots and tight strain that she carried there. He had lain her down upon their bed without a word, working the tired and tight muscles of her back with his hands. He had been gentle at first, but eventually rough to the point of hurting her. He had massaged her for what felt like hours until her tired body had sighed and moaned in relief and she had fallen asleep. When she awoke that morning Robin had told her to stay in back and rest, he had forbidden her to practice archery for the next two days for fear of seriously harming her body. Regina had managed to leave her bow untouched for the fifth day, feeling only the whispers of the pain that had been wrecking her body the previous day. She had instead spent that day with Roland, smiling at his jokes and secretly feeding the squirrels with the boy. It had been a wonderful day, but it had also been a reminder.

So she had taken up the bow again on the sixth day as soon as Robin had left camp to go out on a hunting trip. He had massaged her again the night before, working out the last knots and pains until she had melted underneath his hands. She had woken up feeling energized and stronger than ever, but Robin shaken his head at her requests to resume her practice for fear of hurting the newly healed muscles once again. He had been right, Regina realized on somewhat of a bitter note as she struggled to draw back the string with her sore muscles. The strain had begun to set in after an hour of training and had gotten progressively worse after the next two, until it was near unbearable again. The magic inside her screamed that all of this was unnecessary, that another, far more potent method of protection laid underneath the tips of her fingers, that all she needed to do was release it. She refused to listen, steeling herself with the idea of Rumplestiltskin of her mother. She had always learnt from the once she hated the most, after all.  
She felt her arms tremble with the effort of keeping the bow up high and bit her lip in concentration, holding her breath for a few seconds before letting the arrow loose, watching it fly from the bow and hit the target in the middle.

Or it would have, if the golden tipped, dark stepped arrow had come from her. Unfortunately, the arrows that flew from her bow were a lighter red wood ripped with bronze. They were practice arrows, while this was an hunting arrow and there was little question who it belonged to. She sighed and turned around, not in the least bit surprised to find her husband standing several hundred yards away from her, both bow and eyebrows raised. She didn't even try to look apologetic or defiant when he approached her, only reaching one eyebrow to match his, awaiting his reaction.  
"Milady. Do my eyes betray me or is that a bow in your hands?" Robin asked when he reached her and while there was a slight hint of disapproval in his voice, he also seemed to be unable to withhold the smirk from his mouth. He slowly stretched out his hand towards her shoulder, trailing it down her arm and frowning. "Don't get me wrong, milady, I like the sight of you handing a bow, but I doubt your body appreciates it as much as I do." He said, his smirk morphing into a slightly worried line as he pressed his fingers against the curve of her shoulders and saw her wince at the pressure. He trailed his fingers down to her left hand, still clutching the bow tightly and gently pried the bow away from her fingers. He gently took her hand in his and traced his fingers over the raw skin in the palm of her hands, the blisters between her fingers. "Enough for today." He told her, sounding more authoritative than she had ever heard him sound. Of course by the laws she knew, he was entitled to command her to moment he had taken her his wife, but he had rarely done so apart from forbidding her to practice archery earlier. He gently took her by the hand and shook his head taking in the equally battered palm of her right hand. "Come, we need to treat this." He commanded her, leaving no question and taking her back to their tent.

He sat her down on the bed as soon as they arrived and Regina could not help sagging into it as soon as the soft fabric touched her skin. Her body screamed for her to lie down and sleep for days, but Regina was still a lady and a stubborn one at that, so she would not give into the shameful desires of her body. Robin joined her on the bed within minutes, carrying a few pots with herbs, a steaming bowl of water, some towels and bandages with him. He did not speak to her as the took a few red-golden leaves between his teeth and chewed them for a few seconds, taking the mushed herbs back into his hands to apply to the palm of her hands. Only then he seemed to realize that Regina was not as accustomed to the healing ways of the forest, raising his eyebrows in question at her. Regina nodded and couldn't help a soft laugh escaping her mouth. Nobody had ever bothered to treat any of her wounds in years earlier, least of all her mother, did he really think she would mind the _way_ he was going to treat her? Robin applied the mushed herbs on both of her palms, repeating the process with leaves with other smells and colors. Afterwards he carefully rubbed the gathered layer of herbs into her skin, only washing it off after a few minutes with cold water. Afterwards he wrapped both her hands in bandages to allow them to heal in peace. He laughed when he saw Regina both sigh in relief and eye her bandages hands with a frown.  
"I did tell you not to practice, milady, it's only the prize of your stubbornness." He told her, trying to sound neither amusing nor disapproving, instead gently moving his fingers upwards and massaging the tired flesh of her arms with his fingers. Regina did not answer him. She knew that he had been right to have her rest for a few days until her muscles were fully restored, but also could not understand Robin's calmness. The threat of Cora was still looming over them and until she learnt to use the bow, she would be at her mother's mercy. She told Robin as much.

He replied by taking her by the shoulders and straightening her to look in his eyes. "Milady, I _will _protect you. I swear, your mother will not harm anyone in this camp for as long as I live." He stared into Regina's eyes, but his words could not take away the doubt that lingered there. He understood; Regina had been raised in fear of Cora, no matter how hard he tried, he could not take that away from her. Instead he dug his fingers into the tired flesh of her shoulders and watched the strain and then the relief on his wife's face as he worked out the muscles as he had the nights before.  
"I cannot allow you to destroy yourself in fear of your mother, Regina." He stared into her eyes and Regina bit her lip at the intensity of his gaze. She had not told him of her meeting with Rumplestiltskin, had not told him of the night she had lain in bed next to him pondering the possibility of learning to control her magic. Her words rang in her head and she realized that they were probably the exact words he would speak if she were to tell him about the magic. So she didn't. Instead she nodded solemnly and allowed him to turn her around and slip the jacket from her shoulders until her torso was only clad in a white top. He trailed his fingers over the fabric and softly moved to pull it up to reveal her back to him. He had massaged her tired back through the fabric of her nightgown earlier and had not asked to bear her skin for him before. Yet she consented easily, the prospect of his hands upon her back mellowing her before he had even touched her. Robin carefully lifted the shirt, working it over arms and shoulders easily, baring her back to him.

She expected to feel his hands upon her back, so she was surprised to feel the heat of a towel pressing against her tired muscles. She hissed in pleasure at the warmth against her skin. She nearly forgotten the feeling of warm water running dripping against her skin, only taking cold baths in the river. As she felt the warmth of the towels soothing her tired muscles, flowery aroma's started to fill the room. About half a minute later, Robin lifted up the towel to reveal her lower back and pressed his hands against her skin, digging his thumbs against the strained muscles. Regina gasped at the sensation, feeling Robin's warm, strong hands against the bare skin of her back for the first time, but quickly sighed in relief and moaned softly at the pleasurable feeling of her body unwinding. Robin tirelessly moved up her body, the strong movements of his hands on her back never faltering until he reached her shoulders. He kneaded them with expert precision and Regina already felt boneless, almost liquid underneath his hands as she sighed in pleasure. Robin worked down her back again, using the palms of his hands to rub in the fragrant oil that smelled like lavender and roses into her skin until she could not feel it upon her skin anymore. He moved his hands down and hesitantly stopped at the rim of her trousers. Regina knew that Robin would never ask for her to take them off, but she was enjoying his touch for too much to have him halt it, so she simply gestured in the direction of the pants and hummed in approval. Robin's hand were careful and gentle and perhaps slightly hesitant as he pulled the trousers down over the curve of her backside, baring her long legs for him. Robin trailed his hands over her buttocks gently, intent on travelling down to her legs, but Regina pushed herself up slightly from the bed, signaling for him to halt his travel. She was far past caring where this man could and could not touch her, willing to put her entire body under his hands as long as he could keep touching her like this. Robin agreed silently, roughly but carefully moving his hands over the cheeks of her ass, finding the strong muscles buried underneath and working them loose with his thumbs and palms. After a handful of minutes, Robin moved his hands further down and started kneading the strong flesh of her thighs using his knuckles to roll the flesh and press down upon the muscles. He worked her calves until her legs felt completely boneless and finally softly massaged her feet and toes with gentle pulls and pushes that had her sighing in pleasure. When he stopped to wash his hands in the bowl of water and wipe them down, Regina moaned softly in complaint at the loss of contact and Robin chuckled.  
"That good, Milady?" He said jokingly and all Regina could do was hum of approval into the mattress. Her body was utterly relaxed and boneless, but also somehow buzzing and trembling in all the right places. The pleasure on his skin was comparable to the feeling that had been there when he had used magic, but lighter, less heavily weighing upon her skin. She sighed and closed her eyes, but opened them just as fast as she felt Robin's presence waver. Slowly she turned around and sat up on the bed, pulling the covers over the curve of her breasts, but leaving her shoulders and collarbones bare. She had half a mind to consider that it might slide off, but could not found herself to care. The covers had been slightly rucked off and only draped over the body, barring some of her lover legs to him. She did not try to cover up any more, oddly curious to Robin's response. Her husband had turned around to leave the tent and somehow Regina had no desire for him to leave, rather a desire for him to return to her side, to return his hands to her body and never let her go. She knew that it was a silly and ultimately selfish request, but still she called him back with a soft voice, barely audible. Yet he heard, turning around and stepping back to her, cocking his head in question. Perhaps it was that his touch had mellowed her, sent her thoughts reeling to where she could not catch them, but she was hit by how handsome he actually was. He was still clad in his hunting tunic: a dark, simple outfit that clung to his body and gave her a good show of the muscles that played underneath his dark shirt. He had taken off his jacket, giving her a good show of his arms. They were not overly muscular, like some of the fighters back at her home, but they were strong and firm; she had felt it when they had touched her. His eyes were a stormy combination of blue and grey, twinkling even when there was little light, as if they carried a light of themselves. He shared his son's dimples that made her heart melt, and when he gave her a questioning smile they showed in their full glory. He had not shaved for a few days, leaving a bit more of a stubble than he usually had to match his dark hair. Her heart fluttered at the sight and she would usually tamper it down, but her resolve had mellowed along with her body and she could not bring herself to stop it. When her eyes met Robin's she could see a shining of things unknown to her in his eyes, something stormy beneath the surface that made her heart tremble , he seemed to search for words for a second before finally breathing out; "You're really beautiful, milady." There was a slight crack in his voice and he did not move closer towards her, frozen to the ground. "Now I will take my leave, for I wish to remain a gentleman." There was something dark in his voice that matched the storm in his eyes and Regina bit her lip at him.

"Must you?" She asked, sitting up even more and allowing the covers to slide down, baring her breasts to him. She cocked her head and smiled at him, a hint of teasing playing on her lips. She saw Robin swallow thickly, fighting with himself to keep his gaze away from her body.  
"Yes." He told her on a single breath. He was silent for a long time after his breathy admission, before finally telling her on nearly a whisper: "You are … you're seventeen, Regina."  
"I'm your wife." She retorted. Her mouth ran alongside her heart, completely bypassing her brain on the go. For once her mind was pleasantly empty, only buzzing with the pleasure that Robin had infused towards it through her skin. Her body was trembling in anticipation of something more. She wasn't even sure what and did not desire to think about it either.  
Robin, however, did not seen to share her blissful state of mind, his lips pressing down into a thin line. "Yes, and you did not choose to be." He simply told her, walking towards her and pulling the cover up over her breasts. Regina's breath hitched at the touch and she gazed into his eyes expectantly, seeing the restraint etched in Robin's face. When he raised his hand towards her face she felt the tension in there as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "You're feeling good Regina, and that's the point." He chuckled, but there was yet a strain in it, as if he was somehow holding it back. "And your body it wants a lot right now, but …" He sighed, bit his lip and held back his words for a long time before he continued on a strained breath. "But _this_ … I do this for love, Regina. Love and nothing less."  
He held her eyes with his own and Regina let out a shuddering breath at his gaze and words. She slowly nodded, understanding what he meant. Regina had shared her bed and body with one man before, and he had barely been a man; rather a brown eyed and gentle hearted stable boy. They had both been too young to doubt the young love blooming between them, to understand the consequences that their young affair that bring them. She still wore the reminder around her neck. Robin was old enough to understand, and so he was old enough to apprehend, even when her mind was too mellowed to do it herself. While a part of her still craved his touch, another part was thankful that he was so almost frustratingly gallant with her. He was right; He wanted her love and she was only just starting to feel it growing in her own heart, afraid to give it to him. So she smiled at him instead, lifting her hand to pull him towards her and pressing her lips to his in a whisper. "Thank you." She sighed against his lips and she felt Robin's twist into a smile underneath hers.  
"It's my pleasure." He told her, his voice still somewhat raspy and it sent shivers down her spine. She mentally scolded her body, because Robin was right, they were not ready to share their bodies if they could not yet share their hearts.  
One day, she promised herself, they would.

One day she would be brave enough to love him.


	12. Chapter 12

Regina was, perhaps for the first time in her life, truly relaxed, her mind blissfully empty and unaware of the dangers that lingered outside the warm safety of her tent. Robin had gently kissed her goodbye and had departed, telling her that he could not linger with her in the midst of the day, no matter how much he wished. He had also told her to stay in the tent and get some sleep, perhaps read a book and Regina had been too comfortable and drowsy to protest, instead gazing at him from under thick lashes, taking in the strong muscles that had brought her the pleasure her body was still faintly tingling with. So she was left alone in the tent, lingering in a state somewhere between reality and the world of her dreams. She breathed in deeply, allowing the smells of the tent to full her heart with the warmth that she longed to keep there for as long as she could; it smelled like lavender and wild roses, like the pine needles of the forest and the faint waft of sweat, a reminder of the tireless labor that Robin had performed to make her feel better. She sighed happily and closed her eyes, pulling the sheets up towards her nose and smelling the sheets. They smelled different, more like him; a mix of forest, morning sweat and the smell of the wild's hunt. It was an odd, but not unwelcome realization that she probably would smell like that someday too, since the people of the forest rarely used oils or perfumes to scent themselves. The oils Robin had used on her had obviously been an exception. Cora had always made her take steaming hot baths that made her skin a glowering red and would make her use a great variety of oils and perfumes to make her smell appeasing, many of which would leave sting upon her skin and leave the battered cost of beauty behind. Yet it was important, Cora had said and she had listened. She smiled, opening her eyes and looking at the shadows of trees dancing against the canvas ceiling of her tent, allowing the soothing movements to draw her eyes closed and lull her into a dreamless, gentle sleep.

She was awoken by a presence, a shadow lingering over her, blocking the light that had fallen upon her eyelids earlier, tickling them softly, daring them to open and come and play. Now the darkness touched them, but she opened her eyes against it. She curved her mouth into a smile, expecting her husband to stand by her bedside much like he had earlier in what still felt like a dream rather than a memory.  
The truth made her eyes fly open, driving out every good thing about that memory, that dream. Because standing at the foot of her bed was not Robin, not Roland, not even one of Robin's merry men that still scared her at some occasions. Standing there, casting a shadow in what before had been a room bathed in light, was Cora.

She wanted to scream, but her voice caught in her throat as her mother sauntered towards her bed, her body betraying her and she scooted bed towards the head of the bed. Suddenly she was not the queen anymore, she was back to the little girl that wanted to please her mother, or else would suffer the consequences. Cora for her part gave an almost in perceivable smirk, apparently satisfied with her daughter's reaction as she strode through the room, running her fingers over the artifacts and curiosities in the tent. Her eyes especially lingered upon a charcoal drawing of Roland with his father, both smiling with twinkling eyes and identical dimples. Her mother lifted her finger towards the drawing and smoothed her finger over the charcoaled lines, leaving a smudge over the side of Roland's face. Anger reared its head in Regina's heart at that moment, briefly overtaking her deep-rooted fear for this woman that she called her mother. She forced herself to sit up straight on the bed, like her mother had taught her and mustered her courage.  
"That does not belong to you." She snapped, not wanting to do her mother the pleasure of addressing the reason of her visit, or, for that matter, her poisoning if Robin. She did not desire to hear her mother's reasons, she had heard enough of her mother's wicked tales to know that there was little truth to them anyway. Cora laughed, _cackled_ and walked towards her daughter, stroking her cheek with a gentleness that left Regina's heart shaking more than a stinging touch would ever be able to. She feared her mother, but yet the part of the little hopeful girl in her wanted to please her mother, to be told she was a good girl, to be rewarded with lemon cakes and riding lessons. Part of her was just the little girl that just wanted to be loved by her mother more than anything.  
Cora laughed at the little girl, laughed at her the same way she laughed at the queen and shook her head. "Foolish girl. It belongs to you, and you belong to me. I own all of this." She gestured around the tent and pursed her lips, taking in the sight of her daughter. "For all it's worth."

Regina was seated on her bed, bare, covers desperately pulled up towards her chin to protect her body from her mother. Yet her daughter managed to keep her head up high, to stare into her eyes like the young girl she had offered to Robin just months ago never could. The forest had taken residence up in her daughter and it shone in her eyes with a ferocity and strength that Cora had not seen there for some time, not since she crushed the foolish stable boy's heart. Yet hope was as freely taken away as it was given, Cora mused. Once the outlaw was gone, she would rip the forest from her daughter, quench the fire simmering in her soul; she would break her as she always had and her daughter would be obedient, as was her nature, her birthright.

"Leave now, mother, or I call the guards." She sounded like the forest and Cora chuckled, moving towards the bed and forcing Regina to the headboard with a simple flick of her fingers. Regina instantly felt the familiar sensation of a ghostly hand clenching her throat and she gasped for breath, the fire of courage in her soul already sputtering to stay alive as she tried to pry off the invisible hand squeezing the life from her. The sheet slipped down from her body, baring the breasts that she had shown so freely to Robin before to her mother by force. She gasped as the cold air hit her body and uselessly battered her arms against the headboard in an attempt to free them. She screamed for help, but knew that her voice would not reach the outside of the tent. Cora had always seen to that; nobody would ever hear her cries.  
Cora ignored her daughter's shouts for help, her angry cries and threats and instead stalked to the bed angrily and slamming her daughters back into the headboard when she reached her to quiet her. Cora stood over the bed, studying her daughter for a few seconds, before a small smirk formed on her lips. Suddenly she restrains were gone and Regina quickly scrambled to pull the covers up to her neck. She felt the tears stinging in her eyes, not of pain of fear, but of frustration, because for all her magic and bows and newfound courage, she could not stand against her mother, could not even raise a finger to touch her. Cora bowed down to her, trailing her finger over Regina's cheek, smiling at her in what almost could have been loving if her mother had not been heartless and stone-eyed as ever.  
"You do not threaten me, dear, do you understand?" Cora asked her softly, her voice sweet. Regina couldn't hold back her sobs, but refused to acknowledge, instead staring into her mother's eyes, broken, yet defiant. Cora uttered a disapproving sound and within seconds her daughter was slammed against she headboard again and Cora sat down next to her.  
"Honey I need you to understand I don't _want_ to do this. I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and you're pushing me away." She flicked her hand almost carelessly and Regina gasped for air as her throat was released. "That hurts me."  
"What do you want, mother?" Regina's voice trembled, but she managed to sound still somewhat in control of her emotions, not wanting herself to break, not wanting to give her mother the pleasure, the power. "I did what you wanted, I married Robin, I pleased him, I did everything he desired. Why can't you just leave me alone? Leave _him _alone?" Her voice cracked as her memory took her to the terrifying fate that had almost befallen Robin at her mother's hand. Cora raised one eyebrow and Regina instantly knew she had made a mistake, mentioning him, baring her heart for just a second to her mother. Cora smiled sweetly.  
"You care for him?" Cora shook her head and gave her daughter a disapproving glance. "Regina, love is weakness. I thought you'd know that by now." She stood up from the bed and waved away her daughter's start of a reply. "It matters not. Your relationship with the savage is no longer of importance, for it will end soon enough._ That_ is what I want, for you to be of this savage man."  
Regina startled, grasping the covers tight as she forced herself to stay calm. If she lost control for only a second, Cora would win and then all would be lost. "What is that supposed to mean? Your attempt to murder him failed and I doubt you'll get the chance again." She glared at her mother. Cora was powerful and Regina did not doubt that she would be able to get to Robin if she actually wished, but for now words were all she could wield, so she did. Cora laughed as she took in her daughter's glare.

"Murder your husband? Well dear what kind of mother would that make me? I am here to _warn_ you." Cora walked away from the bed and faced the mirror, stroking her finger over the glass and Regina swore she could see it rippling underneath her fingertips. Only now she remembered how her mother insisted that she kept mirrors in her room at all times, remembered the whispers of servants that Cora had eyes everywhere. She vowed to smash the mirror the second her mother had left and her head reeled as she thought of the things her mother could have seen.  
"I am here to warn you, dear." Cora told her, glancing at her daughter through the mirror. "The men of the forest have made many enemies in years past and have been hardly tolerated by the neighboring lords. Now they have overstepped; for they have taken a woman of noble birth, a princess, as their prisoner. The king wants to see their blood and she Lord of Nottingham was all too happy to lend his soldiers. There is a war coming, dear, and your husband will not live to see it end." She turned around, facing her daughter with a smile on her face. "But that is not your concern, because the king has promised me to bring you back safely from the war. He will grant us shelter at his court once this is all over. His wife passed some year ago and he sees a new wife in you after he's saved you from your savage husband." Cora laughed and was next to her daughter in a few seconds, stroking her cheek and then suddenly grabbing it tightly, pressing her nails into the soft skin.  
"Don't worry dear, for soon you will be Queen. A real queen." She smiled sweetly, let her daughter go and disappeared into purple smoke just seconds later, the dark scent of magic still lingering in the room long after she'd gone.

Regina wanted to run, wanted to panic, wanted to cry, to curse the gods and her mother and the king that thought to save her from a danger that had never been there in the first place. She wanted to hide away in the expanse of her bed, to let her mother's words slide off her skin and leave her body though the tears in her eyes, but the time for wailing had been long since over. The magic trembled beneath her skin, cold in fear as it fought against the warmth in her heart. So she did not cry, she did not panic, she did not give up. She decided to fight. Her muscles burned as she stood up from the bed, her mother's magic having undone the blissful effects of Robin's massage. She walked towards the mirror and thought to smash it, but caught sight of the back dress still draped over a sturdy chair behind her. As she took the heavy fabric and let it slide through her hands she gasped for air, forced herself to stop the sobs that threatened to wreck her body. She slowly pulled the black fabric over her head and shoulders, allowing it to slide down her body until it almost reached to the ground. She then grabbed the corset and placed the sturdy leather piece around her waist. It had been some time since she had worn a corset, but she did not allow herself time to get accustomed to it again, instead lacing the corset tight around her until she could barely breathe, until she could not sob anymore. Tears still stung in her eyes, but as she looked at herself in the mirror she could feel her determination grow. She looked older now: draped in dark fabric that hugged every curve, a corset that forced her breasts to stand out and capture any man's attention. The dress was as dark at the forest, but when she moved it seemed to have an almost golden shine to it, as if golden sand had been captured in the dark embrace of the dress. The long sleeves wrapped themselves around her arms and turned from flowing black fabric to light lace until it reached the palms of her hands. With trembling hands she put up her long hair in a long tail that brushed over her shoulders and without the softening curls around her face, her cheekbones stood out sharp and angry. She reached to the black pencil that Mhairi had placed there earlier to use on her face, but as she took in the tears that streamed down her face, she decided not to use it. Her eyes were still those of the little, terrified girl, but it seemed like her essence was caught in the body of a woman that she did not recognize anymore. She looked as if she were going to war and in many ways, she was.

Cora had told her that she would be a queen soon and she had been right.  
The doe-eyed princess was gone.  
Long live the queen.

* * *

The man gazed at her, open mouthed as she strode from the tent. She forced herself to keep her head high, her shoulders straight and her gait sure. Her body refused to stop trembling and she struggled to breathe in the tight corset, but she forced herself to walk with the determination she promised herself she could carry.

"Regina?" Robin's voice was barely more than a breath as he took her in, his eyes wide at the dress his wife was wearing. He walked towards her, putting his hands on either side of his face and staring into his eyes. "Regina are you alright? What happened?" He asked worried, his eyes never leaving hers. Regina allowed her pose to soften as she took him in, wearing heels she was taller than she had been before, almost matching his height.  
"My mother paid me a visit." She told him and her voice broke only slightly through the biting exterior that she had taken up. "She declared a war." She told him solemnly, staring into his eyes, willing for him to understand. "And I'm going to fight back this time, Robin. I won't let her take you the way she took him." Robin had thought she looked nothing like her mother the day they met, but now he saw the resemblance.

Robin trailed his hands down her shoulders, feeling the sturdy leather there, down her arms until he reached her hands. They were trembling and suddenly underneath the heavy, dark dress was still Regina, the terrified girl that loved with her soul but dared not to bare her heart. He looked into her eyes and he saw anger burning there, but it was an anger that was fuelled by fear, kept alive by pain.  
"I will not let them take me." Robin promised, taking her hands and pressing them to his beating heart. "Hey, I won't, okay?" He gazed into her eyes and stroked her cheek with his thumb until she allowed herself to relax against the warmth of his hand. "If your mother has declared a war, I will fight for you." He promised her softly. Then he turned around to face his men, taking Regina by the hand and leading her towards him.

"_We_ will fight your you." He bellowed, his voice roaring over the encampment. Then he pulled her towards him and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time in front of his men to their bellowing roars of war.

* * *

**Damn Cora right? well did you really think she was going to be content with her daughter being the wife of some forest lord? of course not, she has to be _the Queen._ As always, reviews are highly appreciated.**


	13. Chapter 13

It had been six days since Cora had waltzed into her room and declared that a war was coming. Six days since Robin and his men had pledged to defend her. Six days since the calm camp had risen up to defend the forest it called it's home. Night was falling and Regina thanked whatever gods would listen that it had been another day without an army marching towards them. She slept badly, but Robin had assured her that the attacking men would not be stupid enough to try and conquer the Sherwood forests at night. 'We are at an advantage over them and they know it. They will not try to make it bigger.' He had told her with the frown that was branded into his forehead lately. She had not seen him often in the last days and he had excused himself from her archery lessons, his full attention turned towards preparing the men for the war that was to come, and prepare they did. Some nights he stumbled to their bed, too tired to tell her anything about the day. Some nights he would not show up at all.

Regina was sat upon the bed and stared at the place where the mirror had once stood. She had ordered it destroyed the same night that the camp had started preparing for war. She did not desire her mother's eyes upon her. Her beautifully crafted bow was lying on the table to the far end of the tent. It had not seen practice in six days; the practice ranges full day and night with rangers ranking up bulls eyes as they shot arrows with keen precision. She stared at the bow, but knew that it would not help her in the war to come. Robin had said it would defend her, but she did not trust herself to handle it with the skill that was required for it. She traced the fingers of her left hand with the other, concentrating on the anger she felt for her mother, letting it flow through her body and sparkle from her fingertips, it sizzled and smoked and made her skin tingle. _Magic._ She knew Robin would not approve, but she had made her decision; she would fight this war by any means necessary. The magic was a part of her, not using it simply seemed like a waste, or that's what she told herself when her soul protested, when the little girl inside her screamed of the corruptions of magic.

"100 bowmen and some 80 ground rangers and a handful of local hunters that will aid us." Robin announced, sounding tired and older than she had ever heard him, as she walked into the tent. His large longbow was flung over his shoulder, near two dozen golden tipped arrows peeking out from his quiver. He was wearing the sturdy yet supple dark leather ranger's outfit, donned with a green cape and hood pulled over his head. He looked as if he was going to war and even though Regina had not doubted for a second that he would be the one to lead his men, it still scared her. Still he freed his bow from the straps and put it next to hers on the table, he took off the cape and leather armor with a sigh and let it slide to the floor. "That's the final count. We won't get more and the rangers tell me they will attack on the morrow, most likely during sunrise as the sun will be against us." He sounded exhausted as she walked to the bed and sat down with a heavy sigh, reaching back to undo the straps and belts that held the weapons around his body. He had been training with the rangers nonstop for the last days and she heard the crack in his voice that had formed there from his shouting of commands. She quickly crawled to him over the bed and started undoing the straps on his back deftly, freeing him from the restraints. As she traced her fingers over the thin brown tunic, she felt the strained muscles in his shoulders and back underneath. She did not know how to massage like Robin had thought her, but moved her fingers and thumbs over his arms and shoulders anyway in an attempt at something that would ease the strain.  
"Will it be enough?" She asked him, feeling him tense up underneath her fingers before he answered.  
"It will have to be. I will not let them take the Sherwood forest." He turned around, facing her and trailing a single finger over her cheek, twisting a dark lock of hair around his finger. "I will not let them take you." He vowed. It had been his chant, his mantra for the past six days, they were the sacred words of a religion that he had built around her.  
Regina bit her lip, hesitant to ask the question that had been burning in her mind since Robin had walked into the tent. Robin frowned at her confused look and stroked her cheek, silently telling her to ask whatever question was on her mind.  
"My mother told me you commanded a thousand of the finest bowmen in the land." She finally told him softly, as if speaking of her mother would bring her into the room. Robin's reaction laid somewhere in between a sigh and a laugh.  
"They are the finest bowmen, but they do not rank a thousand, that is just what we like the big men in the cities to believe. Fear is quite an effective tool." He sighed, slumping slightly into the bed and Regina did not miss his slight wince as his muscles apparently protested against the movement.  
"It matters not. We will fend them off even if they rank two thousand." He professed, but his courageous words were empty and barely reached her ears, let alone her heart. Yet she did not protest, because Robin knew the game of war better than she did and knew just as well the odds of surviving if they really were two thousand men coming for them. Regina sighed and scooted closer to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder, allowing herself to be comforted by his mere presence. She felt the beat of his heart against, felt his breath against her hair and the warmth of his body. She would not lose this, she vowed. Both stayed silent for a long while, until Robin finally spoke:

"I want you to keep Roland safe." He whispered in her ear, his voice breaking just a little bit as he spoke the name of the boy he loved more than anything in the world. She felt his grip tighten around her, the worry he felt for the safety of his child seeping into every pore of his body.  
"I want to fight, Robin." She whispered back and she felt Robin's pose stiffen even more, until he was clenching her so tight to him that she could not move from his grip if she'd have wished. "I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want you to _die _for me." She confessed and she felt the soft wisps of Robin's breath against her neck.  
"Then I won't die." He promised her with just a hint of a chuckle in his voice, but humor had left him on the eve of war. He pulled back and turned her to face him again, swallowing hard when he took in the took in her eyes. "Regina, I want you to look after Roland. Keep him safe, keep him out of combat. I don't want to lose either of you and-" He swallowed thickly again. "And if I should perish, I want- I would like you to look after him."  
"Robin, I'm not-"  
"I know; you're not his mother, but, you're the closest thing he's got and I trust you." His eyes never wavered, his voice never shook and she knew that this was not the Robin that would be going to war speaking, this was her husband and Roland's loving father who would do anything to keep him safe. "Regina, will you do that for me?" He asked her on a whisper, holding her face between his hands, his fingers softly stroking her temples. She slowly nodded, reluctantly but understanding. He needed every man he had to fight a war that had started because of her in the first place and she would do anything to help him keep his boy safe. "Okay." She said and Robin gave a small smile, pressing his lips against hers in a whisper of a kiss before leaning his head towards her.  
"Thank you." He mumbled and Regina smiled faintly, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it softly. She wanted to tell him that things would be all right, but she knew she could not do such a thing, so instead she held him and tried to convince herself that it would be. Someday.

* * *

When she woke up he was not beside her, his side of the bed having gone cold even though darkness had not left the camp yet. She scrambled up from the bed, sitting on the edge and listing to the sounds outside. She had become used to the sounds, the continuous singing of bows and clashing of swords, but today the camp sung a different song; today it was oddly silent, no shouts or clashing of weapons filling the air. Instead only soft, strange tunes filled the air, reminiscent to the tunes that had played on the day of her wedding, but different; sadder and heavier somehow. She lifted herself up from the bed to pace from her tent, heading outside following the sound. As she stepped outside the melody softened to a halt for a second, before a voice filled the air, singing a song that Regina did not understand or comprehend in a strange language. The camp was different than usual; usually men would be everywhere, fires would be scattered around the camp with men oddly placed around them, laughing and eating with their chosen brothers while making fun of others. Now there was just one fire that seemed to reach to the sky; a giant pyre of a fire that seemed to illuminate the camp with golden fires. Over a hundred men and women were gathered around the pyre, sitting row and row around it and for the first time Regina had seen them; all of them were silent. All of them but one: a woman, her features illuminated by the fire behind her, dressed white from head to toe, safe from a black cloak that covered her head and fell down over her shoulders. Her deep voice carried over the expanse of the encampment as she sang in the strange language.

"It's a prayer." Robin told her softly and somehow Regina was not startled at his sudden appearance. She was in awe of the ceremony that occurred in front of her as the men and women lifted their hands to the skies and added their voices to hers. Their voices were rough, made for bellowing, not singing, but somehow their voices formed an orchestra that sounded better than any musician Regina had ever heard in their town.  
"What are they singing?" Regina asked, turning towards him, seeing his features illuminated by the flickering of the fire. Robin closed his eyes for a second and whispered along with the words, letting them roll off his tongue and he sighed, shaking his head almost unperceivably. "It's ancient sylvan. The words do not mean much to anyone anymore, calling upon gods long forgotten, upon magic long lost. But it's not about the words." He put his hands on her shoulders and slowly pulled her back towards him, he covered her eyes with his gloved hands. "Listen." He whispered softly in her ear, so she did. The singing of a hundred men and women reached her ears and though her mind did not understand the words, her heart did. The words spoke of hope and bravery, but also of mourning for those that would pass. They spoke of gratitude and of the magic that had once inhabited the forests. "Whatever gods are up there, whatever language they may speak. They will understand." Robin told her with a soft voice and Regina nodded understandingly, allowing herself to lean back into Robin, her eyes closed even behind the cover of his hand. She sighed as the singing softened until over a hundred voices were joined in a gentle singing that humbly begged for whatever gods of the forests of the skies to listen. Regina did not dare to sing along, but allowed her heart to pray along with the men, even if she had forsaken her gods a long time ago.  
She heard Robin softly singing along, the words almost a melodious whisper, not meant for anyone but her. He took his hands away from her eyes and circled them around her waist instead, holding him chose to her. "Look." He whispered in her ear and she opened her eyes almost with reluctance.

The woman that had sung in front of the pyre was no longer singing, the only singing coming from the men and women around the pyre. The singer took off her dark hood and turned to face the fire. The instruments halted and suddenly she camp was bathed in complete silence, safe from the soft muttering of the fire into the night. The woman walked towards the pyre and flung it onto the pyre. The fire lashed up as it consumed the fabric and then the lady was singing again, her voice chanting around the camp.

"She has granted the gods the cloak of mourning." Robin explained to her in soft tones as she singer continued in words strange to Regina. "The gods may give it back to us, as is theirs to do. We have prayed to them to save us, but we remember that it was they who gave us life and it is theirs to take it back. We grant them that power." She watched the pure consume the cloak and the wood underneath it and a hundred men and women sat in complete silence until it was burned up. Only when the ashes were faintly smoldering did they take their leave, walking back towards their tents to prepare for the battle that would arrive in only a few hours.  
"The ones that perish on the morrow will be cremated on the same pyre and their ashes will carry their souls. They will be cast into the heavenly valley to find the gods." Robin softly explained to her as he watched some men kneel down past the smoldering remains of the fire while others hurried away from it as fast as possible. Regina did not answer him, not willing to bear the thought that it could be Robin lying there on that pyre on the morrow, that it would be the remains of him that would be strewn out to find the gods that she doubted with every step.  
"Do you believe in the gods?" Robin asked her softly as if reading her mind and Regina held her words back for minutes.  
"Tonight I do." She eventually answered him and it was the truth, because if believing the gods that had forsaken her for years was the thing that was going to keep her safe, that was exactly what she was going to do.

Robin breathed softly against her and after a few minutes he took her hand and lifted it up to the sky. "See that?" He asked softly.  
"The stars?"  
"Legend says that the ashes of the fallen turn gold from the sunlight on their trip to the heavens. As they enter the heavens their souls depart from their earthly remains and the ashes fall down from the heavens in what we call a falling star." He softly strokes his thumb over her hand and leads it to point towards a bright star, shining vibrantly in the night sky. "But some souls choose never to enter the heavens, instead staying in the night sky for all eternity, keeping watch over the ones they left behind. They lead the wanderer home and keep the sailor from getting lost, they give light to the weary and direction to the lost. Some say there are no gods but them, our ancestors keeping watch over us in the skies."  
"That doesn't sound like a bad fate." Regina answers on a whisper, gazing at the night sky where thousands upon thousands of stars kept watch. She couldn't help but wonder if the story was true and wondered which choice Daniel would have made, if he was looking down upon her from the seat of the gods, keeping watch. It was just a legend and legends were often nothing more than fanciful tales meant to soothe the heart, but it was a tale that Regina somehow wished she could take for the truth.  
"Do you believe it?" She asked softly and Robin sighed.  
"Sometimes." He answered her honestly. "When I need to." He lowered her hand and pulled her back into him, wrapping his arms around her again. She felt his lips press a soft kiss against the back of her head before he turned his head up towards the skies again.

"Tonight I do."

* * *

**(LONG) A.N. two chapters in one day! Must be because of your lovely reviews, haha. No seriously, thank you all SO MUCH for reading!**

**I wanted to have some actual action in this chapter, but my muse ran away with me and this came out instead. I just love writing traditions and legends and ceremonies and all that stuff, so I hope you're not tired of it yet. Next chapter will be more action packed again, for the readers that prefer that over this stuff. Fun fact: I am actually super atheistic myself, but the concept of religion is still one that I love exploring in my stories. I hope you will stay stay with me as I will NOT abandon this story, updates might just be going a little slower as I'm returning to school after my vacation ends. Anyway if you're still reading this THANK YOU AGAIN for staying with me. You're all seriously amazing.**


	14. Chapter 14

The horn sounded their doom, a deep roaring that announced the darkness that would fall upon the morning. The first rays of sunlight trickled down upon the forest and gone was the calm, gone was the beauty of the singing voices in the night sky; the dawn had arrived upon them and was greeted by shouts and hurried footsteps. Regina saw over a hundred men and women with bows and arrow rummaging around in the camp, they slapped each other on the back, made tense jokes and final vows to loved ones. Regina herself was dressed in the black dress that she had worn earlier and was seated on the bed, waiting for her husband to escort her to his son, to safety with the other men and women unfit to fight.

"Milady." Robin walked into the tent, dressed for battle in his dark leather armor, bow slung around his back and knives fastened around his belt, two dozen golden tipped arrows shining in his quiver. "The king's army will be here in half an hour." He stretched his hand out to her and she took it with only a short nod to answer. "I will speak to the men and then I will bring you to safety." He took her face between his hands and looked into her eyes with startling intensity. "There will be a lot of noise and screaming, but I need you to stay inside. I cannot fight and worry about you at the same time. Promise me you'll keep safe?" His voice was raspy from shouting commands, strained from disguised worry over the battle that was to come. Regina nodded and placed one of her hands on his.  
"I promise."  
Robin nodded and smiled at her, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek before taking her hand and leading her to the tent. As soon as they stepped out, the horns sounded once again and archers and rangers turned to face them. Robin gazed at them and bowed his head for a second before speaking with a strong voice that made Regina tremble standing next to him:

"The men of the cities are standing at our borders; with axes, with swords and knives to cut us down. And when they have they will take those axes to tree trees to cut down the pillars of the forest, they will take their blood and wash it on our streams, they will strip the gold from Sherwood forest and take the freedom from the uncaged animal. They will storm the valley of the gods and taint the heavenly lands with the sins of mankind.  
The Sherwood forest has been a sanctuary for outcasts for hundreds of years. She has protected and sheltered us, she has granted us life and cradled us in death. The men of the cities have driven out the forest dwellers before us, and every last man and woman died defending Sherwood forest. Will we let their sacrifice be in vain? Will we turn our tails and run? Will we allow the men of the city to take our forest?"

The men and women bellowed, screams of war as savage as the forest they were sworn to protect. Robin lifted his hands to bid them to silence.

"They think we are a force of one thousand archers strong. Let's not disappoint them."

Screams filled the camp once again; "Sherwood!" screamed some, "Robin!" others. Their voices were far from the symphony they had formed during the ceremony, but somehow held a similar vigor to them. Robin allowed the warriors to shout for a while, but then lifted his hands again and the men quieted down immediately.

"To your posts. We will show them the strength of the Sherwood forest."

And with those words the men disappeared one by one, some skittering up trees with the agility of squirrels, others dissolving between the dark stems of the trees. In mere minutes near a hundred men had vanished, hiding themselves with bows drawn and eyes sharp. Only about two dozen men remained standing In the camp, wearing swords instead of mere daggers at their belt. Robin had explained to her that when a man sees his enemies in front of him, he does no longer consider the danger behind or above him.

Robin took her hand and lead her towards a tent at the far end of the camp. Two rangers armed fully with bows and swords were already standing guard outside and nodded to Robin in greeting.  
"Papa! 'Gina!" Roland came running from the tent towards them and wrapped his arms around his father's legs in a hug. Robin crouched down and had to nearly wrench the boy free from his legs. He turned the boy to face him, his voice grave and serious as she spoke to the boy:  
"Roland, I told you not to leave the tent." He stroked the little boy's hair and Roland bit his lip nervously, picking up not only on his father's slight anger, but also on his fear. "I need you to stay inside with Regina, okay little man? Do not leave the tent until I come back and tell you that you can." He instructed his boy and Roland nodded. Robin smiled and Regina saw the tension in his face, the way his hands trembled when he pulled the boy towards him into a hug. Robin was a brave man and Regina knew he would not shy away from the fight, he would be right at the middle of it, but there was fear in his eyes, fear that Roland would lose another parent. Robin gently pushed his boy away from him and to Regina, who took the boy's hand in her own and squeezed it tightly. Robin then stood up and turned towards Regina. Little words had to be spoken between them, because they both understood what they had to do and what could happen. So Robin just gently stroked a lock of ebony hair behind her ear and gave her a soft smile. "I will be back."  
Words stuck in both their throats, words that their hearts wanted to scream but their minds still feared. So both stayed silent until the horn blared again, a final warning of the battle that would arise within minutes. Robin pressed a final kiss to her mouth before turning around and walking away, the words still hanging unspoken between them.

Regina prayed that she would still have the chance to say them in the future.

* * *

It was torture not being able to see the battle, but hearing it all the more. She had heard it the very moment the king's men had arrived at the forest, had heard their angry screams, their surprised gasps and their gurgles of death as a rain of arrows from the trees took them by surprise. The air In the tent was heavy, the anxiety that every man and woman felt hanging thick in the air between them. She was seated in the tent with some thirty men, women and children between them. They ranged from too old to fight to too young and inexperienced to see battle. From crippled to sick. Regina had sought out familiar faces In the crowd, but had found none aside from Roland. Even Mhairi was not in the tent, even timid, fifteen-year old Mhairi who loved bathing and telling stories was out fighting.  
Roland was clutched to her, his little body jumping up every time there was a scream outside. Robin had forbidden Regina to even take a step outside for fear of drawing an assault towards their tent, but not knowing the progress of the battle was torture on Regina's heart. Robin, Mhairi, little John and every other face she had seen in camp before could be dead for all she knew.  
"Don't worry child. Your husband is a good fighter, he will not perish." She heard a voice from beside her. Sitting there was a woman, at least three times her age with silver hair and amber eyes. Age had claimed her body, but had not weathered it down; her posture seemed still strong and stout, her eyes still sharp and her voice firm. She reminded Regina of the wise women that lived at the towns she would oft visit when she was younger, the women who could accomplish with plants and potions what her mother could only do with magic and Regina had always held a respect for them.  
She sighed nervously, wrapping her hands around Roland as if she were anchoring herself to him.  
"The numbers are not in our favor." She whispered, not willing Roland to hear the grim prospect that his father was facing in battle. The woman made a sound of disdain and placed her hand on Regina's shoulder.  
"If it was numbers that won wars, then why did it take but one wizard to hold back the ogres, while thousands of farmers, smiths and eventually children could not? Sometimes a great leader with loyal men and women fighting for a cause, can be worth more than a thousand armies spurred by coin and greed. They say that the wizard who ended the ogres war did so to protect his son, that is the courage and strength of a parent. Robin is father who is fighting for his children, not only his son, but also his daughter: the Sherwood forest. Woe those who battle the vigilant father, woe those who take on the warrior that fights for love. Love is the most powerful emotion, the most powerful force and the most powerful weapon in the world."  
Regina frowned and looked into the old eyes of the woman, they carried wisdom and reflected all that they had seen within the world. Her hands trembled and she looked towards the entrance to the tent. The shouting outside would intensify at times, roaring into the tent within waves and drop to a near silence other times. Regina listened to the sounds, nervously fiddling with her fingers, she sighed after her ears were numb by the shouts, her heart dropping down with every second the battle wore on. "This war started because of me. It feels wrong to hide while they … die, because of me."  
The woman studied her for a while, her eyes as sharp as they had been in younger years. "When men desire to wage war, they will do so. They may blame the gods or the land or a woman, but the war is housed inside their hearts and it desires to be let out. The folly of men that do not control their nature is not your fault nor your concern." She walked closer to Regina as far as the crowded tent would allow, sitting down next to her and stroking her hand through Roland's thick tresses.  
"But it is _my_ fight." Regina said solemnly and the woman placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"Child, how it is your fight when you don't even have a weapon to wield?"

Regina stared down at her hands, so ordinary looking, yet so powerful and miraculous, with powers that flowed from her heart brimming underneath her fingertips. She slowly stood up and gently placed Roland in the old woman's arms, her hands trembling, but her stature determined. She remembered the words that she woman had spoken to her; '_Love is the most powerful weapon in the world.' _She remembered the feeling that had encompassed her when she had healed Robin's heart, the warmth that had caressed her arms that day on the hill, that had filled her heart every time her lips touched Robin's. She did have a weapon, after all, and she was going to wield it. She felt a surprisingly strong grasp on her arm as the woman held her back.  
"Your majesty, you should stay here like Robin asked." The woman told her. Regina shook her head, feeling the soft pulsing welling up in her hands as her determination grew.  
"No, I should not." She placed one hand on the woman's arm. "Let me go. That is an order from me as your queen." She spoke softly, but there was no room for questioning and the woman did as she asked, giving her a curious look.  
"Gods be with you, Regina."  
"Gods be with all of us." She answered before clenching her fists and walking from the tent.

"Your majesty! You should go back inside." One of the guards quickly turned towards her the moment she stepped from the tent, walking in front of her to block her path but not touching or grabbing her. Regina eyed the man with curiosity; he was a man, near bald with veteran eyes and streaks of grey In his chestnut hair. His voice was brusque and vigorous, yet carrying respect befitting a guard speaking to its queen. Regina gave a soft smile.  
"I'm sure that's what Lord Robin ordered you to tell me, as it is what he ordered me. But I am still your queen and unless you wish to seize me where I stand, I will pass and find my Lord husband." Her voice was no longer that of the timid girl the men had seen entering the forest by her husband's hand, the one they had seen their leader marry, and they flinched just slightly at the renewed vigor that their queen held. They did not answer, passing gazes between each other as they doubted what to do. Regina decided she did not have time to listen to them and swiftly walked away from them, leaving the men standing near the tent in disarray, not willing to abandon their posts. Regina did not care for them, instead scouring the battlefield in search for her husband. It was nothing like the kind of battlefield she was used to, where giant armies would run head first at each other and the number's game was as likely a player as any, it was a different kind of war wherein Robin's men seemed artists in their own craft. The king's men were heavily armored, but no arrows went wasted as they found their marks in places that no armor could protect: aimed perfectly at the men's eyes and driven into the gap between helmet and breastplate. Regina noted that if the king's men had ever formed a coherent army squat, they had broken upon the tree line held by close to a hundred archers. The man that reached the camp were still great in number, pouring from the trees, but they were unruly and disoriented, torn away from their squat mates, solitary soldiers that fell quickly to fast arrows and clever daggers. Still many of the men had managed to form up again after they had reached the sanctum of the camp and had taken up arms towards the ground-fighters that wielded swords and axes of dragons bane metal; black as the trees in the forest and according to Robin the only thing strong enough to cut them down.

Regina moved quickly from tent to tent, keeping herself hidden and away from the heat of the battle while she searched for Robin. She wanted to scream out for him, her heart climbing up to her throat every second she could not see him, the fear that he might already be lost to her forever seizing her heart in almost crippling fear. Yet she forced herself to keep walking, fastening her pace until she was running, no longer hiding from the fight and running closer and closer towards it. Then she saw him:  
He was standing near the fireplace where she ashes of the ceremony were still laid, waiting for the dead to join them, to make their travel to the heavens. Three of the king's men, heavily armored armed seemed to have been battling him for some time. Robin held his bow, the string pulled back but did not fire. Instead he moved around, quicker on his feet than the armored men that tried to catch him. His arms trembled and Regina realized that he had been holding back his arrow for a long time already, bidding his time until he could find the perfect shot to take the men down. Robin was a good archer, but he seemed to hold back until he was sure he could make the shot. As Regina took in his quiver she realized why: there was only one arrow left apart from the one in his bow. It would come to hand-to-hand combat and Robin's best chances were to take two of his attackers out before that happened. He was an archer and would not win a swordfight if he had to take on more than one man and he was smart enough to know it.  
A tall man with a long sword lashed out to him, his movements too slow and sluggish to even rake him as Robin jumped aside. Yet Regina saw the strain in his movements, the way his legs shook just slightly when he hit the ground. He was tiring out and they were the greater number. They would get him eventually unless he got a chance to find the upper hand. Then the thing Robin had been waiting for occurred; the man who had swung the longswords overbalanced due to the weight of his blade and stumbled. Within half a second Robin released the arrow and it pierced itself in the weak spot underneath his helmet. The man fell to the ground seconds later, leaving two attackers for Robin to take out: a gaunt man a wielding a sword and a large kite shield and a smaller, more agile man that wielded only his sword, perchance having lost his shield earlier or simply preferring to fight without one. One of the men let out a scream of anger at his fallen comrade and thrust his shield forward. Robin easily jumped away, but to her horror Regina noticed that it was exactly what the smaller man had expected him to do, raking his arm and shoulder with his sword. She saw Robin turn and draw his bow, only to find the string cut by the sharp edge of the sword. Robin did not waste a second, grabbing for his sword hanging on his belt instead, but Regina saw him wince as he did so, saw the gash the sword had inflicted upon him. He barely managed to parry off the attack of the swordsman, his movement stiff and awkward. He jumped back at the next attack, only to find himself thrust to the ground as the shield bearer bashed against him with full force. Robin managed to thrust his sword upwards between the breastplate and trousers of the man, but lost his sword in the process, leaving him unarmed, lying on the ground at the mercy of the third man.

Regina could not stop a shriek of fear at seeing him, clutching her heart as she swordsman ran up towards her husband, prepared to kill the man that had taken two of his comrades. Then Regina remembered why she had set out in the first place: she had come to watch her husband die, she had come to make sure he'd live. She had no time to think, no time to focus on her anger or her fear, no time to call up the magic inside her or nurture the emotions that it could feed off. All she could do was feel and all she could feel as she looked at him was the desire, the overwhelming need to protect him. She let it fill her, let the warmth explode from her heart and stream towards her fingers. She took one last look at him and she unleashed it. All of it, until there was nothing left.  
Then the world turned black before her and she prayed to the long-forsaken gods.

_Please, let it be enough. Let him live. Spare him. Let him live._

* * *

"Regina?"  
She groaned in response to the voice, her head hurting too much to tell her where she was, what had happened or who was even talking to her. She felt soft hands upon her face, a breath against her skin, felt the soft tickling of grass and the discomfort of the hard ground underneath her back.  
"Regina?!" The voice urged, a panic settling in it as she hands gripped her firmer, one travelling to her neck and pressing two fingers there. She finally forced her eyes to open themselves and found his face in front of her. She blinked against the heavy sunlight, but barely got a chance to breathe in the fresh air before his arms were around her, holding her tightly.  
"Oh thank the gods you're okay. Do not scare me like that again." Robin breathed against her neck. Then the memories came back in a flash; her running out of the tent, seeking Robin, her heart panicking at the prospect of losing him, seeing Robin duel with three man, seeing the sword rake him, seeing the shield bring him to the ground, her despair and finally the overwhelming light before her eyes before the darkness claimed her. She pushed him away instantly, bringing his hands to his shoulders and finding warm blood beneath her fingers.  
"Robin…." She breathed, but Robin gripped her face between his hands and forced her to look away.  
"It's nothing. I'm all right. You're all right. We made it." He told her before placing his head against her. "We won." He told her before taking her in his arms and kissing her lips with a force that made her heart swell, that made her forget all about the battle that had taken place … how long had it been since they had won? How long had she been unconscious? She pulled back, gasping at the intensity of both Robin's kiss and her own feelings.  
"H-how?" She asked, her head still pounding as Robin pulled her to her feet with his uninjured arm. She wobbled as she found her balance, but Robin pulled her towards him as the world slowly but surely stopped spinning.  
"There was a wave of light, of power, brighter than anything I have ever beheld before in my life." Robin explained and Regina gasped at his words, lifting up her hands wondering if she had indeed managed to protect Robin. "It came from nowhere and after it had passed, the battle turned into our favor; it was as if the gods had finally smiled down upon us; no man could hit us, while every arrow we fired, every cut we made, hit its mark without fail. We cut down near three dozen of the king's men before they noticed; started screaming about the magic of the Sherwood forests and they withdrew." He told her the story, his voice one of awe and wonder. Then he turned towards her, taking her hands and stroking them with a gentle touch. "My men thought it was the gods, but I know what it was. Because I had felt it before, after you returned my heart." He shook his head and laughed softly, dimples appearing and his eyes creasing as his smile reached the twinkling orbs. Regina had never been more happy to see his smile. He looked at his in absolute wonder, softly weaving his fingers through her hair and biting his lip, his smile slowly dissipating from his face as, to her surprise, she saw tears forming in his eyes. "Regina, you saved my life, you saved my son, my clan, my forest but …" A tear escaped from his eye and he laughed softly. "Why?"

Regina wanted to tell him about how the war was her fault, how she did not want him to die for her. Wanted to tell him about the magic, about what the woman had told her about love and power in the tent. She wanted to tell him about sweet, loving Daniel who had been lost because she had been too scared to fight back, wanted to tell him about how Roland needed him more than he did her. Wanted to tell him about the secrets she kept locked up in her heart, about the things she had loved and lost before him. She wanted to tell him everything, but her heart only screamed the truth that had gone unspoken the last time she saw him: when he had walked outside the tent, possibly leaving her forever, the force that had drawn the magic from her heart strong enough to win her a war. The feelings that were a weakness no longer. So she smiled at him, trailing her fingers down and placing them upon his beating heart.

"Because I think I love you."

He smiled at her, pulling her into such a tight hug that Regina was not sure he'd ever let her go.  
"I think I love you too." He told her, voice shaking as a laughter bubbled up inside of him, a laughter that travelled from his heart to hears and made her body shake with it, even as tears stung in her own eyes and streamed from her cheeks.  
"I'm pretty damn sure I do, actually." Robin told her as he pulled her back and pressed another kiss against her mouth, kissing her until the world dissipated around them. There would be mourning later, there would be ash strewn out to find the heavens, there would be tears and beautiful ceremonies. There would be sadness in their future, sadness and pain and suffering as there had always been, but for now Regina felt that she could cope with any future as long as Robin would be there to live it with her.

Because love, after all, was not weakness.  
It was strength.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter, this time really probably the last for some time, haha. I'm just so addicted to writing this story I can't help it, but I don't think you guys mind? Anyway thank you for reading the story and your wonderful reviews. You're all seriously awesome.**


	15. Chapter 15

Regina had not thought that the valley of the Heavens could have looked any more beautiful than it had that day when she had stood on top of the hill that crowned it, staring down at the untouched lands beneath them, but she was once again taken aback and proven wrong by the deviously beautiful Sherwood Forest: The sun rose over the valley and coloured the normally golden glowing grass a deep red, the river carving into the land as if the valley had shed blood like the souls it had welcomed. It was beautiful, but also haunting, as if she and Robin had somehow intruded upon some private passing between day and night that no mortal eyes were meant to take in.  
Regina was dressed in a dress red as the river that cut through the valley, while Robin was clad in an ebony jacket and trousers, his tunic was the same blood red as Regina's dress. Robin had told her that it was customary to wear red during a warrior's burial instead of black: black was for days of grief and tears, but red showed respect for the warrior's courage, for the blood that had been shed and when the gods gazed down they would know the departed to have been a great warrior.

It had been quite a sight to see all of Robin's men and woman that remained dressed in blood red, standing around the funeral pyre much like they had the night before. Of the near two hundred men that had aided Robin in the battle, some hundred-and-fifty had returned. The burning of the bodies had taken from near midnight until sunrise, the pyre's flickering flames lighting up the camp as the remains of those claimed by death were turned to ash, waiting to be spread out towards the gods. The burial had been much like the prayer ceremony the night before, but the singing had been quieter, not meaning to reach the gods, instead meant for the ears of those yet not living up in the heavens, trailing somewhere between earth and the stars above. There had been no tears or wailing, just an air of respect mixed with a certain sense of sadness that was not quite mourning, for there was not to be mourning until the spirits had truly reached the heavens. Yet it was more moving than any funeral Regina had ever attended; they had been the tearstained and excessively saddening funerals of highborn ladies, always shadowed by her mother's attempts to get her daughter to consoled the newly widowed husband. Regina had despised funerals ever since the first of those occasions, yet the quiet, little respectful funeral in the depths of the forest touched her in places that the extravagant ones never had. Though it was the custom not to cry at the burnings, it could be hard to hold back her tears as they laid and burned the body of the redheaded boy that had brought her to Robin that night that seemed so long ago. She only now saw how young he was: barely a man yet with only the beginning of a stubble forming on his cheeks and a mouth that was made for laughing. He had been too young to die, like many others: a girl of Mhairi's age with dark curls and blue eyes, a boy that should not have been in the battle at the first place, ten years of age, who had been known to wander off before and had likely found the battle by accident, a boy of eighteen years who Robin told her had only gotten his first taste of love some weeks ago…. There were many others and with every face it was harder not to cry, but Regina had managed to hold back her tears. After all, she had done so for many years before.

So now she held the urn in her hand, a big, heavy urn filled with a pinch of ashes from the burning of every fallen warrior. She and Robin had carried it up the hill in silence, as was their duty as rulers of the Sherwood forest. While the loved ones of the deceased were permitted to say their goodbyes to the fallen at the burning ceremony, they were not allowed to be there when the ashes were granted to the winds to be carried to the heavens. It was believed that when the souls of the departed would so those they loved on their final journey, they might hesitate to leave, drawn back by their loved ones, and would not arrive in the heavens before nightfall, causing them to become entrapped between the heavens and earth. Robin had told her that it was those souls that formed the little lights that flew through the forest at night, always flying up to reach the heavens, but never touching them.

Robin stood next to her, watching the first sunrays caress the hills for a few minutes, until he turned towards her and carefully opened the urn. He shortly gazed into her eyes and gave her a small smile, before putting his hand in the urn and taking a handful of the ashes.  
He spoke words in a language that she could not understand, but had memorized anyway and as he opened his hand, the ashes flew from them as by themselves, carried away with the winds, upwards and upwards until they were mere speckles in the sunlight, gleaming golden for just a second before disappearing from view. Robin took the urn from her and took her hand in his, gently moving it and gesturing for her to do the same. Regina followed his lead, taking a handful of the ashes, still slightly warm and brokenly speaking the words that Robin had taught her to say. As she opened her hand the ashes left with the same ease without hesitation as if winds were always waiting to carry what remained of brave warriors towards the heavens. They stood until the sun's head had shown itself near wholly in the morning sky, taking turns saying the words and bidding the ashes goodbye, until finally the urn was empty. Robin placed the urn on the ground, an offer of gratitude to the gods for those they had spared. Then he turned towards her and took his hands in hers, slightly marred from the ashes that had rested upon them time after time.  
"Are you all right?" He asked her, bringing one hand to brush her long hair, loose today, behind her ear, bearing more of her face to him. Regina gave a slight smile, but it was little more than a remainder of Cora's lesson that a smile was the best way to hide the feelings shining in her eyes. Robin saw through it, she knew, as he placed his other hand on her face and brought her to face him. Regina sighed softly, bringing up her hand to thread through his hair.  
"It's not easy." She softly admitted. "Even if I try to believe that they go to a place that is better, that mourning is not required because ascension to heaven is a virtuous thing, it's still … hard." She turned her head against the palm of his hand and stared at the valley were no mortal man had ever set foot. It was what the men of the forest pictured the heavens to be like. She wondered if they were right, if it existed at all.  
"It's always hard." Robin told her, his voice a whisper, but the emotion croaking through it telling far more than the words itself could. She turned back to him and saw the old grief for a woman long lost shine in his eyes. He loved her, she knew that, but he had also loved Marian and some part of him would always belong to her, just like a part of her would always belong to a brown-eyed stable boy. As she gazed into his eyes she wondered about the dreams that had died with his Marian, the plans he had made before she had been ripped away from him. She wondered about the Robin that had belonged to Marian, wondered about the dreams that had lain hidden in the eyes of that man, only two years but many sights younger. "Still, I wish I could have done it with Marian. I wish her ashes could have been sent out to the heavens." He sighed, shaking his head. "I just wish I knew … I wish I knew whether she has reached the heavens or not." He swallowed thickly, shaking his head more resolutely and turning back to Regina.  
"But it would be improper to accost the gods about past grievances now while we should pray for them to lead the departed souls home, while we should thank them to granting life to many a man." He gave a sad smile, taking her by the hand and leading her away from the hill, speaking no words as he lead her through the forest, through dwindling paths and over streams fickle and strong. She wandered through the forest holding his hand for long hours, yet she was not lost, trusting her husband to lead her home as he had trusted the gods to lead the ones truly lost to their new homes.

Finally after near and hour of walking, Robin halted and in front of them the forest opened again, the small winding paths making way for something that resembled a road made by human hand; a road broad enough to travel through by cart, bridged high above them by golden leaves. Robin gently let her hand go and gestured for her to step upon the road, following close behind her when she did. As Regina felt the road underneath her feet, it was clear that it had been laid there by mortal hands instead of by nature itself. Yet the stones were cracked, nature having long since taken it's coarse over the roads; grass and roots taking over what had once been road. "What is this place?" Regina asked, staring down the road that seemed to bore straight through the forest for as far as she could see. Robin walked up behind her, his eyes scanning around, seemingly looking for something.  
"The King's road of old. It was the road that the men laid out through the forest to barter with the Sylvan's. It has been lost the nature for centuries and has disappeared from the memories of even the books, yet it still remains." He smiled as he seemingly found what he had been looking for, striding off and returning mere minutes later with about the last thing Regina had expected to see: a horse. The horse was a slender mare, like Rocinante had been, but instead of a red brown, she was a dark bay with near black manes and tail. Robin lead the animal towards her by reins that had clearly not found their origin in the forest and Regina could not help a small smile at the slight apprehension Robin seemed to have about the animal, yet he smiled at her as he brought the mare towards her.  
"Horses are hardly a favourite of mine, I must admit, Milady, but I am told you are able to handle one?" He asked with a slight glint in his eye and Regina nodded, her heart leaping both excitedly and nervously at the sight of the animal. She carefully walked up towards the mare and stretched her hand for the horse to smell, gently patting it on the neck afterwards and sighing softly at the comforting feel of a horse's warmth against the palm of her hand again.  
"Little John fetched her from the town, the handler assured him that she's the finest, most gentle horse around. I think he said her name's River, but I'm not sure why, I suppose you could change it if you don't-"  
Regina couldn't help a smile, because maybe it was because of the presence of the horse that seemingly unsettled him, maybe it was the openness of the place they found themselves, or maybe it was something else completely, but Robin was nervous and that was a first time. The horse turned towards her, gazing at her with deep brown eyes and Regina laughed softly, because she understood why she had been named River: the mare was young of spirit but trustworthy as if she were centuries old, flexible and strong, both gentle and ferocious when she'd need to be, sometimes gentle and slow, other times as fast as the wind. Regina trailed her fingers over the carefully crafted saddle that had undoubtedly cost Robin many pieces of gold. Her heart jumped up in a way it had not done for a long while. She could hardly wait to ride this mare.  
"The name is perfect. She's perfect." Regina breathed out with a laugh, turning to Robin and as her husband gave her that smile that made her heart light up, she knew she had to be beaming with excitement. "Is she mine?" She asked on a breath, for a moment returning to the little girl that could just be excited at things, instead of scared or distrusting. Robin nodded, a smile never leaving his face and Regina stepped towards him and pressed a light kiss against his lips, not willing to divert her attention from the horse for too long, knowing how easily the animals could be startled.  
"She is." He told her, smiling as her eyes lit up at his words. He stepped next to her and tapped against the saddle. "Why don't you see how she rides?"

Regina did not need to be told twice, putting her foot in the stirrup and swinging herself upon the horse in one practiced movement. She had mounted horses with no stirrups at all, so mounting one all saddled and ready was easy enough. She let out a content sigh at the feeling of the warmth of a horse between her legs, even if the leather of the saddle chafed her legs as she was not exactly dressed for the occasion. Still, the soft breathing of the animal and the soft, prickly hairs against her legs brought her back to happier days. The image of Daniel forced itself to the forefront of her mind, but she forced herself not to think about him, instead stroking her hand through the black mane of the mare. "Thank you." She breathed and Robin nodded slowly, walking towards her and taking the reins, placing the black leather into her hands. Regina revelled in the feel of it between her fingers, the way it brushed against her palms, the slight pull as the mare shook her head in impatience.  
"Thank you Robin." She told her husband again and thankful she was, but she had rarely ever gotten a gift that had not come with either a reason or a catch, so she bit her lip and cocked her head. "But … why?"  
Robin chuckled softly. "Saving my life. Saving my son. Saving my camp. Saving my forest. Do I need to go on?"  
Regina smiled softly at him, feeling a slight brush creep up at the praise that Robin gave her. Yet as cocky and logical Robin's words seemed, there was still something that shone in his eyes; some words that were not yet spoken, a truth not yet told. He looked nervous, she realized. He opened his mouth, but halted himself, stroking the horse's mane again and letting his gaze trail over her, almost as if he was hesitating or dreading something. "But truth is there is another reason. This horse, my gift, can be one of two things, depending on what you choose."  
Regina frowned, feeling awkward talking down from him seated upon the horse, but when she tried to lift herself to get down, Robin held her back with a firm hand, gently pushing her back into the saddle. He gestured towards the road that stretched out towards them, leading into a horizon of golden shade. "If you were to follow this road all the way there, past the horizon, straight on until the rising of the next sun, you will pass the boundaries of the King's lands, past the reach of the King's hand of your mother's magic. You will be safe there, this mare is young and swift, she will carry you there with ease." The words were strained somehow, as if he had trouble speaking them. Yet he smiled. "You can trust my men, you can trust me, we will tell nowhere where you've gone, milady. You will be safe there." He sighed, swallowing thickly. "I said this horse, this gift, can be two things. This is the first one: it can be an escape, a chance to get away from … everything." stepping back from the horse, giving her the room to gallop away and leave him behind. He could handle that, he would understand.

Regina could hardly believe what the man was telling her, letting the reins slip through her hands as she could no longer find the vigour to hold them tightly. She turned slightly on the saddle to face him, watched the deep creaves carved into his face as his eyes watched her, waiting for her answer. "What's the other option?" Regina finally asked, not willing to either accept or deny Robin's offer yet. Once she would have jumped at the opportunity to not just escape from a loveless marriage, but also from her mother and all others that would harm her, perhaps she'd even be able to leave some memories behind in the kingdom that had never felt like home. Now that the marriage was no longer as loveless as it once had been and the Sherwood forest was the only place that had ever truly felt like home, the choice was not so easily made. It was the choice between running and fighting for what could be, one day, her happiness. "What if I don't want an escape? What if I don't want to run?"  
Robin eyed her for a very long time, as if he was doubting if he was willing to answer her as well. Then he gave a small, somehow sad, smile and took the reins that she had dropped on the horse's neck into his hands. "The second option is for her to be an … engagement gift."  
Regina frowned at his words. She could have understood it if he had called the mare a wedding gift, but the actual mention of engagement confused her. "We are already married, Robin." She told him as if he could ever forget that she had been his bride only a day after they had met, that she had married him before they had barely spoken words that were more than empty courtesies. Still the words floated from her tongue as she spoken them and did not fill her with such fear or dread as they had before, instead with a warmth that she knew, but still feared somehow.  
Robin smiled sadly at her words. "Yes, but you never had any say in the matter, Regina. I do not want our marriage to be built on that." His eyes were clear as he spoke to her, no stormy sea of blue and green, no deep depths of darkness or grey shades of hidden thoughts, just pure, honest truth. "I… I told you earlier that I marry for love, Regina." He whispered, his voice soft but clear, somehow sounding loud enough in the empty pathway through the forest. "And I intend to keep it that way. So if you want, you can leave. I won't force you to marry me … or stay married to me, for that matter." He kept his eyes on her, burning with determination even if his voice was somehow hesitant.  
"You said you love me. I just want you know that you don't have to. If you stay here, I want it to be because you want to and … if you're to be my wife, I want it to be because you love me." He gazed up against her, stepping back slowly to give her the space to ride away if she desired to. She did not.

Regina dismounted the mare, letting the reins slide through her hands to allow the horse to walk away. She smiled as she reached Robin, taking his strong hands in her slim ones and tracing the wedding band that he still wore, an remembrance of the love he had borne for the woman before her. She was reminded of the impromptu fashioned ring that she wore around her own neck and her right hand drifted up to touch it, to trace her fingers over the round edges for just a second.  
"Robin." She told him, her voice as soft as his. "I love you."  
She stepped closer to him and softly brushed her lips against his, taking both his hands in hers and stroking softly. She pulled back before the kiss had ever really started, but only just enough to speak to him. She gave him and smile and brought up her hand to cup his cheek.  
"Ask me." She whispered against his lips.  
Robin pressed a shadow of a kiss to her lips in answer and leant into her until their foreheads touched. He closed his eyes and trailed his fingers through her hair, trailing them down over her cheeks before finally lifting her face up to gaze into her eyes. He smiled as he asked her, his words so soft that she would not have heard them if she had not been listening so intently.  
"Regina." He breathed, his voice raspy but determined. " Will you marry me?"

She smiled, bringing up her other hand against his cheek and pulling him closer to her.  
"Yes. Robin of Locksley." She told him on a breath, her mouth so close to his that her breath tickled his lips as she answered him. '"Yes, I will marry you."

He closed to final distance between them, their mouths meeting in a kiss that was both slow and fierce at the same time, that burned between them with the heat of a thousand suns, yet somehow managed to be as peaceful as the glittering lake. They kissed and clung to each other and Regina found that suddenly running was no longer an option, that there was only one road she would follow and it would not be the one that Robin had shown her. She pulled back slowly and called the horse towards them.  
"Care to take a ride with me?" She asked him, her eyes shining with emotions that had not been there in a very long time, a happiness daring to show itself in the brown depths that had been lost for too long. She mounted the horse and Robin sat behind her. She cast one final glance at the path that would lead her away from everything , before she took Robin's hands and brought them to the reins.

"Let's go home." She told him and for the first time in her life she believed it with all her heart.

* * *

_**AN. Next chapter will **_**probably**_** contain some M rated goodness, which I am both nervous and excited about, haha.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Rating bumped to M! **

***nervous shuffling***

* * *

The ride back to the camp had been blissfully calm. As Robin's hands had softly laid around her waist, his hands covering hers and his front pressed against her back, it had been incredibly easy to just lean back and allow his presence to soothe all the ancient fears that rested inside her heart. It had been easy to ignore the world around them, but as soon as the horse had set foot back into the camp, reality had crashed down upon them like a tidal wave: the camp had been busy as ever, but the air was somehow heavier, supressed by the grief that had taken up residence in any man and woman's heart. A faint smell of smoke still lingered over the camp, combined with the nauseating combination of smells that the burning off the bodies had left lingering in the air: a sickeningly sweet odour that Regina did not wish to think about took away all appetite, while a smell he remembered from when she had singed her hair after leaning in to close to a fire once as a girl seemed to cling against the air with particular vigour. The sight of the sullen men and woman, combined with the smell of death and muffled wails had been more than enough to draw both of them back to the reality of the situation.

Robin had stayed silent, had only grasped her hand as he gently let her towards their tent that laid a fair distance away from the hearth of sickening smells. They had however been halted by a few of Robin's men before they could reach the tent as Robin's council had requested to convene as quickly as possible. Robin had given her an apologetic look, telling her that he still had a duty to rule and she had understood. Even though she wanted nothing more than to just crawl into the bed with her husband and forget the world around them, she understood that it did not do to forget the duty that not only Robin, but also she herself now carried.

So she found herself sitting in a large tent with a high ceiling and stuffy chairs, the members of council gathered around her; Robin at her left and a tall, dark man with heavy eyes and a slightly hunched back to her right. The rest of the council members, ten in total, were seated around the dark table of elaborately carved wood that looked like it had seen many hundreds of years. The twelve members of council were named 'Merry Men', but not all of them were men and not one of them seemed merry; all sudden mouths and saddened eyes.  
"Lost near forty good rangers, over fifty souls in total, near a quarter of what went into battle." Said a greying man with voice like gravel and eyes like stone. His hands were folded on the table and seemed to have no intention of moving, bandages gone red from blood and muddy from dirt wrapped around them. He had a cut just passed his eye socket that might have cost him his eye if he had been less quick. He had obviously fought in the battle and suffered the wounds to show it. Robin nodded slowly in understanding, his face no longer light like it had been before, a deep frown having settled there that made him look many years his senior. Yet he stayed silent, casting his glance towards another council member that took the opportunity to speak up: a lean woman with tanned skin, amber eyes and hair in a short, stumpy braid. She was young, no older than twenty, but her eyes were as grave as any man's. "We are the better fighters, but the numbers were against us, as they will be the next battle. If the king decided to strike again, we will not win. By logic, she should not even have won the last one."  
"But we did win." Countered a blonde youngster, his long hair tied together in his ponytail. His face was scarred, but somehow he still seemed as handsome as he had been without the cuts and creased lines. He too had his hands laid upon the table, openly displaying the scared tissue on his hands and arms. Robin had told her that his name was Kevin; a former associate of the sheriff of Nottingham that had joined the merry men only several years before. Because his name did not agree with the tongue of Robin's men, however, they had taken to calling him 'Craven'. They had both distrusted him and sneered at him because he had abandoned those he had sworn fealty too. Yet Robin swore that he had saved his life and things were left at that; it had taken many years, but eventually the man had earned the trust and found himself sitting on the council. Craven had unmatched prowess in hand-to-hand combat and sword fighting and was thus named commander of Robin's grounded forces. Craven leant into the table as he spoke, his voice making him sound older than he was. "That gives us an advantage, morally."  
"We did not win." Said the grey men with the gravelly voice, a tone of contempt for the youngster still in his voice.  
"They ran, whether that is a victory or not can be discussed, but we do have an advantage: they are scared of us, or whatever miracle happened for us to win that battle. Point is, we do not know if it will happen again, so we need not to let it come to that." He took his knife from his hand, an imposing thing, black as night but with the glimmer of sunset on it, and laid it down on the table. "We need to strike back, as a warning. Send Shedra with a dozen of good hunters, they don't even have to see us, nobody will get harmed, but we will take their supplies, their medicine, their gold. It will scare them well enough and fear cuts deeper than swords."  
Robin shook his head resolutely. "No. I still remember the last time we did something like that and it cost me dearly. I will not have more casualties on my hands."  
"Robin, I know what you mean, but if they attack agai-" Robin made the younger hold his words with one sharp glance, anger flaring up behind old, yet still present pain.

"Perhaps it would do to figure out why they attacked us in the first place. We have had something of a truce with the king for many years, why did he suddenly deign it necessary to launch an attack?" The grey haired woman that had accompanied Regina in the camp during the battle proved to be somewhat of a voice of reason, even if Regina dreaded the question and it's answer. She felt Robin stiffen and tighten her hand around hers underneath the table, with his face showed no trace of his discomfort.  
"Because he's going senile." Grumbled a voice behind a wiry black beard, striking grey eyes peering out beneath thick, dark eyebrows.  
"The king is a feeble man, but it's not that bad. I'll tell you what's going on." Said a sandy haired man, about forty years of age. He leant into the table, gazing at each of them as if he were a child and had a secret to tell his friends. It unsettled Regina. "Someone convinced him to do this, someone has been after us ever since _she_ got here." He did not have to point, because everyone at the table instantly understood who the man had meant, most of all Regina herself. She wanted to crawl under the table and disappear, but fought to stay upright and stare them all down. She was, after all, their queen.  
"Nonsense." Said the old woman, but her words got lost in excited chatter and weighed down mumbling between men. Robin was quick to shut them down, however, slamming his fist into the table in an unusually aggressive act that had Regina jump away from the table.  
"_She_ is your queen and my _wife_, it would do well to hold your tongue, Tuck, unless you desire to lose it." Several of Robin's men frowned at his sudden fury, but they did cease their mumbling, a silence falling in the tent until one dared to speak again:  
"This is the second attack within barely a month, Robin, after over two years of peace. Even if she is innocent, it bears noticing."  
Robin sighed, pinching his forehead as his posture sagged slightly. He had no desire for his men to know the truth, but he also could not lie to his council. "Men …"  
"I bet it was that witch." Grumbled the bearded man , gaining attention of every member on the table. "The one that tried to kill Robin. _Her_ mother." He spat the words and Regina felt Robin clench her hand somewhat too tight in his as his anger flared up again. The man raised his voice, swinging both his hands in the air as he spoke with bellowing voice: "I swear, that was magic if I ever saw it. Garret told me that he saw her flinging a fireball and disappear into thin air. I swear, it's magic!"

The council once again busted out in chaos at his words, the word '_magic_' drawing an especially strong reaction. Robin had explained to her that many of his men believed that magic was something that belonged to nature and that it was not something for mankind to use, that is was something that the hands of men would only corrupt. It was why he had never told his man about this miraculous recovery or about how Regina had saved them. They would not believe in the light magic, instead imply calling her a witch and be done with it.  
"But if it was her mother, how do we know we can trust her?! What if she's evil too?" The squabbling of the council fell silent as the words left Craven's mouth, the youth himself cringing slightly as over a dozen pair of eyes were suddenly on him. "I … I mean, it would not be the first time that-"  
"You do not want to finish that sentence." Said Robin, his voice trembling with a darkness that filled the air in the tent with uncomfortable silence. He gazed into the eyes of each of the council members, standing up and letting go of Regina's hand to place both his hands flat on the table.  
"I would not be here if it wasn't for Regina. She saved my life two times now: where were you when my heart failed to keep beating? It was Regina who saved me that day. It was her who shot and arrow in the back of a man that would have killed me in the battle, not any of you." He did not tell them about the magic, but Regina still felt the truth that hid between his words, the gratitude and admiration that he carried for her. He balled his fists and shoved back the chair, stepping away from the table. "So if any of you even think to disrespect her, to doubt her, it would do well to look into your own heart and see where you stand."

The council fell deathly silent at his words.

"Dismissed." Declared Robin, taking Regina's hand and drawing her away from the tent in a furious pace, even if his grip on her hand was still gentle.

He continued walking until they reached the edge of one of the fire pits, only then letting her go and sitting down heavily.  
"Robin." Regina mumbled, taking his hand and stroking it softly. "It's okay."  
"Those morons." Gritted Robin through his teeth, angrily kicking dirt into the fire with his foot. "Those ungrateful…" He turned towards her, bringing up his hand to her face and stroking it with his thumb softly, even if his foot was still stomping angrily. "Calling you evil. _Evil._ How dare they even…" He grumbled, moving to pull back his hand, but was held back by Regina's own on top of it. Regina sighed, stroking her slim fingers over his thick ones softly.  
"Robin. I understand them and I understand that you're angry, but they are right about my mother; she is behind this and she will not stop." She leant into his hand and turned to press a kiss to his wrist, just above the lion tattoo that rested there. "We need to be prepared if she does. The council needs you." She gave a small smile and a gentle kiss to his lips. "Even if they're morons."  
Robin laughed bitterly, turning his gaze towards the tent were few of his councilmembers were standing at the entrance, evidently waiting for him to return. Robin groaned at the sight and pressed another kiss to her mouth, lingering longer this time and allowing himself to breathe in her scent. Regina finally pulled back, smiling at him. "I will wait here, I suspect my presence will only hinder any further counselling, just … just don't get yourself In trouble over me."  
"You're their queen, they should be honoured to have you on the council." Grumbled Robin, but he stood up and turned towards the council tent. "This is going to be a long day." He sighed, walking back towards the council tent to face his less-than-merry men.

* * *

Regina did not see him for the rest of day and it reminded her of the loneliness she had felt her earlier days in the encampment. Yet she was not as lonely as she had been before: she shared a bowl of broth and nut-bread with Mhairi's, practiced her archery lesson with a few young students and fed the squirrels with Roland. Even during supper Robin was nowhere to be found and she heard no word from the council aside from the times when the conversation would flame up into a shouting match, drawing attention from all members in camp. Now as the sun had and she had retreated to her camp, she was starting to feel the absence of his presence in her bed immensely, lying in bed and staring at the gentle movements of the canvas above her. She missed Robin's strong arms around her, the slight puffs of his breath against her hair and the way he would chuckle as she nuzzled into him. She had chosen to be with him that morning and now realized that there was nothing she wanted more in the world than to do just that.

Finally the waft of cool air and the slight rustle of tent canvas announced his arrival, followed closely by a tired grunt and the dipping of the bed as he sat down on top of it. Regina turned towards him and lifted her hand to stroke over his arm, turning her towards him. "How was it?"  
Robin turned back towards her, giving her a small smile as he let his jacket slip down from his shoulders. "Tiring." She sighed and he leant down to place a gentle kiss on her head. "Glad to be back with you, I can tell you that. I'm sorry that you were alone all day."  
Regina sat up on the bed and scooted towards him, her fingers weaving through his hair and travelling down his shoulders, moving to the front of his shirt and slowly undoing the buttons on it. "I wasn't alone. I was with Mhairi and your archers and with Roland."  
Robin smiled broadly at the mention of his son, some of the strain leaving his voice and the tension dissipation from his face at her words. "I'm so glad you get along with him, Regina, it means so much to me."  
Regina simply smiled at him. She had become quite fond of the boy and Roland seemed to have accepted her into his life more than anyone else but Robin had. Yet she did not speak about Roland, instead trailing down her fingers to unbutton his shirt, revealing his bare chest to her as she slid the thin tunic over his shoulders. Robin mirrored her smile and reached back to take the plaid shirt he wore in bed, but Regina halted him, bringing her hand behind her own back to unlace the intricate white sleeping gown, baring her front to him as it slid from her body. She saw Robin let out a heavy breath as he took in the curve of her breasts, her smooth skin bared for his touch. His eyes traced over the curves for just a second, before flicking back up to her eyes, a darkness already forming inside them. "Milady. I told you I only do this for love." He told her, his raspy voice making her tremble in anticipation.  
"I know." She said, the words leaving her in a single breath, her heart beating feverously against her chest. She brought up her hand to take his hand and pull him closer to her. "And I love you." She leant in to press a soft kiss to his mouth, pulling back before the touch of their lips could morph into anything more. She held him close to her as she spoke, their noses all but touching. "Remember our first night together? After our wedding? Remember what you told me?"  
Robin nodded, his breath tickling against Regina's lips as he answered. "I do. I said I would not share your bed until you wanted me to."  
Regina smiled, her hands sliding down towards his trousers, hooking her fingers over the rim and slowly pulling them down. "I want to. I choose you." She whispered against his lips.

She watched the storm in Robin's eyes brew, a myriad of emotions flickering there he suddenly turned from her and swung his legs from the bed. She saw his hands tremble as he took the ring from his finger and opened the drawer, placing it inside with a certain reverence. He then turned towards her, a question in his eyes and Regina understood what he was asking her about. Hands trembling like his as she moved her fingers to the back of her neck and took off the necklace, dropping it down on the palm of her hand and wrapping her hand around it, feeling the soft edges of the ring dig in the palm of her hand. She gave Robin a soft smile as she handed the necklace laced from memories to him. He gave it a place between his own and gently closed the drawer with a gentle thud. Neither spoke any words, because their feelings were of one kind and both understood without telling why or how. They were both broken the same way, so they both understood.

Robin turned back towards her and gave her a small smile, pressing a soft kiss towards her as he pushed her back to the bed. Regina gasped softly as she was gently placed back upon the soft fabric, the sheets caressing her skin in places that were rarely touched. Robin slid his hands upwards over her body tracing carefully over her calves and tickling softly over her stomach before reaching the curves of her breasts. He cupped one of them in his hand, his fingers trailing just past the sensitive skin at the tips of her breasts. Regina threw her head back and closed her eyes, allowing herself to let the foreign sensation of his touch take her to a place yet unknown to her. She took in a heavy breath and lifted her body just slightly as she felt the cool sensation of his tongue trailing just underneath the curve of her breast. It was a sensation that she had never felt before and as the tongue trailed up and flickered over her nipple, she gasped in surprise, heavier this time, as her hands found his head and pulled him closer to her. His other hand slid up her body to find her other breast, his rough, calloused hands stroking her skin gently. Regina threw her head back into the cushions and found her body curving up towards him of its own accord. She felt Robin smile against her breasts, stroking her sensitive skin one last time before moving his hands and mouth away from her chest. His mouth moved up and captured his mouth in hers, kissing her deeply as she gasped into his mouth. He took advantage of her gasp to deepen the kiss while his hands slid down her body, resting on her hips and trailing his thumb over the rim of her bones he found there. Regina kept her eyes closed, allowing herself to feel rather than see the things Robin was doing to her body: she smelled the smell of forest and sweat on Robin's skin, heard the short puffs of breath against her skin and the occasional hitching in his breath and she felt; she felt his fingers trailing towards the place between her legs were her panties were steadily becoming damp. She felt a blush creep up over her cheeks and could not help bringing her legs together slightly. Her mother had told her that it was not proper for a lady to bare herself that way, to show her desire to all the world so even with Daniel, she had felt self-conscious about her body's reaction to a lover's caress. Robin's hand slid up to her leg, his thumb trailing over the rough skin of her knee as he broke the kiss, prompting her to open her eyes.  
"Do you want me to stop?" Robin asked on a heavy breath, already taking his hands away from her body, leaving it nearly weeping with the sudden absence of his touch. Regina shook her head, one hand flying back to catch his and bringing it back to her thigh, taking in a heady breath at the touch.  
"No. Just … give me a second." She whispered, as she placed her leg back upon the bed, her blush reddening her cheeks as she parted her legs on a stuttering breath. Robin's turbulent eyes stared into hers as he cocked his head and brought up one hand to trace a finger over her cheeks.  
"There's no need to be ashamed, Regina." He whispered as he lifted himself up slightly, his eyes trailing over her body. "You are so beautiful."  
Regina turned her head slightly, but gave a slight nod for him to continue his explorations of her body.

He slowly moved one hand towards the soft fabric of her panties, hooking his fingers over the rim of the delicate garment. With nimble fingers Robin softly pulled it down over the curve of her buttocks and her long legs, taking care as he placed it beside them on the nightstand. He traced up his fingers back over her legs, past her trembling knees and nervously tense thighs until he reached the place where she was aching for him. Regina gasped and felt her arms tremble in anticipation as he swiped one strong finger between her folds. He stilled his finger against her for a second, turning to gaze in her eyes for a second before he pressed a kiss to her lips, allowing more of his weight to rest against her body. She felt his finger sliding through the wetness between her legs as he kissed her lazily, not quite working her up, but leaving her aching for a firmer touch between her legs.  
She shot up from the bed the second he gave it to her; a firm swipe against a particularly sensitive place that laid hidden somewhere unknown to Regina. She gasped as Robin pressed down on the spot and threw her head back slightly, pushing her breasts up against his chest. She felt Robin smile as he moved down over her chin to nip softly at her neck, drawing silent moans from his lover.

"That good?" He whispered huskily and Regina could only nod, because before she could answer, he used two fingers to gently rub the soft nub and her words left her in a soft breath. Daniel had been gentle with her, but he had never found this wonderful place where Robin's hand was touching her now. With Daniel it had always been quick, hurried and forbidden, the boy had never had the opportunity to take his time with her. He had understood, but now it was hard to imagine sharing her body so intimately who seemed to know so little about it. But Robin, Robin seemingly knew her body better than he did herself.

A sound somewhere between startled gasp and a pleased moan left her body as Robin gently inched one finger inside of her. The feeling had become foreign to her since Daniel had been lost to her. Somehow it made her eyes fly open in an age old fear, because as pleasant as this had ever been with Daniel; it had always been shadowed by fear for Cora. Robin was quick to notice her apparent discomfort and quickly moved to pull away from her, yet Robin grasped his hand and shook her head.  
"No." She said, her voice already raspy even though she had barely made a sound. She had never been loud with Daniel, had thought herself to keep in the sounds of her pleasure and to sin in silence. She stroked his hand and gave him a small smile, her chest already heaving and her breaths stuttering. "Just … a memory." She whispered, her eyes meeting his and he gave her a sad smile in answer, bringing up his free hand to cup her cheek. He pressed his lips towards hers in a languid kiss. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel; to feel the soft kiss against her upper lips and the gentle press of fingers against those between her legs. When she opened her eyes again the thoughts of Daniel and Cora were gone, discarded on the floor with her clothing. She would put them on again in the morrow and the thoughts would return, but not now. Now she just wanted to feel, to be alive. So she opened her eyes again and brought up her legs to gently wrap themselves around his middle, her eyes staring into his for a second before she captured his lips in a kiss that set them both on fire.

Robin immediately replied by pushing his finger deeper between her legs, making moan tear through Regina's gentle figure that was near impossible to hold back. A strangled sound left her throat, the silenced moan raking through her body making her curve up towards him. At her reply he quickly swept his thumb over the sensitive spot above her folds again, adding a second finger and pushing against her just seconds later. Regina grasped the sheets and sighed as her body quickly adjusted to the foreign but welcome pressure.

Then Robin's mouth was on her again, gentle kisses tracing past her cheekbones towards her earlobe, where he softly bit down before whispering in her ear: "Talk to me, Regina." He gasped. "You don't have to hold back." His words were little more than gentle puffs that tickled against her ears.  
"It feels good." Regina mumbled on a gasp as Robin continued moving his fingers inside her. Her lover softly chuckled as he suddenly curled his fingers inside of her, drawing a loud gasp from his wife that made her blush with the volume of her pleasure. Yet Robin only replied by biting down and increasing the speed of his thrusts, setting up a rhythm that had Regina's body singing in pleasure.  
Robin's fingers were still gentle as they ever were, but the force behind them was undeniable and suddenly Regina felt the strength that rested in his lean fingers that could kill as easily as they could make one feel alive. His fingers were steady inside of her and did not once fail in their rhythm or trail from their path, even as she writhed on the soft fabric of the bed, hitting the spot that made her toes curl with every move. Regina gasped as Robin curled his fingers inside her again, feeling the both the wetness and pressure between her legs increase tenfold. She brought up her other leg to wrap around him, her body fighting to arch up against him despite the angle, pressing her breasts against his chest. Robin grunted lowly in her ear and shifted slightly, changing the angle of his trusts into one that made Regina delirious with pleasure. Robin was still wearing his trousers, she had the clarity of mind to notice, but she still felt his hardness pressing just beside the apex of her legs.

Regina pushed her hips into his, not only forcing his fingers deeper inside her, but also allowing her body to stroke his hardness as it pressed more forcefully against her skin, begging for entrance where it could not go. His fingers were nimble and gentle, but feeling her pushing against her insistently, there was little doubt what both their bodies craved. So she pushed him away from her body, surprising him with her sudden initiative as she pushed him down and crawled on top of him. Robin chuckled roughly, but his laughed turned into a groan as Regina palmed him through his pants once before pulling trousers and shorts down in one movement, baring him to her as much as she was to him. She crawled up his body, seeking his eyes and biting her lip. Her body knew what it wanted, but she had never tried such a thing in her days with Daniel, had always allowed him to take the lead, some years her senior as he was. But she was not the innocent little girl she had been with Daniel anymore and Robin was not the forbidden stable boy that she could not stay away from. This was Robin, the lord of the Sherwood forest, the finest archer in the land and the most gentle lover she had ever known. And he wanted her, and she wanted him more than she could ever have thought possible.  
"I love you." She whispered hoarsely, pressing her lips against his again in an open mouthed kiss.  
She half expected Robin to turn her around and push into her like he had with his fingers earlier. Instead he moved both hands to her hips and gave her a smile that would have been encouraging, if it hadn't been breathless and paired with eyes so dark they were near black. Regina mirrored his smile before pressing a soft kiss to his lips and lifting herself up, sliding back until she was above him. Robin did not stir, allowing her to take the initiative, even is his jaw was clenched and his muscles tense from holding back.

Finally Regina closed her eyes and slid down upon his length. She tensed and gasped as he filled her, but her body was quick to adjust to his length. Robin let out a heavy grunt and Regina's eyes flew open as she felt Robin's length twitch inside her slightly, felt her own body already pulsing around it.  
"You feel so good, Regina." Robin told her on a groan, one hand lifting up to grasp the back of her head and bring her closer to him. Regina gasped in reply as she carefully dared to move on top of him, sliding up and down his length in a slow rhythm that had her legs straining. As she closed her eyes she smelled the faint smell of forest still on him, overwhelmed by the fragrance of sweat and sex that lingered on both their bodies. She heard Robin's groans, his deep and rumbling moans that would erupt in breathless gasps, sometimes sounding like her name. She felt her own inner muscles clench around him, but her body wept for more, more force, more rhythm, more pleasure and she gasped.  
"Robin." She whispered as he pressed down on him, trying to find the angle that would relieve the pressure, that would take her over that wonderful edge that was in sight but she could not reach. "Ro-" She lost her track as her muscles contracted fiercely as she trust down upon his length hard, but it was not enough. Robin groaned thickly and both his hands flew up to her hips as he breathed out her name on a struggling breath.

Suddenly, without any warning, Robin pushed her from him to lay her down on the bed again. Her back had barely touched the fabric before he was back between her legs with a force that she had not dared to move with before, but she now found was all she wanted. Robin gasped against her, but if there were any words intended they got lost in the chaos of his groans and incoherent mumblings. He pounded into her as his hands seemed to desire to be everywhere at once: trailing through her hair, palming her breasts, stroking her numb and trailing back up to cup her buttocks in his firm hands.  
"Gods, Regina." He gasped as he pounded into her, one hand finding rest upon her breast while the other lay content pressing against the nub between her legs. He was strong inside of her and as Regina brought up her legs to wrap around him again, the change of angle made her let out a keening cry. Regina herself could not find the words to speak to him anymore, but also could not find the strength to hold any of her pleasure back anymore. Robin replaced the hand on her breast with his mouth and sucked one of her nipples in his mouth. Regina let out a keening cry at the sensation of his warm, wet mouth against her breast and Robin took advantage of his freed hand to cup her buttocks and lift her up from the bed further.  
"Oh." Regina let out a breathless gasp at the new angle that allowed Robin to hit a spot inside her that made her body tremble and clench and do everything that felt _right_ at the very same time. Robin let out a groan as she clenched around him tightly, his rhythm faltering for a second, before he picked up his speed and pounded into her faster with so much force that it left both of them breathless.

"Oh gods." She mirrored his earlier words, barely getting them out as her body bowed back and lifted from the bed as she writhed into the pillows. She felt Robin's rhythm falter inside her, heard his heavy groans and felt the erratic movements of his hands stroking against her.  
"Regina I'm – oh god."

She barely heard his words, because he was still pounding into her and carrying her away and she did not care about anything else, as long as he did not stop this. She let out a keening cry as Robin's thumb pushed down heavily between her legs and suddenly she was flying flying flying, a cry tearing from her throat that would be heard all around the camp. Her body sang in pleasure and clenched around him and for a second she was not sure if the world went black or white before her eyes. She was vaguely aware of Robin's low grunt, his crying of her name as he reached his own peak and emptied himself deep inside of her, but the rest of the world had fallen closed around them and neither cared about it any longer.

Robin remained on top of her for a long while, neither willing to let the other go. Only long after he had already softened inside of her, after her body had stopped twitching and singing in pleasure and she felt his seed trickling down her legs did he roll off her. Neither spoke a word and neither desired to, instead Regina rolled into him and pressed herself against his strong body, burying her face against him and closing her eyes, breathing in his scent. He still smelled like forest like he had before, but he also smelled different; like sweat and sex and _her._  
She heard Robin's breaths even out quickly as he fell asleep, his arm wrapped around her and her face pressed against him. It took Regina longer to doze off, her body still singing with the remainders of her pleasure, but she did not mind. Instead she trailed soft figures over his strong muscles and pressed shadows of kisses to his strong arms.  
"I love you." She whispered into the night sky, resting her head upon his chest as she fell asleep to the sound of the strong beating of his heart.

* * *

***hides***


	17. Chapter 17

**I did not plan another M rated scene in this chapter, but the plot bunnies did what they do so there's just a smidge of it here. Luckily, also some plot. I hope you like this chapter, wishing you all well from the hovel in France were internet is a scarce thing. Also, I usually announce the new chapter on tumblr as well, but since my laptop would probably die if I tried to log on tumblr with this internet connection, I can't do that. If somebody could post a thing about it on tumblr and throw in a few tags that would be wonderful. have a nice day everyone x**

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The gentle tapping of rain against canvas was a sound that Regina was still largely unfamiliar with. Her days in the forest had been mostly warm and sunny and she could barely remember another that she had woke up to see the contours of raindrops trickling down the canvas of the tent, like black paint against a matted golden backdrop. Even more foreign, however, was the sensation of fingers gently tracing figures on the bared expanse of her back, the gentle breaths against the back of her head and the warmth that seemed to radiate from Robin's body directly pressed against hers. She had never before woken up to thoroughly wrapped in somebody else, least of all a lover. With Daniel she had rarely gotten the chance to lay with him in the aftermath of their forbidden escapades, but even then such times were quick and fleeting, never reaching into the morning.

As she stirred slightly she felt Robin's strong arm slide from her back slightly, his thumb caressing her spine. When she turned around she was met with the grey waters of Robin's eyes. They were calm now, but she knew that those same eyes could turn stormy if there was need to. His eyes flickered over her face lazily and she could tell well that sleep still had a light hold on him. His eyes were not as sharp as they usually were, his face less strained and his mouth pulled in a lazy, almost dreamy, smile Regina thought she had never seen him look younger. As she snuggled into him it was easy to pretend he was a boy her age she had chosen to share her bed with, instead of a man twice her age she had been forced towards. Yet she found that the truth no longer was something to be avoided and that, for once, she did not dread waking up at all. She sighed as she buried her head against Robin's chest, the sound of his heart beating lazily but steadily beneath her chest near lulling her back to sleep again. It would have, if Robin had not pulled back slightly and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. It was dry mouthed and slightly sticky and perhaps his breath was not as fresh as it usually was, but she was too wrapped up in the blissful morning to notice any of it.  
"Good morning." Robin's voice was raspy with sleep, yet sent tingles down Regina's back that Robin somehow followed with his fingertips. He gave her a crooked smile and brought up one hand to push her long hair away from her face, combing his fingers through it and carefully working out some knots. Of course Regina had heard his voice in the morning before and of course he had told her good morning often, even while sharing her bed, but never had they woken up wrapped against each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world, so Regina could not find an answer. So she smiled and nodded, answering that what Robin did not even deem a question in the first place.  
"I love you." Robin in turn answered a question that Regina did not feel the need to ask, yet her heart longed to hear the answer to again and again. Robin gave her a crooked smile and she knew her eyes had lit up at the words, that her mouth had turned itself into a smile without her consent. Robin, she realized, played her body better than she could herself. "I figured I owed you that." He chuckled slightly, but his eyes and voice spoke serious honestly.  
Regina blushed at the memory of the night before, remembering how oft she had told him the words. She had not told Daniel often enough and her heart was a traitor to her, trying to fill the void of one love with another. It was silly, but matters of the heart often were. She told Robin nothing of the troubles of her heart-that-remembered, however, simply giving him a shy smile and bringing up her own hand to brush over the hairs covering his cheeks. Not quite a stubble now, but also not yet a beard. "You don't … owe me that." She whispered, a chuckle forming in her throat that never quite reached all the way to her mouth and voice. "I just … kept saying it, I guess."  
Robin laughed softly, his eyes creasing in the way that made Regina's heart jump. "I've always believed in actions over words, but I must say." He pressed another kiss to her forehead. "I can never hear, or _say_, those words enough."  
Regina smiled. "Good."

"Daddy!" The blissful lazy morning was interrupted by an approaching storm that carried the name Roland. As the little brown-eyed, chestnut-haired came running into the tent, Regina had barely any time to scoot away from her husband and pull the covers up to hide her bare skin from the boy. Robin himself also seemed uncharacteristically rattled by the sudden intrusion, his still somewhat sleepy eyes scouring ever corner of the tent until they landed upon the little boy that had already jumped on the bed and was now crawling towards him. "Gina!" Roland gave her a toothy grin the moment he noticed her and Regina could not help answering it with a grin of equal fervour. She dimly realized that perhaps Robin would want to scold Roland for actions such as running into tents and jumping on beds, but the boy was simply too cute to even try to discipline. Robin seemed to agree with her, or perhaps thought it was too early to attempt anything but snuggle, and welcomed the boy in a sweaty hug. Roland scrunched up his nose in a way that made him look eerily like his father.  
"You're smelly." The boy complained, writhing in Robin's arms to get free from his father's grip. "and sticky." Robin ignored his son's complains and nuzzled his face against the boy, his fingers moved down to his son's belly to tickle, but Roland pushed him away with little but determined hands. "And prickly!" Roland announced, his both hands mapping his father's cheeks.  
"I rather thought I was fuzzy." Robin told his son with feigned surprise. He then give a sly smile to his wife and ruffled his son's hair with a hand that nearly spanned the boy's entire scalp. "Besides. Gina likes me this way."  
Roland scrunched his nose again and turned towards Regina, his face contorted in a look that could only be explained as disdain. He eyed Regina for a while before shaking his head with a determination that made Regina chuckle.  
"Really?" Roland asked, his tone more lecturing than questioning and Regina's mouth pulled into a smirk at the thought of Roland sitting on Robin's council as one of the merry men. Doubtless the four year old boy would be a more sensible member of Robin's council than some of those she had seen the day before. Roland gave her a sharp poke when she did not answer, something Robin scolded him lightly for.  
"Well." Regina answered with a crooked grin at her husband. "I do admit he could use a bath. He _is_ smelly."

Robin grinned. "Oh I bet."

* * *

After having decided that Roland's accusations were actually not that ungrounded, Robin had decided that a bath was certainly to be desired and Regina had followed him to the river without him even asking. Even as they reached the river a light drizzle was still pouring from the sky, dancing with the faint sunrays of morning that peeked through puffs of clouds. It was early in the morning, most of the camp still asleep as they had walked through the camp to the river. Regina was glad; it meant that their morning was unlikely to disturbed by nagging council members just yet. She had placed her clothing for the day on the faithful rock that oft fulfilled that task. The dress she had picked was perhaps too positive in the face of a rainy day; a wavy, knee high dress of white fabric that took a golden shine to it as she moved, adorned with golden-black flowers that travelled from her neck to her waist in a lazy spiral. The dress was tailored to fit her body, but it sported neither a belt nor a corset and overall felt a comfortable, light dress for raised spirits.

As she turned towards the river, Robin was already submerged waist-deep in the river, the cold apparently not bothering him in the least. She allowed herself to take in his body for a second. Of course she had seen him naked –and more- the night before, but a full view was something that still deserved a semblance of attention. Robin gave a grin as he caught her gaze and gestured for her to come towards him. Regina quickly grabbed the knife in one hand and the salt-and-oil mixture in the other, before wading into the icy waters towards her husband.  
Robin placed his hands on her arms as soon as she reached him, rubbing up and down them much like he had at their wedding. Regina laughed softly and fumbled with the knife and bowl as to not drop them in the water. Robin quickly noticed and took the bowl from her, gently putting it on the water and allowing the simple carved wood to float on the water between them.  
"I need both hands." He told her simply with a gentle twinkle in his eyes. The next moment his hands were gently rubbing up and down her arms again, this time slightly scratching her skin with the salty mixture. His strong hands remained on her skin long after the oil had been thoroughly rubbed on her skin, kneading her muscles in a way much like he had some days before the attack. Then finally he took the knife from her hands and placed it against her skin, taking his time to gently but surely scrape against her skin with the knife. Regina sighed content at his touch, finally understanding why where many traditions had gone lost, this one hadn't.

After Regina's arms had gone slightly red but impossibly soft from the treatment, Robin gently placed the knife in the bowl and let his hands trail down to just above her breasts. His hands were still slightly oily, but not as much as they should be to properly clean her skin. Regina did not care in particular, slightly pressing her front into his hands with a smirk. Robin did not need more encouragement, tracing his fingers down to cup her breasts and trace his fingers over the tender skin. Regina gasped softly as he played with the particularly sensitive nub on her breast for a second, before he trailed one hand down to slide over the curves of her backside, pulling him slightly closer to him. "Do you trust me?" He whispered. Regina nodded.

She gasped when she felt a press of a knife against the skin above her breasts. The knife was fairly blunt, crafted for bathing, but still sharp enough to inflict a semblance of harm if not handled with care. Robin, however, did so with the utmost precision, scraping even the skin perilously close to her nipple in a way that left Regina breathless. The hand on her backside travelled up again to slide over the skin of her left breast as Robin turned his attention to her right one. Robin was patient, working the knife on her one breast and his fingers on the other until his lover let out a slightly frustrated groan and pushed her body closer to him, slinging her arms around him and boring her nails in his back. Regina's skin was prickling, electric and buzzing even as the cold water of the river tried to cool her down. Her body screamed for him, a heady warmth having formed between her legs the icy water could not even begin to wash away. She wanted him, so she untangled one arm from behind him and dropped it beneath the water surface to find him. Robin let out a rumbling groan when she found evidence of his need that had gone neatly hidden beneath the water surface. As she wrapped one hand around him loosely and stroked him slowly, Robin's hand trembled and stuttered in its previously deft and sure path against her skin.  
"R-egina." He gasped as she continued to stroke him softly He clutched the knife tightly, still holding it against her skin but apparently not daring to move it. "I'm tr-trying to…" He groaned as she bit her lip and flicked her fingers over his tip before trailing down to his base and slowly stroking him. "I'm-"

His words left him the moment he met his wife's eyes, because he didn't think they had ever looked more beautiful to him: the brown depths of her eyes had darkened to a near black shade, a storm swirling inside that was as threatening as it was alluring. Yet her eyes also seemed lighter at the same time, shining with a bright golden glow every time she smirked or bit her lip that could only be described as magical. It was impossible to deny those eyes anything and if he was honest, impossible to deny himself this too. He had the clarity of mind to toss the knife towards the shore before bringing his arms around her backside and lifting her up easily. Regina let out a soft moan on a hitched breath as he sheathed himself inside her slowly.

He made love to her lazily, taking care to map the crevices and creases of her body that had gone forgotten the night before, to remember every sound that she made; the little hitch in her breath when he kissed her in that spot behind her ear, the rumbling yet silent moan low in her throat when he found her pulse and sucked her there, the way she would never hold back any sounds when he was kissing her or the way he could caress and tease her until she could no longer hold the sounds back, even if his mouth was otherwise occupied. Only when he felt her clench around him hard, gripping him so tight he thought he would spill before she would get the chance to reach her high, he spoke to her.  
"Open your eyes, Regina. Look at me." He told her breathlessly as he could no longer will his hips to stop moving against her. She was close and Robin found it difficult to concentrate with her fluttering against him as she panted with every thrust Robin made. Regina let out a breathless moan at his words and opened her eyes, gazing into his just as she gripped him tightly and tumbled down into the abyss of pleasure.

Robin managed to held back his own pleasure long enough to see her eyes glow bright golden as she reached her high, before his body betrayed him and the world went blissfully blank.

* * *

Regina did finish her bath after the unplanned but definitely not unpleasant escapade in the river. After Robin had finished cleaning her legs with the same precision he had used on her arms and front, he had taught Regina how to handle the knife to return to favour, as was tradition. Later Robin had trimmed his not-quite-beard back to a stubble and both of them had dried off with sturdy towels and dressed as was planned.

As Regina walked back into the encampment, thoroughly refreshed and awake, she found that most of the members at camp had also risen and were at least awake enough to cast glances at her and Robin. Regina blushed as she remembered that most of the them had most likely heard her and Robin the night before, as they had not exactly managed to stay quiet. Her suspicion was quickly confirmed as one let out a high whistle and others let out a rumbling laugh. She knew it was primarily aimed at Robin, a jest between friends, but it made a blush creep up her neck anyway. Her husband seemed to notice her discomfort and shut his men up with one sharp glance.  
"Jyck, it would do for you to pay more attention to yourself than to others." Robin shouted at a young man with prickly red hair and a hint of a beard and moustache forming on his face. Combined with the bright sparkling of his blue eyes, he looked on odd combination of child and adult. Jyck nudged his friend, who let out another laugh at something the redheaded boy said.  
"Apologies, m'lord!" Shouted Jyck. "It's just that humour has been sorely lacking lately, we didn't mean harm m'lord." He turned his head to Regina and gave a slight bow with a crooked grin. "M'lady."

Robin frowned and shook his head on a sigh. He understood that his men longed for the light-hearted jests and spirited stories imbued with wine and women in an attempt to forget the horrors of battle that had cost them many a friend, but he found that memories of such were not easily pushed away by jests or fests. Besides, Robin remembered well enough that the battle had not been so much won as halted and could commence again at any moment, if the king would not prove reasonable.  
"I'm afraid humour will be lacking for days to come as well." Robin said solemnly as he walked to the campfire were many men and women were gathered already. He gestured for Regina to take place on one of the logs and sat next to her, more men already gathering at the campfire around them. They felt something was about to happen, as did Regina. A rare silence fell.

"Yesterday the Merry Men convened about the battle that was and the one that might be to come." Robin told them, the only other sound the creaking and complaining of the morning fire. "Whether we did or did not win the last battle, we will not win the next one. Of that the council is convinced. We do not desire a war, yet it is unthinkable that we allow outsiders to come and defile the Sherwood forests with blood and violence without any kind of explanation or reason." He knew the reason, of course. Regina had told him about Cora's manipulation of the king, but he was not enough a fool as to tell his men that. Not as long as it was not necessary. "The king is a fallible man, but also a reasonable one. He lost men in the last battle as did we, I do not believe he truly desires a war with the Sherwood forest. This is why I have sent an envoy of five unarmed rangers, led by little John, with a request for a parley and hopefully a peace." A gasp went through the camp at Robin's words. Some protests went up and overall most expressed concern about the fate of those sent to the king, but Robin only nodded as if he had anticipated the reaction. "I understand your concern. But the king is not stupid nor brave enough to capture our men sent under protection the law –his _own law_- to request parley. I have invited the king into our forests that we may discuss the matters under the watchful eye of the Sherwood forest herself."  
Robin stood up and looked at his men and women at camp: already heavily armed, even in the morning, always expecting some danger to show up from the trees. "If the king abides by our terms and arrives here, which I sorely hope he will, it will be in spirits of peace. I order every men, every woman and every child to leave his weapons in our armoury when the king arrives. Any weapon spotted by the king's men could cost us our peace and our lives. Ignoring this order will be seen as betrayal and will thus be punishable by death." His words sent a chill through the camp and before anyone could voice protests or questions, Robin had turned around and was marching back to his tent, taking Regina with him.

* * *

The morning was a silent one, pregnant with a heady tension that prevented any jokes and jests that Robin knew his camp was yearning for. He promised himself that if the king would abide by his request and they would manage to secure a peace, he would give his men and women the fest they desired. Now, however, there was little room for such things as he sat next to his wife and opposite a ranger sent ahead by little John.  
"The king has agreed to parley in the Sherwood forest, but requests to bring a squad of four to protect him. They will, however, be unarmed, as you per your terms." The ranger reported. Robin nodded at the king's request. He was no fool; the king's men would perhaps be indeed unarmed, but they most definitely would not be undangerous. The ranger continued on a calm note, almost as if he were reading the words right from the page of a book: "He also requests that the parley takes place not in your camp, but in a place away from memories of war and warriors."  
Robin nodded again. "A sensible request. The parley will take place by the waterfall of the gods' tears, where it is forbidden to shed blood. Tell the king I agree to his terms as I have agreed to his."  
The ranger nodded again. "Gods be with you, Robin."  
"Gods be with us all."

* * *

It was near evening by the time the king heeded Robin's request and arrived at the Sherwood forest. Another ranger had been sent ahead preceding his arrival and every bow, knife and arrowhead had been contained to the armoury, leaving the members at the encampment more nervous than Regina had ever seen them. Robin had told her that the armoury was hardly used, as a ranger slept and woke with his own in reach and rarely was without at least a little knife to protect himself. Disarming the encampment had met with some protest, but Robin had eventually succeeded.

The king arrived at camp with none of the pomp and circumstance that Regina had come to know about him. Regina had often brought her to see the royal ceremonies were the king would be present. It had not mattered what is was about and Cora had never listened to a word the king said, whether it was about laws, wars or the birth of his daughter, all she would tell Regina was; "one day it will be you up there." And point to the queen. Those ceremonies had always been filled with music and a hundred men would surround the king in colours so vibrant that Regina would see them in her dreams. The king would seem to be near a god to her during those processions, now he seemed barely the man Regina remembered him to be.

The king was a man many years older than Robin and several leagues shorter. His plucky, grey hair failed to hide a bald spot forming on the back of his head and even the beautiful golden crown could not hide the deep creases on his forehead and around his mouth. He was dressed in clothing similar to Regina had grown used to see him in; an expensive-looking red tunic embroidered with golden threat and gemstones for buttons, covered by a thick, blood red cape lined with spotted back and white fur. Yet up close the buttons of his tunic struggled against the king's widening girth and the cape had obviously suffered injuries from the travel and forest. Still the king carried himself with a royal grace and the crown was still a perhaps fit around his slightly reddened head.  
"I do apologise for our late arrival. It seems that our horses were unable to reach your camp, thus forcing us to go by foot for some time." The king was soft spoken and standing in front of Robin, Regina wondered if he had ever been half the warrior that Robin was. Yet Robin gave a bow and a soft smile. "You are not the first to happen upon that problem, your grace. The roads to Sherwood forest have long since gone lost, no horse has reached here since."

Regina thought of River, the mare that Robin had given her as an engagement gift. Robin's men had been especially wary of the animal and Regina agreed with them that there was little space to house a horse in the encampment, thus Robin had arranged to build a fence around a valley near a hundred leagues from the encampment and house the horse there. Regina had visited her mare just after and had concluded that, while housing a horse in the middle of a forest was odd, it was as good a home for a horse as any. Still, Robin had told the king that no horse had reached the Sherwood forest and was determined to keep the old roads that he had showed he a secret from the king. Robin bowed and greeted the king with courtesy, but Regina knew he distrusted him as much as the next member of his clan.

"Let us not talk of days past, however, your grace. As is my privilege as heir lord, It is my pleasure to welcome you into the Sherwood forest." Robin said pleasantly, giving a gentle if slightly stiff nod to the knights accompanying the king. The king gave a small smile and cocked his head just slightly in question.  
"You are indeed the lord of these forests, Robin. It has always been my understanding that these woods are by law still part of my kingdom, yet many men think of you as king of these woods. Might I take this opportunity to inquire after the nature of these forests?"  
Robin gave a smile, but Regina knew him well enough to hear the strain in his voice as he spoke: "I would be inclined to say that the Sherwood Forests belong to no one, but I adhere by your statement that you are still –by law- king of the Sherwood forest. I am merely the lord of the forest, yet I cannot help it if men come to see me as a king for it." Regina remembered how Cora had called Robin 'king' of the Sherwood forests and how the ranger that had greeted them told them that they cared little for the titles of an outsider. Some men called Robin king, some called him their lord, some called Regina a queen and others called her a lady. Regina did not care for the titles, but felt with a haunting certainty that Robin not being a king would feel a betrayal for Cora, perhaps it was why she had poisoned his heart and lied to the king.  
The king, however, seemed content by Robin's assurance that he still owned the forest he had no real interest in owning. "Well then, let's take this to a more secluded spot to parley, shan't we?" he said amiably and Robin nodded, gesturing for the king and whoever permitted to join the parley to follow.

Robin lead the king to the waterfall where the parley was to take place, taking only Regina and Roland with him, while the king took two of his knights. Robin had explained to her that his father would take him to official matters since he had been four years old as well to prepare him for the leadership he would one day carry as well. Regina wondered if the little boy that nervously stood behind his father truly understood what was going on, but had respectably nodded at her husband's words. As much as she sometimes wished it, Roland was not her son and it was not her place to decide about the boy she had only known for some months.

"The Sherwood forests has beauty unknown to the outsider's eye." The king commented when they reached the waterfall, his voice so soft that the crashing water rendered it near inaudible. Regina knew what the king meant; from the outside the Sherwood forest looked an impenetrable darkness, the only colour coming trees seemingly permanently stuck in autumn. Regina couldn't help a smile at Robin's slightly confused frown. Robin did not have the eyes of the outsider, little did he understand the king's words.  
"I daresay you are also of a beauty unknown, my lady." The king turned to her, giving a slight bow which Regina quickly replied to with a curtsy. When she glanced up into the king's eyes, she saw a pensive frown on his face. "Are you aware that the very war I waged against your lord … husband… was to free you? It is my understanding that he took you away from your mother without your consent. My intentions were only to return you to your dear mother, I did not desire the war that followed by your lord husband's hand."  
Regina saw Robin tense next to her, so she quickly took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "I am here because I wish to be, your grace. Whatever different story my mother told you must be the desperate words of a mother missing her child." She felt Robin tense again, this time in surprise and confusion at her words. She knew he'd wanted to tell the king the truth about Cora, but Regina knew that her mother was a better manipulator than she herself was and that the truth would bring nothing but her mother's wrath down upon them.  
"Ah yes, children." Said the king, his eye falling upon little Roland who was peeking out from the back of Roland's legs. "We love our children from the moment we lay eyes upon them and never stop loving them, no matter what they do." The king kneeled down and motioned for Roland to walk towards him, stroking one hand through the brown curls as the boy reached him. "In a way, they are our greatest weakness and our greatest strength. Our love for our children can make us do unspeakable things."  
The king looked up to Regina, something shining in his eyes that made shivers run down Regina's body. "I wish you'd learnt that."

Things went fast after that. Before Regina could even utter a word of warning or reach for the little boy that suddenly seemed to be in so much danger, a familiar purple cloud had enveloped the king and Robin's four-year old son. She heard Robin shout Roland's name in fear and confusion, bidding the boy to return to him. He did not.

Seconds later the smoke cleared and Roland was still there, scared but unscathed and with a glittering knife pressed to his neck. The boy had gone stiff in terror, not daring to even scream as he metal pressed against his skin. Regina felt much like the boy as she took in the figure that she had feared since she saw the purple cloud and smelt the familiar scent of magic in the air. She shrieked more in anger or terror than in surprise, because somehow she did not expect to ever be free of her again.

"Mother!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Someone asked me about this and I forgot to answer, so I thought I'd make this clear for everybody: Regina is ****seventeen**** in this story, while Robin is about the age he is on the show too. (in my head he's ****34****, but I do not actually know how old Robin is supposed to be on the show) That makes Robin about twice as old as Regina. I am well aware of that age difference, yet I could not see Cora marrying Regina off to a younger man, seeing as men in power are rarely under thirty in societies like the enchanted forest. (plus, she married Regina off to a king thrice her age on the show). I hope that's clear, as always thank you for reading!**

* * *

As usual, Cora carried herself with an air of entitlement, even when holding a knife to a four year olds neck. Even if the glittering metal was pressed so tight against the skin that Roland did not dare move, Cora held the knife with an air of nonchalance that made chills run down Regina's body, because her mother simply did not _care. _Cora pursed her bright red lips, a stark contrast to her face that was almost impossibly white. "I do apologise for all the theatre, but the last time I poofed into camp I got pelted with arrows. I just want a civil conversation. A parley, is it not?"  
Regina felt bile already rising up in her throat at her mother's words. The younger version of her, the one that allowed herself to be led by the hand into a loveless marriage, might have believed it. Might have believed that her mother truly desired nothing but her happiness. Now she was barely a month older, but she saw things clearly: she now only saw her mother's manipulations, her lies.  
"It's hard to parley when you're holding a knife to my son's throat." Robin's voice was unlike Regina had ever heard of him; his teeth were clenched so tightly together that the only sounds he could make were barely more than growls. Regina had heard of the wolf people that inhabited the depths of the enchanted forest, their rage was said to be unlike anything known to men. This was what Regina had imagined as a little girl. Robin did not move a muscle, yet he looked more dangerous than he ever had before, even with bow drawn.  
"It's hard to parley when you're pointing arrows at me." Cora said airily, her red lips twisting into a smile at her own cleverness. She had not only effectively gotten Regina away from the camp, but also rendered her husband completely defenceless. "Anyway, like I said, I just want to talk. I'm not going to harm your boy."  
Regina saw Robin's fists clench beside her, saw the strain in his body and the rigid lines of his jaws. Everything in him was poised to attack, but he had no weapons nor any hope of winning. Regina glanced at Roland and had to take a deep breath to steady herself before quickly grabbing his hand. She felt Robin flinch slightly beneath her skin and quickly let his hand go. It broke her heart a bit, but she understood; his son was in danger, he could not think about her, not when the very source of the danger was so immediately connected to her.

"What do you want?" Gritted Robin through his teeth and Cora gave another smug smile, as if she had been anticipating his question long before he had thought to ask it.  
"The same as you: my child." Cora answered, gesturing to Regina with her free hand. Regina stiffened, the newfound urge to fight battling against the age old urge to just give up and give her mother what she wanted. She felt Robin's gave flicking towards her, before turning back to her mother. "You are mistaken about what I want, my _lady." _He spat the title at her with nothing of the fondness he would use to speak to his wife. "I want Roland to be happy."  
Cora rolled her eyes. "If you want to compare parenting skills, fine: your boy grows up in a forest, with no future than to stay in this forest and die in this same godforsaken place. I'm giving my daughter_ everything:_ my daughter will be more than what she was when she was born, she will be _better. _My daughter will be queen and _then_ she will be truly happy." Regina saw Robin's stance falter, a speckle of confusion brimming in his eyes, but then the knife glittered and the rage for who would harm his son returned full force. Cora silenced Robin's reply before he would even form it with a flick of her wrist, an invisible force punching him in the gut and making him bow over, drawing a sharp shriek from Regina.  
"But your opinion is of no matter to me, I care only about your choice. I want to make a trade with you, _Lord_ Robin." She spat out the title in a same matter he had, disdain dripping from her voice. "You get your son and I get my daughter.

"Mother!" Regina shrieked, her heart shrivelling in her chest and hiding away somewhere as it tried to get away from the fear and anger that threatened to rip it apart. Rumplestiltskin's voice rang in her head, dared her to use magic, but the moment she lifted her hands Cora threw a sharp glare.  
"Do not think about it, my dear. Do you think your magic is strong enough to stand against me? Or more prominent, are you willing to risk the poor boy's life for it?"  
Roland let out a whimper, Regina clenched her hands and quickly drew them back, as if she were scorched by nothing but the venom in her mother's words.  
"That's what I thought." Cora drawled. "Now, I do not want to play games." She turned to Robin, disregarding her daughter's angry glare. "I gave you my daughter and she is mine to take back. Give her to me and you will get your son back, simple as that: Renounce every and any claim to my daughter, forfeit your savage marriage to her and let her become a _real_ queen."

A silence fell, only the sound of the waterfall crashing behind them reminding Regina that this was, in fact, happening. That she wasn't simply having a nightmare that she could snap out of. Cora pursed her lips again tightly at Robin's glaring silence. When Robin finally opened his mouth, his voice was no longer gritting, had deflated until there was a hint of begging into it.  
"Cora …"  
The sight of his boy at her mercy had broken him, the helplessness of the situation tampered his anger until the only thing that was left was the desperate father, fighting with the tortured lover. He did not really have a choice, yet he dreaded having to make it anyway. He had promised to protect her, now he couldn't even protect her against her own mother.

Cora cackled, her white teeth baring underneath her red lips; a wolf baring teeth with bloodied muzzle. She turned towards her daughter then, her eyes taking on the feint purple glow that made the little girl rise up in Regina, made her flinch and step back. "Regina dear, we both know what needs to be done, we both know what he needs to choose. Help him."

Regina straightened herself and bit her lip, forcing herself to look at Roland: tiny little Roland who ran and jumped and chattered with her as he fed the squirrels, who was the first to notice her loneliness, who had made her see the man in Robin and who hugged her so tight it made the broken pieces of her heart fit back together. He reminded her of the life that Cora had taken away and she knew that her mother would not flinch to do it again. If things had been different he could have been hers, she needed to protect him. She owed it to Robin, to Roland and even to herself, but most of all she owed it to the life ripped away before it could have formed properly.  
She would protect him like she could never protect that life, the one lost to her.

"Accept her offer, Robin." She told him, her voice shaking yet devoid of the turmoil of emotion in her soul. Her hands shook, but she forced them down so he would not see. She did not look at him, nor did she want to see the undoubtedly smug look on her mother's face, so she looked at Roland and told herself over and over again that after this he would be safe again. "I'll go with her. I'll…" She bit her lip. "I'll be fine. Just …" She gestured to Roland and almost felt Robin's tension in the air beside her. She felt rather than saw him turn beside her, she knew she was watching her, but she dared not meet his eyes.  
"I'll never myself if something happens to Roland because of me."

Her last words pulled Robin out of his stupor, the look in her eyes pulling him away from the coiling depths that his mind had been swimming in. "Daddy!" Roland shrieked and Robin jumped up at his son's voice, turning to Cora to see what she had done to him. The lines around his mouth tightened as his eyes flickered from Roland, to Regina and back to Roland. Finally he relented with a sigh, his voice pained and barely a whisper as he spoke, as he gave up.

"I accept your offer."

Cora smiled and stretched her free hand out to her daughter. "That's what I wanted to hear. Come my dear, you are free now."  
Regina hesitated, but the glimmer of the knife against Roland's neck put her into motion as she slowly walked towards her mother, immediately finding Cora's hand clamp around her arm as she was pulled away further from Robin. Cora turned to Robin with a voice that turned so sweet so fast that it made bile rise in Regina's throat: "Isn't she Robin?"  
Robin gritted his teeth and ducked his head, but he answered; "Yes, my-… Regina. I release you of your vows and declare before the gods that our marriage is forfeit." He lifted his head again to look at Regina, his eyes more defeated than Regina had ever seen them. "You are free to marry another, you are no longer bound to me."

"Excellent, well-spoken for a savage." Cora said pleased as she let Roland go. The boy immediately ran to his father and started sobbing shakily against his father's tunic. Robin quickly lifted his son and pressed a kiss on his head, mumbling soothing words in a voice that shook nearly as badly as his son did. Regina let out a strangled sob at the picture, because for a moment she had truly believed that she would be a part of that little family. Before she could say anything purple smoke rose up around them and she felt herself fading away into a cloud of magic and darkness. As she looked at Robin shouting something that couldn't pierce through Cora's magic, she realized one thing:

She would _forever_ be bound to him.

* * *

She was unmarried. She was unmarried again and had nothing to show for the fact that for over a month, she had been someone's wife and she had been loved. As she stared at herself in the large, intricate mirror she realized that she looked _exactly_ like she had before she had married and met Robin; the same sad, insecure girl that had been dragged into marriage by Cora. Her fingers found their way towards her neck by instinct, but there was no chord or ring to remind her of one lost love anymore. It was only one of the many pieces of herself she had left in the encampment that had once seemed so scary to her. She could not bear to look at the mirror any longer, instead turning and walking to the high-arched window of her tower room. The royal gardens stretched out before her for miles, flowers in any colour thinkable shining so brightly that it looked as if they were mocking the stars themselves. It was beautiful, but Regina found that the neat rows of perfectly cut flowers did not have the same charm as the Sherwood forests. She leaned over the window frame and briefly wondered if she would survive the jump down, but her heart fluttered in fear as she looked into the depths so she quickly stepped back and turned towards the door. She had already tried it and had found it hopelessly closed. She had attempted to use magic as well to blast through it, but found that the magic that had coiled in her body earlier was no longer there. Perhaps Cora had taken it from her or perhaps she simply lacked the strength to channel it anymore.

After the purple magic had cleared around her, Regina had found herself in the luxurious bedroom and she had not left it since. Cora had told her that the king was out on a meeting with the rulers of a neighbouring kingdom and would return within a few days. Afterwards she had sealed the door with magic and had left Regina to her own devices.

"My lady." A gentle voice shook Regina from her thoughts. Standing in the doorway were two maidservants, hands folded in and heads bowed down. Both were dressed in the simple yet intricate dresses typical to the fashion of the royal palace. The girls were no older than sixteen and incredibly pretty with fair skin, young eyes and long hair woven back into flowing braids. Regina could instantly tell that the girls were of high birth and nothing like the maidservants that she used to have. Cora would complain about those girls, calling them 'dim-witted' and 'peasantry'. Regina had liked them just fine.

"Your mother has requested us to bathe you." The tallest girl, a blonde with bright blue eyes, told her. She articulated her words in a way typical to one trained in the finer arts.  
Regina nodded and slowly walked towards them. In different times she would have asked the girls their names, but she simply could not find it in her heart to talk to them. Her mother had most likely picked them out for her and they would doubtlessly report back to her.  
She did not desire to speak to them in any way.

She allowed herself to be led to a large, high arched room with white tiles adorned with golden flowers. The room was mostly empty, save for an oversized bath in the middle of the room where a bath was already steaming. A flowery scent wafted from the bath and filled the room with a pleasant, if slightly stagnant, waft of sweet air. The golden flowers adorning the walls were somewhat similar to the flowers that adorned her dress and Regina wondered if it was the universe's way of mocking her. She watched with empty eyes as one of the maidservants took two fluffy towels and allowed her to feel them, as if Regina could be bothered what kind of towels she was to dry off with. Regina nodded in approval and allowed the other girl to remove the dress placidly. She took a heady breath as she remembered how she had put the dress on after a bath just that morning, she remembered how Robin had touched her and the words of love he had breathed in her ear. All gone now, so far away.  
"My lady-" The maidservants seemed slightly uncertain about how to handle Regina's placid behaviour. Regina figured they were trained and instructed to follow orders, so now lack of them unsettled the girls. She nodded and stepped towards the bath, taking in a sharp breath at the heat burning her skin. She did not remember her baths being this hot before. Her body protested against the sudden heat and her skin turned an angry red at the scorching water, but Regina did not pull back, instead settling into the water as if she were untouched by the heat. She noticed now that the water surface was adorned with the same colour of flowers that grew in the garden. It reminded her of the stream were she used to bathe with Robin, only the water was too hot and the flowers too colourful.  
"This is flower oil pressed from the king's own garden, it takes 100 flowers to gather enough oil for the contents of this bottle." The blonde said proudly, holding up a small glass bottle with a colourless fluid in it that Regina might have mistaken for water. "With the king's personal compliments." The girl said proudly as she opened the bottle and allowed Regina to smell it.

It smelled pleasantly enough, Regina figured, even though she could barely discern the smell from the already flowery scent in the air. She allowed the girls to wash her without ordering them to. The girls prattled on about the palace and the king and the king's lovely daughter and how lucky she was to become the king's wife. Regina did not listen, did not even wince when the brush felt rough against her tender reddened skin. She simply stared ahead and only gave a small smile and a nod hen one of the girls seemed to await a reaction to something she didn't hear.

"They are nice girls are they not?" Regina awakened from her stupor at the sound of Cora's voice. The water had turned cool and her servants had bid her to leave the bath some half an hour ago, but she had not replied. The girls had turned silent at her rejection and had, apparently, left, though it had escaped her notice.  
"Mother." Was Regina's only answer to the unwelcome intrusion.  
"A bit dim I would say, but pleasant enough and certainly well-mannered. I hear they are the king's nieces or something like that." Cora waved her hand in a gesture of indifference as she walked to the tub and inspected her daughter's body. Regina did not bother to cover herself up, simply keeping her gaze on her mother and willing her to go away. "It's so hard to remember who is related to who exactly in this realm, is it not?" Cora chuckled. Regina did not understand, nor did she desire to, so she closed her eyes and lowed herself beneath the water surface until the water gushed against her ears and muffled her mother's voice.  
"I've seen to procure a dress for you to meet the king, you will have a fitting early tomorrow." Cora ordered as Regina heard her footsteps moving away. The door opened with a slight _woosh_ and a louder creaking. Then the footsteps stopped and the door closed again, making Regina open her eyes in curiosity. Cora had turned around, a look on her face that Regina had rarely seen there before.

"I am so proud of you."

Regina smiled bitterly, because the little girl that lived for those words was long since gone:  
the words didn't mean anything to her any longer.

* * *

The sunrays spoke of solemnness. They were gentle upon her skin, but not as bright and golden as the rays in the Sherwood Forest. Regina laid in her bed and stared at the white ceiling that arched up high above her. The ceiling was a dark black colour meant to mimic the night sky, adorned with thousands of glittering stars. Regina found it a poor substitute for the real thing.  
She had slept badly; the bed had been too soft and the night too dark. She had been awoken too early that morning for her dress fitting by her two rather talkative maidservants. Sleep had still held her in its grasp when the white dress had been wrapped, draped and fitted around her body. Regina had been glad for it and did not once attempt to drive the soothing remainders of sleep away. The servants had gasped and shrieked and complimented every part of her they could; they had marvelled at her legs, her breasts, her hands, her hair and a dozen other things that Regina had stopped listening to. When the girls had ran out of things to compliment her for, they once again startled their praises happily about the king, the late queen and the king's lovely daughter. Regina had sighed in relief when the dress had finally been finished. It now hung draped over the mirror in her room, softly waving at the breeze that snuck through the opened window.

It was a lovely dress and Regina noticed how different it was from the first dress Cora had picked out for her: It was not nearly as extravagant and did not have a corset or a low cut in the front like the other dress had sported, instead it reminded her of the dress she had worn at her wedding to Robin: it had an air of innocence around it. Instead of a corset the dress sported a bloused bodice that was expertly fitted around her body by a skilled seamstress. From the bodice the fabric bunched down to a full skirt reminiscent of a simple ball gown. Regina knew that if she were to wear the dress with the heels Cora had selected for her, it would sweep the ground just lightly. The dress was immaculately and inappropriately white. Even the expensive-looking necklace and earrings that hung waiting for her where of crystal so white that it was hard to discern of you did not know what to look for. Regina sighed heavily at the sight of the wedding dress. She had not even met the king yet, but Cora had already prepared the dress for the occasion that Regina dreaded more than anything. Regina turned to face the dress, it mocked her with its whiteness; a testament to the virginity that had been lost to her for years already. She wondered if the king cared and shuddered at the thought what could lead to him noticing her lies.

A knock on her door startled her. The king was not to arrive for another day at least and she was hardly dressed to meet him. She had put on her sleeping gown again after the fitting and had crawled back into the bed miserably. She did not answer, just stared at the door that would open for anyone but her. A nod sounded again and before she could give an answer, the door opened of its own accord. Regina grunted in annoyance, because what was the point of knocking when you're going to walk in anyway really?  
Standing in the doorway and now padding into her room without the slightest hesitation or caution was a girl, aged no older than twelve, with ebony hair like her own and hazel-green eyes. Her skin was so white and fair that Regina wondered if it had ever felt the caress of sunrays at all. The girl cocked her head when she spotted her, the pink sapphire in the choker she wore around her neck glistening as it caught the light streaming through the window. Regina realized with one glance at the gemstone that this girl was royalty, high royalty. It was customary for children of high royal birth to wear sapphires at all times: blue for a boy and pink for a girl. When the child would take the throne, the gemstone would be embedded in the crown next to those of their ancestors, making it grow heavier and more extravagant with everybody that had worn it. Regina figured that the girl that walked into her room like the owned the palace, was more or less entitled to walk it's halls in that fashion and would one day inherit the castle from her father. She quickly stood up from the bed and gave a curtsy to greet the young girl. She was to be this child's stepmother, but for now she was just an intruder in the castle and she was not one to forget her courtesies. The girl did not acknowledge nor answer to her greeting, instead turning towards the dress that hung draped over the mirror and gasping at the sight of it.  
"It's beautiful!" She shrieked, running rather than walking towards it and tracing her hands over the white fabric that Regina knew weighed heavier than it looked. The girl stared white eyed at the jewels and let out a gasp at every gem she found shining in the sunlight. "Wow." The girl said in awe as she flashed a bright smile towards Regina. "You will make a beautiful bride!"  
The words hit Regina all over again with the realization of what already seemed to have been decided forcing itself upon her one again. She forced herself to smile, but she felt like crying and screaming like a child inside. "I suppose I will." She answered on a flat voice, her voice once again trailing up to find the ring around her neck and coming up empty. The girl's smile faded and instead a frown formed on her face.  
"Why are you sad?" The girl's voice would have sounded concerned, if the question had not been laced with such an overwhelming disbelief over the emotion that encompassed Regina's heart. Regina wanted to both laugh and cry, to tell the girl that _why wouldn't she be sad?_ Yet the girl had done her no harm and did not deserve her rage. So instead she thought back to a day where she had felt much the same at Robin's camp: miserable, alone and missing a lover lost to her. She thought of Roland, who knew the answer to the question that this girl could not even comprehend asking. She allowed herself a small smile, because no matter what: Roland was, and would always be, safe.  
"Because I'm lonely." She answered finally, earning a deeper frown from the girl. Then the girl's face lit up and she ran to the bed, jumping on it and swinging her feet happily over the ground as if they were about to have a sleepover.

"I'm Snow!" She declared happily with not a small amount of pride in her voice. Regina smiled and sat down on the bed next to the girl at Snow's insistent gesturing for her to.  
"I'm Regina." She answered flatly, trying to sound as gentle as she could muster.  
"You don't have to be lonely, you know?" Snow said. "I'm here, and the servants and the people at court and the knights and …" She took Regina's hand and squeezed it in what was perhaps meant to be a sign of comfort. "you are to marry my _father_!"  
Regina forced a small smile at the girl's twinkling eyes. She wondered how the girl managed to be so naïve and optimistic after having lost her mother in what she had been told was a dreadful, sweeping illness that had crippled the king for near a year. Perhaps the girl was happy about having a mother again, but Regina did not like feeling like a replacement for both a mother and a wife.  
"You don't ever have to feel lonely again, my father will take care of that." Snow gave her a dazzling smile. Regina shook her head and took both of Snow's hands in hers.  
"Snow." She sighed. "It doesn't work like that. It's not … that kind of loneliness."  
Snow frowned and Regina answered by squeezing her lithe hands in her own. As she studied Snow's face she was reminded of how much like Snow she had once been. The girl was only five years her junior, yet it felt as if there was a world of difference between them; one having been tossed in the world and told to survive, the other sheltered from it until it had cracked the safety of the palace walls. She wondered if Snow had felt loneliness, she hoped Snow had experienced her parents' love.

"You know how there are some people that you want to be with so much, that if you're away from them you just feel lonely." She thought of Daniel, who had been the first to break through the everlasting bubble of loneliness, thought of the void that he had left behind with his leave; a void that only Robin had managed to fill. "And no matter how many people are around you, without them it just doesn't … -without them you just feel lonely."

"Sine qua non." Snow whispered on a soft breath and Regina gave a small surprised smile at the words. She knew that children of royalty were taught in ancient languages, but she had not expected Snow to be quite bright or clever. Perhaps she had been bring.  
"Without which not." Regina translated softly. She herself had been taught in the language during many tiresome and bore some classes and remembered most of her courses well.  
"It's on my mother's tombstone." Snow's voice was nearly a whisper and even though she gave a shrug, Regina could hear the tremble in her voice. "That's what it means, isn't it?"  
Regina felt what was left of her heart breaking all over again at the saddened look on Snow's face. She did not particularly care for the girl, but she understood full well what it was like to lose someone you cared about. Regina had never experienced the motherly love that Snow probably had, but she could feel the pain of losing it nonetheless. Snow bit her lip.  
"Do you think my father feels that? That … loneliness? About my mother?".

Regina immediately regretted the words she had spoken in her grief over losing yet another love. She wanted to comfort the girl, but she could not find it in her heart to lie or speak empty words of comfort because she truly did not know. Instead she took the girls hand and lead it to point to the ceiling, to the fake night sky that proudly shone there, even in the middle of the day.  
"My …- a wise man once told me that when we die, we can choose to become the stars. In a way they are always with us and they watch out for us. Maybe your father does, maybe he doesn't. Do you?"  
Snow sighed and laid her head against Regina's shoulder as she looked at the fake night sky. Regina wondered if she had ever been shown the rea lone. "I don't know." Snow said honestly. "I miss her, that's a kind of loneliness, isn't it?"  
"It is." Regina agreed. "I think it's where loneliness comes from."

"Do you have a star up there?"  
"I do. Well, in the _real_ sky, not on the ceiling." The words earned her a small chuckle from Snow.  
"Is he your _Sine qua non?"_  
Regina was silent for a long while. She thought of Daniel. Once she had planned a life with him and had not seen one without him. She had missed him and mourned him and felt the loneliness of losing him in her heart. Yet it was now her heart was content with seeing his face in the stars and was screaming for another man. She shook her head and Snow gasped lightly in surprise.  
"He's not. He's not a star yet."  
"Then you should go to him! You don't have to be lonely!" Snow told her excitedly, jumping up from the bed and repeating the same words she had spoken before. Regina smiled at the excitement, but shook her head. "I can't go to him."  
"But – he's your Sine qua non. Your true love. You're meant to be with him!"  
"It's not that simple." Regina sighed as she took Snow's hands and pulled the girl in front of her so they could talk face-to-face. "I can't go back to him, no matter how much I want to. But I will marry your father, Snow. And – I will be … happy."  
I was not the truth but she had broken the young girl's heart enough for one day.

"But you will be lonely?" Snow's voice was soft, an understanding and concern in there that Regina had not come to expect behind the palace walls. Regina sighed and stroked the girl's curly, ebony hair back.  
"Yes. I will be. I will always be a little bit lonely."

"Because you'll always miss him a little bit?"  
"Because I'll always miss him a little bit."

* * *

**I am still crippled and in deep denial about Roslin and Adama and they somehow found their way into this story. Apologies for the lack of Robin/Regina interaction, but I hope you like the Snow/Regina relationship I' ve set up here. I just found out that this story is in the top 20 of most-reviewed OQ fanfictions. That is crazy! You guys are seriously awesome, THANK YOU for reading =)**


	19. Chapter 19

The king arrived at the brink of dawn the next day, causing the two servants to hastily usher Regina from her bath to get her ready for the king. They washed her and brushed her hair until it shone and curled around her shoulders in waves of shining ebony. She was given a dress selected by her mother and the maids did not even think to ask for permission as they hurried to cloak her still damp body in the lithe blue fabric. Regina suspected that Cora was responsible for the girl's forgetting their courtesies. She could not blame them.  
"Permit me to say you look beautiful, my lady." The breathy words of one of the maids signalled Regina that she was dressed according to the king's –her mother's- wishes. She was not particularly interested in whatever dresses the king did and did not like, but she was still a girl and if there was a mirror in right front of her, she would look. She did indeed look beautiful in a baby blue dress with a simple bodice, adorned only with nonsensical figures in silver threat, and a loose skirt of gleaming blue fabric. She swallowed heavily as two white hands draped a silver chain around her neck. The maids marvelled at the beauty of the small but expertly cut gemstone around her neck. Little did they know something else belonged there.  
"He's waiting for you!" Said the younger of the two maids excitedly, her long chestnut braid falling over her shoulder while her eyes, near the same color, twinkled in excitement.  
"Oh I hope he will marry you soon." The older blonde girl eyed her dress dreamily. "The wedding will be beautiful." She sighed wistfully. Regina wanted to tell them that she would give anything to trade place with the girl, but she bit her tongue and kept quiet like always.  
"Let's go then." She whispered instead, but the girl had not headed her, had already started to pull her outside the door and towards her newest prison.

* * *

Cora's impression of the king had been a rather good one; skin-deep there was no difference to discern between the real king and Cora's impression of him. Yet there was a difference that would have been visible to anyone who knew him; while the king carried himself with a royal grace, he lacked the air of entitlement that Cora's version of him had had. His shoulders sagged just a bit more and, somehow, he looked older than he ever had looked to Regina. His hands were folded in front of his blood red tunic embroidered and adorned with golden thread. He smiled at her, but there was something in his eyes that had lacked completely in Cora's impression of him: there was a sadness there, a grief carved into the eyes that Cora had not understood, had not been able to recreate. Regina filed it away somewhere in the back of her mind right next to the twinkle in Robin's eyes when he spoke of his son; she would know it if Cora would try to disguise herself as him, she vowed.  
The king gave a bow, to which she replied with a curtsy as she took in her mother smiling pleased behind her. She nearly fell down halfway through her curtsy when she noticed her father shuffling into the room. She had not seen him since she had departed to marry Robin. He was a welcome sight, but she knew he was not going to help her. He never had.

The king took her hand and pressed a kiss to it, his dry lips touching her skin in a whisper, yet feeling like too much of a touch already. She had been so in awe of him once, would have giggled manically like her maids at the occasion of having her hand kissed by him. Now she saw what he was: a lonely, bitter and sad old man.  
"Regina." The king was soft spoken. "It is my honor to finally meet you."  
Regina had to fight to keep herself from frowning, her mouth twisting up in a wry smile instead. The king's words made little sense to her and she wondered how much Cora had the king about her. She wondered how many of it had been the truth. She felt a sharp tug as if someone was pulling her hair back, but there was no one behind her. When she turned around she was met with Cora's furious gaze. She quickly remembered her courtesies, yet spoke the words with a bitterness that she hoped the king could hear. "The honor is mine."  
The king gave a smile, either not hearing or choosing not to hear the bite in her voice. Instead the turned towards Cora, who immediately gave a bow of her head and a smile that was somewhat sly. "When word reached me from your mother begging me to get you back, I knew I had to act immediately. I do admit that I do not like waging a war while I am out of the country, but your mother seemed adamant that you were in danger." He smiled at her as if he had done her a great service taking her away from the Sherwood Forest. "You are lucky to have a mother who looks out for you, Regina."  
Regina had to fight to keep a small smile, but she managed. Yet she did not answer and she did not thank him. She simply would not do it, so instead she flicked a gaze to her father and clenched her jaw as he just stared, abhorred but useless as ever.  
"My daughter Snow has many things, but a mother is not one of them." The king mused on, apparently missing the exchange between Regina and her father. "We lost her years ago."  
Regina remembered. Cora had been ecstatic. "I'm sorry." She said and for the first time since the king had entered, she was sincere, because she had lost love and knew the pain full well.  
"Since then I have scoured the land looking for a wife. I've yet to find a woman with an interest in my daughter." Regina remembered Snow: Kind, naïve and gentle Snow who had lost yet still dared to hope and smile and dance. She envied the girl, even if she was foolish. "Until now." The king gave a soft smile as he made a gesture to someone behind him.  
"Snow speaks lovingly of you. She has not about any other woman I have considered for my wife. Who I am to argue with my daughter?" he gives a smile and reached behind him, his hand straddling a plush velvet red cushion before reaching a large golden ring adorned with a jewel broader than her slim fingers. Dread, fear and anger all fought for dominance in her heart when the king dropped to one knee before her. "Will you marry me, Regina?"

She remembered Robin's proposal. Remembered how it had been barely a breath, a whisper to be shared only between them, that meant nothing to anyone but them. She had told him yes and kissed him and held him and she had _loved_ him with all of her heart. She could not get a single word out to answer the king, a sob already threatening to spill out and break the façade she desperately tried to hold up. She wanted to scream that she was already married, wanted to tell him about Cora's betrayal, wanted to run away and declare that she had love for another, that she was happily wed to another and would never love him. Such was the truth, but Cora would harm them for telling it; would harm sweet little Roland with his toothy smile and plucky curls, would harm loyal and fierce Robin with his teasing smile and caring eyes. So she stayed silent and waited for fate to catch up with her.

"Yes." Cora answered for her and it was all that was needed. The men of court exploded in applause around her, shouting and cheering and not even a minute later the bells would be ringing for a new queen. Regina watched with empty eyes as the king slid the heavy ring –too big for her slim finger- on her hand and there was one thought in Regina's mind, one horrible thought that she knew was unfair, but she had earned the right to be angry and unfair and evil. She had earned it to think that;  
_If only she hadn't been so kind to Snow._

* * *

Anger quickly ebbed away and without a real object to project it on, it disappeared like water running through her fingers; untouchable and unretrievable. She was seated in her room, had painstakingly dragged a heavy chair in front of the window and was now looking out towards the night sky. Stars twinkled bright there and she remembered, tears streaming down her face as her voice reached out into the empty night sky.  
"Daniel." She breathed and her hands folded themselves where his ring should be.  
"It happened again." It was all she could say, because here she sat again, waiting to marry a man that meant nothing to her after she had lost one that had. She heard the music boom beneath her in the ballroom, heard excited laughs of men and women who were celebrating the engagement of the king to his new queen. A star fell down. Another soul just reached the heavens. She bid it goodbye silently. Some people wished upon a falling star and without thinking she folded her hands, closed her eyes and wished.

_'__I wish … '_

She did not even know what she was wishing for.  
_'Please help me_' she wished. '_Please, please, please just help me._'

She thought of Robin.

_'__Please let him be happy. I wish that he might be happy for the rest of his days. He and Roland.'_

When she opened her eyes the star was gone, somewhere the ashes had fallen down to earth and the soul had been freed from his earthy bounds. She smiled and brushed the tears away from her eyes. She congratulated him, for he had had the strength to choose to heavens instead of a lifetime trapped in the skies gazing at loved ones, like a ghost. She wouldn't have that strength and she hated herself for it.

"That's a lot of wishes." A soft voice sounded behind her, a sad voice. She expected Snow to be there, but then realized that she had not spoken her wishes out loud. They were hers, they were forbidden. She turned around and came face-to-face with a girl that looked about her age. The girl's saddened eyes were an odd match with her cheerfully green dress that glowed without any source of light. She cocked her head, wings disappearing into her back until she looked to be a human, if it were not for the green glow that shone around her with every breath she took. "But it's not what you really want, is it?" The fairy walked towards her. She smelled of magic, but different; lighter somehow; both less dark and less heavy. She walked to Regina's bed with silent footsteps and sat down upon it without permission. Regina turned away from the faerie and stared out into the night sky.  
"What do I want then?" she bit at the fairy. She had been told what she wanted her entire life and nobody had ever guessed correctly. Robin and Daniel had been the only ones to even come close. Robin, she closed her eyes and sighed, shook her head.  
"What anyone wants; freedom, happiness, true love." The fairy answered, walking towards her and putting an arm on Regina's. Regina flinched back at the touch. She did not want a friend, she just wanted someone to help her and if this fairy wasn't going to, then she might as well leave. She did not deign to look at the fairy, instead staring into the night sky. She wondered where Daniel was. Daniel; he had been freedom, happiness and true love all together and she had lost him. She gave a bitter chuckle, but as she spoke her voice was flat.  
"Well yeah, these things are lost to me forever." She sighed and shook her head. "No use wishing for them." She turned away from the fairy and caught the fairy's face when she turned: her mouth was still turned in a hopeful smile, but she saw the sadness that her words had inflicted upon her in her eyes. The fairy swallowed and forced herself back into her cheerful, hopeful demeanor.  
"I can find your true love, Regina!" Regina shot a look at the fairy. She had never given the fairy her name, but she figured that everyone in the kingdom would know it by now. The thought made her heart crumble.  
"I had true love and he's dead." Regina sighs. She glances out of the window and can just see the faint glimmering of magic in the moonlight. The fairy's face falls, but then she looks up again and gives a hopeful smile.  
"What about the man you were wishing to be happy? You love him, don't you?"

Regina was silent for a while, before she finally nodded and breathed out a soft answer.  
"I do…. But … I can't ever see him again."

The fairy frowned. "Why not?"  
Regina scoffed in answer and gestures to the faint magic that hangs around the palace. It was impossible to see if you didn't know it was there, but it was an unnatural shimmer in the moonlight, a glimmer that should not be there.  
"Because of that. My mother's magic is keeping me here. I can't leave." She had not tried to leave, but she had encountered the magic before when she was but a child and how it had hurt. "So unless you can take …" she gestured in the direction of the magic. "_that_ away …" She did not finish her sentence and bit her lip. It was hopeless and she knew it.  
The fairy confirmed her suspicions; her face fell and she shook her head. "I can't. It's dark magic, it's more powerful than fairy magic." She sounded almost ashamed and Regina figured she should be. Fairies were told to be powerful, magical creatures in the stories of ancient, now they could barely use magic themselves anymore.  
"But …" The fairy yelped, her face lighting up as she turned to Regina. "True love can!"  
Regina scoffed. "What?" She sat down on the bed and wished the fairy would leave. Perhaps sleep would be kind to her and she would dream of Daniel or Robin or Roland or the few moments of happiness in her youth; of Rocinante or maybe even of River. The fairy appeared before her eyes and took away all hope of that. She was smiling, but Regina could not find it in herself to smile back.  
"True love! I cannot break the spell, but I can alter it so that you can leave the palace with your true love!" The fairy had squatted down to face her and was now excitedly bouncing on the balls of her feet.  
"My true love is dead." Regina snapped. She knew she was being unkind to the fairy, but it hurt having to tell the fairy over and over again. "My mother killed him years ago. I prayed for you to help me then and you didn't come." Her tone carried a bitterness that Regina had not known was housed inside her, but it was released and she could not hold it back anymore. The fairy flinched back, but took Regina's hands in her own and there was a desperation in her eyes. Regina knew that desperation, it had made place for bitterness and disappointment in her own.  
"But the man you were praying for, you love him, don't you!" The fairy was almost begging and Regina would have laughed if it hadn't hurt so much. Instead she scoffed and tried to push away the memories of Robin; she had been happy and she had loved him, but him being her true love …  
"Our marriage was an arranged one, what are the odds of me being married off to my true love. 'The person I'm destined to be with'." She scoffed. She had read books of an ancient philosopher who deduced that humans were born with only half a soul and that every human spent his life looking for the bearer of the other half, their 'soul mate'. The chances of ever meeting that person, Regina figured, were astronomically small. The chances of her being married off to one even smaller. The idea was nothing but laughable, so she laughed softly and bitterly. "I wonder what my mother would say about that."  
The fairy frowned in confusion and crossed her arms in front of her lithe body, the sparkles on her green dress shimmering in the moonlight. "The person you're destined to be with?" she asked doubtfully.  
Regina nodded in answer and suddenly the fairy's face brightened in understanding. She laughed, a magical sound. She took Regina by the shoulders as she shook her head, smiling brightly.  
"That's now how true love works, Regina. True love … it's not determined by fate, but by ourselves. Our true loves are the persons we choose to love." She gaze a dazzling smile and Regina gasped softly at the fairy's words. She thought of Robin, wondered if their love could be real, could be true love, in spite of the odd beginnings, because she was still a city girl and he was a forest dweller twice her age. "What about soul mates?" She asked and the fairy shrugged.  
"It's true, they exist. But I've found that it matters not so much who we share our soul with as who we choose to share our souls with. That's true love." The fairy trailed her hands from Regina's shoulders to her hands and wrapped slim fingers around hers, clenching hard in excitement.  
"You can have that, Regina. You can have that and it will bring you freedom and happiness." She gave a bright smile. "Let me help you get it, Regina. Will you let me help you?"

Regina stared in the fairy's eyes, bright green swirling with speckles of magic and hope. She had never wanted a friend, but as the fairy stood gripping her tightly, determined to help her, Regina thought it was the closest to one she had ever been. She smiled timidly and nodded, anxious but excited. "Okay."

The fairy fluttered her wings excitedly and Regina felt her heart beating nervously against her chest. Robin and Roland were safe, crossing Cora would possibly put them in danger. It was selfish, a voice in the back of her head told her, but her heart screamed both fearfully of marrying the king and longingly for Robin's touch on her bared skin, for Roland's dimpled smile, for young good-natured Mhairi and perfectly-named River. She even longed for the Sherwood forest, with its light nights and hundred-and-one dangers. She wanted all of it back, so she dared to wish, so be selfless for once.  
The fairy seemed to pick up on her anxiety and gripped her hands even tighter, until it hurt. "It will be alright." She promised and Regina let out a soft breath as she allowed herself to believe it. "So who is he?"  
Regina smiled and stared out of the window as she remembered him. "His name is Robin, he's the lord of the Sherwood forest. Light brown hair, blue eyes." She closed her eyes and told the fairy everything she could remember about him; from how he was over a head taller than her to the dimples on his face when he laughed. "And he's got a lion tattoo on his wrist." She finished, earning a grin from the fairy.  
"Got it, well I know what I have to do. I'm going to find the man with the lion tattoo."

The fairy walked to her window and in an instant was no bigger than the size of a small dove. Suspended in the cool air with wings fluttering rapidly Regina understood why the men of old believed the fairies were truly stars. The fairy gave her a flashing smile and moved to fly away, but Regina halted her.  
"Wait." She said and gave a small smile to the fairy. "What's your name?"  
The fairy gave another brilliant smile. "Tinker Bell" She answered proudly. The fairy fluttered her wings, which produced a high tinkling sound, as if to prove it and smiled brightly before disappearing. Regina could swear she saw a slightly green star appear in the night sky. She smiled wistfully at it, wishing she could just fly out of the window like the fairy and be done with it.

She wondered if the fairy would indeed be able to help her.

* * *

The mares hooves pounded against the ground with great force, yet her slim hooves made little sound as they made contact with the earth beneath. Robin held the reins tight in his hands, clenching just a bit too tightly with both his hands and legs for fear of falling off the animal. The mare was a gentle soul and luckily did not seem to mind his light bouncing up and down on her back or the way is legs clamped around her in an effort not to fall off. He was not a rider and already felt that his muscles would suffer for him pretending to be one, but still he rode. He rode to the faintly green shine on his wrist, brightly burning like it had never before, he spurred his horse and the animal complied. The fairy had come to him earlier that day, telling him that Regina was to marry the king in less than a week and she could not escape without him. He had not questioned why, had not questioned who she was or why she was telling him about Regina, he had asked one thing:  
"How do I find her?"

The fairy had told him about a spell that would make an object glow brighter when he would near her. She had asked for some piece of jewelry to enchant at first, but the only pieces that he could think of were the two wedding rings that were still safely hidden in his bedside table. He shook his head, not willing to use the remnants of past loves to find his new one. It didn't feel right to him. The fairy had muttered in exasperation as he had sought frantically for something else that she could enchant, until she had gripped his arm and thrown a handful of fairy dust at it. It had stung and afterwards his tattoo had taken on a light green glow. 'At least that way you won't lose it.' The fairy had said and then she had tapped it. "It will glow brighter the closer you get to her. Now go get her."  
Robin had not hesitated, had just thanked her and had not even considered his lack of riding skills when he had saddled and mounted Regina's mare. He had simply set out to follow the glow of the tattoo, one thought in his mind: he would not let Regina marry the king.

* * *

***Hums Bonnie Tyler's "Hero"***


	20. Chapter 20

It was a somber morning when Regina woke first; a light but persistent drizzle falling down on the imposing royal castle. She was not sure what had awoken her. Aside from the shouting outside from the early watchmen, who bellowed and barked at whatever commoner dared coming too close, there was little that Regina thought could have woken her. She was pleasantly surprised to find that nobody desired her presence yet and turned around in her bed, facing away from the window where bleak light was already streaming though. Light had no longer been a real problem in getting to sleep in the Sherwood Forest, but that had been the golden glow of sunshine painted by golden treetops. The bleary, grey light of the enchanted forest still was as much a problem in getting to sleep as it ever had been. Still, the previous days had been tiring, both physically and emotionally, and her body clung at the chance of getting some well-deserved rest. She doubted she'd sleep very well once she married the king and he'd actually share her bed. She reminded the words Cora had told her before she'd married Robin and feared that they'd be relevant now more than ever: she knew a male heir was desired with the high royalty and even the king did not so much as desire her, he would probably try to sire an heir with her. The thought made her sick, bile rising up in her throat so heavily that she had to close her eyes and force down deep breaths. She forced herself to think of Robin, took her pillow and wrapped her arms around it as she would around him. She forced the thoughts away and listened to the patter of the rain, pretended it sounded something like the rain on tent canvas. Eventually she lulled herself to sleep with lies of the Sherwood Forest.

When she woke the second time the rain was no longer drizzling down, a watery sun having taken up residence in the sky. There was still no reason present for Regina to have awakened and her body hummed contently at a good night's sleep. She knew the castle would be buzzing with excitement over the royal wedding; lords and ladies would start to arrive at court in a short while and accommodations for all had to have been prepared. Regina would also be expected to greet the royals and her mother would gut her if she hadn't been dressed by then. She swung her legs from the bed and noticed that her maidservants had laid out some three outfits for her to wear. She picked out a deep green dress that wrapped around her body without any visible assistance. It was adorned with golden threading made to look like leaves. She picked it because it reminded her of Robin. She wore it with open, flat shoes in the same shade of green, not comfortable with walking down the myriad of stairs in the castle wearing heels.

When she arrived in the dinner room King Leopold and his daughter were already sitting and breaking fast. Snow nearly went obscured by a cake stand adorned with more sweet cakes than the girl would eat in a week, still according to the pile on the girl's plate, she was determined to make an effort. As Regina walked towards the king slowly she saw that her choices would not be limited to cakes: next to the cake stand was a long, squared plate with golden baked sweet buns that shone like gems. In the center of the table stood an engraved glass bowl with over two dozen peeled and cut apple parts. The idea that over half of what was on the table would end up with the pigs while people were starving in the realm was absurd, yet it was a stark truth. Regina wondered if her mother had lived with that reality.

"Ah Regina, I trust you have slept well?" The king greeted her in his customary soft voice while Snow waved awkwardly at her, mouth full of sweet cake. Regina forced a small smile and nodded in answer. She sat down on the chair the king motioned to, the one by his right side and opposite from Snow. Her mother was not breaking fast with the king and Snow. It was at least a small relief to Regina.

She stared doubtfully at the assembly of sweet foods laid out before her on the table. It posed a world of difference from the heavy, nutty and dark breads that she had eaten in Robin's camp; all sweet and full of air. The buns themselves were the sweetened breads that the royals often ate. Regina had never been able to stomach them: she liked her breads topped with sweets, but sweetened dough made her sick. She did not tell the king this, however, and chose a sweet chocolate cake and five apple parts. It was hardly what she considered breakfast food, it would have to do. She washed it down with sweetened tea that reminded her of the tea her father used to make.  
"Did you sleep well, sir?" She asked more by force of obligation than by real interest. Yet the king gave a pleased smile at her interest and nodded as he folded his hands.  
"I did."  
"Did you wake this morning?" Snow asked, swallowing a large bite of cake down, chocolate crumbs still clinging to her teeth as she spoke. Regina frowned. She did, but she wondered why Snow would know that. Just when she opened her mouth to ask she noticed the king shoot a stern look to his daughter, before smiling apologetically at her.  
"Apologies, my dear Snow needs a mother to tutor her in manners, as I'm sure you'll do just wonderfully.  
Regina managed not to flinch too visibly at the king's words, but still felt her face contort in an expression that was far from the proper reaction, or at least what her mother considered to be proper. The king did not seem to notice her trepidation, too busy speaking to his daughter on hushed tones until Snow nodded softly and not-quite-whispered an agreement. Regina did not catch what, but she frowned in confusion. Before she could ask what Snow had meant by the question, however, the king turned towards her again, bright smile all anew on his face.

"I have a surprise for you, Regina." His voice was still soft, but louder somehow with the faked enthusiasm and happiness royals use to address their subjects. Regina gritted her teeth at his patronizing tone, but simply forced herself to smile thankfully in advance. The king leaned forward on the table, his daughter mirroring his move in either curiosity or excitement. The girl seemed to be in both states permanently, so it was hard to tell which exactly. Regina had to stop herself from backing away as father and daughter leant towards her in a way that made her slightly uncomfortable.  
"Your mother told me you like riding horses?" The king's tone was neither a statement nor a question and Regina figured he wasn't particularly interested. Still, he made an effort and she rewarded it with a nod and a smile.  
"Yes, my lord. I used to ride a lot back home." She thought of Daniel, could still smell the faint smell of straw as they had laid in it like they were some horrible story-cliché. She smiled at the memory. Daniel had left a lot of cuts on her heart, but after cuts turned into scars and the hurt had become bearable, she could enjoy the memories of him, even if they were bitter.

"My dear Snow mistrusts horses, but she will have to learn to ride them yet." The king laid an affectionate hand on the girl's shoulder, who only smiled goofily at Regina. "My mother told me of a horse you kept at home."  
"Rocinatne." Regina answered without a breath. The animal had been a gift by her father and she had never loved an animal more dearly. Rocinatne had been her friend; she had not been scared of Cora and, more importantly, could not be used, prodded for information or manipulated. Rocinatne did not tell secrets, not even the ones about her and Daniel.  
She smiled as she remembered the slender foxy mare with the trusting brown eyes. She wondered what Cora had done with the animal after her leave. Cora had never cared for the animal and Rocinatne did not appreciate Cora any more. The mare was a sweet animal, but she had never particularly taken to Cora and would not allow the woman anywhere near her. Cora had often threatened to send the animal away, especially when the mare started to grow older and less quick on her feet, but Regina and Henry would not have it. It was perhaps the only thing her father had ever put his foot down about, but Regina was infinitely thankful. "She was a good horse."  
"I hope so." The king said with a smile still plastered on his face. "Because I had the stable hands bring it. It believe it's in our stables right now."  
Regina gasped and for a moment sat in stunned silence. Rocinatne, her childhood mare, was one friend she had already given up on ever getting back again. She stared at the king as a thousand feelings bubbled up inside her. She was overjoyed at seeing her horse, her childhood best friend, again. Yet there was something that was nagging her, because Rocinatne had always meant freedom, but she wouldn't bring her any of it in the palace. On top of that; there was no doubt in Regina's mind why Leopold had the horse brought over; he expected Snow to be taught to ride on the animal and Regina's heart protested at the idea of her horse being used as a carousel pony for riding lessons.  
Yet after all the doubts had crossed her heart, there was a happiness that she had not felt since she had set foot in the palace and had lost everything she knew. She felt her face crack into her smile despite her reservations and her heart beat frantically against her chest. She needed to see the horse, needed to feel that perhaps there was still something good for her in the world. Perhaps some things were not lost forever. So she stood up from the table and asked the king for permission to leave, with he did, and left quickly for the stables. She did not notice the king's heavy eyes as she left. Did not hear his sigh and soft muttering.

* * *

She did not change her clothing and barely had the clarity of mind to change her shoes into something more stable suited. Regina figured she must look quite the figure in her dress and stable boots, but she could not get herself to care. There was hardly anyone outside yet to see her and the few stable hands that were present would probably not even recognize her as their new queen. Cora would doubtlessly gut her for going outside in the strange array of clothing, but Cora was not there. She just needed to see Rocinatne, to see if she was happy and wrap her arms around the horse's neck life she had done so often as a child. She smiled when she saw the red-brown hair of Rocinatne appear when she entered the stable building, but when she walked closer and saw the horse for the first time since her leave, her heart crumbled.

Rocinatne was the same reddish brown Regina remembered, had the same beautiful trusting eyes and the slightly stocky build, yet she seemed to be a completely different horse. The mare was walking restlessly in circles through the stable, her hooves kicking against the sides more often than not. Regina saw the beautiful soft coat matted and damp by sweat and heard the horse's labored breathing. She knew what was happening, because she had seen it before when the mare had just been a young filly, but the stable hands seemed unsure what to do about the behavior of the horse. They only yelled at her to stop and kicked the door, which made Rocinatne jump back but did not make her cease her weaving. Regina quickly stalked to the stable and had to fight to keep herself from yelling at the stable boy.  
"She doesn't like stables, she needs to be outside, that's why she's behaving like this." Regina managed to keep her voice quiet, but felt the strain in her words. It had been a long time since Rocinatne had been cooped up in a stable and Regina did not want to know how long her beloved horse had been forced to endure this. The stable hand stopped snapping at her horse, but also did not move to open the stable and free the distraught animal.  
"Let her out. Put her in the paddock." Regina snapped at him and a man walked towards her. He was older than the stable boys, in his near thirties, and his clothing looked far more expensive than the brown cloth of the stable hands. Regina figured he was in charge and he behaved as such when he spoke to her:  
"Miss, the mares are not permitted in the paddock during the day, they will distract the rider's stallions." His tone was brusque and slightly patronizing, but not particularly hostile. He took a sideway glance to Rocinatne, who was still too busy turning in her stable to notice her former owner.  
"What's with this one?"  
"She's still nervous about the events this morning." Explained a stable boy with brown curly hair, shrugging his shoulders. He spoke with an commoner's accent and looked the part. Regina wondered how he had ended up in the royal stables. "The others have calmed down, she will too."

Regina's nostrils flared up at the words. She did not know what had happened that morning, but she knew Rocinatne better than anyone else and for the stable hand to simply ignore her advice was infuriating. "She's nervous because she doesn't cope well with being in a stable. She never has. She won't calm down until you give her some space. So get her out of that stable and into the paddock before she hurts herself."  
A stable hand moved to open the door and free Rocinatne from her torment, but was stopped by his superior. A deep frown had formed on the man's face and Regina could how he was clenching his jaw in annoyance. She ignored it and huffed as she took a leather halter, which seemed to infuriate the man further. "Who might you be to come into my stable and boss around my boys?" He huffed. "Besides, what would a royal ass like you know about taking care of horses?" He laughed and motioned for his boys to join in, but only a few chuckled while the others kept eying Rocinatne nervously.

Regina fumed and clenched her fists tightly. "I have owned and taken care of this horse since I was a child and to answer your first question." She raised her shoulders and forced herself to believe the words that rang hollow in her ears. "I am to be your queen." She narrowed her eyes and watched the man in front of her startle back at her words. The curly haired commoner's boy quickly moved to open the stable door and Regina saw her mare calm immediately as space opened up for her, though she was eager to get out.  
"Apologies, your majesty." The brusque man bowed his reddened head as he mumbled the apology. Regina knew he did not respect her any more than he had before, but her title had bought her authority and for now it was all she cared about. Regina did not give an answer to his apologies and instead walked to Rocinante's stable, where the young boy was still struggling to calm the mare down enough to lead her out of the stable. Regina quickly took the halter from his hands and talked softly to the mare, who soon calmed as soon as she noticed her beloved owner.

"Hey girl." Regina whispered, tears pricking in her eyes both in happiness at seeing her horse again and in sadness at seeing her favorite horse so distraught. "It's all right girl, we're going to get you out of here." She swallowed heavily and put her hand on Rocinante's neck. When the mare allowed the gentle touch she sighed and wrapped her hands around the horse's warm, strong body like she used to when she was a child. "I missed you so much." She whispered against the horse's neck and the mare replied with a soft snort. She gently pulled the halter over the horse's ears and looked into the horse's brown eyes, now more the way she remembered them to be.

"Apologies, we didn't know, my lad- your majesty." The boy stumbled and eyed Rocinante with a look of mourning. Regina could tell he had a heart for horses, but little experience with keeping them in stables, which was a practice mostly entertained by royals. "She came in this morning and since the other horses were stressed because of the events this morning, we didn't think about it a lot." He looked ashamed of himself and Regina could muster an honest smile at him. Now that she was no longer annoyed at his blatant ignorance about her horse, she could tell he was just a young boy trying his best. It reminded her of when Daniel had beaten himself up endlessly over saddling her horse incorrectly, causing her to fall off. She had forgiven him quickly, but Daniel had never really forgiven himself and had been determined to make up for it afterwards. Their relationship had eventually bloomed from his perseverance. She smiled at the memory and buried her head into Rocinante's neck for a second, breathing in the familiar scent.  
"It's okay. Just make sure you don't put her in a stable again." She told the boy gently. Then she remembered what the boy had told her and furrowed her brow. "What happened this morning?" She had noticed that something had been going on the moment she sat down at diner with Snow and her father. She hadn't been able to lay the finger on it at that time, but now she remembered and noticed it: the king was hiding something from her.

The stable boy shrugged. "I don't know the whole story. Some idiot tried to break into the palace, it did not end well. Word is they're keeping him in the dungeons." He patted Rocinante on the neck and gave Regina a look of question, asking permission to lead the horse away. Regina gave it silently and moved to follow, but was halted by the thunderous voice of the head groom as it blared through the stable.  
"An idiot he may've been, but he wasn't just 'some idiot'. Word goes it was some fancy lord of some kinda forest." He grinned, having apparently recovered from the shock of finding Regina to be his  
future queen. "Sherwood something, I think."

Regina felt the world crumble around her at the words. She gasped heavily and had to steady herself against the stable as she lunged for air. Tinkerbell had promised that Robin would come for her and she had believed the fairy's words. She had known the dangers and had ignored them. Now she paid the price. "No." She whispered as all breath left her. She felt bile rising in her throat and the world started spinning, but she forced herself to stay upright. She had to see him, had to talk to him. It was the only thought on her mind as she stumbled from the stables, leaving the men there standing in utter confusion.

* * *

She wanted to scream his name as she stumbled through the palace, through the halls and finally down the endless, dark stairwell that led to the dungeon. Many guards had frowned at her or even tried to stop her, but she had shaken them off. The guards standing by the dungeon stairwell had also attempted to stop her, but she had threatened them with having their heads as soon as she was queen and they quickly scurried away. They would probably tell the king, Regina knew, but she could not bring herself to care. She stumbled down the stairs and would have fallen down if she had been wearing anything but the sturdy stable boots on her feet. Finally when she reached the end of the stairs and felt the muddy ground beneath her feet she heard the door slam closed high above her, she permitted herself to call for him. So she did, her voice ringing hollow against the cold stone walls. She smelled the musky smell of the heavy air and blinked her eyes furiously against the darkness. There was one light source: a small oil lamp that cast a faint light in the otherwise dark cellar. It was more frustrating than it was helpful, which was probably the point.  
"Robin!?" She called again. Her face fearful and high-pitched as it rang through the air. Silence followed her call for a few seconds, before she heard a grunt and a cough that sounded like it could be her name. Another cough was heard and then Regina's heart fell as she heard his voice answering her, weaker than she had ever heard it. "Regina?"

As soon as Regina heard his voice, the light above her brightened enough to illuminate the room. Regina was too busy stumbling over to Robin's cell to pay much attention to it, just glad that she would be able to see him. Or so she'd thought.

Robin looked awful, even as he tried to hide it from her and smiled at her, she could see it: the grimace in his face, the hunched posture of his body and the dirt and mud that clung to his body like raffled pieces of skin. Regina dropped to her knees before his cell and reached towards him, but Robin was seated in the far edge of the cell, leaning heavily against the wall. When she closed in on him Regina could see the way he was cradling his right arm and winched every time it slipped from the grasp. Cuts, scrapes and bruises were scattered all around his body, but what terrified Regina the most was the large cut that seemed to stretch all the way from his right shoulder to his elbow. Robin had evidently attempted to wrap it up himself, but the strip of cloth was tied far too loosely and only covered a small piece of the enormous gash. Regina gasped when she saw it. "Robin, what happened?" She had to fight to keep the complete and utter panic from her voice. This could not happen, Robin could not die in this cell like some ordinary thief. Yet she had seen men succumb to infections and she felt a sickening realization race through her: it was exactly what he was meant to do.

Robin coughed and when he spoke his voice was strained, as if his lungs struggled to get enough air for the words. "I couldn't let you marry the king. I can't." He gasped and winched as the particular vigor he had placed in his words made a string of pain race through his lungs. "The fairy helped me find you. She enchanted my tattoo to glow green when I came near you. It was helpful." He grimaced. "But I forgot about it breaking into the palace. Green light like that gets spotted easily. I should have covered it, but I didn't… I couldn't." She could see his head falling back against the stone and saw his eyes turn into his head as his body protested against further actions, tried to lull him into a sleep. He sighed and for a moment sounded almost contently, but Regina shrieked his name and Robin opened his eyes again, staring at her as he twisted the corners of his mouth up in a sad smile. It was an apology, Regina knew, but she did not want his apologies, so she stretched her hand to him through the bars.

"Robin, come here." She ordered, her voice heavy. She knew a little about treating wounds and she had to try to help him. A voice in the back of her head told a different story; it told that if he had to die, she wanted to be with him while he left. Robin lifted his eyes to hers and seemed to hesitate for a second, before he got to his feet and stumbled to the bars, sitting down heavily in front of her. He flinched back like a wounded animal when Regina reached for the wound and took off the bloodied piece of fabric with deft fingers. She never hesitated before ripping a large strip of fabric from the hem of her dress to bandage his wound. When she moved to wrap the bandage around his arm and her fingers traced his skin, she felt something awaken inside her that had not been there for some days: magic. It streamed from her fingers without permission: a golden glow that illuminated her hands and buried itself in his skin. The golden glow found the jagged edges of the gash and to Regina's astonishment the flesh started knitting together as if threated by expert hands. Robin gasped but she saw his face twist from a contorted expression into one of relief and bliss. Regina felt the magic seeping from her fingers and as it did, it found the cuts, bruises and scrapes on Robin's body and made them disappear as if they were never there. She felt her own strength waver as the magic was pulled from her with so much force that Regina could not attempt to hold it back, but she could hear Robin's heart pounding in her head, growing stronger with every beat of her own heart and could not be bothered to think about it.

Robin's breathing grew steadier, his heart stronger and his body better until she felt his strong hand on hers. He pushed her hand away and Regina's heart stopped for a second as the contact between them was severed. The light above them started flickering again and dimmed down to the faint light that it had been before, leaving them both in near complete darkness. What little she could see spun before her eyes and she was tired. So tired.  
"I'm okay, Regina. You're okay." Robin breathed softly, but his voice quickly grew frantic as Regina started to waver and lean towards the bars of his cell, much like he had earlier.  
"Regina? Stay with me! Regina! No!" Robin screamed. The world went dark, the little light that had been there disappearing into the dark abyss.  
"I love you." Robin whimpered.

It were the last words she heard before she succumbed to the exhaustion and passed out.

* * *

Shouting. Screaming. Snarling. Crying. It was all she could take in when she awoke all of it equally strange and muffled to her. Her head was pounding and unable to comprehend words that were spoken, perhaps to her, perhaps to someone else. Her body hurt, an ache spreading out from her heart that she did not remember ever feeling before. Her body and mind felt slow and sluggish, as if every bit of strength had been drained from her. Her lungs remembered just in time they needed air and she coughed when she gasped in a breath that was more dirt than air. She was lying on the floor, she realized and slowly the memories returned to her. They were dragging their feet, as if something in her did not want to remember at all.

"Regina!?" It was Robin's familiar voice that finally broke through the muffled bubble created by her mind. It popped and suddenly there were too much voices, too much confusion and screaming. Her eyes rolled back in her eyes and lulled her back to sleep. Almost, because the next thing she knew was that Robin's strong arms were wrapped around her and something about his presence kept her awake, gave her some strength back. She felt his kiss on the back of her head as he mumbled sweet nothings until her head stopped buzzing and she could focus on what was happening;

They were still in the cellar, light now streaming through the door at the top of the stairs, illuminating the room in a strange, white light. The king was standing in front of her, his eyes saddened when he looked at her, yet a small hint of a smile around his mouth. Snow stood by his side, wide-eyed and biting her lip in excitement. The two guards that had stood guard at the stairs were also present and _of course_ they had gotten the king. It was all as was to be expected, safe for one thing: Robin was not in his cell anymore.

"Regina, can you hear me?" The next one to speak was the king, his gentle voice loud enough in the cramped quarters of the dungeon. Regina nodded and forced herself to stand up. She was covered in mud, her dress ragged at the hem where she'd ripped off the fabric that was to be tied around Robin's arm. She had never looked worse in her life, yet Robin's arms wrapped around her tightly as if he were protecting her, sheltering her from the future right in front of her. The king gave a smile and gave a nod towards Robin.  
"When I heard this man had tried to break into the palace I knew what he was trying to do." He shook his head and put a hand on his daughter's shoulders. "I just was wrong about the reason why." He turned to his daughter and Snow smiled at her father, proud not of herself, but of her father. The king smiled back. "My daughter Snow made me understand. She told me a story about true love, but she called it _Sine qua non_." He furrowed his brow and chuckled softly, something that seemed completely out of character for him, yet made him seem more like the king the stories told about; the benevolent ruler, filled with kindness and love. He walked towards them and Regina felt the urge to run away rise up, but Robin held her tightly, his arms wrapped around her as he mumbled soothingly against her. "I thought he was stealing you away for himself, but in reality he was freeing you… from me" He sighed and his eyes were sad with remorse and he knew, Regina realized, he knew everything.  
"When I came here I found something I'd never have expected to see: you were laying against the bars of the cells and the outlaw, the man I believed to have kidnapped you, was holding you and kissing you and begging for you to return. I knew my dear Snow had been right at that moment." He gave a soft smile, one laced with memories of past love's, one Regina knew well. "I know true love when I see it. And I love it too much to stand in its way." He gestured his guards to stand aside and gave a nod to Robin. "You are pardoned and I sincerely apologize for the treatment my guards gave you. They had no right to do so."  
He then turned to Regina and gave a smile. "You're free to leave. I have ordered the stable hands to saddle your mare for you. I know she's really yours already but … consider it a parting gift."  
Regina opened her mouth to ask the king a last question, but Robin spoke before she could find the words. An anger seeped back into his voice, his words strained: "He knows about Cora. I told him everything."  
The king's face fell and he sighed. "I never thought she'd fallen into with the darkness that way. I will try to keep her from you as long as I can. Consider it repayment for … everything."

"Thank you." Regina breathed. The king stepped aside in permission for her to move past him, the light streaming from the door promising her an escape that she had since given up on getting. She stopped when she moved past Snow and crouched down until she was face to face with the girl.  
"Thank you." She whispered and she meant it from the bottom of her heart. "Thank you." She pressed a kiss against the girl's head and to her surprise the girl's arms wrapped around her in a tight hug.  
"Go, be happy." Snow told her, pulling back and giving a bright smile. Regina had never expected to feel a tug of sadness at leaving the girl behind, yet she did. She stroked the girl's ebony hair, so much like her own, back and smiled at her.  
"Will you visit?" She asked and Snow nodded in reply, earning another smile from Regina. When she stood up she felt Robin's hand wrap around hers. She held him tightly all the way through the palace and kept holding his hand until they finally stepped outside the palace. She held him tightly as they led their horses to the shimmering field of magic that Cora had put into place.

She held him as she stepped through the field. first one foot and then the other. She wasn't pulled back, wasn't touched by her mother's magic as long as she was with him. She knew what it meant, but the realization did not scare her. She let the horse's reins drop onto the floor and took both his hands in hers, forcing him to do the same. The horses did not run of, simply trotted towards each other to make their acquaintance.  
"Thank you for coming for me." She whispered to Robin, her hands still squeezing his tightly. Robin gave a soft smile.  
"Thank you for fixing my failed rescue?" He said on a light breath and Regina laughed, truly laughed, for the first time in a long while. She brought up both her hands to weave through his hair. Robin opened his mouth to tell her something, but she did not want his words. Not know. She wanted him. So she pressed her lips against his and kissed him. She kissed him right in front of the shimmering magic that had failed its purpose to keep her out, she kissed him in front of the two horses: one from her past, the other from her future. She kissed him in front of the castle that she had thought would become her prison.

She kissed him as if they had all the time in the world and for the moment, it was easy to believe they did.

_

**How sickeningly romantic is that? I was actually a bit nauseated by myself, haha. I loved writing this chapter and I'm really eager to know your responses, so please review =) Also Leopold is different in my fic because he was supposed to be a 'kind and benevolent' ruler on the show, which they screwed up massively imo. (on the show he's just a creep. Period.) I could end this fic here, but I have way too many ideas so I'll continue even though this would be a good point to stop. Whoops. Thank you for reading! **

**Also for the peeps that follow me on tumblr: the 'old friend' was Rocinante! Well I don't blame you for not guessing that ;-)**


	21. Chapter 21

**WARNING**: **This chapter may include triggers, which I will name at the bottom of the page for people who don't want to be spoiled.**

* * *

"Thank you for coming for me." She repeated the words spoken earlier, whispered them against his bare skin as they lay cuddled together in the middle of the bed. She could hear the gentle moving of his chest and the sleepy thudding of his heart and for a moment she thinks he's asleep. He'd and caressed her and loved her for the better part of the night and now both were content with just feeling the warmth of a lover's grasp.  
Robin opened one eye, sleep and confusion showing a side of him that not many got to see. He smiled at her and pressed a light kiss to her shoulder, wrapping his hands around her lithe body tighter and pulling her closer to him. Regina figured Robin did not so much as understand her words as he'd heard it. However, after a sleepy, content sigh Robin answered:  
"I love you." There were no other words and Robin seemed it to be enough of an answer to her unspoken question. Regina's heart stirred at the words as it ever did, but her mind was still too awake to be lulled into placid acceptance. She trailed her fingers over Robin's chest and the archer slowly opened his other eye to look at her. When he noticed the troubled look in her eyes he pushed himself up to sit against the headboard, pulling Regina up until she was sitting facing him, his arms still lightly draped around her.  
"Hey, what's up?" He was still fighting away the remnants of sleep, his voice raspy and his eyes still clinging to the world of dreams. Regina smiled at the sight and could not help herself from weaving her fingers through his hair, longer than it had been when she'd met him. She liked it this way. She sighed softly at his questioning eyes and leant into him slightly until she could only just meet his eyes anymore.  
"I just never thought I'd have this." She closed her eyes and chuckled softly. It was the truth; she had never expected anyone to do the things for her that Robin had. Not even Daniel, because Daniel had been sweet, but he had not been brave enough to stand up to Cora. Nobody had been but him. Robin frowned and pulled back slightly to look into her eyes deeply, as if she held the answers to all his questions cooped up inside there.  
"Have this?" He frowned. "You mean love?"  
Regina smiled, because she knew what he was thinking of; he was thinking of Daniel and how she had told him about the love they shared. He remembered the darkness that lay in her past and that alone made her heart jump a little. She smiled and pressed a light kiss to his lips, breathed in his scent for a moment before answering:

"No, I believed that I'd have love for a long time, at least until … until after Daniel." Her smile fell when she spoke Daniel's name, as it always did and probably would always do. She used to smile at that name, but now it echoed hollowly in the empty space he'd left in her heart. Robin's eyes were the same they ever were, not so much pitying, but understanding. She sighed and leant her head against his chest. "I mean I never thought I'd have someone who would … save me?" She frowned at the words. They sounded weird upon her tongue, strange and wrong somehow. Yet was it now what he had done?  
"That someone would stand up to my mother for me." She explained softly. She wondered what his eyes would tell her if she were to look into them, but she did not move to see it. Instead she closed her eyes.  
"And then you did." She laughed softly, still disbelieving of Robin's unbelievable dedication to her. She had never known that, not even in the people who had loved her before.

Robin brought cupped her cheeks in his strong hands and brought her face up towards his. He pressed his lips softly against hers and let them linger in a light, slow kiss. When he pulled back Regina had closed her eyes again, her mouth slightly opened as she breathed the air that smelled of a blend of forest and palace perfume.  
"Get used to it." He professed, his face a smile that was almost mischievous, as if they shared a secret between them that not even the universe itself was witness to. Regina smiled in reply and Robin weaves his fingers through her hair. He returned his lips to hers in another kiss, his hands trailing down over the spots of her body that made her skin sing in joy and pleasure. She sighed heavily and leant into his touch. She deepened the kiss and allowed him to touch her with feathery, teasing fingers, until he finally laid her back on the bed and pushed inside her with a low groan.

He made love to her slowly, seared promises into her skin with his teeth and soothed old pains with gentle kisses. It was slow and loving, savoring the road not so much as the destination. When she finally cried out his name and fell apart around him, she clung to him tightly.  
She dared to believe she'd never have to let go again.

* * *

It had been near four moons since that night. The forest had shed its golden leaves, snow painting the forest an unusual white. Between the golden treetops and the snow covered ground, four moons had come and passed in quiet days in the Sherwood Forest: the war had been ended before it had truly begun and the forest was at last at peace. Neither Cora nor Rumplestiltskin had shown themselves in four months and even though Regina did not believe her mother was truly defeated, a peace had fallen over her life that had long been lacking. Her magic had weakened as she ceased to use it, the ice no longer spreading through her veins when she was angry or anxious until one day. Her light magic stayed, rearing its head only when she touched Robin, until one day it had disappeared too. Roland had grown to love her immensely, until one day he had shyly asked her if he could call her 'mommy'. His words had floored her, but she had nodded with tears in her eyes that welled up so easily recently.

A lot had changed in four months' time, but as she laid in bed and felt Robin's hands gently caress her body she closed her eyes and sighed, reveling in the thoughts that Robin would be there no matter how many things changed. He was an constant in a world were nothing ever stayed the same, not even Regina herself. She felt her heart beat nervously against her chest at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Robin's mouth was gentle against her neck as he spoke though kisses, his hands trailing down her body and working down the buttons on one of her new nightgowns, a green one with fabric that slid through his hands like the river itself. Regina smiled and sighed at his gentle touch as Robin slid the gown from her shoulders, baring her skin for his touch.  
"You." She answered and she gasped sharply as Robin lapped her breast before returning to her mouth, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth.  
"Then why are you nervous?" He breathed softly against her lips and Regina sighed into him. She didn't answer, instead took one of his hands and caressed it with her thumb.  
"Just touch me." Regina mumbled, catching his mouth against hers again before he could protest. Robin frowned but did as she bid, sliding his hands over her body. There were still parts of Regina's heart that she struggled to show him and pushing her was never any good. Some parts of her heart simply did not belong to him. Maybe they never would. So he didn't try to steal that which she wouldn't give to him yet and obeyed her, quickly losing himself in her body against as he kissed and touched softly until at once, he froze.

She felt it immediately when he noticed; saw every part of him halt in midair, even his breath seemingly hanging still between them. He pulled back from her lips, his eyes trailing down her body and finding the place where one hand was laid on her stomach. His other hand retreated from it's resting place on her breast and trailed down as well. Regina saw he was trembling, saw his breath growing heavy as he stared for a long while. Her heart rammed against her chest, because she had known, of course she had; a lot had changed in four months and she was no exception.

Robin breathed out heavily, his mouth searching for words but coming up short. He gazed to her in an unspoken question that Regina did not answer. Then he returned to her stomach and started moving his hands over the slight curve he had discovered there. He was impossibly gentle, his touch barely there, as his trembling hands tried to confirm what his heart already knew. When he finally looked up again she saw him swallow heavily and, to her surprise, tears were brimming in his eyes.  
"Regina?" He asked. His voice was raspy as he spoke and Regina didn't think she'd ever heard so much hope in a man's voice.  
Regina bit her lip in answer and her heart beat frantically against her chest as she saw the emotions brimming in his eyes. Finally she remembered that he'd expect an answer and she nodded nervously.

The way Robin's face brightened at her words was something beyond anything Regina had ever seen. He breathed out a heavy breath in amazement and stared at her for a second, the air growing thick between them, until he suddenly moved his hands that had lain on her stomach to cup her face and kissed her with such force that it made her body tremble and quake. She felt him breathing through his nose heavily as he refused to part from the kiss. His hands started moving down her body and only when they reached the newly-found curve, did he break the kiss.  
"A baby?" He rasped out in amazement and he was crying and she had never seen him cry before. He hadn't cried when he had been too weak to stand or after when he'd lost nearly half of his men. Yet now tears were streaming down his cheeks as he smiled in amazement.  
"_Our_ baby." He corrected himself breathlessly as pulled away from her to press a kiss to her stomach before returning to her and returning his lips to her for a quick, passionate kiss. "I'm going to be a father again." He breathed in wonder, bringing his hands up again to weave through her hair.

Regina couldn't help but break out in a smile at his overjoyed reaction, yet she could not find it in herself to feel the same joy. She felt it show in her smile, knew it was brimming in her eyes: the fear. Robin did not fail to notice it. His face fell when he did and he frowned slightly, instantly looking less young and carefree than he had just seconds earlier. It made Regina's heart crumble just slightly, because she knew what he was thinking and the look of defeat on his face rended her heart.  
"Regina, what is it?" His voice was a soft whisper as he slid both his hands down from her scalp to cup her cheeks. "Is… is something wrong? Do you not want …" He fell silent, a grief appearing in his eyes as he remembered his reaction, had not even considered that she might not feel the same.  
He took in a shaky breath, but Regina shook her head before he could answer. She sat up and Robin instantly did she same, his gaze never leaving hers.

As she was seated, one hand found her hand down to her abdomen and rested there on the curve she'd first discovered there about two weeks ago when it had been near impossible to notice if she hadn't been looking for it. She had known then, but she hadn't told him, had carried the secret for two weeks with her. She suddenly felt ashamed, perhaps of not telling him sooner, perhaps of the fear caused by things long past. She bit her lip and shook her head again. Tears were brimming in her eyes but she would not allow them to show.  
"No, that's not it. I ... I do want this, Robin." She whispered softly she smiled as she moved her hand over the slight curve. "This baby …" The word felt strange on her tongue and filled her heart both with fear and excitement. "It's just … I've known for about two weeks and I … I didn't tell you."

Robin cocked his head and once again his eyes flitted to where her hand was now resting. He covered it with his own and squeezed it softly. He knew her, could see that she was still nervous by the way her eyes flitted over his face, searching desperately for something to hold on to, felt it in the shaking of her arms and the slight trembling of her lip, as if words were trying to escape that she would not set free. "Why?" He asked her softly and Regina gave him a sad, almost shameful, smile.  
"Because that would make it real." She confessed softly, turning her gaze to something behind him he could not see. It was the place where the mirror had been, before Robin had ordered it smashed and burnt. Robin knew what she was thinking about, it was an old fear that he knew well, that he had comforted her about many times. Yet it seemed different now, deeper and laced with memories that he was not familiar with.

"I'm not going to let her hurt you, Regina. Not you and not our baby. I promise." Robin brought his hands up to force her to face him. The confidence and conviction in his face making Regina's heart halt its frantic beating for a second. It calmed down, settled soothingly in her chest, but only for a second before the memories crashed down full force and ripped an unexpected sob from her throat. She had managed to keep it down ever since she had first discovered the signs. Had managed to keep the tears at bay when memories had crashed down upon her all over again, but now they were flowing freely. She clung to Robin and allowed sobs to wreck her body.

Robin held her, mumbled soothing words to ease a pain he did not know existed inside of her, he rubbed her back and kissed her tears away until finally the sobs subsided and the tears stopped falling. Regina took a shuddering breath and lifted her head to look at him, lone tears escaping from her teary eyes as she attempted to blink them away. Robin did not ask, simply continued to rub her back and trace the tears away. After a long silence Regina sniffed and gave the tiniest of smiles that carried as little sincerity as a smile could carry.  
"I …" The words got stuck in her throat, because she had never spoken the words to anyone, not even to herself. She had never allowed herself to tell herself the truth in so many words, because if she did, she would remember and if she remembered there was no going back. She remembered now, remembered as if it had been yesterday and felt as if it could be tomorrow: He had been so little, so little he would have fitted in the palm of her hand. She wondered how it was she felt the loss so deeply for something she hadn't even known existed just hours before it was ripped away from her. She felt sobs rise up in her body again, but Robin's hand was still rubbing her back and started mumbling the soothing words again and somehow it made the words flow out of her mouth before she could properly form them:

"I was with child before. After Daniel died." Her voice was so soft that it was barely there, so shaky that the words barely sounded like words at all, yet Robin understood every single one of them. Regina clenched her eyes tightly closed and she saw him before her eyes. She remembered how she had screamed, cried, begged for her mother to let her hold him, but Cora had forced her back to the bed with magic's cold grasp and had taken him away from her. She clenched her eyes shut tighter, the images would not go away, but she could not bring herself to open them again.  
"Cora took him away from me." She remembered the drink as it went down, the putrid smell, the way the thick substance ran down her throat as if it were thick blood, clotting already in her throat. She remembered vomiting up the substance, remembered Cora's angry screaming as she forced the drink down her throat, all the while telling her how a foolish girl she had been and that _everything would be all right. _Cora had been more motherly to her then than she had ever been therefore or after and that made it hurt even more.  
She remembered the agonizing pain and the crying and there had been so much blood. Her body started to quake at the memories and for a moment she feared she would never return from them, but then she wrenched her eyes open and Robin's face was in front of her. His mouth was moving but she barely heard his words, barely felt his hand rubbing on her back. She let out another shuddering breath as she found her voice again, the memories receding slightly and making place for the hollowness inside her heart that she had become accustomed to. "I couldn't protect him, Robin." She was shaking and even Robin's tight grasp on her could not stop the shivers that wracked her body. She felt the softest of kisses pressed against her forehead as Robin's arms wrapped around her tighter, pulled her towards him so that every part of her was enveloped by the strong, warmth of his body.

"I'm so sorry, Regina." He had been crying, too. She heard it in the thickness the trembling in his voice as he spoke. She closed her eyes and breathed his scent in, the soothing scent of forest finally managing to stop the rampage that the memories had started in her soul. Finally her lungs managed to regain control of the breath they so desperately tried to reach, finally her mind could reel back the memories and put them away somewhere they could not escape. Robin sensed her calming and pulled back from her, his gaze fixed on hers as he spoke with such utter conviction and devotion that it ripped another sob from the depths of Regina's body.  
"I will not let that happen to our baby, Regina." Robin told her, his eyes never leaving hers. "I will not let her get to our baby. Never. Okay? I won't allow it." He hesitantly moved his hand to lay on her stomach, the warmth radiating from his touch somehow more comforting than his words.

When Regina didn't respond Robin cupped her cheeks with his strong hands again, wiping his thumbs in soothing circles over her still damp cheeks. "I won't." He promised again, his voice soft and soothing. Regina smiled softly at him and nodded softly, allowing Robin to wrap his arms around her again and hold her tightly to his chest as he laid them both down on the bed. Regina laid in silence pressed against him, her hands grasping tightly around him as she listened to the sounds of the forest outside. The wind howled as if in mourning the passing of summer's warmth last remnants. Luckily the winter cold did not reach into the Sherwood forest as bitterly as it did in the countryside and did not manage to breach through the canvas of the tents, making the tents as warm as ever. It was snowing, Regina could tell by the darkened spots on the canvas were the pack of snow had managed to find a ridge to house itself on. It reminded her of Snow, the young girl who had not understood and of Roland, the even younger boy who had.

"I see him in Roland." The words were a confession, a secret that she never really intended to tell him. Robin opened the eyes he had closed and pushed her back from him slightly so he could meet her eyes. He always wanted to see her eyes when they talked, Regina noticed, while others had mostly tried to avoid them, even her father. Regina figured the loneliness in there had just hurt too much to face. Robin did not answer to her, simply gave a soft smile that Regina figured was encouraging. She flitted her eyes away, but Robin squeezed her hand in a silent request for her to return her eyes to his. She did.

"I mean, I know I'm not his mother." Regina smiled softly, almost ashamed of the tricks her mind would sometimes play with her when she was around the little boy, especially after she'd found out about the new life in front of her had made her remember the old one.  
"But …" She couldn't find the words to explain, couldn't understand why her brain had decided to soothe her heart by telling such nonsensical tales. Robin shook his head nearly unperceivably, halting the words she could not even find in the first place.  
"You …. You can be, Regina." His words were more hesitant than she'd ever heard his voice, a hope in his tone that he failed to hide from her, no matter how hard he tried. Regina gasped softly as the realization of what he meant hit her, because he _wanted_ this. Robin smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I know it won't make the loss any less but …" He bit his lip. "You can be Roland's mother, if you want."

Regina smiled as she remembered the boy that reminded her of things that could have been, the boy that had taken hesitantly calling her 'mommy' at times when he'd stubbed his toe or gotten a splinter. The boy had stilled called her 'Gina' for most of the time, however and Regina had been perfectly fine with that. Yet the idea of really being a mother to Roland, of them being a family made a lump rise her throat until she could only whisper out a reply:  
"I would like that."

Robin smiled broadly and pressed a slow, soft kiss to her lips before he pulled her in his arms again tightly. Regina sighed contently and finally the fear and anxiety that had been brewing inside her for two weeks dissipated. She closed her eyes and tried to search for sleep, but before she could find it a thought rose up in her and she could not hold it back. Would not hold it back.  
"Robin?" she whispered. Robin hummed softly in reply, sleep already tugging insisted on his mind.

"I'm really happy about our baby." She realized she hadn't told him yet and she needed to, because it was the truth. She remembered how happy he'd been about the news, how he had kissed her and held her and suddenly she understood why, because as the anxiety and fear dissipated, it was that happiness that remained. She smiled. "Really happy."  
Robin pressed another kiss to her forehead. "I know." He whispered softly. "I am too."

He spoke no more words, simply moved his hand down to her stomach and traced his fingers over it a couple of times. He gave her a broad smile and another kiss against her lips, before wrapping his arms around her again and holding her close to him.

As she fell asleep it was no longer dreams of what could have been in the past haunting her, but dreams of what could be in the future. The wind howled furiously outside, trees complaining as they bent and broke in its grasp, yet safely tucked against Robin's side with the fears driven away like snow on a summer's day, Regina slept better than she had in weeks.

* * *

**TRIGGER WARNING for: Miscarriage**

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**AN: I was really excited about writing this chapter. You have no idea how long I've been planning that part of Regina's backstory, I'm glad the 'secret' is out now, haha. I've been dropping hints about this since the beginning of the story. Did any of you suspect this or was it a completely surprise. I hope you are as excited for this storyline as I am. I have been plotting this literally since I started writing the story, haha.  
Your reviews always manage to brighten up my day and as always: THANK YOU for reading.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Couple of notes: **

**1. First to clarify something, the 'miscarriage' warning was with regards to her first pregnancy, not to this one. A couple of people seemed to think that she would miscarry with his one, but that's not what I meant with it. (and if she would, I would not give away that info now, I'm sure). Also, because people seemed confused about this too: Cora forced Regina to have a forced abortion/miscarriage, so the baby, sadly, did not live: it simply wasn't old enough to be born yet.**

**2. as you have noticed, I've not been updating as fast as I did before. This is because school has started for me and school means uni this year. Since school is super important to me and it's quite a workload, I simply won't have as much time to write as I had before. I will try to keep udating regularly though, so don't worry. **

**As always THANK YOU for reading. I am so glad people like this story, your reviews have truly been overwhelming and so so kind.**

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Just over a month later winter had truly claimed the Sherwood forest; the last remains of the golden canopy driven away had made place for thick, white cover of snow in bared treetops. The snow fell down gently, but near constantly and covered the encampment in a thick, soft layer of snow. Even within the tent it was hard to keep the warmth out and Robin had scoured his encampment for extra blankets in an effort to keep his wife warm and comfortable. It worked fine and Regina slept blissfully warm at night, though she still loved to curl up into her husband. Especially when back pains started to trouble her, the touch of Robin's warm hands on her back would make a deep sigh of content run through her body. Now, however, Regina did have neither the blankets nor Robin's warm touch. It made her gruffly, annoyed and most of all: cold.

Regina was not overly concerned with what to wear most of the times, but appearing in front of all the encampment still made her nervous and self-conscious at times. The cold weather and her pregnancy –definitely showing now- did not make the choice much easier: the weather meant that high waisted dresses and clothes of the sort would not make the cut, while her pregnant belly seemed to rule out most of her other clothing. She sighed in exasperation and retreated from her inadequate closet to the closest source of warmth: a sturdy, metal construction in the middle of the tent with hot coals still slightly smoldering in the middle. It was pretty effective for keeping warm, but most of the coals had cooled down already and Regina had to huddle close to the warmth to not shiver at the cold.

She longed for a warmth bath, but she'd had one yesterday already and she knew how much trouble Robin would have to go to if he were to prepare another one for her. She remembered Mhairi telling her that bathing in a tub with hot water would be seen as a waste and disrespect towards nature's gift, but when Robin had seen her struggling with back pains, he'd assured her that nature had not been all that respectful to her already and that it owed her some. When Regina had first stepped into the pleasantly hot water, all worries about respect and cultures had dissipated and Robin had smiled broadly at the relief appearing on his wife's face. She tried to summon that smile in front of her now, but it failed to cheer her up in the slightest.  
She paced around the source of warmth in annoyance until she was at least partially warm again and took another attempt at finding some decent clothing to appear in. After rejecting many horribly-looking or unsuitable outfits her eye fell on a baby blue empire-waist dress. It would fit her beautifully and would still manage to show cast the parts of her figure that had benefitted from her pregnancy. She reached out to the thin fabric and let it slide through her fingers. She would hold it up if she had a mirror, but Robin had been increasingly paranoid of the things and would not allow them in camp anymore. She understood, but right now it just plainly annoyed her. Just when she decided to just try the dress to see if it fit, she was interrupted by Robin's stern yet slightly cocky voice.  
"You're going to freeze in that, milady." Robin walked into the tent and was accompanied by a waft of cold air that effectively drove out the last bits of warmth that had still managed to remain. Regina shivered and she knew without looking that her husband would be smirking at her.  
"I will if you keep that up." She answered in annoyance, throwing the dress away and crossing her arms in front of her chest to preserve some of the warmth that was rapidly escaping her. She heard Robin's soft chuckle behind her and was just ready to snap at him for laughing at her discomfort, when she felt the warmth of a thick cloak around her shoulders, followed by Robin's warm arms wrapping around her figure. As she leant into the warmth he was providing her, it was hard to stay annoyed. She sighed contently and closed her eyes as Robin pressed a soft kiss to the back of her head and as started trailing his warm, strong hands over her body, her irritations seeped away like her irksome back pains.

"What's bothering you?" Robin's soft breath was a pleasant sensation against the skin of her neck, yet when she opened her eyes again and took in her inadequate closet, her annoyance resurfaced just a bit.  
"I've got nothing to wear." The words came out sounding somewhere between whiny and just outright annoyed. Robin chuckled again and the short sound hotwired Regina's irritation all over again.  
"And I'm freezing." She added. It wasn't exactly the truth anymore with Robin's warmth enveloping her. Still, she had the right to complain; her back had been aching for the better part of the past week and she could hardly remember a time that her ankles did not complain every time she stood up. She'd heard stories about women being nauseous and dizzy for weeks or sometimes even months and she had been spared that for the most part, so she considered herself lucky, but it did not stop her complaining at times.

"Well if you're cold, then go put some clothing on." Robin was not helping.

Regina knew he was grinning and no matter how much she loved that smile, his complete lack of assistance to resolve the clothing crisis did nothing to elevate her steadily growing annoyance. She huffed.  
"Either help me or get out." She snapped at him, wishing secretly that he would really not leave her, lest the cold in the tent would return to her and she would _really_ be freezing. Robin, to his credit, was either too stubborn or knew her too well to leave and simply nuzzled closer to her. But he chuckled again, so Regina could not bring herself to appreciate it.

She knew she was being unreasonably snippy towards Robin, but in truth she was nervous and achy and her pregnancy hormones seemed to think that the best way to resolve those emotions was either snapping at Robin or taking him to bed. The last option was not really an option at all, so Robin would just have to suffer some snide remarks.

Not that they seemed to touch him in the least. He reached past her towards the outfit that Regina steadily forced herself not to look at. It was the outfit she had worn for the past few days: it was huge, hideous and for all intents and purposes; shaped like a sack of potatoes. Unfortunately it was also heavenly soft and sinfully comfortable, not to mention warm. Regina steadily refused to look at the sweater that Robin was dangling in front of her.  
"I wore it yesterday already and the day before that and about every day before _that."_ Regina's voice was gruff, as she remembered that the ugly piece of clothing was really the only thing both warm, comfortable and big enough in the closet. She should've asked Mhairi to procure some new clothing for her, but that would be spilling her secret to the girl and she and Robin had agreed to hold back from announcing the pregnancy until she was a further along, when hiding it would be impossible anyway. She regretted that decision now, but Regina figured it was probably because of the huge, poofy, hideous sweater that not every member in camp had figured it out yet anyway.

"I had it washed." Of course he had.

"I'm not going to wear _that-."_ She pointed to the sweater with the best look of distaste she could muster. "-When appearing in front of everyone in the encampment to announce we are having a baby." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, purposely avoiding eye contact with either Robin or the sweater.  
Robin sighed and threw the sweater back on the pile of rejected clothing that had already formed next to the closet. "Fine." He huffed, though he sounded slightly amused instead of truly annoyed. He walked past her –Regina mourned the loss of his touch- and started rummaging through the part of the large, wooden closet that housed his small collection of jackets and trousers. Eventually he seemed to find what he was looking for hidden away in a drawer. Regina frowned when he took it out, but gasped the moment he lifted it in front of him and started cleaning the dust from the long-forgotten fabric. It was a dress, but instead of the thin, flimsy palace fabrics of her dresses that offered little protection against cold, it was of thick fabric and lined with either fur or wool. The dress was simple, colored just a deep green with no embroidery or jewelry, just a few stiches here and there. It was evidently made for function rather than fashion, but to Regina it looked more beautiful than any of the other dresses in the closet, because it was the only one that actually looked _warm_.

"It belonged to my mother. She was a bit taller than you, a bit more sturdy too, but it should fit." Robin handed her the dress. It felt heavier than most dresses Regina wore usually in the Sherwood forest, but not heavier than some dresses Cora had made her wear. Regina glanced down at the dress, then up to Robin and bit her lip. Robin's mother, she didn't know anything about the woman. They mostly avoided talking about Cora and somehow avoiding conversation about Robin's parents followed seamlessly from that.

Apparently Regina's thoughts showed on her face, as they ever did, because Robin sighed and patted the still dusty cloth in Regina's hands.  
"I will tell you about her sometime." He gave a smile, but it was forced somehow, as if the thought of his mother brought anything but a smile to his face. A sense of regret crept up on Regina without warning, because she had been so focused on fear and anger directed towards her own mother that the idea of Robin's had gone completely forgotten. When she didn't move, too deeply in thought to remember the dress that landed her thoughts on the subject of Robin's mother in the first place, Robin gently placed his hand on her arm. Against her rapidly cooling skin Robin's warm hand felt nearly burning, a pleasant burn though.  
"Put it on, you're freezing." He urged and the concern in Robin's voice spurred her into action within seconds. She was, indeed, cold and the soft, warm fabric was suddenly calling to her. It called a lot louder than her trepidation about wearing a dress that had belonged to the woman that Robin did not seem to like to talk about.

She quickly shed the nightgown and slid the forest-green dress over her trembling body. The dress would indeed have been a bit too large for her normally slim figure, but the pregnancy had given her a more curvy figure than she was used to. Combined with the ever-growing curve of her belly, the dress fitted fine. It probably didn't embrace her body perfectly and show off every part of it optimally, but it fitted and most importantly: it was warm.  
"You look beautiful." Robin praised, but Regina only scoffed lightly in answer. Due to the lack of a mirror it was hard to know if she'd agree with Robin's assessment, but since Robin called her beautiful no matter what she wore, his judgment was not particularly valuable in terms of information. She tried to tell her heart as much as it fluttered like it did every time he'd tell her.

Robin's arms wrapped around her again and Regina could not help herself when she leant back into him. Robin pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head and trailed his hands down to rest his hands on the curve of her midsection. The baby had started moving about a week ago and Robin could not get enough of feeling the tiny movements beneath his fingers, would try to rest his hands on her belly as often has he could to try and catch the tiny movements of his child. The baby often moved too lightly for Robin to feel, but that would not stop him trying to draw out a more firm movement. Regina loved his attentiveness and almost childlike excitement most of the times, but sometimes she would snap and him and bat his hands away when he tried to. She was just about to tell Robin that the baby had not moved for the entire morning and was probably as gruffly as she was, when she felt a soft kick where Robin was rubbing gentle circles on her belly. She bit her lip in slight jealously, because while she had the privilege of feeling the movements too light for Robin to feel, Robin's touch was seemingly the only thing that could draw out the rare, firmer kicks. Robin gasped as he ever did at the touch and pressed another kiss on the top of Regina's head. His hands continued rubbing circles on her stomach, but the baby refused to budge again and finally Robin relented, drawing his hands up to Regina's shoulders and massaging her slightly, digging his thumbs in the tired flesh that rested there.

"Are you nervous?" He asked and Regina nodded. Though the men and women in camp had accepted Regina has their ruler and listened to the scarce commands she would give them, appearing in front of them was still something that unnerved her immensely. And then of course there was the other thing; the little boy and how she hoped he would react. Robin trailed his hands down her arms and took her slim hands in his own, squeezing softly.  
"Roland is going to love it, I'm sure of it." Robin had told her so often that Regina nearly rolled her eyes at his words, yet the thought of the little boy made her smile. "As for the announcement … We don't have to do it, you know? We can just let them figure it out for themselves, gods know most of them probably will have already."

Regina laughed at his words, because it was true: her pregnancy was already pretty obvious and would have been noticed by every member of camp if not for the cold weather and thick clothing. Still she shook her head and turned in his embrace, pressing a soft peck of a kiss to his lips.  
"I want to do it. It's your culture, it's a part of you and will also be a part of the baby." She smiled softly. "And I like to think of it as a part of me, too."  
Robin smiled broadly, his eyes twinkling happily at her words. Leaning forward he pressed a soft kiss to Regina's forehead and allowed it to linger there for a few seconds, before he pulled back and took her hand in his.  
"Ready to tackle the most frightening challenge of all: my barely five year old son?" He teased and Regina chuckled.  
"Ready when you are."

She grabbed the thick deerskin coat that she had been wearing for most of the days lately. The jacket was lined with rabbit fur and blissfully warm and soft. She sighed pleased when the combination of dress and jacket enveloped her in almost a summery warmth. She ignored Robin's queer, slightly amused expression as she put the coat on and marched past him out of the tent, reinvigorated by the warmth of her at least presentable clothing.

* * *

Roland resembled a stuffed doll most of all in his puffy jacket and slightly-too-big hat. With his huge, wooly green scarf wrapped around nearly half of his face and the wooly hat about covering the other half, he would have been nearly unrecognizable if it were not for his excited shrieking and giggling. He seemed to be playing some game with little John and some other men that seemingly included snow forts and throwing snowballs at each other. Regina saw how little John lifted Roland in the air as if he were a ragdoll, while Roland, arms gathered full of Snowballs, started pelting the others with snowballs.  
"They're cheating!" A tall, bearded man that would have been imposing if it were not for his gleeful eyes feigned indignation. Roland just giggled and threw another snowball that hit the man square in the face, who fell down with a comic scream, eliciting another wave of giggles from the young boy. Regina's heart fluttered at the sight, her hand trailed down to her stomach, the curve of which lay hidden beneath layers of clothing. She thought about her own child playing in the snow with Roland, her and Robin. She hoped that Robin's men would love her child as dearly as they did Roland.

Little John noticed their approach before Roland did and the boy complained when he was put down, yet he brightened up when he took sight of Robin and Regina. The thick clothing combined with the layer of snow made him waggle slightly as he ran towards them, but he was still too fast and slippery to be held back by little John. Roland gave a big grin as he plowed through the snow towards them, halting just in front of Regina.  
"Regina!" He had gotten the hang of her name in the past months and was keen to show off his new mastery of language. The boy was rapidly learning not only to speak more eloquently, but had also started to learn some writing: he could write his own name and had proudly announced that he would learn to write hers soon. He was evidently proud of new skills and attempted to showcase them to anyone who would listen, thus the boy called her by her name every chance he got. When the boy was tired, however, she was still just 'Gina' and, very rarely, when he was hurt she would even be 'mommy'.

Regina noticed with a soft smile that little John was urging the other men to quickly scoot away. Whether they'd noticed her pregnancy or not, they were definitely aware that something was going on. She allowed herself only a moment's thought on the matter, before returning to the broadly smiling, adorable little boy in front of her. She bent down as far as her belly would allow her to, rearranged the scarf that had gone askew before and she smiled broadly at the little boy. The boy stared up at her and held out his hands, snow sticking to it and turning the dark green mittens white.  
"Do you want to build a snowman?" He chimed happily, his voice slightly muffled from behind the scarf, his smile not visible on his mouth, but twinkling in his eyes and audible nonetheless. Regina laughed softly and pulled the hat over the boy's ears that were threatening to peek out.  
"I would love to, but …"  
Roland's face turned sceptic before she could finish her words; one eyebrow raised and arms crossed in front of him he looked as indignant as a five-year old could manage. It was evident that Roland figured little to be worth passing up on snowman-building. Regina hoped that he would not resent her or the baby for time lost and would instead be as happy as she and Robin were about the news. Robin had assured her he would be happy, but it was hard to predict how the boy would react to a sibling with whom he'd have to share Regina and his father. She felt her nerves bubbling up again and knew she had to tell him quickly, or she'd chicken out and never properly tell the boy at all.

"We need to have a talk with you." Robin chimed in. Roland's posture immediately stiffened at the words, his gaze suddenly falling to the ground as he started shuffling his feet in the thick layer of snow. He was truly the classic example of a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Regina wondered if Roland was thinking about his secret squirrel-feedings and she couldn't help a small inward chuckle at the words. Robin lifted one crooked eyebrow and threw a sideway glance towards Regina, before deciding that now was not the best time to interrogate Roland about whatever mischief he had been involved with.  
"Don't worry, it's not about what you did." Robin managed to sound as if he actually knew what he was talking about, which earned him another soft chuckle from Regina. He kneeled down in front of his son and took the boy's hands, covered with woolly mittens, in his own. Roland relaxed visibly at the words, yet he still seemed suspicious about his father's intentions. He stole glances at Regina and seemed to be trying to figure out if Regina told Robin out his squirrel friends. Regina struggled to keep a straight face under the boy's scrutinizing look. Robin was not oblivious to the nonverbal communication between his son and his wife and cleared his throat.  
"What we want to walk to you about is very important, Roland. Nobody else knows yet, we wanted you to know first. It's a secret." That caught the boy's attention; Roland loved hearing secrets and often bragged to whomever would listen that he had never _ever_ spilled a secret. The boy's suspicion seemed to dissipate or go forgotten at the words. He puffed his chest up and smiled proudly at the words.  
"I have never _ever ever ever_ told a secret to _anyone."_ Roland bragged, turning his gaze in turn to Robin and Regina, as if he were trying to convince both of them of his trustworthiness. Regina's heart warmed at the sight of the boy, suddenly the nerves turned to excitement and suddenly the secret begged to be told. Roland's gaze eventually rested on Regina and Robin nudged her encouragingly. Regina took a deep breath and lowered herself down to Roland's height.

"Roland, what would you think about getting a little brother or sister?" The words were a hushed breath, out before she could even begin to think about how to speak the words. Roland's eyes did not light up in happiness, but neither did he shriek out in anger or cry in sadness. The boy just bit his lip and cocked his head, most of all looking intrigued but reserved. Regina's heart shot up into her throat at the boy's reaction and she felt Robin's almost defeated silence beside her. They had hoped Roland would be overjoyed, but had talked about him being sad or even angry. They hadn't talked about this kind of reaction.  
"Am I?" Roland asked, his tone still nothing but inquiring. Robin finally managed to find words again to answer his son's question, smiling softly at him.  
"Yes. Not yet, but in a few months." They still hadn't told anyone else in the encampment about the pregnancy, not even the birthing wives. It was thus they did not precisely knew how long she had been pregnant or when the baby was about to arrive, but both knew enough to estimate that it would be a few months yet before the arrival.

Roland nodded in understanding. He knew where babies came from. Not a lot of children were born in Robin's encampment, but it happened on occasion and Robin had told his son about it the last time a baby was born. Roland had only just been four at the time and did not remember a lot, but he knew it involved a baby in a belly and a long, long wait. He narrowed his eyes again, his eyes resting on Regina's midsection. Regina wondered if he saw it now.

"Is there a baby in your belly?" A soft excitement grew in the boy's voice and Regina's heart swelled with it, albeit still nervously beating in her chest. She gave the boy a broad smile and nodded.  
"There is." stood up and shrugged the thick jacket off. She figured logically she'd have to be cold without it, but nerves seemed to burn inside her and keep her warm. Roland's eyes bulged as he took in the now visible well of her stomach and he yet out a soft gasp.  
"But not just a baby, Roland, it's your little brother or sister." Robin chimed in, earning another soft gasp from Roland.  
Regina couldn't stop herself from smiling. Her nerves making place for pure excitement. "Do you want to feel?"  
The boy nodded excitedly and stretched out his hands towards her belly, but seemed to change his mind at the last second, quickly pulling them back.  
"What is it Roland?" She asked and the boy gave her a worried look, his brow furrowing in a way that a child his age should not have to. Regina felt her heart shoot up again and prayed that whatever the child was worrying about would not affect his opinion about his new sibling.

"My hands are snowy and cold.'" The boy held up his mittens covered in white powder as if it were evidence. A sudden, relieved laugh left Regina's mouth at his words, because of course the little boy would be so considerate to wonder about the snow on his _mittens_. She took the boy's hands and slid the wooly fabric from his hands, bringing them to rest on the curve of her belly once she'd handed them to Robin. Once Roland's hands touched her rounded stomach, his eyes widened in amazement and he froze in place, not moving a muscle and just staring at his hands resting on Regina's midsection. After a long while of staring in anticipation, the boy slowly walked closer to her and put his eye against Regina's belly. Regina chuckled softly at the boy's action, but a warmth welled up in her that only this little boy could make her feel. And her baby, thinking of her baby made her feel it too.

"Baby." Roland whispered, so quietly that Regina nearly didn't catch it at all. Roland fell silent for a while as if he expected and answer, both his hands still pressed against her stomach.  
"Are you in there?" He closed his eyes in concentration, as if he were trying to pick up any reply from the baby. Regina felt a slight stirring that could have been the baby, but it was far too faint for Roland to pick up on. The boy's face fell at the lack of reply and he pouted his lips slightly, which made Regina both chuckle and stroke the boy's hair apologetically.  
"Baby's just sleeping dear. The baby needs a lot of sleep to grow so he or she can play with you when she's big enough." She told the boy. The disappointment on his face disappeared slightly, but he was still holding his hands pressed to her stomach, evidently hoping to catch a sign of his sibling. He was just like his father in that way. A smile tugged at Regina's mouth at the realization.

Then Robin was in front of her, pressing a chaste kiss to his son's forehead before he took the boy's hands in his own. "Let's see if we can wake her for a second." He whispered to Roland, almost as if he were sharing a secret with his son. Roland surely replied in kind, nodding almost unperceivably in reply. Robin's strong, large hands covered his son's tiny ones as he moved them over her stomach in the same rubbing motions he'd use often when trying to coax a reply from his.

Roland was patient, especially for a five year old: he stared intently at her stomach as he allowed his father to move his hands in soft, soothing motions over her stomach. It took a few minutes, but eventually Roland's patience was awarded with a soft kick against the boy's palm. Roland shrieked excitedly, the sound making Robin jump up nearly two feet into the air. Again the boy placed his ear against her stomach, but the baby had not yet been particularly active and kicks did not come as often as Robin or Roland seemed to wish. She mussed her hand through Roland's hair and pulled back from him slightly, careful to make sure the boy would not fall over as she did so.  
"The baby needs to rest now, Roland, okay?"

Roland nodded in understanding and gave her a dazzling smile as he took both her hands in his own. "Do you want to build a snowman _now?" _  
Regina felt a soft pang of regret in her heart that she could, in fact, not build a snowman with the little boy. Robin had called his man together to announce her pregnancy and she preferred to get it over with as long as possible. She was not sure if the announcement would involve a ceremony of sorts, but Robin had warned her that a fest was traditional and Regina really wanted to get in a few hours of sleep beforehand. The tiredness seemed to be receding lately, but she'd slept rather badly the night before and tiredness was already creeping up on her, slowly but surely.

Roland's face fell, but luckily Robin intervened: lowering himself to his son's height and whispering something in the boy's ear. Regina didn't catch his words, but they made Roland jump and nod excitedly before he turned towards Regina again.  
"I will help!" He shrieked excitedly, before he seemed to realize that he was still supposed to be keeping a secret. He gasped and covered his mouth with his hands in an almost comical gesture. "I will go help." He told her again on a hushed tone, before running off towards the camp.

Regina felt the comforting embrace of the soft jacket wrapping around her again, followed by the even more comforting feeling of Robin's strong arms. He propped his head on her shoulder as they both watched the little boy run off into the camp. It wasn't much longer until they heard the boy's shrill, excited cries cutting through the air.  
Regina laughed. "What did you tell him?"  
Robin made a soft sound that was somewhere between a pleased hum and a chuckle. "I told him to wake the 'lazy butts' up so we could tell everybody about…" His hands moved to the swell of her belly and Regina felt his smile rather than seeing it. He didn't finish his words, simply leaving the idea of what would follow hanging between them in a content silence.

Silence, apart from Roland's excited yapping of course.

Regina sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back against Robin and allowing the soft rubbing of his fingers to lull her into a pleasant state where she was not asleep, but not fully awake either. She knew the hectic day that awaited her still and the probably even more hectic evening, filled with cheering and music.

For now, however, she was content with the pleasant peace that had fallen over her life, covering it like the beautiful white blanket of snow that had fallen over the Sherwood Forest itself.  
She had always dreaded snow, because it meant that she couldn't go out riding and was forced to stay cooped up in her house with her mother, who seemed to take out her irritation at her daughter with more vigor at those times.

She'd grown accustomed to snow over the last few months, but had never gotten to truly appreciate it, still holding a grudge towards the weather that would have her locked in her house, away from the only things that mattered to her. Now, however, with Robin's breath in soft puffs against her skin, his hands caressing the bump beneath which their baby rested and Roland's excited yelping and shrieking in the distance, she saw its beauty.

She understood why the king had named his daughter 'Snow.'


	23. Chapter 23

Regina remembered clearly the last time she'd seen so many of Robin's men and women assembled in the center of the camp. It had been during the funeral, after the battle that had cost the Sherwood Forest more souls than it had lost in a century before that. That night there had been singing and sadness, soft tones of sadness mingled with hope that had finally called the sunrise again. It had been one hundred voices singing the souls goodbye. It had been beautiful.

This was different. As Regina walked into the encampment now, there was nothing of the respectful silence that had preceded the funeral ceremony, nothing of the soft singing in the darkness of night, no moonlight shining through golden leaves,. Instead there was snow, surrounding the camp in a blinding white, while hollering and laughing filled the air in gleeful spirits. It was better, she figured, yet it made her nervous. This was the encampment as it had been the first time she'd entered it and sometimes it was easy to feel like that lost little girl again. Sometimes it was still easy to be afraid of the savage looking members of Robin's tribe; with sharp eyes, strong hands and bows slung over their shoulders, both the men and women in Robin's camp were intimidating to those unfamiliar with them. She felt Robin's hand burning on her back and remembered how those sharp eyes could light up with love and how those strong hands could be as soft as feathers upon her skin.

Still she trailed her hand down her stomach and wondered if it was the future of her child in front of her. If her child would have the same piercing eyes or strong hands. She wondered if her child would one day walk around camp with bow carelessly slung over a shoulder. She wondered if the child now so helpless in her womb would handle that bow with the same precision she had seen in Robin, if her child would one day return from the hunt with scraped knees and cut arms but carrying the first kill and a proud smile. The camp swirled and twisted in front of her eyes, the voices and the laughter blurring together as they fuelled her nerves. She kept walking but there was no path to be seen; just the baby that grew up to be a child that grew up to be a teenager that grew up to be a parent itself until finally-

and suddenly she was falling.

"Regina, are you okay?!"  
She never hit the ground, Robin's arms around her and lifting her up in a matter of seconds. She blinked furiously and felt a bile rise up in her throat that she only just managed to push back down. She breathed heavily and tried to calm her mind, her mind that was rushing everything she'd thought had been gone for a very long time. Robin didn't let her go, just kept his arms around her until she managed to camp her breathing down and the world cleared up again.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Regina managed to get back on her feet and found them to be fairly steady. She blinked away the specks of light from her eyes and found to her horror she was standing in the encampment with the eyes of the entire clan upon her.  
There was silence now; a silence like there had been at the funeral night and suddenly Regina missed the laughter and shouting.

"Mommy?" She only became aware of the little boy pulling on her dress when she heard the small, shaky. Frightened voice beneath her. She felt her anxiety subside at the boy's voice and thankfully the dizziness faded away with it. She smiled softly at the boy.  
"I'm okay, Roland. I just … tripped." She stretched her hand out to the boy, who grabbed it quickly and grasped it tightly as if afraid she'd fall over again. "Do you want to come?" She asked the boy, who replied by nodding enthusiastically.

Regina set out in the distance of the encampment, ignoring the looks of the men and women already assembled there. She saw confusion in some eyes, curiosity or worry in others. She hoped there wouldn't be scorn in them after she'd told them the news. The worry fluttered up inside her again, but Roland's tiny hand wrapped around hers kept her grounded. She had barely set two steps, though, before another hand wrapped around her upper arm. A strong yet soft hand that she would recognize even in the darkest depths of the night.  
"Regina, you don't have to." Robin's voice was hushed and she heard the slight tremble in it, but his hand was sure, strong, determined. "You should rest, lie down or something. You shouldn't overexert yourself."  
Regina scoffed. "I just got out of bed, Robin. I'm fine." She wanted to stalk off to show how fine she was, but Roland still clung tightly unto her hand, even if she'd nearly dragged him away after the first two steps. She couldn't bear to tear her grip from the boy's, either. Instead she turned around and her annoyance faded slightly as she took in Robin's worried expression.  
"Sorry." She mumbled. "But I'm fine, Robin. Really. I just …" She frowned, because she could not really tell what had happened exactly or what had caused it. Anxiety would be her guess, but she was no doctor. She sighed and pinched her forehead. "… well it happens, okay. Just let me do this, I will sit down after, okay?"  
Robin sighed and held her gaze for a few seconds, before his mouth curved up in a small smile. "You can be really stubborn when you put your head to it, you know?" He closed the small distance between them again and trailed his hand over her side, resting it on her hip. It was the closest he could get to caressing her belly without giving anything away to the rest of the encampment, who were probably already suspecting something. "I just don't want you or this baby to get hurt."  
"I know. We won't." Regina promised, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"EW!" screamed Roland, pulling at Regina's hand and dragging her away from his father. Robin busted out in laughter. Suddenly things weren't as scary anymore.

Regina could tell which were the unlucky souls that had pulled the night watch the night before, who had been kicked from their beds and precious dreams by Roland's excited wails. They were the men with tangled beards women with gruffly eyes. Regina avoided to look at them, lest they made her nervous again. The rest of the encampment did not look as intimidating or scary: most of them eying her with either curiosity or blatant boredom.

She snuck a glance at Robin, whose gaze never stopped telling her that she 'didn't have to do this'. He was holding her hand tightly and it felt like an offer to leave with him if she desired to. It was tempting to run away and sleep off the rest of her tiredness, but it would not calm her nerves in the least. She wanted everyone to know and she wanted to see their reactions.

"You need to say something." Roland's hushed voice woke her from her perilous thoughts and a soft chuckle went through the crowd. Regina chuckled along and turned towards the little boy, who steadily ignored the camp's reaction. She lowered herself to the boy's height and whispered words in his ears that were a secret even to Robin:

_ "__Do you want to tell them?"_

And that was when the floodgates opened. Roland nodded enthusiastically and gave a grin that could light up the world for a week before he practically screeched out the secret: "I'm going to be a big brother!"

The encampment reacted as if ever did: with abundance of noise and spirit. She saw reactions ranging from pleased smiles to hollering laughs, from low whistles to shouted congratulations. She could even swear she saw some bets being claimed and collected. Regina couldn't help but laugh, because suddenly her anxiety seemed so incredibly silly. These men and women were not the tight-lipped, aristocracy that would judge and condemn. These were people that lived and loved with the temperance and freedom of the forest winds. They wouldn't judge her.

She felt Robin's hand on her lower back and suddenly there was nothing holding her back anymore. She turned around and grabbed the lapels of Robin's coat, pulling him towards her and pressing a rough, passionate kiss to his mouth. The hollering behind her intensified, but she couldn't be bothered to listen to it any longer. Robin quickly retaliated by kissing her back, his hands mussing through her ebony locks again as he deepened the kiss and pulled her closer to her. Regina moaned softly into his mouth and felt Robin fist her hair tighter at the sound.

"Ew!" Roland shrieked.

It Regina's laughing that finally forced them to break the kiss.

* * *

The members of Robin's tribe could be stern and rough, could be calm like the forest river or sharp like the blades they carried. When they were they were astonishing to behold; moving with quiet footsteps and speaking with whispers of the forest. None of that, however, matched up to the sight when those same men and women danced and laughed and hollered to the tunes of the Sherwood forest's music.

Regina remembered the last fest thrown in her honor. She'd been too scared and anxious that night to notice the beauty of joy playing out before her. She gave a soft smile, thinking of that time that was not even a year ago yet. She would perhaps have expected to sit in the same throne months later, pregnant with Robin's child as was her duty, but she'd never expected to carry such love in her heart for both Robin and their child. She moved her hand to rest her belly. The swell of her stomach was nearly unperceivable underneath the thick layer of warm clothing that protected her against the harsh Sherwood night cold, yet knowing her child rested underneath was enough. The music of the forest was pleasant, an upbeat tone of flute and drums filling the air that the forest dwellers danced to with an abandon unknown to Regina. Mhairi and a few of her friends had attempted to teach her, but Regina had eventually blamed the baby for back pains to get out of the embarrassing ordeal. She mastered every ballroom dance that filled the royal palace balls, but could not bring her body to move with the freedom of the forest dweller's dances.

Mhairi was positively glowing; her golden dress shimmering in the light of the faint winter stars and festive pyres. Regina noted that she'd let her hair grow out: long brown locks flying wildly around her face, brown eyes glimmering along. Perhaps it was because she was listening, but her laugh sounded brightest of all to Regina. The sound filled her with a sense of melancholy to something she'd never had in the first place. It hit her suddenly that Mhairi was only about two years younger than her, yet she was smiling and laughing with girlfriends, as free as the winter winds, while Regina was married and pregnant with a child. She bit her lip at the realization. She missed the childhood she'd never had, that had ended before it had truly begun.

She swore her child would get the childhood she'd never gotten.

"Hey, you okay?" Robin smelled of smoke, whiskey and something earthy. He had been drinking with his men, Regina knew, but it didn't scare her any longer. Robin held a drink better than most of his men and was smart enough to know when he'd had enough. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and placed his hand on her belly, gently stroking even though the baby's kicking would be impossible to feel through the layers of fabric. "I didn't see you for a while." His voice was slightly throaty and so soft that Regina was surprised it was audible at all until she realized that the music had turned into something softer, gentler and quieter. She wondered if Robin had been behind the sudden change in music.  
"Yeah, I'm tired. Mhairi and her friends wanted to teach me how to dance." She chuckled and hoped that Robin hadn't seen her trying - and failing- to pull of the movements that she girls had shown her. Robin laughed softly and scratched his head, his attention turning towards the girls in question. Mhairi had shifted her attention from her group of friends to a tall, skinny boy her age, turning and twirling in some slow ballroom dance that Regina was more familiar with.  
"I finally got out by blaming the baby; said my feet and back hurt." Robin's gaze softened as it ever did at the mention of his child. He cupped her cheek and pressed another kiss to it, before turning his attention towards where he knew their baby rested, peacefully, for now.  
"Don't be too hard on your mommy, baby." He whispered against her belly and Regina let out a soft guffaw. She loved how incredibly sappy and silly her husband could be whenever it concerned their baby. Robin answered her with a dazzling smile and stood up to press another kiss to her lips. "I can give you another massage tonight."

Regina let out a soft moan at the idea of another massage. If Robin's hands on her tired body had been blissful before, now it was nothing but pure pleasure: Robin's hands upon her working the tired muscles while his mouth mumbled words of love against her skin. She closed her eyes and her lips twisted up in a smile as she nodded.  
"Can I use the fact that my hands are positively magical to tempt you into dancing with me, milady?" he gave a bow, but there was something cocky in his grin that made Regina slap his arm playfully. Robin simply cocked his head in reply and stretched his hand for her to take in invitation. Regina only hesitated a second before taking his hand and allowing him to pull her towards him. Robin never let her go again, simply resting one hand on her hip to steady her, while the other took her hand in the perfect epitome of a ballroom dance.  
Regina smirked. "Where did you learn _that_?"  
"I attended many a royal party, milady." Robin said airily, twirling her around in a dance that Regina thought felt familiar, but could not name. "Can't say I enjoyed it, but duties are duties, are they not?" He danced easily, his feet never missing a beat as he twirled them around in slow movements that were easy for her to follow, even if she didn't feel as elegant and quick on her feet as she could be.

His hand was clasped tightly around hers, his thumb continuously trailing circles against her skin as they too turned circles, their feet finding the earth and matching together in a rhythm that required no thinking, no counting of steps or choreographed routines. She allowed his sure movements and her light feet to lead her around the forest floor. As she did, she felt herself return to the girl that dreamt of dancing with the dream of her prince. She had been so young then, unknowing about the harsh truth that laid hidden beneath all the glimmer of the royalty. She'd dance around her room, her little feet pattering on the floor and thumping on the bed as she stomped in the civilian dances or twirled elegantly in the royal ones. Robin caught her glance and gave a grin that made his eyes twinkle like he was a child once again too.

"But admittedly, these dances are quite dull." He told her with a wink, eyes twinkling with mischief, before he turned his attention to something behind her. She heard a laugh behind her in answer before the music turned from the slow, tame music into something completely different: lively and sparkling with singing snares and flutes tuned high and low. It reminded her of the music in the villages that the commoner's would dance to and her feet started to move off their own accord as they, too, remembered. Robin laughed brightly in her ear as he quickened the pace of his feet, following her in the twirls and stomping of feet to the peasant's dance. His hand that had been resting on her lip grasped her other hand as they departed from the elegant ballroom dances into the realm of the peasant dances, where everything was permitted as long as it felt good and brought a smile to one's face. Regina shrieked in surprise when Robin lifted her up easily and set her down ever so gently, barely giving her time to recover as both his hands were suddenly on her hips and he moved from side to side in a move that was both ridiculous and adorable. She couldn't stop herself from laughing and quickly grasped his hands again, pulling him towards her as their feet fell into another rhythm effortlessly. When the well-known song came up about William Baker and his three-legged cow, the forest boomed with voices that blared along with the ridiculous texts. It wasn't long into the song before Regina gave in too and shouted the lyrics with so much verve that it made her blush when she caught Robin's gaze.

She sang and twirled and turned for what seemed like hours, until finally the music subsided and drifted off until only the high tunes of a flute filled the air. Robin led their movements into a soft, slow dance that barely required them to move at all. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he pulled her towards him. As Regina buried her face into the warmth of his chest she realized how tired she was, how the dancing had put a strain on her back and feet. She sagged against him and it was Robin who led their slow shuffling while Regina simply laid against him, feeling the pounding of his heart beneath her ear. It took a while before she registered that the words that Robin whispered in her ear were actually the text to the song that was playing. She felt tired enough to fall asleep against his chest, even standing up, but still brought herself to listen to the words he was singing softly against her skin:

_I'll swim and sail on savage seas  
With never a fear of drowning  
And gladly ride the waves of life  
If you will marry me_

_No scorching sun_  
_Nor freezing cold_  
_Will stop me on my journey_

_If you will promise me your heart_  
_And love me for eternity_

She buried her face in his chest at the words and closed her eyes, allowing his words to lull her away from the world beneath her feet. She was too exhausted to protest when Robin easily scooped her up in his arms and walked her back to their tent. He gently lowered her down to the mattress, slipping the thick coats from her arms until she was in the green dress, before he pulled the covers to op to her chin. A whisper of a kiss was pressed to her forehead and Regina could swear she heard the soft tones of his voice singing to her before she drifted off to sleep:

_And love you for eternity_

* * *

She woke up to the sound of music still filling the air outside her tent. Fests in the Sherwood forest could last until sunset and this one was no different. Regina noticed that Robin was not next to her. Her husband was probably with his men and women, laughing and dancing along with them, the night not tiring him out as it did her. She pulled the covers that had slid slightly from her body back up to cover her and nestled back comfortably, curling herself in a ball around the swell of her stomach. It was comforting somehow, reminding her of the way she'd curl around her plush monkey when she was but a little child. She was about to close her eyes again when she noticed something: a shadow that shouldn't be there, a shadow with no owner. She frowned and pushed herself up from the bed, feeling the way her muscles complained after the ordeal earlier that night. She couldn't see him, but she knew who was haunting her, who would prowl in shadows to watch her. Her own personal devil had returned.

Only this time she wasn't scared of him anymore.

"Show yourself, Rumplestiltskin." She sat up and it was with no surprise that the imp appeared in a puff of green smoke before her. He grinned wickedly as ever, his eyes trailing down her body as his grin morphed into a manic giggle.  
"Well well well, how long have I been gone? You and the thief have certainly been busy, now-"  
"Spare me your teasing, I am tired and you are not welcome here." Regina snapped, laying one hand over the curve of her belly protectively. Even if she was not truly afraid of the imp any longer, his voice still made shivers run up her spine.  
"Why, look who has grown claws!" Rumplestiltskin giggled and stepped closer to the bed. Regina glared at him, but the imp ignored her, his eyes lingering on the swell of her belly a little too long. "Cora would be _so_ happy to hear about her grandchild." He drawled and there must have been a flicker of fear showing in Regina's eyes, because he giggled manically again. "Oh that's still a problem, is it not? Tell me, what if grandma wants to visit her grandchild?"  
"She won't." Answered Regina, her tone clipped and angry.  
"She won't?" Repeated the imp mockingly.

"The king swore that she-" she realized how hollow the words sounded the moment they left her mouth. The king, the weak hearted monarch who was so easily persuaded by her mother's suave tongue the first time. Rumplestiltskin knew too, a manic giggling erupting from behind his hideous teeth.  
"Yes I know about that. She's supposed to stand trial is she not? For what, impersonating the king. Honestly who hasn't?" He snickered at his own joke, before his voice turned into almost a whisper. "But dearie, do you really think Cora will allow herself to be locked up? By the king, no less? If Cora wants to see her grandchild, Cora will see her grandchild." He moved closer, his hand travelling and resting on top of the blankets above her belly. Regina wanted to bat his hand away and sneer at him to never get near her child again, but he was right about her mother and maybe, just maybe, the imp would be able to help her.

"You would do anything to protect this child, would you not?" Said Rumplestiltskin airily. Regina swallowed and clenched her fists.  
"I am not making any deals with you." She finally told him. Rumplestiltskin let out a short giggle again.  
"I don't want to make a deal, dearie." He made a light twirl with his hand, a small item appearing into the palm. Lying there was a small tube of velvet red adorned with gold. Rumplestiltskin took the scroll between two scrubbed fingers and rolled out what turned out to be a small scroll, a language scribbled on it unknown to Regina. He placed the scroll back on his palm and stretched it out to her. "I want to give you a gift."  
Regina eyed the gift warily. "Why?"  
Rumplestiltskin shrugged, yet his eyes twinkled with something that made chills run down Regina's body. "Mutual interest." He waved off her comment, his eyes taking on a glint as he continued. "This … spell is the answer to all your problems. It will take everyone to a different land where Cora will lose her magic and her memories. A land where you and your child can be safe from her, forever." He let the scroll fall into the palm she wasn't aware she'd stretched out. It felt strange in her palm: cold, darkness emanating from it. Her heart faltered nervously at her touch and she felt the baby, who had been quiet for the better part of the night, start stirring in her womb, as if it felt the darkness emanating from the scroll. This was dark magic, Regina realized, yet she could not bring herself to drop the scroll, the scroll that promised her freedom, true freedom, from Cora's grasp. The scroll that would allow her child to grow up without the presence of Cora's wrath looming. Because Rumplestiltskin was right: Cora would not stop, would not be held back by the king's court or any laws he could create.

The imp giggled and closed her hand around the curse. "Think about it, I will know when you decide." He moved closer, stroking the fair skin on her cheeks with fingers as cold as the river's water. "But … tick-tock dearie." He gave a wicked grin before turning around and walking towards the opening of the tent. Regina knew that as soon as he'd step through the canvas doors the imp would be gone, magic taking him somewhere other than the encampment. Magic. The chill emanating from the scroll reminded her of it, reminded her of the way it had once streamed through her own veins, power at her fingertips to fight off her mother. All gone now, back to the helpless little girl. Before she could stop herself she was speaking, softly, helpless, as if ashamed.

"My magic is gone."

The imp turned around and raised both his eyebrows as surprise flickered in his eyes, before he schooled his features into the trademark wicked grin with gleaming eyes. He flicked his hands and a heavy, cold familiar book fell onto Regina's lap with a thud. The imp didn't speak another word and only left behind the sickening smell of dark magic as he left the tent.

* * *

She hadn't mourned her magic when it had disappeared. Of course she'd considered how helpless she'd be in a confrontation with her mother without that magic to protect her, but she'd foolishly figured that the king's judgment would truly befall Cora. It was only now, with the book full of power on her lap, that she felt the inexplicable pull the darkness had on her. It, like the scroll, promised freedom and safety. She wasn't brave enough to open the book, however, because she remembered what it had felt like the first time, remembered the cold and the rage. She also remembered the power and wondered if perhaps it was worth it to lose herself to protect her child. She stared intently at the book on her lip, her fingers clutching it until they were numb with the cold streaming over them. She bit her lip and tried to pull herself from the book with thoughts of her mother's madness, but could only think of the child that she hadn't been able to protect, of how magic would give her that power.

A palm slammed down on the book and Regina flew up from the bed, her eyes flicking up straight into Robin's piercing blue eyes. She had seen them so often, stared into those blue depths in the gleaming of the early sunlight or the soft glow of stars, but she had never seen them like this. He had never looked angry before, not when looking at her like this. His jaw was set, teeth gritted as his lip curled up in disgust at the sight of the book.

"Regina, what are you doing?" His voice was calm, yet everything about him was rigid, as if he was barely containing himself. Regina balled her fist around the scroll Robin had given her and suddenly she was afraid for him to see. She contemplated slipping the scroll away quietly, but Robin caught her hand the moment she tried to move it away. She couldn't complete with his hunter's senses, something she should have known. He opened her palm and pried the scroll from her fingers, rolling it out and reading the words unknown to him. "What is this?" His voice was softer now, but still strained, still anger hidden behind it.

"It's a spell." Regina surprised herself when she found her voice again. "It will keep our child safe."  
Robin frowned, but after a few seconds understanding crossed his face and the anger seeped away from his eyes. He took the book from her lap and Regina thought he'd throw it away, but the placed it on the bedside table without batting another eye at it.  
"From your mother." He concluded, taking her hands and rubbing her numb fingers between his own. When the rubbing didn't seem enough, the brought them up to his mouth and breathed warmth against them, much like she'd seen him so with Roland after a particularly cold day. Regina nodded and met Robin's eyes. She sighed and shook her head.

"My magic's gone, Robin. I can't protect this baby and my mother-"  
Robin cut her off. "Regina, I already promised I wouldn't let harm come to this baby." He brought up both hands to cup her cheeks, forcing fearful brown to meet determined blue. "If your magic gone it's gone for a reason. Perhaps it's the baby, perhaps it's something else, but magic is not without a price, Regina." One hand found its way down to her stomach, his palm resting above where her baby was safely sheltered. "I do not want our baby to pay the price."  
Regina let out a soft sob and Robin quickly gathered her inside his arms. She eyed the book full of danger and safety on her nightstand and suddenly she couldn't tell who she was more terrified of: her mother or the woman she herself could become. "I don't want to need the magic." She whispered throatily. "I don't- … - The imp…"  
"Shh." Robin rubbed her back and shook his head. "You don't need the magic. I don't care what the imp says, I don't care what Cora's going to do. I'm going to keep you and our baby safe without it. Okay?"  
Regina sniffled, but managed a smile. "Okay."

Robin smiled and stood up from the bed, stretching out his hand to her in a silent request. When he pulled her from the bed, the took the book from the nightstand and handed it to her, before taking her free hand and leading her away from the tent, straight towards the festive pyre that was still burning, lighting up the cold night sky. Regina shivered at the night cold, but she understood what Robin wanted and somehow she knew she needed to be the one who did it.

She stood staring at the fires for a long while. The encampment, the music and the dancing falling away as she remembered the way magic had ruined her mother. She remembered the lashes of magic that Cora had whipped at her with striking precision and the force of magic waves when the magic had been stronger than Cora herself. She remembered the madness in Rumplestiltskin eyes and the ever-present void in her mother's, nothing left in them but magic. She remembered the smell of magic, the cold as it ran through her veins. She remembered her tiny, tiny little boy who should have gotten so much more days than he had been given.  
She remembered and suddenly the book was falling from her hands, landing into the flames that consumed it as if it were nothing but a log of wood. She'd expected magic, expected green and purples flames to rise up and fill the air with the pungent smile of magic, but it didn't. The book burned as anything else, nothing giving away the darkness that had laid inside those pages. The scroll smoldered to ashes equally as silent, so quickly that it was almost a ridiculous notion how much promise it had held. Now it was gone. All gone. Her magic, the spell book and the one spell to save her.

"Thank you." Robin whispered, his arms coming around her. He didn't speak another word, both of them watching the smoldering remains of the spell book as the fires consumed it. Regina sighed and leant back against him. As she closed her eyes and allowed his warmth to surround her she was reminded of the first lesson she had been told about magic: True love is magic.

And maybe, just maybe, it would be enough.

* * *

**Lyrics for the song totally stolen for How To Train Your Dragon, because I think they're adorable. This chapter is a bit of a mess, but I hope you like it =)**


	24. Chapter 24

Winter fell away the same way it came: quietly and without a fuss. The snow had stopped falling down and hesitant rays of sunshine dared to shimmer through the thin, young canopy. The young leaves, not gold yet, but a striking yellow, bathed the Sherwood forest in a yellow so bright that it was almost unnatural. Winter dragged its feet in its leave, a chill still in the air at night, but spring was definitely catching up and would win the battle of the season's as it ever did.

Her baby would be a spring baby. The birthing lady had told her that she guessed it would be around two moons until the baby would enter the world. She had also said that babies are about as predictable as the weather: you can estimate all you like, but clouds can carry rain or snow or sometimes fade away without bringing either. The woman had given a laugh and a reassuring pat on Regina's back afterwards, but the uncertainty yet inevitability of the arrival of her baby was starting to make her nervous. She rubbed her hand over her belly, a movement that had become something of a habit to her, a reflex even. The baby was active now, no longer only kicking when Robin rubbed her belly, but kicking and turning in her stomach rather often. It was an odd sensation, yet comforting; an affirmation of the life growing inside her. It did not make eating much easier, however. The broth in her hands was warm, steaming and thick with enough nutrients to keep both her and the baby well-fed for the most part of the day, yet Regina could not bring herself to spoon the substance down. She'd been kept awake by a rather nasty heartburn for the better part of the night and feared that the rather meaty broth would bring it back again.

She could feel Robin's eyes upon her, watching if she'd eat her breakfast. Robin had been almost overbearingly concerned about her ever since she'd told him about the pregnancy and only got progressively more so as her pregnancy neared it's inevitable conclusion. She knew when he was beside her, his hand finding her lower back and rubbing soothingly. Regina sighed softly at the pleasant feeling, her back had been aching to the point that she'd gotten used it, but the short reprieve was highly welcomed. She grasped a thick bread and took a bite of the grainy bread, finding that her mouth started to water at the smell and her body hummed in satisfaction as she swallowed the freshly baked bread. As her appetite rose it quickly took over from the fear of another heartburn and she ate the bread and broth with vigor. She heard Robin's soft chuckle beside her, but ignored him as she cleaned the remains of the broth from the bowl with a piece of bread. When she'd finally finished breaking fast she turned to Robin, who was smirking in something of amusement, yet he didn't speak.  
"Good morning." He told her with a cheeky grin and Regina laughed softly in reply as she allowed herself to lean towards him. Robin's left hand that had been rubbing her back moved to her stomach, feeling their baby move around actively. When he pressed a kiss to her hair, she could practically feel the smile that probably stretched from ear to ear. "She's enthusiastic today."  
"She?" Regina raised an eyebrow and Robin shrugged in reply.  
"Seems wrong calling my child an it" Robin clarified and Regina smiled, her heart fluttering up at his words, at the idea that her child would have a father like Robin, a father who was already considerate about her baby before it was even born. She brought her hand up to rest over his, feeling the kicks and jabs of their baby beneath her skin.

"So you think it's a girl?" Regina had given it a thought, of course, but afterwards had also concluded that she really had no idea whether their baby would be a boy or a girl. She could see them both right in front of her, her future just within reach. She dreamt about them; about the girl with the flowing brown hair and bright green eyes and the boy with the almond-colored eyes and plucky black hair. Both would have dimples and would play with Roland in giggles and run around with little feet, pattering through camp and feeding squirrels when they weren't allowed to. She knew about artifacts that were able to tell the gender of the baby before it was born, but she found that she didn't care that much about it, that as long as her baby would live and be safe, she didn't care about the gender. Still, she was curious about Robin's comment about their child being a girl. Robin shrugged in reply to her question.  
"I don't know, milady. I dream of her: a girl with hair as dark and beautiful as yours, actually she looks so much like you it's scary, but she has my eyes and she's just breathtakingly beautiful." His voice was a hushed whisper, awe in it for a child that he had not seen yet outside his dreams.  
"She's not yet born and I'm already in love with her." Robin laughed, a throaty sound as emotion seeped into his voice, twisting it into something that made Regina's heart jump and pound in a way only he could. She closed her eyes as she imagined Robin's little girl. Different from the one in her dreams, yet so very much the same. Just as beautiful, just as loved.  
"I also dream about a boy." She said with a soft smirk, raising one eyebrow and pursing her lips as if proving some point. "So I wouldn't paint the tent pink yet."  
"Hmm, we still got some time I think." Robin pressed another kiss to her hair and brought both hands around her in a soft embrace, both hands resting on her stomach. He sat behind her, palms resting on her stomach and head tucked against her neck for a long time, feeling the movements of their child beneath his fingers.

Regina winched when the baby suddenly stopped it's restless movements and gave a sharp kick in in the direction of her ribs. Robin pulled back immediately, moving one hand to where he'd felt the sharp kick and rubbing it soothingly. "Careful in there baby, you're hurting your mommy." He mumbled.  
Regina's heart swelled at the words, breath leaving her quickly as if the baby had placed well-aimed kick in their direction, yet it was something else that made the breath leave her this time. She imagined the little child in her arms, that would grow up to call her 'mommy' one day too and a mother she would be, she'd be the mother her child deserved and not like the one she'd gotten herself. She smiled at Robin's soft words and leant back against him. "She …" She shook her head and pursed her lips, raising one eyebrow. "_He_'s been pretty active lately. Especially when I'm trying to sleep."  
Robin chuckled softly, but moved his hands to her back to start his soothing rubbing again. "Already sleepless nights, milady? I fear we should both get used to that."  
Regina turned to face Robin and cocked her head. "How was Roland?" She asked. "As a baby?"  
"Oh he was wonderful. Very cheerful and much like he is now very active. Especially at night." He chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling in that way that made Regina's heart jump. She could clearly see the fondness in his eyes as he remembered, even if the memories came paired with sleepiness nights and tiresome days. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and his hands found her hair; thicker now than it had been before, the pregnancy changing more about her body than just the curve of her stomach or the swell of her breasts. Regina did not believe him when he told her, but he truly thought she had never looked more beautiful.

"Do you have a lot of plans for today?" Robin asked her gently. He knew that last night had been harsh on her and was concerned about her more often than not. Regina smiled softly, aware that Robin's question was a silent plea for her not to exert herself. She shook her head.  
"I was going to go to see how Rocinante's leg is doing." She answered. The horse was as least as old as she was and the age was starting to wear on the animal's body. The mare had been limping since a week ago and since Regina was the only one with any knowledge of horses in the encampment, it was left to her to treat the animal. She didn't mind; she loved Robin and the men and women of the encampment were dear to her heart, but it was often crowded. The time treating Rocinante's leg with only River and her unborn child to accompany her had become a blissful reprieve from the busy encampment.  
A flicker that Regina was accustomed to flickered in Robin's eyes, yet he didn't speak. He knew she loved horses and they seemed to love her back, but he still mistrusted them as he did any animal. Regina knew he didn't like her being around an animal in her condition, no matter how tame, but she had decided to ignore his unvoiced yet apparent protests. Being around the horses like she used to not even a year ago was at times the only thing that made her feel normal.  
As ever, Robin voiced no protests and nodded silently. "So be it, just be careful."  
"You too, Robin." She answered him. Robin had been hunting in the Sherwood forest for years, but sometimes Regina still feared that one day the forest would have him pay the price for everything he'd taken from the forest. She didn't tell him, though, knowing that she'd have to live with that anxiety as he had to live with his. Robin never told her, but she knew his hunting trips were as much a reprieve from his duties as her time with the horses was for her.

"Robin, are you coming? The sun's good." A slender woman Regina had come to known as Ava stood in front of them. She was clad in the typical hunter's tunic with a bow slung over her shoulder and daggers fastened to a belt around her waist. Her chestnut hair was braided back and matched her striking eyes. She gave a nod of her head towards Regina in acknowledgement. "Your majesty."  
Regina smiled back and patted Robin's arm. "Good luck."  
"He'll need it, is there such a thing as daddy brain or are you just growing old?" Ava turned to Robin with a teasing grin, the one that reminded Regina that Robin had history with many members of his tribe that she couldn't even begin to imagine. Robin let out a chuckle and stood up from where he'd been sitting.  
"Don't listen to Ava, she's just mad because I stole her kill yesterday." Robin said with a cocky grin as he pressed a final kiss to Regina's head. He headed away, but seemingly reconsidered only two steps away from her and quickly strode back to her. "I love you." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to her mouth, before slinging his bow over his shoulder and heading towards the forest, towards the hunt.

* * *

River came running towards the fence with the spirit of a young filly when she'd spotted Regina walking towards the paddock. Regina marveled once again at the beauty of the place where the horses were housed: a grassy patch adorned with flowers in white and yellow stretched out before her, giving the horses ample space to run and play at their heart's desire. A small arm of the forest's river meandered through the grass and golden trees with black bark grew scattered through the paddock.

Rocinatne followed up on River, trotting towards Regina at a much slower pace than the younger horse. Though the horse moved easier than she had a few days ago, Regina could still tell the mare was avoiding pressuring the leg that had been bothering her. She opened the fence and was immediately greeted by River, who sniffled at the dress for sweets or carrots. She gave the horse a pat on the neck, but her attention was focused on Rocinatne.  
"Hey sweetheart." She pressed a soft kiss to Rocinante's nose when the animal reached her. The mare let out a soft snort and nudged Regina's arm with her nose, warm breath against her skin. She moved her hands over the horse's warm body, feeling the soft hair beneath her fingers. Finally she reached the mare's legs and unwrapped the now dirty bandaging from the animal's leg. She sighed as she felt the swelling of the leg, less thick now, but warmth still emanating from it. "Oh poor girl, what did you do?" She mumbled let out a sigh. It pained her to see the mare, her childhood friend, in pain. Even though she'd grown up around horses, she felt rather helpless about treating Rocinatne. Yet she did the best she could. She washed and wrung out the bandaging and procured a pot of salve from her bag. She had asked the medicine woman to procure a salve for her to help with muscle pains. She had used some of the salve herself, with pleasant results, but had made sure to save some for the mare as well. The salve smelled of a combination of spicy and fresh and burned when applied, but Regina knew it would help immensely. Careful for any sudden movements that the mare could make, she applied a thick layer of the salve on the swollen leg and wrapped the bandage around it to cover. Rocinatne proved to be a gentle, trustworthy horse as she stood and waited patiently until Regina finished wrapping up her leg.  
"Good girl." Regina praised, patting the mare on the neck and procuring a carrot, which she broke in two parts: one for River and one for Rocinatne. She smiled as the two horses nudged her lightly, begging for more treats, but didn't give in to their pleads. When River pressed her nose to her stomach curiously, the baby gave a strong kick that made Regina gasp and laugh at once.  
"You like them, baby?" She murmured. Robin probably wouldn't like it, but she hoped that she'd one day teach her child how to ride a horse. The image of her little boy or girl sitting on Rocinante's back as she once had a long time ago warmed her heart. She stroked her belly and felt the baby move again. "When you're big you can be friends with them." She smiled to herself at the thought and walked towards the small stream of the river, sitting down on a light slope and resting her tired feet in the river. Rocinatne followed her on a light trot and started grazing not far away from her.

Regina remembered how she'd sit in the paddock as a little girl, stringing together daffodils in a lovely chain while Rocinatne watched over her. So similar she was seated now, yet so changed, because all those years ago she'd been just a girl, now she was a woman and a wife. Years ago she'd been a daughter, now she was to be a mother. A part of her wondered how she ended up here. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the quiet, the only sounds the trickling of the river and Rocinante's breathing. She barely got time to slip away from the world, however, before a shrill neigh broke the silence and Regina's eyes flew open again.

Rocinatne looked nothing like the calm, lovely mare that Regina had petted and cuddled with earlier: she stood rigid, every muscle in her body tense as she gazed at something outside Regina's purview. Her ears were blown back, eyes wide and head held up high in a combination of fear and aggression. Regina instinctively knew that there was only one person that had ever brought such a strong reaction from her horse and her heart sank. Another neigh broke the silence; River stood not far away from them in a pose that resembled Rocinante's. Regina closed her eyes and gathered her courage, just for a second, before turning to where the horses were gazing at. What she saw didn't surprise her in the least, because there, standing in the paddock, was Cora.

To the untrained eye Cora would probably look the same as she'd ever looked: clothed in a beautiful dress of purple and gold, hair in an elaborate up do and jewels shining around her neck and wrists. Her stature was royal as it had always been, her jaw set and lips pursed in an expression of permanent disdain. To the untrained eye she'd look the same as ever indeed, as if the events of the past half year hadn't worn away at her at all. But Regina's eyes was not an untrained one. The events had definitely worn away at her mother: the posture that had always seemed to natural to her mother was now somewhat forced, as if it was no longer Cora holding up the posture, but the posture holding up Cora herself. Her smile was as sharp and smart as ever, but had lost its ease, as if it was but a mere shadow of what had once rested there. The dress was beautiful but creased, the hair pale and the powers on her face couldn't hide the bags under her eyes. What struck Regina, however, was the glint in her eye. Cora had always hungered for power and it had always shone in those eyes, but never had there been anything like what shone in them now: desperation, madness, even. Regina knew Cora had lost her heart a long time ago, but it was now she begun to wonder if perhaps her mother had finally lost her mind too.

"Mother." Regina forced her voice into a toneless sound. She stood up and walked past the horses towards the shadow of the woman that had once been her mother. The closer she got the more she realized that the past months had been as hard on her mother as they had been easy upon her. Yet there was no guilt, never guilt, never for the woman who had taken away that precious little life from her before it had even started. "How did you get out?" she asked, ignoring her mother's gaze upon her stomach and forcing herself not to wrap her arms around her belly protectively. The baby had gone deathly quiet, as if it felt the tension in the air.  
Cora laughed, a broken sound, a sound that spoke of madness. "Did you really think the king could keep me contained forever dear? Oh he stretched out the trial, made me wait for months in that awful dungeon without my magic, but he couldn't put it off forever." She gave a smug smile. "When the trail came it was easy: a few threats here, a little help from Rumple there and … well here I am." She stepped closer towards Regina, one hand already stretched out towards her daughter's stomach, but Regina stepped back immediately, keeping the distance between them. She straightened her back and clenched her fists by her side. In anger, in fear.

"Leave, mother, while you can." She commanded with the voice of the queen, not of Regina. "Before I call Robin." She added on a sharp note.  
"Robin?" Cora laughed again and the sound made shivers run down Regina's body. It was a laugh of madness, of desperation, a laugh from a woman who had nothing to laugh about and thus laughed about everything instead. "He is not here. It's just you and me and that bastard child you carry." She stepped closer and disappeared in purple smoke, appearing right in front of her daughter with another puff, standing so close to Regina that it made her breath leave her lungs in fear. She tried to step away as he had before, but felt the familiar restraint of magic upon her. It made her want to cry, to scream, but the magic muffled every sound she made. Once again she was the helpless little girl, but this time another life would suffer with her, and that made it infinitely worse.

Cora's narrowed her eyes as her lip curled up in distaste as she took in the sight of Regina's swollen belly.  
"This could have been the king's child. You could have been a _real_ queen and your child could be a king." She snorted and her eyes shimmered with tears. Regina had never seen her mother cry, which made one tear streaming down her mother's face even more terrifying. "Instead it's this wicked child." Cora's gaze turned towards her body, resting on the bump. As she stared Regina saw her mother's eyes harden, saw how her jaw set and her fists clenched. "This savage bastardly child." Her whole body trembled and when Regina met her eyes there was hate shining in those brown depths. Hate for the child had wasn't even born yet, her grandchild, just because its father was Robin instead of the king. Regina's heart nearly halted completely as she saw something shimmering in Cora's palm: a knife. She wanted to run, to scream, but could make no moves in Cora's magic grasp.

_No. _tears streamed from her eyes as she begged to whomever would listen.  
_No please not again._

She got only a second to send out prayers to the forgotten gods, before Cora lifted both her hands and brought them towards her body, the metal flashing through the air as Regina let out a sob and closed her eyes, waiting for the searing pain as her child was once again taken from her. It never came: the warmth spreading to her abdomen was not that of blood and the shriek that filled the air did not belong to her at all.

She opened her eyes and found Cora hanging ten feet above the ground: held up by some grotesque creature that seemed to be some kind of tree called to life. It's thick branches were wrapped around Cora's body, ripping the dress apart as if it was never there and leaving angry red gashes on the skin it revealed. Regina whizzed around when she heard a creaking behind her, only to find the trees lifting themselves from the ground, branches that had been asleep for hundreds of tears coming back to life. The ground shook underneath her feet and thousands of fresh yellow leaves were flying through the air, as if a hurricane had carried them away. She turned around again and struggled to keep standing with the shaking of the ground as she watched her mother being thrown around like a ragdoll by the treelike creatures. The baby in her stomach kicked with such ferocity that it made Regina double over, the warmth in her abdomen heating up until it was positively scorching, as if a fire was burning inside her womb. She shrieked and closed her eyes, pressing her hands against her ears, but it did little to block out the angry creaking of the forest or the screaming of her mother. The baby kicked and twisted wildly and she sunk to her knees as she waited for it to be over.

* * *

And suddenly it was. The baby stopped it's frantic kicking, the fire that had burned inside her disappearing and leaving no pain or warmth behind. The creaking of the woods was no longer audible and neither were Cora's screams. It was deathly silent, safe for the wind rustling golden leaves as it ever had. Regina carefully opened her eyes and found the tree that had held her mother in a monstrous grasp in front of her. Alive no longer; no longer the monstrous creature it had been before, but just a tree now. Around her stood the same trees, black branches stretched above and around her as if they had been shielding her. They were bare, no leaves left on those branches, but the meadow was covered in a golden layer of leaves. Cora was nowhere to be seen, but the raffles of her dress hung in the branches of several trees, the purple fabric weaving in the wind.  
Regina lifted herself to her feet and placed one hand on her abdomen. The baby was quiet now, but she could still feel how wildly it had been kicking earlier. She rubbed her belly softly and finally felt a soft kick against her hand. She let out a sigh in relief that the baby was all right, her head still whizzing and pounding with what had happened. She turned around and moved past the trees, towards the stream, but froze at the sight before her. Because laying there, spread out in the river with the water barely covering her bruised and battered body, was Cora.

Regina had seen death, had seen it far too often at her mother's hand. She had seen Daniel's empty gaze staring up at her, she had seen the lifeless bodies of the maidservants that had been a disappointment, the bodies of the stragglers and beggars who dared to ask for shelter. She'd even seen the body of her own grandfather, dead at Cora's hand. She had seen enough dead in her life and had cried for every single one of them. Yet she did not cry for Cora.

As she walked towards the river she took in the sight of her mother: smaller now that the power was drained from her, less imposing without her head held high and magic in her palm. Her hair had come loose, the only thing moving beside her deathly silent posture. The beautiful purple dress was ripped and bloodied, cuts and scrapes on every part of her body that was bared to Regina. Her red lips that would purse in disappointment were opened in a silent scream, her eyes that would narrow blasted wide open in a deathly gaze towards the skies. Her body and limbs were laid at unnatural angles, her neck snapped back, nothing was left of the graceful, empowered woman that had once housed inside that same body. It was not Cora anymore, laying there spread out in the river, yet Regina thought it was the very first time her mother had looked human.

She kicked off her shoes calmly and walked towards the river. Her mother was lighter than she'd expected, her body more frail than she had seemed in life. While an odd calm washed over her, she took her mother's body from the river and dragged it to shore. Regina laid her mother's body out on the golden leaves, covering her bruised body the best she could with the pieces of the dress that still clung around her body. With careful but sure movement she cleaned the blood from her mother's body, closed her eyes and mouth as if she were a child had was put to bed. She folded her mother's broken arms on her chest, hands resting over where her heart would have been, if she hadn't ripped it out years before. Lying there in the meadow surrounded by the gold of the Sherwood Forest, for the first time in her life, Cora looked truly peaceful. Regina hoped her mother would find the peace in death she hadn't found in life. She stroked her mother's hair back and took in the sight of her mother's face; younger now, almost innocent.

"I am sorry, mother." She didn't cry, her voice was not full of tears and emotion as it had been when Daniel or her child had been taken from her. It was flat, plain, because she wasn't sorry, not truly. She wasn't sorry about the wrath of the Sherwood forest had had been called down upon her, not sorry that her child's life had been saved at the cost of her mother's and she would never be sorry for loving Robin. The one thing she was sorry about was that her mother never had gotten someone to hold back the darkness, that her mother had fallen in love it and had allowed it to drag her down, eventually to her death. Regina pressed a kiss to her mother's forehead, lingering there for only a second before she pulled back and turned her back towards the body that had once been Cora's.

When she reached the tree that had swung Cora around like a ragdoll, she sat down in front of it and leant her back against the thick, black trunk. Her hands trailed down her stomach again, feeling the soft moving of her child beneath her fingers starting up again. She watched the wind blow away the golden leaves around her mother's body.

She watched as the forest returned to peace after, for the first time in centuries, it had been called to life again.

* * *

**Poor Cora! No? Okay.  
please review :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Some smut in this chapter. Hope you like it. (The chapter, not the smut.) (well also the smut).**

* * *

The sunlight caressed Cora's features, her pale skin shining as it took in the last sunlight it would ever see. It was a strange sight, wrong almost, to see Cora who despised the forest and all its traditions so lying on the funeral pyre. Robin had spent the afternoon building it. Not for Cora, but for Regina, who had pleaded him to give her mother a proper funeral. The others had wanted no part in it, hadn't even wanted the woman that had caused so much misery to be cremated in the camp. So Robin had carried the body of the woman he despised more than anything to a clearing away from the camp, had chopped down tree after tree and had buried the funeral pyre for Cora, as was the tradition in the Sherwood Forest. One medicine woman in camp had answered Regina's pleadings and granted the ointments that were used in traditional burials, had taught Regina how to prepare her mother's body for the cremation. Yet she had refused to do it herself, saying that it would not be proper to clothe someone for heaven who she believed was meant for hell. Regina hadn't known what to answer to that, had simply accepted the help and prepared her mother's body the best she could.

She had been oddly calm during the process: combing her mother's hair until it flowed over her shoulders as hers did. She hadn't seen it that way since she'd been a little girl. It made her mother look younger somehow, reminded Regina that one day she'd been an innocent little girl as anyone else. She figured it should have felt weird to strip the tattered clothing that had once been a dress from her mother's body, but it hadn't. She had clothed her mother in a dress that didn't fit her; white, light and slightly too big for her figure, frail now in death. She hadn't shed one tear for her mother, she couldn't, but she was determined to send of her mother with respect. Perhaps not respect that her mother deserved, but the respect she somehow owed it to herself to give. Robin didn't agree, she knew, but this wasn't for Robin, wasn't for Cora: she needed to do this for herself.

The funeral pyre was ready to be lit: the branches Robin had stacked up expertly already soaked with the fragrant, flammable oil that would make the pyre go up in flames quickly. Cora laid underneath a light blanket soaked in oils that smelled like the wildflowers of the forest. Robin hovered behind her, his arms crossed over his chest as he stayed away from her. Perhaps he understood that this was something his wife needed to do without him. Perhaps he wanted no part of the cremation of a woman such as Cora in his forest.

"Regina dear?" The voice was unmistakable, but so foreign in her ears that it took her a few seconds to figure out who it belonged to. Perhaps it was because he had never said much to her that had mattered, perhaps the memory of her mother's threatening words had driven out his soft words, but it took her a few seconds to recognize the voice that belonged to her father.  
"Regina."  
She realized that she hadn't replied to his voice, hadn't even turned around to face him yet. She took one last gaze at the funeral pyre, which had an almost morbid appeal, and turned to face her father for the first time in almost a year. Henry looked the same he ever did: frail and older than his years told him to be. He struggled to walk through the uneven ground of the forest floor, looking almost comical next to the ranger that moved so effortlessly and easily next to him. Regina gave a soft nod towards the ranger in thanks and gave a smile towards her father. The ranger disappeared as suddenly as he came, but not before he'd cast a glance at Cora lying on the funeral pyre. Regina didn't bother to gauge his reaction, simply walking to her father and feeling his arms wrap around her. Still feeble, but warm and strong enough to bring her back to times that her father could shelter her against the world.  
"Daddy." She breathed out. She smelled the familiar scent that used to hang in her childhood home: the scent of perfumes that were just too fruity and flowery, of wood that was not really wood and the faint smell of the strange that many a man in the city liked to smoke. It was not a pleasant smile, but it brought a small smile to her lips anyway.  
"It's so good to see you again." Henry pulled back, his hands resting on his daughter's shoulders as he took her in. Still his little girl somewhere, but so far gone from those times too. His eyes rested on the curve of her stomach. He didn't look surprised, which filled Regina with a combination of anger and relief. She wasn't sure she could deal with her father finding out about the pregnancy at this time, but Cora had told him about the baby and she wasn't sure what she taught about that. She wondered what her mother had said, but quickly decided she didn't really want to know.

"A lot has changed since I last saw you." Henry said, his voice so soft that it was easy to miss. Still Regina heard it well enough to hear the regret and grief that hid beneath his smile, laced in with the words that felt so trivial, yet so important. Because it had been near a year since that day, that day that Cora had dragged her daughter from the safety of home while Henry had watched his wife drag his daughter away to what neither assumed to be happiness. His daughter had found happiness, he knew that, saw it shining on her face as she glowed even when the occasion was not one laced in sadness, but it wasn't thanks to him, never thanks to him.  
Regina smiled again, taking his hand and softly tracing the tips of her fingers over the old hands that she had known so well, once. He was still wearing his wedding ring; a heavy, jeweled thing that looked like it would put an unbearable strain on the finger. Regina wondered if he'd take it off after the ceremony.  
"A lot has." She finally answered and her father let out soft chuckle, the sadness still rimming his eyes. He stared at his daughter for a long while, the silence between them broken only by the occasional cry of a bird. Finally something broke in her father as he grasped her hands tightly, almost painfully and stared into his daughter's eyes with more conviction than Regina had seen in those eyes for years.  
"I'm sorry, Regina." He told her, his lip quaking as finally, finally the resolve that Henry had put on his heart a long while ago broke. Cora was gone and the last piece of his heart, the part she'd taken and locked away, was returned to him and he couldn't hold it back anymore, the emotions he had forced back for years because of his wife. "I am so sorry." His voice shook and dropped down to a whisper as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Regina didn't soothe her father. Didn't tell him that it was all right or that there was nothing to apologies for, because her father's apathy in the face of her agony had not been all right and her father had enough to apologize for. She simply stood and held her father's hand as she watched apologies stream from his mouth like tears from his eyes. She had never cared for apologies, but allowed her father to continue anyway. Apologies, after all, were not so much sent for the receiver as for the sender. When finally her father's apologies quieted down, Regina took his hand and turned towards the pyre that was still waiting to be lit.  
"Do you want to say goodbye?" She asked softly. Her father shook his head and offered her no further explanation.

Regina turned to Robin and nodded softly, prompting the archer to light a torch and walk towards them. She saw her father eye Robin as he moved past them and only gaze a curt nod to Henry in reply. Regina knew Robin had little respect for her father, as he had for anyone who would just stand by one was begging for help in front of them, but he didn't speak about it. Robin brought the torch to the pyre and as the flames touched the dry, oily wood of the funeral pyre it blazed up in flames, the hot red and yellow tongues climbing up the logs quickly. She felt her father's hand clench tightly around hers when the flames touched Cora's body, a sickening smell that was not in the least improved by the oils filling the air. The baby inside her woke and stirred softly. Regina placed her hand on her stomach without a thought, her eyes oddly mesmerized with the way the flames consumed wood and body as if it were one thing.

It was Regina who finally broke the silence between them. The flames were dying out now, Cora's body no longer visible as it was slowly but surely burning into ashes. She kept her eyes on the pyre, on the flickering of the flames as she asked the question that had lingered in her mind ever since she grew old enough to see the truth about her parents: "Did you love her?"  
Henry stared at the funeral pyre for a long while, his body unmoving and his gaze on the flames. When he finally answered it was with a slow nod, as if the movement himself was a burden upon his frail body. "I did, once." He answered on a soft voice, almost a whisper. He sighed, a deep sigh that ran through his entire body. "But I loved a girl with a stolen gown and straw in her hair." Regina knew the stories of how her mother met her father, how she impressed the royals and was granted Henry's hand in marriage in return. Her parents hadn't told her, but the story of the miller's daughter who rose to be a princess was quite a tale in amongst the commoners, so she had picked up quite a bit.  
Henry shook his head slowly. "I never saw that girl again."

Regina didn't answer and Henry didn't follow up on his story. Many words hung unspoken between them, but it were words that should have been spoken a long time ago, that had no place in a world without Cora anymore, so they stayed silent. They stayed silent until the flames had consumed the wood and Cora's body both and nothing was left of either but ashes, still simmering on the forest earth. She saw Robin, who had kept his distance during the whole ceremony, walk past her with a small, stone urn. She watched as Robin scooped up the ashes with the jar, filling it with the only earthly remainders of what had once been her mother. When he waked past her, he stopped to press a soft kiss to her forehead.  
"You okay?"  
She nodded in reply. "Yeah."  
Robin answered with a soft smile and a nod towards Henry, before he walked off with the urn to cast the ashes away from the world. Regina wondered if he'd cast them into the valley of the gods, or if he didn't want to cast something once so dark into a place so full of light. She hadn't asked, she wouldn't ask.

"He's a good man, isn't he?" Henry broke the silence, his eyes following Robin as he disappeared into the depths of the Sherwood forest. Regina smiled softly and nodded.  
"He is. A very good man."  
"Do you love him?" Henry turned toward her, taking both his daughter's hands in his own, his eyes filled with both fear and hope. He couldn't bear the idea of his daughter carrying the child of a man she bore no love for.  
Regina smiled again and squeezed her father's hands. "I do. Very much."

Henry sighed in relief at her reply and a smile lit up his face. "I'm glad you do, Regina. The thought-"  
"Shhh." Regina shook her head. She wanted not to hear apologies or fears about what could have been. Instead she moved her father's hand towards her belly.  
Henry stilled when his hands felt the curve of her stomach beneath which his grandchild laid hidden; safe and warm. Regina held his hand against her stomach as she moved his hand gently in hopes of waking up the baby. When finally the baby stirred and gave a firm kick towards Henry's hands, she saw the tears sprung to her father's eyes.  
"Regina …" He spoke her name on a single breath, his other hand coming up to cup his daughter's cheek. She was still so young, still his little girl and now she was to become a mother herself. He had known, but seeing it was something different than hearing the stories. Words left him, because there was so much to say but no words to voice them with.  
"No." Regina told him softly, wiping away her father's tears. "Don't."  
Henry gave a smile and nodded in understanding, because she was his little girl no longer. He stepped forward and took his daughter into his arms again, hugging her tightly, holding her for what seemed like an eternity, yet felt far too short too.

He only let her go when Robin neared them. He surprised the forest lord by bowing deeply to him, before walking up to him and taking both Robin's strong hands in his frail ones.  
"Thank you, Robin, for being good to my daughter, for giving her the happiness she deserves."  
Robin raised his eyebrows in surprise for a second, but quickly schooled his face back into a look of calm afterwards. "It's like you said, sir, it's what she deserves." A small tension was laid in the words, Regina knew, but she made no mention of it. Robin's eyes met hers for a second and his gaze softened, a smile playing around his lips when he turned towards her father again.  
"Your daughter is truly a wonderful woman, sir Henry. I hope you will allow me to continue to love her for the rest of her days."

He was asking her father's permission, Regina realized and warmth flowed through her at the notion. She knew that Robin probably didn't care that much about whether her father approved of their marriage or not, yet he asked; Robin, the lord of the Sherwood forest asked a frail old man permission to love the woman that he had already long since taken for a wife. She laughed softly at the realization, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as love presented itself as fresh as the day it had first been born. Her baby seemed to sense the fluttering inside of her, stirring inside of her as if it danced with the butterflies in her tummy.

Her father smiled at Robin's words. "I wouldn't think of doing otherwise, Robin." Henry turned towards his daughter, a smile on his face and rue in his eyes. "If she is happy here, this is where she should be." He gave another slight bow to Robin and walked towards his daughter. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his hands braced on her shoulders. "Goodbye darling."  
Regina took her father into a warm hug, feeling his arms wrap around her and pull her as closely as her tummy would allow them to. "Goodbye daddy." She whispered.

The ranger escorted her father away from the camp only a short while later. Robin had assured her that Henry would be able to visit whenever he wished to, but Regina knew it might be a while before she would see her father again. Her father was not made for the forest, for the long ride on horseback and the trudge through muddy paths to reach the encampment. Perhaps he would visit her after the arrival of his grandchild, but no earlier.

Robin wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her neck as she watched her father disappear from sight. She felt tears sting in her ears at the sight of him, tears both for him and tears for her mother that she hadn't shed yet, because in a sense she'd said goodbye to both her parents in one day and despite everything, it weighed upon her heart. She sighed and took Robin's hand in hers, anchoring herself to her new life while her old one dissipated from her. The new life inside her stirred and she leant back towards Robin, closing her eyes and smiling at the promise of the new morning.

* * *

"Are you okay?" It wasn't the first time he asked the question that day, but somehow it sounded different now that it was ushered in the warmth and safety of their tent. When he'd asked it before it had been on a panicked, confused voice, his eyes widening as he took in the sight that was both peaceful and savage at the same time: the trees he knew well surrounding his wife, leaves no longer covering their stark black branches. Rags of dress hanging from the branches and wavering calmly in the wind. Cora's body lying on the ground surrounded by leaves of gold and wildflowers of violet and yellow. His wife sitting up against the tree, her gaze on the body of the woman that had nearly cost him everything. He had not been calm them and his voice had not come paired with gentle touches mapping out her face as it did now.  
Regina nodded softly and pressed a light kiss to his mouth. "Yes." She answered confidently. She had never wished death upon her mother, but her heart could not find it to mourn for the woman that had caused so many so much grief already.  
Robin nodded in understanding and kept his fingers in soft touches in her face, mesmerized by things Regina couldn't imagine. He bit his lip and cocked his head as he asked the question that had been lingering on his mind since she'd encountered his wife in the strangely serene scene in the meadow: "What happened?"

He had asked it before, of course, but Regina had only told him that her mother was dead and she'd need to be buried. Her mind had still been dazed at the time with the sight of her mother dangling in the grasp of the forest. She still didn't understand it very much, yet she answered:  
"She tried to hurt me, the forest protected me."  
"The forest?" Robin asked on a breath of astonishment. He had always called the forest their protector, but never before had it risen to help anyone of them, not even when the men of the forest had come with their swords and axes to bring her down. He could only remember once time that the trees had come to life and it was not a time that his eyes had seen; it was a story about the Sylvan who could call the trees to life, but he'd always figured it to be a myth. Regina took in the furrow of his brow as he seemed deep in thought and stroked his hand with hers as she spoke hesitantly.  
"I… I think it was the baby, Robin."  
"The baby?"  
She smiled at his astonishment, the confusion and intrigue shining in his eyes. "It felt like magic, like that warmth that magic brings. I can't explain it … But when I used it, it came from my heart." She brought up one hand and Robin expected it to land above her heart, but Regina placed it gently against the curve of her stomach. "But this time it didn't. It came from there." She shook her head and laughed softly. "It might be silly, but …"  
"It's not silly." Robin cut her off, his eyes meeting hers for a second before resting on her stomach, mesmerized by the child that had protected its mother from inside the womb, his child that commanded the forest before it was even born yet. He gaped in astonishment, both hands rubbing her stomach and coaxing kicks from the child beneath his fingers.  
"Thank you, baby." He murmured. He heard his wife's soft chuckles, but ignored them, pressing a series of kisses to her stomach that made Regina's heart flutter so wildly that she might think it would run out of control completely. "Thank you for taking care of your mommy. I love you so much baby." His hands never left her tummy, but he moved his mouth away to meet her mouth in a passionate kiss.

"I love you so much, Regina." He repeated his declaration, meeting her in a kiss again before she could return the notion. His hands finally abandoned her stomach to grasp her hair and pull her closer to him. His kisses were soft and caring as they ever were, but there was a hint of desperation to them that Regina did not miss, a taste of the fear of losing her on his lips, the words of anxiety he hadn't spoken lingering on his tongue as he kissed her deeply. His fingers trailed down her hair towards her shoulders as he pulled her so she was sitting on the bed, making the access to her body slightly easier with the obstacle of her belly between them. Regina quickly complied by moving herself into his lap and wrapping her legs around his hips. Teeth clashed as they attempted to execute the awkward movements without breaking the kiss, which filled them both with laughter that made the kiss even more difficult until they were finally forced to pull back.  
"You're so beautiful, Regina." Robin rasped, his fingers moving down her shoulders until he met the curve of her breasts. He hadn't intended for it to go this way, didn't even know if it was considered appropriate after the events of the day, but when she moaned into his mouth and pressed herself tighter against him, his consideration flew away from him and he let out a groan as he clumsily tried to remove the sleeping gown from her body without letting her go too much.

His mouth went dry when she was finally bared to him. He had loved her breasts before, even if Regina had felt doubtful about them, but pregnancy had made her curves and breasts fuller and Robin could not approve of it more. His mouth met hers in a toothy kiss that only lasted for a few seconds, because then his mouth found a path to her neck and kissed her, the feeling of her pulse thumping wildly beneath his mouth dragging a muffled groan from him. He surprised her by adding just a bit of teeth to his kiss. Regina's reaction was immediate; a throaty gasp escaping her mouth as she bucked against him, her fingers digging into his back as she pulled him as close to her as the her swollen belly would allow. Robin let go of the skin on her neck and moved his hands over the peaks of her breasts, so sensitive now that the lightest touch made her gasp, whereas any stronger one made her cringe. It was a delicate task to find the pressure and movements that would please and not pain her, but the result was so worth it. A breathy gasp escaped Regina as her husband's thumb trailed circles her nipples and trailed his mouth down towards her breasts. He let out a frustrated groan as the angle prevented him from reaching his destination, but quickly retaliated by bringing his mouth up to hers and kissing her again on a deep groan. His fingers continued their torturous dance on her breasts, making goose bumps run over Regina's skin and wetness pool between her legs as she rocked against him.  
"Robin." She rasped, his fingers digging in his back as she attempted to pull him closer to her.

Robin understood what she wanted without hearing the words. He quickly moved one hand down to the boxers as he took them off and flung them into the room with almost comical carelessness. She let out a low moan as she felt his need pressing against her, but he didn't move, simply waited for her to finish what he had started between them. And she did. Their position was somewhat awkward as Robin had to lean back and brace on his elbows to allow Regina's to settle in comfortable, but when Regina lowered herself upon him slowly, nothing compared.

Regina slowly rolled her hips against him, breathy moans leaving her as she felt him strong inside of her, tension building in her faster and more heavily than she was accustomed to. Robin watched her with wide eyes and a series of groans in his throat. "God you're so gorgeous Regina." He groaned as he took in the sight of her above him; all soft curves and shining skin, her mouth opened and eyes closed as pleasure ran through her body. Her hands found their way down his body as she bowed her back and fisted her fingers into his hair, the new angle making her moan in a tone so deeply that it made Regina wonder if it was really his wife making the sinful sound.  
"Say it again." She commanded him, biting her lip as her hands fisted his hair and pulled it so tightly that it nearly hurt. Robin was only too happy to comply, moving one hand down while he spoke on a raspy voice.  
"You were always beautiful Regina, but god, now while you're carrying our child, you're just plain irresistible." He let out a deep groan as his free hand came up to cup her breasts while his other found the sensitive spot between her legs that made her let out breathy moans. "Your breasts, Regina, god.." His mouth went dry, his ability to form coherent thoughts rapidly leaving him as Regina clenched tightly around him. "Exquisite. I love you – so much, Regina." Her moans were a distraction, her clenching around him to tight that it made thought nearly impossible, let alone speech, but she needed it, begged for it with every essence of her body.

Robin dropped his voice down to a husky voice as he spoke the final words he could think of. No declarations of love, no praising of her beauty or stories about their children, but a command that was so brutal, so primal that it was nearly a growl when it left his mouth. "Come for me, dear."

And she did. Her fingers fisting in her hair as she bowed her back and let out a sound that was a scream, a moan and a groan all packaged into one sound that still was unable to voice the pleasure running through her body. The sight of her writhing and letting go above him hurled Robin into his own release. He had the clarity of mind to move his hands away from her breasts and fisted them into the sheets, but after every sense of place or time was abandoned for a while.

She was out before he was. When he opened his eyes as he came back to the world from his pleasure, she was already collapsed next to him, pressed against her body the best she could. Robin watched her for a while, mesmerized by the way her face was slacked in sleep already, her mouth open as she was already slightly drooling on their bed. Finally he had the clarity of mind to cover up his wife's body as he took an extra blanket and draped it over her instead of her nightgown. He didn't want to risk waking her up from her well-deserved sleep by trying to clothe her in the gown. She had been so alive and awake above him just minutes ago, but Robin knew she was tired and he wanted to grant her all the sleep she could get. He gave a soft kiss to her forehead and pulled the blankets up over them, taking care to cover every bit of Regina's body in the process. He wrapped his arms around her and it didn't take him long to fall asleep as well.

He dreamt of the little girl with the ebony hair.

* * *

**Please review :-) Also: to celebrate 100,000 words of this story, I'm answering questions and headcanons etc. about this story on my tumblr: .com. If there's anything you're wondering about or you're confused about, you can ask me there.**

**Thank you for reading, your response has been so overwhelmingly kind 3.**


	26. Chapter 26

Few things compared to Sherwood Forest in the bloom of springtime. The young bright yellow leaves on tree branches had ripened into a bright gold that shone proudly in the day's last sunrays. The forest floor around the river was covered in an abundance of brightly colored flowers, the river itself that had been strikingly bare now once again full of lilies and tree flowers dragged there by the wind. The water was still quite chilly, but the cold felt like a heavenly balm against her swollen, painful feet. Regina arched her back as she felt the nagging back pains that had been plaguing her for weeks intensified slightly, making her huff out in annoyance. The birthing wife had told her that it could be a sign of the baby preparing to make its way into the world, or just her body taking a practice run again. Nervous as she was, she hoped it was the former. The baby was still moving, but seemed to have calmed down considerably in the last few days, something that both unnerved Regina and gave her hope.

"You okay?" Robin's voice was gentle in her ear, his fingers massaging her lower back gently until the pain subsided partially, making place for the ever present uncomfortable ache that seemed to be Regina's constant companion. She sighed and dropped her head back to lie on his shoulder.  
"Yeah, fine. Just … tired." She huffed. "Tired and huge and uncomfortable."  
Robin pressed a soft kiss to the back of her head and moved his hands up from her lower back to massage her shoulders in strong, yet soft movements. "Is this nice?"  
She nodded in reply and allowed herself to lean back against him more. Robin had not left her side since she'd first told him about her increasing discomfort she was experiencing. The strain on her back and belly had been bothering her for the better part of the week, but had become more insistent and regular since that afternoon, which the birthing wife had called a hopeful signal. Now watching the sun disappear behind the stark black of the lanky trees, she hoped that the night would bring some changes to her situation. She'd had more than enough of all the little complains that promised progress but had so far only let her down.  
"You should get some rest." Robin told her softly, moving his hand down in soothing circles in her back. Regina huffed again in annoyance.  
"Like I've done so much today." She answered, not so much snappy as tiredly. It was true that she was tired and that sleep called to her, but she didn't like feeling completely useless and powerless. It annoyed her. Robin chuckled softly, but slid his strong arms around her to rest on her belly and laid his head on her shoulder.  
"You're preparing for the arrival of our baby, Regina. I'd say that's quite the feat."  
"Hopefully I am." Regina answered miserably, earning another sympathetic chuckle and a soft circling on her stomach from her husband.  
"The baby will come, dear, soon." He pressed another light kiss to the back of her head. "I promise. For now…" He took her lithe hands in his own and squeezed them softly.

"Look." He lifted her hand up to divert her attention to the beauty of the Sherwood forest stretched out before them: The sky was painted a swirling combination of red and orange, blazing with color as a flock of migrating birds was returning home once again. The day's last sunrays bathed the world in a bright golden glow, the leaves on the trees nearly lighting up as the sunlight touched them. Cicadas were electric, singing their shrill song as they were joined by many a lonely bird searching for a mate before the heat of summer would arrive. Regina smiled at the utter beauty stretched out before her.  
"It's beautiful."  
"Like you." Countered Robin. Regina could feel his cocky-but-loving grin against the back of her hair at his words and let out a soft chuckle.  
"Now you're being sappy."  
"We're having a baby. I'm allowed to." He answered casually, moving his hand back to her stomach as he tried to feel the sparse but apparent movements of their baby. He imagined finally laying eyes in the baby that he'd felt beneath her fingers and imagined in front of his eyes for many months.  
"I love you." He mumbled against the back of her head. Regina sighed and closed her eyes, feeling the tiredness overtake her. Only after her eyed closed the found how tired she really was, sleep already dawning upon her minutes after her eyes had slipped closed.  
"I love you too." She murmured and her voice must have sounded sleepy, because Robin trailed her fingers through her hair and started soothing movements against her temples.  
"Just go to sleep, darling." He murmured softly against her skin, parting with a soft kiss. Regina sighed contently and even though the pains in her abdomen and back did not recede, managed to slip into a deep sleep surrounded by the safety of Robin's arms.

* * *

She woke lying in bed, covered with so many blankets that she was almost uncomfortably warm. Even though nights were light in the Sherwood Forest, she could tell that morning had not yet arrived and judging by Robin snoring next to her, it was either very late at night, or very early in the morning. Normally she'd wonder what had woken her up at such an impossible time, but the reason forced itself upon her rather obviously: a ripping pain her lower abdomen that had her grit her teeth at the force it wrenched its way through her body with. Her body didn't work with her as she tried to lift herself up from the bed and it was only when the strong force of pain let go of her body that she was able to sit up and really asses her situation properly. She remembered falling asleep in Robin's arms at around sunset, after which he had probably carried her towards their bed. He had clothed her in the slightly raffled but comfortable nightgown that she'd worn for the last moths because it felt comfortable around her stomach and sore breasts. She turned her head to Robin and smiled softly at his slight bedraggled state as he slept: his hair mushed and plucky, his body tangled in the sheets as if he was beast caught in a net and his open as he snored lightly.

She had just stretched her arm to arrange the stray lock of hair that sprung up defiantly, when another searing pain rose in her lower back and quickly rippled through her, gripping her abdomen in a hold that had her grit her teeth tightly. Her effort to stay quiet failed quickly as the pain intensified quickly, pulling a low moan of pain from her that was quickly followed by another, higher pitched one as the contraction continued running through her body. When the pain subsided she swung her feet from the bed, pleasant to find that between the fits of pain that ran through her body, she could move relatively well without pain. She carefully sat up on the edge of the bed, hoping that the change of position would lessen some of the pain that she knew would arrive soon.

The next surge of pain came faster than she'd expected and ran through her body with a force that made it impossible to keep the sounds of pain from escaping her throat. She gripped her stomach and bent over in an effort to relieve the strain, but it helped only a little. The pain was insistent, not wavering away but rather holding a tight grip on her for near a minute, before it finally subsided.

It was only when the pain had dissipated that she felt a soft hand on a stomach paired with even softer muttering of words in her ears. She turned towards the sound and found Robin sitting behind her, his hands rubbing her lower back soothingly, an expression of worry and sympathy grazing his features.  
"Hey." Regina rasped out softly, her voice already starting slightly raw and tired. "Did I wake you?"  
"Did you think I was going to sleep through my daughter's birth?" Robin quipped, earning a small chuckle from his wife.  
"Still sure about the daughter thing?"  
"Fairly sure, yes." He pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck and moved his hands up to her sides, feeling the tension and strain in her lower back. "How are you doing?"  
Regina sighed as she leant back heavily against Robin. "I've been better." She turned her head so she could listen to his heartbeat. Calming, yet she knew he was probably nervous too. Still his presence behind her was pleasant. Something to anchor her while her body was seemingly largely out of her control for the time being.  
Robin nodded in understanding. "Do you want me to get the birthing wife?"  
Regina sighed. "It's the middle of the night."  
"I don't think she'll blame you for it." Robin said, failing to keep the amusement away from his voice, which earned him a sharp look from his wife. "Baby's like keeping people awake in general, it's a bit of a thing. They-"

"Stop joking." Regina gritted as she felt another contraction rise up. To his credit Robin quickly sensed the change in his wife's tone and turned his words from clever quips to soothing murmurings as Regina worked her way through another contraction. He rubbed her lower back in movements that Marian had found particularly soothing during Roland's birth, hoping they would lessen Regina's as well. She didn't protest against them, so he assumed that it helped at least a little.

As he spoke his gentle encouragements, Robin did his best to keep the anxiety he was feeling from his voice. He was no fool: he knew the dangers of childbirth, knew how it had very nearly killed his mother when he came into the world. It was the reason he had stayed an only child; his father had been too scared to put the woman he loved in that kind of danger again. Robin understood his father and as his wife breathed and yet out a whimper as she fought through another contraction, he prayed to every god he could think of to keep her safe.

After the contraction subsided, he asked again if she'd allow the midwife to see to her. It was thanks to the elderly woman that his mother had lived to see him grow up and he trusted her more than the gods he could pray to. He let out a relieved sigh when she agreed and though he reluctantly parted with her, quickly set out to fetch the midwife.  
"I'll be back soon." He promised, nearly tripping over his own feet as he ran from the tent.

* * *

The midwife had told her that she was definitely in labor, which Regina figured she should be happy about, but she could really only pay attention to the fact that the woman told her that it would most likely be several hours before she could start to bring her baby into the world. Regina had been very ready to strange the woman when she'd told her, but had been prevented from doing so by another ripping contraction that made anything besides groaning in pain a difficult feat to accomplish.

So she diligently breathed, moaned and groaned her way through hours of contractions that came both too slow and too fast at the same time. Robin was beside her the whole time, encouraging her to keep moving often while all she wanted was to lie in bed and be miserable until she could finally hold her baby. The midwife had retreated to give the pair some privacy and had told to call her if anything happened or she wanted to start pushing. Apart from her water breaking, what already felt like hours ago and from the contractions, little happened. It was discouraging to say the least.

"How long is it going to take?!" Regina moaned after yet another contraction. She was seated on the bed with Robin sitting behind her. The midwife had suggested a number of positions to make the contractions easier, but Regina's legs ached and sitting on the bed had quickly become her favorite, not in the least because it allowed Robin easy access to rub her back during contractions.  
"Babies take time, dear." Robin told her softly and Regina grumbled in reply. Stating the obvious.

"It's all going to be worth it, Regina. When you see the baby's face for the first time you will forget all about the pain. You-"  
"And what do you know about giving birth?" Regina snapped at him.

That shut him up.

* * *

"I want to push!" Regina had long since stopped trying to keep the volume down as she worked her way through the increasingly brutal pains that rippled through her body. She hoped that Roland wasn't a light sleeper, because the sounds that she made at the peak of her contractions were not something she wanted the little boy to hear. The pain in her abdomen had been bad before, but had become increasingly intense and had arrived progressively more often over the course of hours until there was hardly any time to catch her breath between them.  
"Robin I want to push." She moaned and she barely registered Robin's soft-spoken reaction.  
"I'll get the birthing wife." Robin supplied calmly, even if his heart was beating erratically and in both excitement and fear. Regina was a strong woman, he knew and to see her wrecked by the pains that her own body inflicted upon her made his heart twist in his chest. He continued rubbing her back until the worst of the contraction subsided and quickly scurried from the bed to fetch the birthing wife before the worst part of the next one could arrive.

When he returned with the midwife he found her sitting on the middle of the bed, her face contorted in pain as she let out a sound between a moan and a wail that rended his heart. Seeing his wife on the bed laboring through the contractions the same as she did when he was behind her made him feel increasingly useless. He was glad he brought the birthing wife, who had a far better idea of what do to then she had.

"I want to push." Regina repeated, sounding so tired and miserable that Robin could do nothing but move towards her as fast as he could, offering the only support that he could think of. The birthing wife calmly put her arsenal of towels, herbs, oils and things that Robin did not understand in the corner and moved towards Regina, whose face started contorting again as another contraction followed almost too quickly. "I want-"  
"I know baby, that's okay." The birthing wife soothed as she quickly cleaned her hands with a towel soaked in all kinds of herbs intended to prevent the disease that was notorious for felling many a new mother. "Let's see if you're ready to push, okay baby?" The woman whisked away a few grey wisps of hair and moved towards the bed calmly, gesturing for Regina to lean back slightly against Robin, which she was happy to do.

"Okay dear, you're almost ready to bring this baby into the world. Just a little bit longer. Try not to push yet."  
Regina groaned in frustration at the woman's words. She was tempted to either ignore the woman or smack her in the face for disagreeing with what her body was telling her to do. At the last moment, however, she remembered that this woman had seen many women through labor and that it would probably be wise to listen to her advice. So she worked her way through the next contraction, trying desperately not to work with the intense pressure.  
"Okay honey that's wonderful." Praised the grey-haired woman, a small smile gracing her slim lips. "Your baby will be here soon, I promise okay? Just a bit more patience."

* * *

"I _really _want to push." Regina whimpered. She had worked her way through at nearly half a dozen contractions since the midwife had told her that it the baby would arrive 'soon'. Robin was still seated behind her and really the only thing still keeping her upright. He never ceased his soft encouragements and his soft rubbing of her back. "Please." She moaned brokenly, eying the birthing wife. The woman softly moved on the bed and checked her progress for what seemed to take hours.

"Okay baby, now things are going to get moving a lot faster." The woman told her softly, her voice reassuring and calm, the exact opposite of what Regina was feeling. "With the next contraction, go with what your body tells you do to, okay?"

Regina nodded and she had barely started speaking her reply, before another contraction gripped her and finally, finally she went with what her body had wanted her to do for what felt like hours: she bore down, gritted her teeth and pushed with as much force as her tired body could manage. The pain did not lessen any as she worked with it, but at least it felt as if the pain was finally serving a purpose beside making her feel miserable.

"Wonderful darling, take a rest." Praised the birthing wife as the contraction ended. Regina noticed to her relief that the contractions were not following each other as closely as they had before, as if her body was rewarding her for listening to it. She actually found the time to turn her head to face Robin for the first time since the contractions had gotten particularly intense. His eyes were red. He, her forest lord, her hunter who embodied fear in the hearts of many a city man, had been crying before their baby had even been born.  
"You're so wonderful Regina, I love you so much." He rasped hoarsely, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She got a few minutes to just lie down and allow her husband's love to soothe the fear in her heart, before the contraction reared up again and her mind went to other places as she bore down again, determined to get the baby out as quickly as she could manage.

* * *

Perhaps it had been foolish of her to think that she'd actually start feeling progress after she'd started pushing, but she had worked and huffed her way through half a dozen contractions and the baby was still nowhere to be seen.  
"You said the baby would be here soon." Regina moaned accusingly at the birthing wife, falling back against Robin with a touch of the dramatic flair that she could only have inherited from her mother. The older woman gave an empathetic smile and softly patted one of Regina's knees.  
"It will be. I can already see her, soon you'll be able to see her too, honey. Just a little bit longer." The woman seemed completely untouched by whatever accusation or cursing Regina could throw her way. Robin quite admired it, but that was something he'd never let his wife know. In any story of the events that took place that night, Robin would diligently agree with his wife that the birthing woman was an annoying oaf.

"Okay push baby." The birthing wife instructed, as if Regina had any other plans as another contraction seized her body. She pushed down, gritting her teeth and letting out a wail that made the hairs on Robin's back stand on end. The contraction did not end when she expected it to and Regina nearly lost her breath as she forced herself to keep pushing through the length of it, even if the birthing wife was probably telling her not to. She let out a moan as the pressure morphed into an odd, painful sensation as she could feel the baby's head making its way into the world. It hurt and Regina grasped Robin's hand tightly to keep herself from pushing until the next contraction arrived.  
Robin pressed a careful kiss to the back of her hair and soothingly rubbed her temples, unsure if Regina would allow his hands anywhere near the source of her pain.  
"You're doing great, Regina. Almost over." He whispered as he tried to keep the fear at seeing his wife in such pain from his voice.

When the next contraction finally arrived it was a harsh one, rippling through her back and stomach with brutal force as if her body attempted to push the baby into the world on itself. Regina let out a loud wail at the expected, yet somehow still surprising force. She didn't even wait for the birthing woman's instructions, she simply bore down hard until the pressure got so great she let out a sob at the pain. Yet she gritted her teeth and continued to push until mercifully, the burning sensation subsided somewhat as she felt the force lessen between her legs as she finally felt the progress that she was making. She fell back against Robin's back and closed her eyes, exhausted. Robin continued rubbing her temples and murmuring nonsense that didn't really reach her ears.

"Okay that was the baby's head darling. It's got beautiful dark hair like your own." The older woman encouraged. Regina felt a warm towel pressing against her, which soothed the pain slightly. "Now it will probably be one or two pushes more and you'll be able to hold her. Ready dear?"

And she was ready, more than ready. With the next ripple of pain she grasped Robin so tightly that she was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to string his bow properly for a few days. She bore down and pushed as hard as she could manage, her cry of pain filling the tent until suddenly, finally, the pressure was gone and she watched the woman lift up a writhing, rumpled tiny little human being.  
"You've got a beautiful daughter." The birthing wife announced with a bright smile.

Regina gasped at the sight of the baby. The baby that was actually there and _fine_ and suddenly she remembered the tiny baby boy that hadn't been so lucky. Remembered how Cora had taken him away.  
"Give her to me." She pleaded desperately and the birthing wife quickly complied, placing the writhing infant on her chest. Regina was dimply aware of the birthing wife asking Robin if he wanted to cut the cord and him shaking his head, apparently not willing to leave her. She figured the midwife would probably take care if it when it became necessary, but was too preoccupied with her newborn daughter to bother thinking about it. She watched the little girl writhing on her chest; All tiny eyes and tiny and tiny fingers and tiny limbs and she fell in love with the girl that very instant.

The baby was still relatively quiet, Regina realized and fear gripped her heart.  
"Shouldn't she be crying?" She asked, panic already settling in heart at the idea of losing this beautiful baby that she already loved more than anything in the world. She bit her lip as she took in the sight of the baby lying on her chest, writing and sputtering as it was obviously not pleased. She lifted up one hand to touch the baby's back, feeling the slightly sticky but incredibly soft skin beneath her fingers as she started rubbing circles on the back nervously.  
"Oh she will, believe me." The birthing wife replied and she was proven right only seconds after, as the baby's complaining sputtering transformed into a full blown wail.

The final sign that her baby was indeed healthy made tears spring to Regina's eyes and though she had little experience with children, her instinct took over as she sat up slightly and cradled the newborn in her arms.  
"Oh baby." She sniffled, moving her hand through the tiny wisps of hair that were already drying and trying to curl up from her scalp. The baby continued writhing and crying softly, her "Oh honey I know." She murmured and suddenly a soft laugh erupted from her as she took in the sight of her beautiful daughter, because Robin had been right: A girl with ebony hair. The birthing wife quickly supplied a towel and draped it over the figure of the baby, but retreated towards the back of the tent for a few minutes so the brand-knew family could get acquainted. With the warmth of the towel draped over her back and her mother's warmth against her skin, the baby quickly calmed down, allowing Regina time to simply gaze at the infant laying in her chest. She was dimly aware of the small contractions still stuttering in her body as it got rid of the remains of her pregnancy, but she could hardly get herself to pay attention to it as she gazed at her beautiful daughter who she swore she'd give all the love her mother had never granted to her.

"She's beautiful." She had almost forgotten Robin sitting next to her and his sudden words surprised her. His voice was raspy and she could hear in this voice that tears were very likely streaming down his face as he took in the sight of his daughter. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head and carefully circled his arms around her. "You were so great Regina." She could hear him swallow heavily, his voice filling up with even more emotion as his hand reached out very slowly to stroke the back of the tiny baby that was starting to calm down as it laid on Regina's chest. "Look at how gorgeous our daughter is."

And Robin was right, because Regina didn't think she'd ever seen such a precious, beautiful baby before in her life: she had ebony hair, like herself, but as the hair dried it was apparent that she would probably have the same curly, hard to tame hair that Roland had. Though still colored a pink rather than anything else, Regina swore that she would grow up to inherit at least a bit of her southern toned skin that she had herself inherited from her father. She fell in love with the little trademark Locksley dimples on her daughter's tiny cheeks and secretly prayed that she wouldn't grow out of them. The baby let out a small sputtering sound as she started clumsily moving tiny limbs again and then, as if Regina had asked her, she opened her eyes.

Neither Robin nor Regina could have guessed the color of the baby's eyes. It wasn't the warm brown of Regina's eyes, nor the cool blue depth of Robin's. The color of their daughter's eyes could only be compared to the Sherwood forest: a bright golden color, the exact same as the beautiful colorful leaves that graced the treetops of the forest. The Sherwood forest had left its mark upon their daughter.  
"Oh." Gasped Robin. "I don't think anyone won that bet."  
She was mellowed and distracted by the sight of her baby, now taking in her environment with curious, beautiful shining eyes, so it took a while before the words registered. When they did, however, she frowned and turned around slightly to face Robin. "You bet on our daughter?"  
"I did not. But many of my men did." Robin answered, his eyes twinkling and Regina pursed her lips, but before she could say anything Robin pressed a gentle kiss to them.  
"Who cares about my men, milady? We have a daughter."  
Regina smiled brightly as she turned her attention back towards their daughter, laying on her chest. "That we do."

She watched their beautiful daughter and allowed herself to close her eyes, tiredness overtaking her as she slipped in a light sleep.

* * *

"Regina dear. Wake up." Robin's voice was soft, but insistent in her ear. Regina slowly complied as she opened her eyes. She was still so, so tired and the ache in her body had not lessened much. Her sleep couldn't have been very long. She blinked away the sleep from her eyes and smiled tiredly as she saw the baby still laying on her chest. She had half-expected to wake up finding her in Robin's arms, but it was a pleasant surprise.  
"How long was I asleep?"  
"No more than fifteen minutes, I felt you needed to see this, Regina." He answered and smiled softly as he took in the wonderful sight that was playing out before him.

Regina let out a small gasp as she saw what Robin meant: her daughter was awake now and suckling at her skin as it was evidently in search of her breasts. Her tiny hands were feeling her mother's skin, while her legs clumsily but determinedly tried to push her little body forward towards her destination.  
"Oh baby, are you hungry?" Regina whispered as she took the infant and lifted it up towards her breasts, gently guiding her daughter to what she was evidently looking for. It didn't take long for the baby to find her nipple and latch on, her fussing sounds stopping immediately as she started suckling contently. Regina gasped at the strange sensation, but quickly closed her eyes as she felt her body relax at the touch and she leant back against Robin, just watching her beautiful daughter while her husband murmured loving words in her ear.

The baby fell asleep almost immediately after she'd finished drinking her fill, her tiny body relaxing completely as she nuzzled against her mother's skin. Being born was a tiring event, it seemed. Regina herself felt worn out as well, her eyes closing longer and progressively more often as she leant back against Robin, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"You want to sleep?" Robin asked gently and Regina nodded sleepily. Robin gave a small smile and pressed a final kiss to her hair, before moving away from the position behind her and lifting the baby up in his arms as if it were something he'd done every day of his life. Robin had almost forgotten how long he'd been sitting behind his wife, feeling the strain in his legs and back set in, but he wouldn't complain about it. His wife had endured far more than he had and had granted him their beautiful daughter. He cradled the little girl in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to her head, much in the same way he would kiss the back of his wife's head often. As Regina watched him she felt the love for him swell and flutter inside her and she couldn't keep in a sleepy smile.

"I love you." She murmured. She barely caught his reply of 'I love you too, Regina, so very much', before she finally drifted away into a well-deserved sleep.

* * *

**Both super nervous and super excited about this one. I really wanted to capture the spirit of the birth without boring you or like traumatizing anyone or something like that, haha. I tried to make it realistic, but I apologise if I got things wrong. Anyway, the baby's here! Yay! And yes she hasn't got a name because I can't decide on one. I hope you liked this chapter, stay tuned, because Roland will want to meet his baby sister!  
**


	27. Chapter 27

She woke to the disgruntled cries of a baby. _Her_ baby, she had to remind herself. Her daughter. The thought felt surreal, because if somebody had told her about it all near a year ago, she'd never have believed them. She would have believed the 'baby' part, her mother had never made it a secret that producing an heir was considered an important task for a queen. She'd just never have imagined to love the father of the baby with the intensity that she did. As she awoke she kept her eyes closed and forced herself to calm her breathing as the intense realization watched over her that her life had, once again, changed completely. She had hope that this time it would be for the better. She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head towards the sound her daughter's cries. She couldn't help a still-sleepy smile crossing her face at what she saw: Robin was sitting next to the bed, cradling his daughter in his arms and gently muttering to her in a voice that could only be described as the voice of a father.

"Sshhhh baby, you'll wake your mom." He whispered softly, moving his fingers over the baby's rosy cheeks and stroking over her tiny little lips. Regina laughed softly as she noticed how the baby started sucking on Robin's finger quickly, but was apparently soon disappointed by it and let out another displeased cry.  
"Yeah I suppose that's not what you want is it?" Robin mumbled as he glanced over to Regina. When he noticed she was awake he gave a soft smile and stood up, moving so easily with the baby in his arms that Regina almost envied him. She herself was still afraid to stand up holding the baby in her arms, afraid she'd drop the most precious thing she'd ever seen upon the ground. Robin, however, held their baby with expertise and sat down on the bed facing her.  
"Hey, you're awake." He smiled.  
"I am. Baby woke me." She sat up on the bed and reached out for the baby, which Robin promptly placed in her arms. Regina was glad she'd dressed in the wide nightgown last night, because she could pull it down easily to expose her breast to her child without completely taking it off. She cradled the baby against her chest and as soon as the child felt the warm skin of her mother's breasts, the cries turned into suckling sounds as she tried to find her mother's nipple. She struggled slightly with holding the baby and attempting to guide her to her destination at the same time, but eventually her daughter found what she was looking for and quickly latched on. Her displeased sounds turning into content suckling.

"This is still so weird." Regina observed with a slight chuckle as she watched the baby on her chest. Robin replied with a warm smile, seemingly enthralled by the sight of his daughter and wife on the bed. She watched her baby a while, but she seemed content on drinking her fill without needing any help, so she turned towards Robin. "How long has she been awake?"  
"She woke up about an hour ago. I got her before she could wake you." He gave a loving smile and brushed a loose lock of hair from her face. It had clung to her face sweaty last night, but seemed to have jumped back to its usual beautiful, ebony locks. "I thought you deserved a bit more sleep. There will be enough diapers for you to clean, if you fear you missed out on that." He gave a grin and kissed her softly on the head. "But I'm a poor replacement when it comes to providing breakfast, it seems."  
Regina groans at the thought of breakfast. She'd never thought she'd crave the thick, nutty and slightly sandy breads, but right now there was nothing she'd rather eat. She'd exerted herself last night and had not even a bite since. "I could use some breakfast too."  
"I bet." Laughed Robin softly. "I will go fetch some for you to eat before Roland arrives to see his baby sister. I've told little John to contain his excitement and keep him from storming in here the moment he hears about her, but I'm afraid he will be rather hard to contain after he hears the news." The rubbed the back of his head rather sheepishly, though love for his son shone brightly in his eyes. It warmed Regina's heart and she softly stroked the baby's head, soft ebony hair underneath her fingers. She smiled.  
"I don't blame him, he's probably jumping with excitement over his baby sister."  
"Of that I have no doubts." Robin stood up from the bed and walked towards her, pressing a soft kiss to her head. "I'm getting some breakfast for us, okay? Any special requests?"  
Regina hummed. "Fruit would be nice."  
"Anything for you, milady." Robin gave her a crooked smile and pressed a gentle kiss to his daughter's head, before he strided from the tent, leaving Regina to stare at their daughter, completely mesmerized that something so perfect could exist.

* * *

Robin had fetched her far more than she could eat: a large bowl of all kinds of fruit and berries that were usually reserved for special occasions, freshly baked bread that smelled to deliciously that it had made her mouth water when he had waked into the tent. He had even brought her the marmalade she used to love at the castle and had topped everything off with a pot of tea and a warm, soothing broth. Robin had held their child as she'd eaten, still sitting in the bed, until she fell back against the cushions with a soft chuckle.  
"I needed that." She swung her legs from the bed and winched slightly at the sore feeling between her legs. It was to be expected, considering what the area had had to endure, but it was still rather unpleasant. She let out a sigh and tried to catch a glimpse of her reflection in the few reflective surfaces in the tent. Cora was gone, but her presence somehow still lingered and the distrust of mirrors had not yet dissipated. She didn't need to see a lot of herself to know what she looked like anyway: worn out but happy.  
"I'd could really use a bath right now." She sighed, brushing her fingers through her tangled hair. "At least before I'm presentable before everyone." She gave a soft smile, but she meant it: new mother or not, she would not show herself to everyone in her current state.  
Robin looked up from his daughter and nodded slightly. "Do you want me to fetch Mhairi to prepare a bath for you, or I could do it myself if you are not comfortable with-"  
"I'm okay with Mhairi preparing the bath." She smiled as she sat back down on the bed. "But I think Roland will want to see his baby sister first. I can take a bath after." Contrary to the rangers, she didn't mind the little boy seeing her in her tired state. Besides, it was not like he would have eye for anything else but his baby sister anyway.

Robin gave a dazzling smile and stood up, carefully placing the baby in her arms. "I will get Roland." He told her with a slight peck to her lips and another one, that got followed quickly by a sneaky second one, to his daughter's head. His gaze lingered on his daughter, shining golden eyes now staring curiously at him. He bent down for another kiss but Regina gave a playful kick to his ankles.  
"Stop getting distracted, get your son." She grinned.  
"I can't even kiss my own daughter goodbye?" Robin pouted, his eyes twinkling, before it turned into a cheeky grin and he quickly stole a kiss, jumping away before Regina could kick him again and almost prancing from the room. "Be prepared for overexcited boys jumping on the bed!" He shouted in warning and Regina let out a chuckle. "I will."

* * *

Roland surprised both of them. Instead of the excited storm of a five-year old she'd expected to rush into the tent, the boy tiptoed inside, followed by Robin who raised his eyebrows in surprise. Roland's face morphed into a silent expression of excitement that made Regina chuckle.  
"Is my baby sister sleeping?" Roland whispered, his eyes focused on the little bundle in Regina's arms.  
"No dear, she's awake and excited to meet you." She smiled and gestured for Roland to come towards the bet to meet his little sister. Roland tripled to the bed in a combination of running and tiptoeing that made him nearly fall over. He let out an audible gasp when he took sight of his little baby sister.  
"She's really cute." He remarked, then he frowned, his forehead furrowing. "She's so small." Another furrow. "She reminds me of a squirrel. She…"  
"Okay Roland I think you've insulted your little sister enough." Robin chided with a grin.  
"Do you want to hold her?" Regina asked and Roland's mouth formed a perfect O, before he nodded enthusiastically.  
Regina smiled and scooted to the side of the bed. There was easily enough room for the little boy to sit next to her on the large bed. Roland gave her an excited smile as Regina placed the baby in his arms.

Startled by the sudden movement, the baby let out a shrill cry and Roland's face morphed into one of shock, then of sadness. His lip trembled as Regina struggled to coax the boy into supporting his little sister's head. "She doesn't like me." Roland's voice was so defeated that it made Regina's heart twist for a second, but she ruffled Roland's hair and gave a reassuring smile.  
"She just doesn't know you're her big brother yet, I think you should tell her."  
Robin gasped, his eyes lighting up again. "Of course!" Regina kept a watchful eye as the boy leant forward to whisper in his baby sister's ear, but the boy actually did a fairy good job at holding the baby correctly. Or what Regina figured to be correctly, she was almost as new to this all as the boy was.  
"Hello baby." Roland whispered. "I'm your big brother and we're going to have so much fun together! We will build snowmans-" his brow furrowed again. "Although not now. But we will play tag and hide-and-seek and-" His voice dropped down to a whisper so low that Regina barely caught it at all. "We will feed the squirrels. I will teach you everything and I will protect you against anything!" he finished proudly, a broad grin on his face. The baby had gone quiet somewhere in Roland's monologue, staring up at her brother with eyes that Regina swore looked curious.

"'Gina she likes me! She doesn't cry anymore!" Roland shrieked excitedly, quickly glancing back to his sister as he feared that his load shrieks would scare her. "It's okay baby, I'm not scary." He mumbled, nuzzling his baby sister. He turned towards Regina and then towards his father and Regina smiled as she knew the question that was to come.  
"What's her name?" Robin asked softly, yet excitedly.  
Robin smiled and sat down on the chair next to the bed, dragging it as close to the bed as it would go. He glanced at Regina and cocked his head in question. They had talked about names, of course, but had never really decided upon one. There was one name, however, that had continued to pop up in their heads. Regina smiled and nodded softly, turning to Roland.  
"We haven't decided yet, we first want to know what you like, Roland." Then she stroked the baby's head softly and turned back to Roland. "But what do you think of the name 'Olivia'?"

It had been stuck in her head since they'd first talked about it. She hadn't even been sure where the name came from, but however many names they'd considered, it had never left her. She hadn't even particularly liked the name at first, but had found herself thinking about it every time she thought about the baby being a girl. When she'd first told Robin, he'd frowned at the name, but he had warmed up to it as she had and suddenly any other name just seemed to be forced. It was odd, but the name had already grown on her.  
Roland pursed his lips in concentration and was silent for far longer than it should take to decide if one likes a name or not, but finally his face morphed into a smile and he nodded. "Olivia, I like it." He decided and turned to the baby in his arms. "Hello Olivia!"

Robin laughed. "Olivia it is then."  
"Ollie!" Roland proclaimed with a grin, bursting out in a fit of giggles, which Regina responded to by gently taking Olivia from his arms.  
"That sounds like the name of a dog." She laughed and Roland's eyes widened.  
"Can I have a dog?"  
"You just got a sister! One thing at a time little man." Robin shook his head and patted his son's head, before lifting him up easily and putting him down on the ground. He turned towards Regina, an almost apologetic smile on his face.  
"Is it okay if I leave you for a while? This boy here needs to eat breakfast and I want to make sure he doesn't pawn it all off to his little friends." Roland suddenly seemed terribly interested in the ground, but Robin didn't seem to pay attention to it. "Would you like me to send Mhairi in to prepare your bath?" Regina nodded and Robin answered with a soft smile. "Shout if anything happens."

Regina watched father and son leave the tent; father walking almost silently, Roland jumping up and down in excitement. She smiled and pressed a kiss to Olivia's head. "That's your family dear and we love you more than anything in the world."  
Golden eyes stared back at her and even though Olivia was still far too young to understand what she was saying, she vowed to make sure that her daughter would never doubt it. Not for one second.

* * *

"Your majesty?" Mhairi's voice sounded impossibly more timid than it usually was. "Permission to enter?"  
"Permission granted, and call me Regina. I certainly do not feel like a queen right now." Regina answered with a gentle smile. Regina remembered once again that Mhairi was only two years younger than she was. She wondered if Mhairi would be in her position if she'd grown up in the society of royals like she had. "How are you, Mhairi?"  
"I'm doing fine, yo- Regina." Mhairi answered politely, but also with the usual air of friendliness and kindness that filled her voice. Regina remembered the girl in the golden dress that had tried to teach her to dance some time ago. She missed that Mhairi sometimes.  
"Permission to ask how you are, Regina?"  
"Mhairi, you're very kind, but can we please talk as if we are friends?" She gave a smile. "I feel like you are my friend and It just feels wrong for you to have to ask permission for things like that. But to answer your question, I am worn out and probably smelly and very, very happy right now."

Mhairi smiled and her eyes opened up, more of the girl in the golden dress appearing. "I'm happy to her that, Regina."  
"Do you want to see the baby?" It was rather impulsive and not really planned at all, but suddenly she felt the overwhelming urge to share her daughter with the girl before she'd be presented to all the men and women of the Sherwood Forest.  
"I'm not sure if it would be considered proper to-"  
"Mhairi, I'm asking as your friend, not as your queen." Regina smiled and that seemed to do the trick. Mhairi gave a broad smile and an excited nod.

"Just let me start on your bath first." She quickly supplied, emptying buckets of water into the bronze tub that Robin had let his men place in the corner of their tent. Mhairi placed some rocks in the smoldering fireplace and washed her hands for good measure, before she turned and hesitantly waked towards Regina.  
"Oh." Mhairi gasped when she took sight of the baby laying in Regina's arms. "She's so cute!"  
"I agree." Regina sighed, her eyes still resting on Olivia's beautiful little face. The baby was getting tired, letting out a yawn that Regina found indescribably cute, like really anything Olivia did.  
"Her name is Olivia." Regina answered the question before it was answered.  
"A good name. Strong, but royal." Mhairi said with a firm nod.

She then gave a smile to Regina and laid a hand on her arm gently. "Thank you for wanting to be my friend, Regina."  
"You were the first one to be nice to me when I came in here, Mhairi, do you know that?"  
Mhairi blushed and quickly averted her gaze, turning it towards the stones that were starting to glow a hot red. "Your bath will be ready soon." She averted, but she gave a shy smile towards Regina. "Allow me to finish preparing your bath, I think you need one." She gasped as she caught on what she said, her cheeks blushing furiously. "I didn't mean it like that!"  
Regina just laughed.

* * *

The bath had been absolutely heavenly; the soft water a balm on her tired muscles and sore spots. Now standing in front of her mirror was the rather familiar clothing crisis that had been plaguing her for months. The baby was born –she could see her contently sleeping in the crib- but her body hadn't gotten the message yet, it seemed. Luckily it was spring, so dresses were an option again. She opted for a softy yellow empire waist dress sparsely decorated with silver jewels. It was a rather simple dress, but refined enough to wear at the official ceremony and pretty comfortable around her sensitive breasts.  
"You're a marvel." Praised Robin walking into the tent with Roland trailing behind him. The boy immediately padded towards the crib as he started watching his baby sister sleep intently. Robin pressed a soft kiss to her neck and wrapped his arms around her, the soft material of the dress flowing around her bare legs as he did. "I won't take too long, just a ..." he frowned. "Presentation, I guess?" He chuckled, but Regina only gave a wry smile.

"My mother held me up in front of the court when I was but a baby and announced to everyone that I was going to be queen. Mind you, I wasn't even in line for the throne. Then she went on to call me Regina, in case I ever would forget, I guess." She sighed, turning around and giving a small smile to Robin. Her husband responded by pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"We don't have to do it, you know? I'm pretty sure they'll find out about her soon enough."  
"I want to." Regina smiled softly, leaning forward to capture his lips in hers in their first real kiss since Olivia had been born. Robin was gentle as he kissed her, soft lips caressing hers, tongue curious but never pressing. His hands carefully found her thick locks and brushed them back over her shoulders before bunching them up again, letting the soft ebony hair slide through his fingers. Regina moaned softly into the kiss and Robin's lips morphed into a grin, which quickly complicated the chorography our their kiss. Regina figured it would probably be a while before her body would allow affections other than his lips on hers again, but as long as he kept kissing her like this, she was perfectly fine with that.

"Ew!" Shrieked Roland, making the pair jump apart in an instant. Olivia burst out in a sharp cry as Roland startled her, which made tears jump to Roland's eyes as well as he apologized to his sister, trying to soothe her.

"Duty calls, it seems." Quipped Robin with a final peck to his wife's lips, before he scooted to the crib and lifted his son up in his arms, whispering something in his ear that made the boy giggle. Regina followed him and lifted Olivia from the crib.

"Hey baby." She pressed her nose against the plucky dark hair on the baby's scalp and inhaled the scent that seemed to cling to every newborn. Cradled in her mother's arms, Olivia calmed quickly, her golden-brown eyes slipping closed again as she fell asleep like only babies can. Regina smiled down at the wonderful little human being lying in her arms, marveling about how something like her daughter could even exist: how she could have come out of nothing but the love between her and Robin. She sighed and almost laughed at how ridiculously in love she already was with her baby daughter. The girl already had her wrapped around her tiny little fingers and Robin probably even more so.

"Gina are you ready?!" Roland beamed at her from his father's arms, waiting enthusiastically and nearly slapping his father in the process. Regina laughed at the boy's excitement.  
"I can see you are, Roland."  
"I am!" shrieked Roland with a grin. "I want everybody to see my buti- buyt- pretty lady sister!"  
"Well let's not make them wait, then." Regina conceded. Roland grinned broadly and wrestled himself from his father's arms, running out the tent to announce his beautiful baby sister.

* * *

There was no music, no dancing or strange prayers to the gods in languages that Regina did not understand when she and Robin walked from the tent. There were simply men and women standing scattered around the encampment, taking in the new family with curious eyes. Regina had always found it hard to keep her head up during the Sherwood Forest's strange ceremonies, but now could do it easily, smiling proudly as she held her daughter cradled in her arms. Robin gently slung an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her temple as she watched the men and women gather round to catch a glimpse of their leader's new daughter.

"Her name is Olivia!" Shrieked Roland excitedly, ruining every ceremony that could have been related to the baby's name. A laughter roared through the camp at the little boy's excitement. Roland grinned goofily and clapped his hands in excitement, before Robin called the boy back gently and gave a slight nod towards the men and women of the encampment.

Regina had seen the presentation of king's daughter, had seen royals and nobility throw themselves at the feet of a child that had done nothing but be born, had done nothing to deserve such praise and groveling as she had received. The rangers of the Sherwood forest did not kneel for kings nor queens, but Regina watched with wide eyes as they collectively bowed their heads for her daughter. She then watched a ranger, one of the ones that had sat at the council with her earlier step forward and take up his bow. A longbow carved from Dragonswood. The man spoke no words, simply drew his bow and fired a single arrow high in the air. Slowly she watched the other rangers draw their bows and fire arrows up high in the air.

"They are pledging their arrows to protect her." Robin explained softly. It was then that Regina understood: perhaps the rangers of the Sherwood forest would never bow before her daughter, but they would respect and protect her with the ferocity only known to the Sherwood forest.  
"Thank you." She mouthed to the ranger with the dark eyes. The ranger gave a small smile and a curt nod towards her, before he turned around and turned his back to them, disappearing into the mass of faces. The mass slowly parted, rangers returning to the depths of the forest for the hunt, to their tent towards loved ones or back towards the fires, to their jests and jokes. As quickly as it had awakened, the encampment fell asleep again.

"Thank you." She repeated her words when she turned towards her husbands. Robin smiled softly and gently caressed her cheeks, wiping the tears that she hadn't been aware of away from them.  
"I should thank you, Regina. You have given me our daughter. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that." He whispered, but Regina shook her head. She would have grasped his hands if she could, would have pressed herself close to him if she could have. She let out a soft laugh as she felt her voice break before she had even spoken.

"Robin, I want to thank you because … When I came here I was scared, I was unhappy and broken and you …" She smiled as her eyes trailed down towards their baby, golden eyes now opened and staring up at her. She sighed and shook her head again, her thoughts finding no sense upon her tongue.  
"My father once told me a story about a girl who found a dove when she went on one of her tracks. The bird was injured, it's wings broken after it was attacked by a hawk. The girl took the bird in and nurtured it back to health. One day the girl opened the dove's cage and the bird stretched its wings and flew away, finally free again." She brought her eyes up from Olivia towards Robin, who looked both fascinated and slightly puzzled at her story. She laughed and pressed her lips towards his.

"Robin, my wings were broken when I came here. You taught me how to fly again." She raised her hand before Robin could ask her anything, simply brought her lips up to his for another kiss. Explaining the rest of the story in soft breaths against his lips.  
"But that's not how the story ends. Because when the girl returned home that night, she found the dove sitting on her windowsill. It never left, because for all its freedom to fly away, it desired to stay anyway."

She swallowed and smiled, no further explanation required for her words, because both understood. She pressed another soft kiss to Robin's lips and allowed him to pull her as close as she would go.  
It was then, with Robin's arms wrapped around her, their daughter in her arms and their son's arms wrapped around her waist that she understood:

Our true loves our not just the ones that give us the freedom to fly away,  
They are the ones that make us want to stay.

* * *

**This is kind of the end of this story. I don't see how it would be natural to continue it any further without drawing things out. There will be an epilogue, but then we have arrived at the end of the story. Writing this story has been such a phenomenal experience for me thanks to all your wonderful comments and I'm actually a bit emotional about leaving this universe behind. I might do like a sequel set in the future or a series of oneshots, depending if anyone is interested. Anyway, let's not get ahead of myself; I will still get to write the epilogue!**

**Also on another note: the name was something I just couldn't get out of my head. I don't particularly like the name Olivia, but it's been stuck since I planned this story and I just couldn't possibly go with another name. **

**Thank you all for staying with me through 27 chapters (wow!) and stay tuned for the epilogue :-).**


	28. Epilogue

Olivia loved the forest and oddly enough, it loved her back.  
The forest had a draw on Olivia unlike anything else. Even just after her little legs had barely learnt to stand firmly on the earth below her, had she ventured into the golden depths of the Sherwood Forest. Robin could no longer keep count of the amount of times he'd had to retrieve his daughter from the forest he had explicitly forbidden both his children from wandering off into.  
It thus did not come as a surprise that he found his daughter in the forest once again. The girl, five years of age now, had managed to sneak from under her parents' watchful eye once again to sneak out towards her best friend: the forest.

Robin had become used to retrieving his daughter from the forest, but he didn't think he'd ever get used to the sight of his little girl dancing around the forest as if it were her playground, as if the dangerous animals that lived there were nothing but her playmates. He'd never stop getting surprised by the scenes that his daughter played out in front of him:

Olivia stood in the middle of a clearing, barefooted and still dressed in her white, ruffled sleeping gown. Her ebony hair was just starting to grow out again after he'd had to cut it off not so long ago. The girl had one day arrived back from a stroll in the forest with her hair so hopelessly tangled that there was really no other option than to cut off a good portion of it. Her skin shone in the late summery sun, the freckles that popped up at the slightest touch of sunshine adorning her face in little speckles.

Olivia, a small girl as she was, looked impossibly frail and vulnerable standing in front of the imposing stag that she was eying curiously. It was a proud animal, fully grown with imposingly curved antlers and intelligent brown eyes. Robin wouldn't have hesitated shooting the animal if it hadn't been for his little girl stretching out her hand and allowing the animal to sniff it. Robin halted his silent gait and lowered his bow, eyeing the interaction between the animal and his daughter curiously, yet cautiously. Olivia giggled, a soft, melodious sound as she brought up her other hand and slung her arms around the animal in a slightly clumsy but well-meant hug. The animal simply stood still and allowed it to happen. His daughter snuggled her face into the stag's prickly hairs and mumbled something Robin could not hear.  
After she let the animal go she turned around with a happy prancing and giggled, before she suddenly stood still and stared right into his direction for a while.

"Daddy!" She suddenly exclaimed, causing the stag to startle and jump away, the magical moment between the girl and the animal broken. Her little legs carried her to her father quickly and she grinned broadly. "You see the 'orse?"  
"That wasn't a horse, baby, that was a stag." Corrected Robin, trying to keep the astonishment from his voice. He then remembered his reason for coming and quickly squatted to face level with his daughter, putting on what Olivia called his 'daddy-face'. "Olivia, remember what I told you? No going in the forest without me or your mommy. It can be dangerous."  
Olivia pouted. "Is not. It's my friend."  
"Olivia, I want you to promise me that you won't go into the forest again without asking, okay baby?"  
His daughter pouted again and shuffled her feet, dragging out answering as long as possible. Robin lifted her chin up for her eyes to meet his and finally Olivia nodded, albeit reluctantly.  
"Promise." She said, only to follow up her words with an excited grin as she jumped away from her father. "Wanna see a trick?"

Before Robin could reply his girl had taken a small rock and folded her hand around it. When she opened it, a butterfly flew away; it's wings as black and shining as the rock had been.  
His daughter's magic was another thing that Robin would never get used to.

* * *

She had half a mind to be thankful of Robin holding her hair back while she retched, her body expelling the already meagre breakfast that she'd managed to get down that morning. She'd been blessed with little to no nausea during her pregnancy with Olivia and apparently the universe was compensating for it now. She had been feeling sick, retching up her breakfast nearly every day, for close to two months. It was starting to wear down on her body and mind. She sagged back against Robin and closed her eyes firmly to prevent the world from turning in front of her eyes, held her breath to keep out the sourly smell of what had once been her breakfast.  
"Oh honey." Robin pressed a kiss to the back of her head as he stroked his fingers through her hair. "It's not getting better is it?" He sighed. Regina shook her head and let out a shaky breath.

"I didn't even get to finish the story." Regina felt her voice break alarmingly quick and before she could stop it she was sniffling. "Olivia will be wondering what happened to the prince and the flower and Roland…"  
"They will be fine." Interrupted Robin calmly, taking his wife's hand and carefully lifting her up from the ground she'd been kneeling on. She had been reading a story that she remembered from the palace maids to Olivia and Roland, but the nausea had risen up and forced her to run from the tent, leaving Robin behind with the two confused children.  
Regina swayed as she stood up and Robin quickly pulled her towards him to steady her.  
"Olivia, she will wander off." Regina said weakly, but Robin pressed another kiss to the back of her head and procured a leather satchel of water. "I told little John to keep an eye on them. Drink something, it will help."

It did. The cool water of the Sherwood forest seemed somehow imbedded with the magic that lingered in the shade of golden leaves. As she drank the cool water, slightly leathery in taste coming from the satchel, Regina felt some of the strength return to her body. She sighed in relief as the nausea subsided and gave a thankful smile to her husband, who proceeded to lead her back to the encampment.

"I didn't get sick at all with Olivia." Regina muttered, confused and perhaps more than a bit resentful.  
"Perhaps it's a boy then." Robin reasoned, earning him a questioning look from Regina. "Marian was sick for months with Roland." He explained. Regina sighed. She certainly hoped her horrible nausea wouldn't last the entire pregnancy.  
"I will ask the medicine woman to cut up some Ravensroot for you, that helped didn't it?"  
Regina smiled softly at her husband's suggestion. The roots tasted horrible, but they'd helped her keep her breakfast down just fine. "I would like that. Thank you."  
"Anything I can do to help, you know that." Robin squeezed her hand and led her through the encampment back to their tent.

"Mommy!" A brightly smiling Olivia greeted them. "Will you finis the stohry?"  
Regina laughed, the memory of her nausea forgotten and lifted the little girl up in her arms, walking her back towards nine year old Roland, who was waiting for her to continue the story as well (even though he pretended he wasn't). As she sat down and continued the story she imagined another little boy or girl joining her beautiful family.

The thought of it was better than any medicine.

* * *

"What's her name?!" Shrieked Olivia as she nearly stumbled over her legs running into the tent. Roland was behind her and apparently found that at almost nine years old was too cool to be as excited as his little sister, though Regina could tell he could hardly keep himself from acting the same way.  
"_His_ name you mean." Corrected Regina, tapping the tip of her daughter's nose as when she reached the bed. "You have a little brother."  
Olivia pouted. "But I asked for a sister."  
"I know honey, but brothers are fun too, aren't they?" Robin swept up his daughter in his arms, the little girl bursting out in a fit of giggles in response. "Remember when Roland thought you to fire arrows the other day?" He turned towards his son and tried to form a scolding from. "When I told him _specifically _not to."  
Roland at least had the courtesy to look mildly ashamed, but Robin was too muddled by the birth of his new son that he really couldn't bring himself to muster any anger at his eldest.

"What's his naaammeee?!" Repeated Olivia impatiently, struggling free of her father's hold and falling down on the bed with a force that would have been painful to any child but her. It seized Regina's heart every time she saw it, but Olivia seemed completely ignorant of the fear her tricks struck into her parents' hearts. "I want to know his name!"  
"Olivia have some patience." Scolded Regina. Olivia scrunched her nose in an expression of distaste at the word. Robin chuckled and sat down on the bed next to Regina, gathering his daughter in his arms again while Roland made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed.

"His name is Ivan." Said Regina, gazing down in wonder at the beautiful baby with bright blue eyes and plucky brown hair that she suspected would grow out much like Roland's. They had considered naming the baby 'Henry', after her father who had parted from them near a year before, but had decided when they'd first laid eyes upon the baby that there was another name that suited him far better.  
"Ivan." Olivia pondered, frowning as if she had deep knowledge about the name.  
"It's beautiful mom, dad." Said Roland determinedly, earning himself a hug and a kiss on the head from Regina.  
"It's beautiful!" mimicked Olivia, eager to get the same attention her brother was receiving. Robin chuckled and pressed a kiss to his daughter's head. "Almost as pretty as you, my dear."  
"And as pretty as mommy!" Olivia said with a grin.

Regina hardly figured she looked the best she ever had. Though Ivan's birth had been far quicker and at least a bit easier than Olivia's had been, she was still worn out, tired and sweaty all over. Robin, however, simply nuzzled his face into his daughter's hair and clasped his hand tightly around hers.  
"Almost as pretty as your mother."

* * *

She had always figured it would be Robin who taught her children how to shoot a bow. It was thus with a mild surprise that she noticed Roland teaching her eight-year old daughter to steady her arm and draw back the string to make the arrows cut through air with ease. Roland was a natural with the bow, not a surprise given both his parent's prowess with the weapon. The sight of her daughter biting her lip in concentration as she pulled back the strong warmed her heart. She'd never gotten to master the arts of archery, but the thought of her daughter being able to protect herself was comforting.

"I thought that archery was going to be my job." She turned when she heard Robin's voice, giving him a small smile and turning towards her son who was toddling behind his father and eying them curiously with his bright blue eyes. Around Olivia one didn't have to mind their words as much. Olivia was often too busy with her own thoughts and wonders to notice anything as dull as the conversation between her parents, but even as small as he was, Ivan caught every word spoken between them. Regina mussed his brown, plucky hair when he reached her.  
"Can I do ar- ars- arch-" Ivan pouted. "Shooting bows too?"  
"Archery." Enunciated Robin, tapping his son on the nose. "And you shoot the arrows, not the bow."  
Regina hummed. "I understand why Olivia prefers Roland to teach her. Who cares about those pesky details?" She flashed a smile and turned to watch their children warring with their bows and arrows again. She couldn't help but chuckle at her daughter stomping the ground in frustration when her arrow hit only the edge of the target. Her daughter was already more proficient than she herself was with a bow, but apparently was not content with just hitting the target. Roland chuckled and instructed his sister something that Regina didn't catch. Her daughters face lit up and she quickly grabbed another arrow. Regina pursed her lips. "Perhaps I should ask Roland to teach me too. He seems a good teacher."  
Robin let out a throaty chuckle and placed his hand on her backside, tugging her to him gently and pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss. "You city folk just don't have it in you to master the bow. It's not my fault." He teased. Regina laughed and swatted his hands away.  
"That just cost you a week –"  
"Momma is not a city folk." Ivan's tiny voice peaked. Robin laughed and lifted the frowning boy up in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of his son's head and flashed Regina a smile.  
"You're right, baby, she's not."

* * *

"I swear if one of them falls off…" Robin eyed the horses with as much distrust as he would a wild cat stalking towards him. His wife being around horses had always made him nervous and he had secretly prayed for his children to inherit her distrust of the animals from him. He'd had no such luck.  
"Nothing will happen to them." Soothed Regina, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing softly. She glanced at him and a small, teasing smile graced her lips. "Besides, if you allow our children play with weapons, I think they can also ride horses."  
Robin pouted. "Weapons don't startle and run away."  
"Rocinatne doesn't startle. She's too old for that." Snorted Regina. It was true. Their youngest was eight years old, sitting on Rocinante's back with a timid smile while his sister was behind him, smile so dazzling that it lit up the forest. Rocinatne had taught both Roland and Olivia to ride and now carried around a nervous but excited Ivan.  
"River is not." Robin nodded to the mare Roland was seated on. The boy was taller than Regina now and almost as proficient with horses as she was. River was walking calmly while Roland seemed to be giving instructions to his siblings.  
"Yes, she looks like she's about to bolt any time." Deadpanned Regina. When she felt that Robin didn't relax she leant against him and gave a smile. "Hey, nothing will happen, okay? I promise." She pursed her lips and raised one eyebrow. "Besides, I seem to remember you rode a horse quite successfully at least once."  
Her husband gave cocky smile. "I would have you know that that in itself was already risking my life. I thought getting on that horse was rather brave of me."  
Regina laughed. "You're so full of it!" She softened and sighed. "But I love you."  
Robin hummed. "I love you too. Even if you're endangering our children."  
Regina slapped his arm in response, mirth shining in her eyes.

* * *

"I'm going grey." The flair of drama in Robin's voice was hard to miss. He was seated in front of their mirror, plucking at what she assumed were grey hairs. Regina let out a soft chuckle and placed her hands on his shoulders, gazing down at the crown of his head.  
"Yes, terribly so." She said with a slight smirk, plucking out a single grey hair. Robin winched slightly as she pulled out the hair and caught her hand, bringing it in front of him and tracing his fingers over the back of her hand. He turned his gaze up to see her in the mirror behind him.

"Regina, you're so beautiful." He croaked, squeezing her hand. Regina sighed and lowered herself to sit next to him.  
"What is it, Robin?"  
Robin swallowed. "I was twice your age when I married you."  
"So you were."  
"Doesn't that bother you?" He asked, his eyes flicking from his own face in the mirror toward his wife's. Regina smiled slightly and shook her head.  
"Not anymore."

Robin gave a small smile and squeezed her hand, but his mind was clearly still preoccupied.  
"Robin, what are you thinking about?" Regina asked gently.  
Robin sighed. "I'm getting old… Older, Regina. And you're still… you're still so beautiful and young and I don't want-"  
"Shhh." Regina shushed him, bringing her arms around him and lifting him up, guiding him away from the mirror. "I don't care how old you are." She leant towards him and kissed him softly. "I love you. Grey hairs and all." She kissed him again, longer now, deeper. "And I kind of like the grey hair to be honest."  
"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Robin muttered, but all other words were swallowed as his wife crashed her lips against his, intent on proving that she was still very much interested In her husband.

* * *

She cried when Olivia got married. Robin thought she was still too young to commit to something so big for life, but Olivia was never one to be held back by opinions when something really mattered to her. She was nineteen years old, two years older than her mother had been in marriage and when the girl that brought that up in the argument about her decision to get married, the silence had been deafening.

Robin had eventually relented and grudgingly given permission to his little girl to get married. Regina felt his hand clench tightly around hers as they watched their daughter take the walk towards the downpour of water. Olivia looked positively stunning and more clean and sophisticated than Regina had ever seen her. Her daughter abhorred dresses and rarely ever wore them, but Regina knew her daughter had fallen in love with the dress the first moment she'd put it on. It was a beautiful dress: short and slim fitting at the top and wavering out at the bottom. The dress appeared plain white to the unassuming eye, but with every wave of the fabric in the morning sun a rainbow of colors gleamed on the fabric, as if the rainbow itself was trapped in the confines of the dress. Olivia's hair was falling over her shoulders in long waves, not a single pin to model it in shape. It was a rare occurrence for Olivia to show of the curling of her long, ebony hair. Usually It would be forced to stay cooped up in a braid or a ponytail as to not get it caught on the branches in the forest.

Her daughter looked nervous and it was perhaps one of the few times Regina had seen her daughter like that. Olivia was rarely ever nervous and when she was mostly tended to cover it up with her brashness and the wildness housed in her soul. Now, however, there was no challenge in her daughter's eyes, no mouth already bracing to retaliate, no body rigid and ready to spring up at the slightest confrontation. Her daughter looked positively radiant and even though she seemed nervous, paradoxically, for the first time in her life she also seemed calm. Regina swallowed as she watched her daughter take the old, tattered but still shining golden bowl and fill it with the clear water from the waterfall. It was the same thing Robin had done for her at their marriage ceremony and she swallowed thickly at the thought, getting only a moment to sink back into the depths of her memory before the music swelled and her daughter's soon-to-be wife strided past them with much more confidence and elegance than Regina had in her position.

Robin had been surprised. Women marrying women was not a common practice in the Sherwood Forest, yet he had not been opposed to the idea. Regina remembered the rigid rules in the royal halls, where marriage was something to be conducted between man and woman only. Olivia had not been bothered by the rules of either society, had simply announced to her parents that she was engaged to a woman and would get married to her wherever they would allow her to. Regina had smiled at that, the fire burning alight in her daughter's soul never ceasing to amaze her.

Regina understood why her daughter had fallen for the woman that was now waiting to become her wife. She was a stunning beauty with tanned skin and ebony hair falling down her shoulders in waves, eyes shining brightly with challenge and adventure. Regina remembered well the first time her daughter had brought the woman to camp. She had all but demanded that the exotic gypsy she had picked up somewhere along her travels be granted shelter. Regina hadn't asked, but later Esmeralda had told her nonetheless; about her love for freedom and passion and how it got her hunted by the rigid society she'd grown up in. Regina had quickly grown fond of the girl and it had not taken her long to notice her daughter had as well.

Regina grasped Robin's hand tightly as she watched her daughter perform the same actions that her father had all those years ago; but instead of a gentle, careful kiss on the face Olivia and her new wife shared a kiss that seemed a bit too heated for her parents to see. Regina glanced at Robin and saw the glistening in his eyes, she squeezed his hand and leant her head on his shoulder, sighing as she watched Roland step forward to congratulate his sister and welcome her new wife into the Sherwood Forest. Robin had granted the leadership of the Sherwood forest to his son, now a man of almost twenty-three and wiser than his father had been at that age. Roland had himself married a fierce, red-headed archer princess from the northern kingdom and had pledged to stay in the Sherwood forest. When Regina had asked Olivia where she was going to go, her daughter had simply smirked and told her; 'onwards'.

Regina blinked against the tears welling up at the thought. Olivia was often gone and it had always been clear that she was never going to be tethered down in the forest she'd grown up in, yet the thought of her daughter who was but a little baby such a short while ago spreading her wings and flying away was still hard to fathom. She heard a soft chuckle behind her and turned to Robin, who was pointing at one of the trees not far from them. Regina frowned but quickly noticed what he was talking about: the two familiar blue eyes of her fourteen year old son as he hid himself in the golden canopy of the treetops. Ivan loved climbing trees, loved watching in silence from the treetops and watching everything beneath him shrink. The members of the tribe had taken to calling the boy 'Sparrow' because he reminded them of the inquisitive, daring birds that tried to steal food often around camp. She laughed through her tears, glad that her youngest wouldn't leave the nest for at least a few years yet.

Robin wrapped her hands around her and leant his chin on the top of her head. Regina let out a soft laugh laced with emotion. "This feels both like the beginning and the end of a story."  
"It is." Robin confirmed, finding her hand and squeezing it. "Everything is."

* * *

**This is it, the end of this story. It's a little hard to let this one go, because I've had such a blast writing it. Your response has been wonderful and overwhelming and has made me so very happy, so THANK YOU so, so much for that. It means so much to me that you liked this story. I'm considering writing a series of oneshots set in this universe, so I'm taking prompts for those. They can be set anymore during or after this story. You can leave a prompt in the reviews for a scene you'd like to see, or hit me up on my tumblr: villainandhero  
**

**this story has been great. I'd love some final reviews of what you thought of the story overall and of course this epilogue. I love you and thank you for reading.**

**xIris  
**


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